Tag Archives: learn

The Field Trip.

I’m not one to promote anything that I don’t believe in.

Let me start by saying I’m not affiliated with The Field Trip in anyway, nor is this a paid post.

I was approached by The Field Trip a while ago now as the CEO’s wife follows my blog. I offered to write about it back then as after looking at the website I thought it was an awesome organisation. Something that I think is well purposed and that there should be more organisations such as The Field Trip. I however got side tracked when trying to workout how to get all that they do in a single post.

So many good things to say about this organisation however I didn’t want to write an essay. Instead I’ve decided to let you make up your own mind.

The Field Trip is a metaphoric journey, empowering young people to find their passion, peers and path.

The Field Trip’s model for measuring impact and success is inspired by the work of Jane Gleeson-White, and her book: Six Capitals, which highlights a recent revolution in attempting to measure humanity’s impact on the world.

This program helps to enable today’s youth purpose, and the ability to achieve things that many adults perhaps thought they could not achieve.

It offers youth the encouragement and foresight to push themselves in a safe environment.

The Field Trip is a youth leadership program with a difference – a metaphoric journey, opening young people’s eyes to possibilities and opportunities which help them achieve their unique potential and create a positive legacy for the local and global community.

Please, do yourself a favour and have a look at the attached web link.

http://www.thefieldtrip.co/purpose

Are argument’s healthy?

I’ve always said that the occasional argument is healthy.

I think that perhaps it’s a way of venting to our significant other, yet it also allows us to work through differences, which in return help us to learn about each other.

We, as people evolve as we age and grow. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes people grow closer.

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/according-psychologists-couples-argue-love/

Do you wish your children would grow up quickly?

I can honestly say that I do not wish my children to grow up.

I personally made the decision to be a stay at home mum a few years ago. Yes it was a tough decision as I was worried about giving up my ‘independence’. But there is no way I would change it for the world. I have made sacrifices but they are absolutely worth it. I was only chatting to a girl friend about this yesterday.

This article had me smile, then had my eyes well with tears. These gorgeous children are my world and I am extremely fortunate that I can be a stay at home mum and spend all my data and time with them.

I have said this before, but again, children are only young once. I certainly don’t want mine to grow up too quickly. I want to have as much time with them as possible and cherish all these moments and first. Watching them grow and learn and become little people.

Please do yourself a favour and read this link. Xx

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/31/young-children-early-years-parenting-family

Playground correctness

I just read this blog on how parents are worried about the perception from their peers about their parenting.

Fear of judgement in what they believe is good or bad parenting.

It got me thinking. So many parents mostly mothers are so worried about being judged for their parenting style or in some cases ‘lack there off’.

Some parents are helicopter parents and don’t allow their children the opportunity to make mishaps. Constantly hovering to correct the child prior to making a mishap. How can they learn if they don’t experience?

This story speaks about mothers who correct the way their children play. Not allowing them to play in dirt or throw sand or even get dirty.

I agree with the writer here. What happened to allowing our children to play and interact with others at playgrounds and parks without interfering?

Yes I believe a parent should step up and observe their child’s play tactics / antics however I also think that children should be allowed to be children and find their own boundaries. Of course to an extent without harming another.

I’m not a believer of taking your child to the park to play so that you can sit with your phone and get on social media. I think it’s very important to play and interact with your child / children however allow them to grow an be children. Remember they are only children for a short time. Let them enjoy their childhood.

I have been the mother that people snarl at or look down upon. I have a 2.5 year old boy who can be quite boisterous. He plays with dirt and uses sticks as swords and can be a little rough at times but i absolutely step in and discipline him if he decides to get too rough or if I see him beginning to get ‘too much’.

I get judged constantly but I’m used to it.

I’m also the mother who apologies to children and their parents if my child hurts or is mean to another and I do also make my child apologise. Perhaps this could be looked at from many perspectives, I could be seen as the ‘don’t care mother’ who allows their child to play freely and use their imagination and interact with the possibility of rough play or I could be seen as the mother of the ‘naughty child’.

Either way, people will always judge, they will always stare and most people will have something to say about another child be it good or bad.

I allow my children to play freely and be active and imaginative. I’m not going to ‘helicopter’ over them and correct them before they do something (unless I know it’s going to be bad) and I want my children to learn their own boundaries (within reason).

This is a great read. Well written and got me nodding whilst I read it. Go ahead – have a read.

http://blog.kinstantly.com/mommy-correctness-on-the-playground/

Sibling arrival.

Sibling arrival.

So how do we cope when number 2 arrives?

My first born is my only boy and is amazing. I never thought I could love another the way that I love him. I think the first born always has you feeling like you make never have enough love to share.

For the first 2.5 years it was he and I. We did everything together and perhaps I doted on him and spoilt him. He was my first born and the love of my life. I was and still am totally besotted by him.

Then number 2 came along. My little princess. I now have 1 of each and feel so blessed. Besotted by both. Amazing how much love you can feel for your children.

However, my little guy now seems so rough and boisterous. How do I deal with this when I have a newborn to protect?

My little man doesn’t understand that newborns require mummy’s attention whilst they are awake including breast feeding. I solely breast feed.

I’ve found these first few months were hard work trying to juggle my little mans needs and feelings while I sat to breastfeed, and my newborn needed the majority of my attention. Just as she would latched on, my little guy would ask to play, and I would find myself snapping, “can you please wait!” I feel so guilty over this but she needs to feed and she certainly doesn’t understand.

He is only 2.5 years old so how does he understand?

For the most part he is amazing. I can put a movie on and he will watch whilst I feed but the past few weeks he has became very demanding of my attention and will climb all over me whilst I’m trying to breastfeed the baby.

I’ve tried a special treat of food or a box of special toys that he is only allowed to play with whilst I breastfeed but neither of these seem to work. He simply wants my attention.

I have sat him down and asked him why he does it. His response was ‘I need my mummy’. It almost broke my heart. I know he needs me and I need him but I can’t help but find myself feeling frustrated with the situation.

I’ve read various blogs and books in dealing with sibling jealousy but am finding nothing seems to work for us.

I don’t like to snap at him and I feel terrible when I do. I can’t lock myself away to feed and when the baby is asleep, he has my undecided attention. We play anything that he wants – which is mostly pirates. I’m feeling a bit lost. What else can I do?

He is only in preschool one day per week and my husband thinks he needs to go more often but again I feel guilty as I’m a stay at home mum. I feel almost like I’m palming him off when he could be home with me?

I’m also a big holder of ‘mummy guilt’ he is the last to be dropped to preschool and the first to be picked up each week, I simply miss my buddy when he is there. I do know he has a great time whilst he is there and that it’s good for him to be social with other children and in a learning environment but I do miss him.

So how do we deal with the arrival of a new sibling?

How do we teach the older child that we still love them as much as ever?

How do we manage the jealousy?

How do we protect the newborn?

How do we time manage?

I thought I had it all under control. Seemingly not. My little man is spoilt, I will and can admit that I have and do spoil him. Perhaps it’s my fault he is lashing out and misbehaving?

Is his behaviour a jealousy thing?

When the baby is asleep he has my undivided attention. We play, we read, we watch movies, we garden, we do everything together.

Why does he feel he needs to misbehave when I’m holding the baby or showing her attention?

Because he was my only child for 2.5years and I allowed him to be the centre of my universe. Perhaps this is my reward? A child who doesn’t understand ‘sharing’ as such yet?

However at 2 years old they don’t yet understand ‘sharing’. They still play side by side at school rather than interact together or shall I say ‘play together’. They are still thinking ‘singular’ and perhaps that to some extent that they are still ‘attached’ to their mother?

All these theories but which one is correct?

It’s interesting as so many people are so quick to pass comment and judge your parenting skills and or techniques.

My thoughts to those who pass comment, especially when they are strangers who don’t know you or your situation – but then does this actually matter? Is who do you think you are to pass comment and or judgment? Are your children the most well behaved in the world?

How do we feel confident in raising our children to be well adjusted, happy, caring, considerate, loving, giving, fair, successful people if we are constantly being judged in our every move?

2nd wife?

The second wife.

So as with most mums whilst my little one is playing and running around at the park I generally chat to other mummies whilst watching him.

I had this very interesting conversation with the other day with another mummy who like mine, her husband was married before her. She called herself the 2nd wife, which I found an interesting label.

So after swapping stories that my hubby was previously married and that we have 1 child together with another on the way, she also had 1 child with her hubby and they were trying for another we got talking about the strangest label of being ‘the 2nd wife’.

When I asked her why she called herself the 2nd wife her answer was simple and true, because she is the second wife.

Her hubby was married previously. She continued to tell me that it’s not a bad thing and that in fact she see’s it as a positive. She said that lots of men have baggage these days and instead of seeing all the negatives, she focuses on the positives.

So after sharing a few laughs and chatting for about an hour I asked ‘so tell me some of these positives, of being the second wife?’.

Her list began –

He made his mistake with the first one and now knows not to do it again.

He now appreciates it takes 2 to make a marriage work and effort on both sides is required.

He now knows what he wants from a marriage and is willing to work for it.

He know’s what he will and won’t put up with from his wife, yet also understand what is acceptable. No frequent big boozy nights and she isn’t the live in help.

So I thought I’d do some further research.

Now this is no disrespect to those on their first marriage, it may be the only marriage that you have. I myself am in my first marriage. However with divorce rates so high, almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce if both parties are on their first marriage. If one or both are on a second marriage, it drops by almost half. Hmmm interesting statistics, so I needed to look into this further for myself. This is what I found in an article written in the UK Daily Mail.

Couples in second marriages are ‘less likely to get divorced’ because they benefit from the experience of the first.

This study found those on their second union benefit from age and experience, and are more ready to commit. Rather than sliding into a marriage without much thought they will have carefully weighed the pros and cons.

Couples on their second marriage are more likely to stay together as they benefit from the experiences and lessons of the past.

‘One possibility is that higher age is a proxy for higher income. Higher income acts as a buffer against some of the everyday difficulties faced by most couples.

‘Another possibility is that higher age means there are fewer young children from prior relationships. ‘And fewer second marriages for men are subject to the social and family pressures that lead into some first marriages. Hence men tend to do better second time round.’

Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr said that while previous statistics have shown that second marriages break down more quickly, maturity may well aid to save a second marriage.

She added the second marriages can be particularly problematic when there are children from both previous marriages.

And Relate counsellor Paula Hall pointed out that money can be tighter in a second marriage due to divorce settlements and child support payments etc so their is more strain on finances within the second marriage however knowing the respect for each other and working together maturely, issues like these can be resolved. It’s been days that second marriages are less expectant on materialistic things and focus more on inner love and happiness.

But she added: ‘People in second marriages seem to have more insight and self-awareness. Having gone through divorce and separation, there can be more motivation to work through problems and save the marriage.’

Are you on your second marriage?

Do you have any insight on marriage?

I’d love to hear your stories.

Noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Huff post – great read – toddlers who try!

I just read this article and felt the need to share it.

Its such a great read and also throws in some helpful information on getting your toddler to try more or I believe help with independence.

There is no harm in helping your child and doing things for them however I’m a big believer teaching self independence and with teaching comes knowledge and hopefully self respect and good self esteem levels.

Have a read and tell me what you think.

noordinarymummy@gmail.com
Copyright © 2014 TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc. | “The Huffington Post” is a registered trademark of TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc. All rights reserved
THE BLOG
Why Some Kids Try Harder and Some Kids Give Up
Tracy Cutchlow 09/16/14 07:05 PM ET
My toddler struggled to buckle the straps on her high chair. “Almost,” she muttered as she tried again and again. “Almost,” I agreed, trying not to hover. When she got it, I exclaimed, “You did it! It was hard, but you kept trying, and you did it. I’m so proud of you.

The way I praised her effort took a little effort on my part. If I hadn’t known better, I might have just said, “Clever girl!” (Or even “Here, let me help you with that.”) What’s so bad about that? Read on.

Stanford researcher Carol Dweck has been studying motivation and perseverance since the 1960s. And she found that children fall into one of two categories:

Those with a fixed mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their innate talent or smarts
Those with a growth mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their hard work
Fixed mindset: ‘If you have to work hard, you don’t have ability.’

Kids with a fixed mindset believe that you are stuck with however much intelligence you’re born with. They would agree with this statement: “If you have to work hard, you don’t have ability. If you have ability, things come naturally to you.” When they fail, these kids feel trapped. They start thinking they must not be as talented or smart as everyone’s been telling them. They avoid challenges, fearful that they won’t look smart.

Growth mindset: ‘The more you challenge yourself, the smarter you become’

Kids with a growth mindset believe that intelligence can be cultivated: the more learning you do, the smarter you become. These kids understand that even geniuses must work hard. When they suffer a setback, they believe they can improve by putting in more time and effort. They value learning over looking smart. They persevere through difficult tasks.

What creates these beliefs in our kids? The type of praise we give them — even starting at age 1.

The research

In one study, Dweck gathered up fifth graders, randomly divided them in two groups, and had them work on problems from an IQ test. She then praised the first group for their intelligence:

“Wow, that’s a really good score. You must be smart at this.”

She praised the second group for their effort:

“Wow, that’s a really good score. You must have tried really hard.”

She continued to test the kids, including presenting them with a choice between a harder or easier task.

Kids praised for their effort tended to take the challenging task, knowing they could learn more. They were more likely to continue feeling motivated to learn and to retain their confidence as problems got harder.

Kids praised for their intelligence requested the easier task, knowing there was a higher chance of success. They lost their confidence as problems got harder, and they were much more likely to inflate their test scores when recounting them.

Later, Dweck and her colleagues took the study out of the lab and into the home. Every four months for two years, Stanford and University of Chicago researchers visited fifty-three families and recorded them for ninety minutes as they went about their usual routines. The children were 14 months old at the start of the study.

Researchers then calculated how often parents used each type of praise: praising effort; praising character traits; and “other praise” that has a neutral effect, like “Good!” and “Wow!”

They waited five years.

Then the researchers surveyed the children, now 7 to 8 years old, on their attitudes toward challenges and learning. Children with a growth mindset tended to be more interested in challenges. Which kids had a growth mindset? Those who had heard more process praise as toddlers.

Can you unfix a fixed mindset?

I got an email from an inner-city high school teacher. “Is it too late to learn algebra, or third-person singular conjugation, or rocket science if you didn’t [develop a growth mindset] when you were 4 years old?” she asked.

Dweck had the same question. So she took middle-schoolers and college students who had fixed mindsets. She found that the students were able to improve their grades when they were taught that the brain is like a muscle: intelligence is not fixed.

It’s not too late — not for your kids, and not for you. Salman Khan of Khan Academy is on a mission to let you know it. He created an inspiring video, based on Dweck’s work, titled “You Can Learn Anything”:
The message: The brain is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The way you exercise your brain is by embracing challenges, practicing skills, learning new things. As Khan puts it, “the brain grows most by getting questions wrong, not right.”

Which is why, when my toddler was trying to snap her own buckle, I needed to encourage her to take on the challenge by saying, “Almost!” and “Try again” instead of “Here, let me do that for you.”

Pass it on

Sharing is caring, as they say. “If society as a whole begins to embrace the struggle of learning, there is no end to what that could mean for global human potential,” Khan writes.

So pass it on!

Parenting whilst distracted.

Parenting whilst distracted.

I’ve previously written an article on a similar subject but I feel very strongly about it and recently read a very informative article by an extremely reputable paediatric specialist. This was also on SBS recently so I felt I needed to share this information from someone who does know what they are talking about.

Their words are easy to understand and this makes absolute sense to me.

I’m not saying there is no place for technology, we live in a very technologically advanced world, however what I am saying, is that there is a time and place for it.

Our children are only young once. Enjoy the time.

Have a read and let me know your thoughts.

Parenting while distracted.
I’ve been a pediatrician for 20 years, and I thought I’d seen it all. But not long ago, when a father brought his 2-year-old into my clinic, something happened that has me deeply concerned.
Written By Jane Scott
Source The Washington Post
11 AUG 2014 –

I’ve been a pediatrician for 20 years, and I thought I’d seen it all. But not long ago, when a father brought his 2-year-old into my clinic, something happened that has me deeply concerned.

Upon entering my examining room, I found father and son sitting together, eyes downcast, each silently scrolling and tapping on smartphones. During my initial exam, the father directed most of my questions to his frowning toddler, who indicated that his ears hurt, and I quickly discovered that both eardrums were red and inflamed.

“Guess what?” I said to my small patient. “Your ears hurt because you have an ear infection. But we can give you medicine and make you better.” I smiled at the little boy and his father. Immediately, the child picked up his phone and pushed a button. “Siri,” he asked carefully. “What ear ‘fection?”

At age 2, a few minutes on a smartphone isn’t a big deal; screen time is a part of growing up today, and most parents try to set appropriate limits. But when a child so young turned to a machine for information instead of to his father, it made me wonder: Just how limited was his parents’ screen time? What I saw was modeled behavior — a child who has learned that when he has a question, Siri, and not Dad, is most readily available with an answer.

It’s hard to say for sure based on this one moment, but there can be no doubt about the larger trend: Parents today are probably the most informed and involved generation in history. And, yet, in the company of their children, they often act as though they’d rather be someplace else. That’s what they’re saying when they break eye contact to glance at their push notifications or check Facebook when they think their child’s distracted. The parents are present, their attention is not.

In my practice, I see evidence every day of how such inattention affects kids. It’s expressed in temper tantrums and separation anxiety, and older children who resist discipline. Most parents are taught that this is all normal, that children are biologically wired this way. Not exactly. Yes, all of this is normal attention-getting behavior, but it often is preventable.

Consider the results of a March study by researchers from Boston Medical Center who carefully observed caregivers and children at fast-food restaurants. Out of 55 caregivers, 40 used their mobile devices, and their absorption was such that their “primary engagement was with the device, rather than the child.” In many cases, the caregivers expressed irritation when the children tried to get their attention. One observer watched a woman push a small boy away as he took her face in his hands in an attempt to get her to look up from her tablet.

It’s possible all those adults were following an urgent work email thread. More likely, they were on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest. A 2011 Nielsen poll found that people with children use social media more than those without. Maybe these adults were reading an article shared by another parent. Maybe they were making plans with friends and family. But they were definitely communicating to their children that they were less important than whatever was on those devices.

This might seem absurd to today’s parents, who feel like they give themselves to their children in ways previous generations never imagined. But the undivided attention that children need from us is in jeopardy. Most people just don’t realize how much time they’re spending online; what feels like a few minutes is often a half hour or more. When we are with our children, we need to be with our children — not with them except for the part of us that’s reading emails, tweeting and checking Facebook.

Another reason for parents to put down their phones: Though Facebook may provide community, it can also promote competition and unreachable standards of perfection. Through Facebook, we read an endless litany of our friends’ boasts about their children. It’s enough to make a person wonder what she’s doing wrong because her child prefers plain pasta over the curry special or “Old MacDonald” to Chopin. Though most parents would say they’re not competitive in this way, many worry privately that they might be short-changing their kids.

Social media has a place and a purpose, but too many parents are creating unnecessary stress by trying to be in two places at once, while modeling to their children that online relationships take precedence over real ones. In an era of constant distraction, we must decide what’s more important: heeding the constant ping of our devices or telling our children, in word and deed, “I am listening. I am here. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Teaching your child to read.

Teaching children to read – school ready!

Preparing your child for school begins at an early age, which is why it’s important to learn fun ways to teach your child to read. With the ever changing challenges your children will automatically face in school, you shouldn’t wait until kindergarten for your child to start and learn this essential skill.

Learning doesn’t have to be hard and let’s face it, it should be fun!

Here are done of my tips on getting started and helping your little ones to learn and expand their minds, knowledge and vocabulary.

1. FLASH CARDS

Back when I was at school – yes a while ago now, flash cards were the basics when it came to ways to learn to read. I remember playing snap and memory with my parents and siblings. Simple and easy to make your own bit most of all effective!

2. ROAD SIGNS

The road sign game is a lot of fun with your little ones. Granted, some names are difficult for little ones to pronounce in the beginning; however, it’s a fun and effective way for them to also learn colours on stop and give-way signs, also shapes of these signs, being hexagonal and triangle.

3. CHILDREN’S SHOWS

Children’s shows, such as Thomas the Tank Engine, Play School, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, and many more, offer some reading and word recognition skills. You can decide on your own which is the best option for your child, as some children’s TV shows are purely for entertainment purposes only.

4. COMPUTER-BASED LEARNING

Products like LeapFrog and Jumpstart offer computer-based learning, including reading skills. You can also download inexpensive and sometimes free apps for your iPad to help expand these skills. With so many options if you choose the right ones you can help your little one learn numbers, abc and much more!

5. MENUS

When dining out, you can use the menus to help your little one learn new words. In some restaurants you can also work on their foreign language skills and of course the cost of the meal. You can also get them interested in a healthy diet. Menus today, especially in fast-food restaurants, are required to show the calories for each option. This can help with not only learning and pronunciation of words but also numbers.
6. COMIC BOOKS

For children who love super-heroes, you can use comic books to help them learn to read. They are colorful, entertaining, and interest them as it highlights and showcases their favourite characters like Batman, Spider-Man, and more.
7. READ WITH THEM

Reading at least one story to your children before bedtime is a great way to encourage them to read. Books allow you to escape into a new world for both you and your child. Books inspire the imagination, also try having them read to you. They may miss words but it will excite them to turn pages and make up their own shorties. This will help your children wanting to learn more, just so they can discover what the happens next in the books.

Actions and Reactions

Actions and reaction.

They say for every action there will be a reaction.

Well I absolutely believe in this.

I recent had a converstation with my nieces who are ‘Tweens’ 11 years old and 12 years old about this very subject.

The older niece is quite care free and is friends with most kids in her school grade. Whereas the younger is quite choosy with who she is friends with and I understand why.

I didn’t friend a lot of people at school and for very similar reasons to that of my younger niece. I didn’t need a lot of friends especially those who were not true friends. I am a big believe in quality not quantity. There were also some nasty people around and some girls who had bad reputations so I also chose to distance myself to them and not be associated with those types of personalities.

So back to conversations about actions and reactions. I have a friend who was telling me that one of her friends, had got herself ‘labelled’ for want of a nicer description, when she was younger. She was the girl that for attention would date all the guys and most often at a young age have sexual relations with them to be ‘popular’, there are better ways to be ‘popular’ but why do you need to be the ‘popular one anyway? That label staid with her. Everyone though of her as that person and until this day, some people still refer to her as that type of person.

No matter how she thought she had changed or how she tried to convince others she had changed, fact is people still thought of her in that way. I explained this to my nieces as the older one who is friends with a lot of people ‘nice’ and ‘not so nice’ so Im hoping they understood the affects some actions can take on your future.

So my moral to this story is no matter how you behave now, there will always be someone who knows the ‘old’ you. You may be trying to better yourself for whatever reason, to get ahead in your career, to gain a partner whatever. If you are being truthful to yourself that’s great, grow and change for the better but don’t try to ‘fool’ others. There is also another saying the leopard can never change it’s spots!

Think about your actions, think about how you treat people. My grandmother always said ‘treat others the way you wish to be treated’. I do, I’m not afraid of who I am and I don’t think to much of those people who are negative towards me.

I don’t invite negativity into my life, however sometimes we can’t help those negative people who have to enter it for whatever reason.

I’m proud of the person I’ve become and don’t need people to like me, you take me as I am or not at all. I won’t change to suit your needs and I don’t believe you should change who you are for me. We don’t all need to get along nor do we all need to be friends.

Choose your friends carefully and appreciate those who respect you and that you respect and hold dear. One if my favourite sayings is ‘true friends are like diamonds, shiny and rare, false friends are like autumn leaves, they can be found anywhere.

Yes I am a strong, opinionated possibly dominate personality – I have actually been told this 🙂 but I don’t mess people around, to say I am a straight shooter is possibly ‘right on’. I speak truthfully and perhaps sometimes the truth may hurt, but then what am I saying for you to take it personally? I’m not malicious and I don’t go out of my way to offend people. So again for every action, there will be a reaction. Act the way you would like the reaction to be.

I once read a statement that ‘being famous on Instagram is like being rich in monopoly, it’s not real so calm down’. This rings true.

I also think that your past can always come back to haunt you.

This is a life lesson I will be teaching my children and only hope that they become wonderful humans who make wise decisions.

I found this article that I think is interesting.

Let me know your thoughts.

http://verse-afire.com/blog/?p=3242