These are uncertain times.
People are stressed and suffering anxiety more than ever before.
These circumstances are something that the majority of us have never experienced before and possibly won’t experience again.
And it’s ok.
It’s ok to feel alone.
It’s ok to feel overwhelmed.
It’s ok to be anxious.
It’s ok to be fearful.
It’s ok sad.
It’s ok to cry.
It’s ok to not know.
It’s ok to feel confused.
It’s ok to feel misunderstood.
It’s ok to not feel your ‘normal’ self.
But what we must not do, is allow it to overcome us.
I know it seems easy for me to say as I sit here typing on my couch, but we can’t allow it to overcome us. We are stronger than this. Have your bad days, weeks, time. You are also grieving a loss.
A loss of normality, a loss of seeing those whom you love, who you would normally spend your time with. The smile from other parents, children or teachers at school drop off or pick up, the smile from the stranger in the supermarket. A smile is contagious and if your not receiving them, you may start to feel sadness.
Communication is now more important than ever. Call, write, email, FaceTime. Stay connected to those whom you can’t give a hug too. Contact the ones who cheer you up. The ones whom are normally the happy bubbly person. They may be able to help you see the light on this dim situation. Or they may need cheering up themselves.
It’s times like these that push us to limits.
Push us to what feels like breaking point.
Push us into uncharted territory where we haven’t been before.
These times will have us question almost everything in our lives.
Are we actually happy?
Do we really enjoy what we are doing with our lives?
Is this the life I actually want to live?
Is this really the person whom I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Reflect on yourself, good or bad.
Being in isolation can make or break you.
It can show you sides of others that you may not want to see. You may see greed, anger, nastiness, love, care, understanding, arrogance, selfishness. It’s uncertainty that feeds on anxiety and emotion.
People whom you once saw in a particular way, may not actually be that person. Statistics have shown that domestic violence has tripled in China over this pandemic. Domestic violence could be emotional or physical. Someone hitting you, pushing you or even a shove, be it slightly forceful or violently or even yelling at you in a derogatory way or calling you names, saying you are negative, intolerable, unbearable to be around is abuse. This is domestic violence and neither are acceptable or should be tolerated.
People fear the unknown and for the majority, the unknown creates anxiety. Anxiety can have us behaving in ways that we normally would not.
In these uncertain times more than ever, take time for you. It may seem far fetched, unattainable or unreasonable because others are relying on you (children and family) however if you are not coping, how can you help others? It may seem selfish and that the responsibility is falling on you which is another stress, but you need to look after yourself, first and foremost.
Even taking a warm bath alone may help. Do some stretching, sit with your eyes closed on the floor with your legs crossed and focus for 5 minutes on your breathing. Slow breaths in then slowly breath out. Even lay flat, with your eyes closed. Taking time away from normality, even for a short time will help your own mental health.
You may feel like you have no time alone, or selfish for having time alone. However, we as people are not meant to be constantly in the company of others. We need to recharge ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with doing so.
You may find that things that used to make you feel happy no longer do. Change is confronting and can also be confusing.
Find comfort in things that make you happy.
Not everyone will support you. Not everyone will understand you. Sometimes you just need empathy, compassion and comfort in your feelings. Not being put down and made to feel worse about the situation. Support those who are not coping. Don’t make them feel worse about their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings and help them to feel better. Sometimes it’s better to keep your own personal options to yourself. Try to support those who are not finding this difficult situation easy. Those whom appear to be the strongest in dealing with stressful times may actually be the ones needing to be supported the most in these unusual situations.
We will all come out of this. But being told that may not be the most appropriate thing to say to someone struggling at the moment. Being kind, empathetic and compassionate are nicer qualities. Being supportive may mean being quiet and just saying nothing. Listen to how others are feeling. By saying your feelings aloud is venting and that in itself is a release of fear and anxiety. Being able to admit and speak about how your feelings will help you overcome them.
Don’t let fear overcome you.
Please remember to be kind.
Change can be good.
It’s ok to have all kinds of feelings.
Just feel them. 💗