Tag Archives: yourself

Relationships – defining them?

Relationships.

Well let me firstly start by saying – every relationship is hard! Be it a friendship, partnership or marriage. As most of my loyal readers know, I love sex and the city. I watch the episodes over and over along with the movies – never have enough. Sad but true. I recently watched the episode where Carrie is trying to define relationships. I think it’s the final episode where she comes back from Paris with big and it’s right at the end where she meets up with the girls in their favourite cafe and as the walk out it quotes – “most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.’ Carrie – I love this quote.

Anyway – I recently spoke with a friend whom has recently broken up from a long term relationship. They were talking marriage, children, sharing the rest of their lives together. Now they have gone separate ways.

When I asked what was the reasoning behind the break up, as I thought that they seemed so in love, the response was that they were no longer physically attracted to their partner.

I then thought to myself, perhaps the relationship was doomed from the beginning? Yes it would be nice to have a physically attractive partner but looks are only ‘skin deep’. Looks fade and over time what we find physically attractive changes.

I personally believe that you should always be attracted to the personality over looks. Be with someone who makes you laugh, who you can be your true self with and be comfortable enough in their company to sit in silence and just ‘be together’. A friend.

Not that I’ve always taken my own advice.

So what are relationships based on if it’s only physical?

We all eventually age and wrinkle. Some of us even gain weight and get bad skin. How can we sustain a relationship long term if we are only basing our relationships on physical attraction? Are people or couples honestly up for ‘sex’ 100% of the time? Do you not get tired, get too busy, feel emotionally drained, be physically drained, become stressed, feel less attractive yourself or just not be ‘in the mood’? Perhaps I’m the only one?

Relationships take work. They are not easy and they are certainly a compromise.

I’ve always said and will continue to say. At any given stage within a relationship, one of the partners will be more in love than the other. This I think is just a true hard fact.

I believe that you cannot possibly be 100% in love and attracted physically, emotionally and mentally to the same person 100% of the time. I’m the first to admit that I’m not 100%, 100% of the time.

Having ‘things’ in common or having common ground and likes are a good start but what happens when your hobbies or likes evolve. We all evolve as people and change. I know I don’t like the same things as I did 10 years ago. Perhaps not even 5 years ago? So how are we supposed to be happy with the same person for the rest of our lives?

Well we compromise.

We compromise our likes and wants to help make a relationship work.

What happens though if one partner gives more and compromises more than the other? Is this fair and why should they be the only one to compromise or make sacrifices?

I personally don’t believe that in say a 20, 30, 40 or 50 year marriage that both partners are 100% in love 100% of the time. Most relationships have hurdles and hard times and I believe that by having differences you grow as a partnership. You overcome differences and learn more about each other.

So I gave my advice to my friend and I hope that they are thinking wisely about their future choices. Physical attraction will always ‘grow old’. Mental and emotional attraction will change but I think you can build more on mental and emotional attraction.

I ask, what made you fall in love with your partner?

Do you agree that relationships are work?

Do you think that it’s compromise?

How much would you compromise?

noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Mix up your workout!

Mix up your workout –

If your like me and have become complacent in your workouts, below are a few tips on how to get back into the ‘groove’ and become excited to workout again!

Cut your workout time down!

Working harder for a shorter amount of time is so much better for fat loss results. High Intensity Interval Training is probably the fastest ways to melt fat from your body and also accelerate your fitness levels. Rather than your traditional 30 or 45 mins of cardio on the treadmill at the same intensity/speed, try this:

60 secs sprints (as hard as you can) with 90 secs recovery time (this can be at a walk pace or even a slow jog). Try this for a total of 20-22 minutes. Notice the calorie burn and how you feel afterwards – similar energy burn for much less time.

Swap up your barbell with a medicine ball.

Lots of us use dumbbell training in our workouts but why not mix it up? Try using a medicine ball or barbell for your entire workout. It’s amazing how heavy a 5kg medicine ball can feel as a posed to a barbell, this also helps to engage other muscle groups therefore harder workout – better results!

Get out

If you are a regular indoor gym participant have a week outdoors and expand your exercise mindset. Go for a run or try running up and down stairs, climb walls – indoor abseiling is allowed, step up to benches/tables/chairs. You’ll be amazed how quickly your workout goes when your outdoors and absorbing your surroundings also.

Add unstable training to your workout

Have you tried squats on a Fit Ball? What about a single leg squat? I was working out at a gym on the northern beaches many years ago and one of the personal trainers there suggested I try these. Killer! By adding balance training to your routine will force your muscles especially your core muscles to work harder and it also helps your reflexes to become faster. You don’t need fancy equipment, simply using your arm weights whilst standing on one leg completely changes your focus.

Try a non-electronic workout

Block all cardio equipment that uses power. No treadmill, stepper, cross trainer, bike. Great creative – try high knees, ice skaters, skipping, plyometrics, mountain climbers, running especially outdoors and swimming. You are guaranteed to see better results and will feel the difference in your hear rate.

Use time under tension (TUT)

I’ve previously been guilty of performing the same speed in a lot of my workouts or actually just sticking to the same workout routine. The average time it takes to perform 10 reps is usually about 15-20 seconds, what you want to try is draw this out to 30-40 sec. Where each rep would usually take you 1-2 sec to perform, aim for it to take up 3-4 secs per rep. The more time under tension, the harder the workout and therefore greater results. Expect TUT to help increase muscle growth and delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS).

Add agility training to your workouts

Rarely do people try agility training (ladder runs, jumping). Yes, it’s quite sports specific but it’s great to shake things up in current workout and everyone can benefit from agility work. Something really simple is an shuttle run, working on accelerating, decelerating and directional change.

Ban all floor-based ab workouts

There’s no need to freak out, here are some suggestions: Knee to elbow hangs, wood chops or even the plank – especially on an angle – put your feet on the lounge, elbows on the ground allowing your weight to be angled (feet higher than shoulders) have feet shoulder width apart, keep your tummy tight and control your breathing. Hold for 10 seconds then release – rest for 10 seconds then repeat. As you get a stronger core try to lengthen the time to 15 seconds then 20 seconds. Do this for 8-10 reps.

Become competitive with a friend.

Go running! Pick someone who is a better runner than you so that you challenge yourself, push yourself harder and feel that burn. So many of us get caught out running the same track, same pace and for the same distance and time. Running with a better or faster runner than you will force you out of that comfort zone and make you push yourself harder.

Try using your own body weight

No machines allowed. Be creative with your workouts – easily done at home. Try – step ups, lunges, side lunges, burpees, push-ups and planks etc. Use the TUT method with this body weight only method to challenge yourself and better results.

Do you have a fantasy?

Fantasies.

I’ve been reading a few books lately and they are mostly biographies however a couple have been fiction novels that have got me thinking.

A recent read is called ‘just one night’ by Kyra Davis. Kyra is a New York Times best selling author and this book certainly does not let her down.

It’s a great book about a women who has the successful corporate career, a long term boyfriend whom she believes she will marry and the ‘proper’ family whom have all the silver linings laid out for her. One night in Vegas with her best friend changes it all though.

The book goes into detail about fantasies and what is expected from certain people and families and what is and isn’t ‘appropriate’.

In one part of the book the lead character is speaking with her best friend about fantasises and the best friend describes why they are a fantasy and why not to act on fantasises, to keep them as a fantasy and the excitement of that to yourself. Sometimes when fantasy’s are played out the excitement isn’t quite the same.

Well different people will have different opinions on this but the book had me thinking about my fantasies and would I ever act on them?

Most fantasies are kept secret as the best friend in the novel suggests. Some are bought to life and some are keep deep inside of oneself.

Some may be sexual fantasies about tall, tanned, well built, defined, handsome men starring at you from across the bar, then slowly approaching you but never taking his almond shaped green eyes away from your’s, keeping the intensity and keeping you intrigued. His body is built like that of a professional athlete, strong, muscular and visible through his fitted business shirt. He finally riches your side and you know there are no words needed. You both know heard going to happen and neither of you want it to stop. The conversation is short, you reach for your clutch and follow him to get a taxi. He opens the door for you and no longer are you in the taxi but you are kissing each other passionately, like you have never felt such lust or want for anyone ever. Hands are fumbling, grabbing and pulling each other closer. You reach his place and make your way in….,

Or your fantasy could be about owning a wonderful home on the beach side. Having a fast car, fantasy zing about a wonderful office with water views…..

Whatever your fantasy they are neither wrong or right. We each have individual needs and wants it’s weather or not we choose to bring them to life that keeps them a fantasy or makes them real.
The encyclopaedia definition of fantasy is :

fantasy
ˈfantəsi,-zi/
noun
1.
the faculty or activity of imagining impossible or improbable things.
“his researches had moved into the realms of fantasy”
synonyms: imagination, creativity, fancy, invention, originality, vision, speculation, make-believe, daydreaming, reverie More
antonyms: truth, realism
a fanciful mental image, typically one on which a person often dwells and which reflects their conscious or unconscious wishes.
plural noun: fantasies
“the notion of being independent is a child’s ultimate fantasy”
synonyms: dream, daydream, pipe dream, flight of fancy, fanciful notion, wish, wishful thinking; More
an idea with no basis in reality.
“it is a misleading fantasy to suggest that the bill can be implemented”
a genre of imaginative fiction involving magic and adventure, especially in a setting other than the real world.
synonyms: myth, legend, fable, fairy tale, romance;
More
antonyms: realism
2.
a fantasia.
verbliterary
verb: fantasy; 3rd person present: fantasies; past tense: fantasied; past participle: fantasied; gerund or present participle: fantasying
1.
imagine the occurrence of; fantasize about.
“it is ludicrous to fantasy ‘disinventing’ the hydrogen bomb”

So I ask, do you have fantasy?

Are they a little ‘taboo’?

Would you act on them?

Drop me an email –

Noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Read more about this novel below.

http://www.kyradavis.com/p/just-one-night-series.html?m=1

Flat tummy? Coming up!

Are you obsessed with having a flat tummy?

Here are a few quick exercises that will have your tummy flatter in no time! However remember exercise is only part of the equation, diet is a huge factor in keeping your tummy flat! Certain foods contain gasses that can keep you bloated and too many fatty foods simply ‘keep you fat’ ….!

Give these a go, hold each exercise for 30 seconds and repeat 5 times each exercise. Make it fun and do it circuit style, do the first exercise holding for 30 seconds, then the second exercise again holding for 30 seconds and continue on until all 5 exercises are completed. Repeat each exercise 5 times!

First exercise –

Get in a forearm plank with abs engaged and feet wider than hips on sliding discs. (Or put some socks on) Raise hips in the air as high as possible, sliding feet in together, and holding abs in sucking them towards your spine. Return to starting position.

Second exercise –

Lie face up with hands clasped behind head, legs extended about hip-width apart keep feet flexed. Engage abs and sit up, bending knees and sliding heels into body. Slowly lower back to starting position. If this hurts your bottom / tail bone, use a low pillow to cushion.

Third exercise –

Lie facedown with arms overhead, open your legs hip-width apart, toes pointed. Extend spine and lift chest off the floor, sliding arms downward towards your sides as your body lifts. Return to starting position.

Forth exercise –

Get on all fours with your toes tucked under again in socks. Tighten your abs and lift knees a few inches off the floor, keeping hips in line with shoulders. Swivel your knees slightly to the right, pivoting feet, keeping shoulders over hands then swivel knees to the left. Continue, alternating sides. Instead if holding this for 30 seconds each, try rotating to each side holding at each side for 10 seconds.

Fifth exercise –

Get in a side elbow plank position with right elbow bent under shoulder, left hand behind head, legs and hips straight keeping your feet flexed. Extend left leg in front of hip (keep knee as straight as possible, bending to modify if needed) and touch toes with left hand. Return to starting position. Switch sides to complete set.

Remember feeling toned and confident is also your mindset, thinking healthy, eating healthy and living healthy are the most important things you can do for yourself!

Also remember that being thin is not always healthy, a lot of people starve them self to be thin. This will have adverse affect long term as starving your body is mainly starving your organs and by starving them you cannot function properly. Eventually your organs will ‘give up’ or ‘shut down’ from lack of nutrients, which we all get from food, eating a well balanced diet is key!

Remember it’s only as hard as you want it to be!

Jessica Rowe – Strong and Truthful.

I saw this in the Sydney Morning Herald today and felt the need to share.

I love her statements and absolutely Agee, life is not perfect, no one us perfect so don’t be so hard on yourself.

On her 44th birthday, Jessica Rowe shares 44 of the lessons she’s learnt along her life’s journey.

“I need to have a good strong talk to myself” … Jessica Rowe.

My life is in dire need of a steam clean, and there’s no better time to clear away the crap and cobwebs than on a birthday. Tomorrow I turn 44 years old, and I figure it’s a good time to reflect on and celebrate the life lessons I have learnt, still haven’t learnt, should learn and will never learn.

I’ve put together a list of those lessons, but before you groan, this is not a bunch of smug, self-satisfied rules for living. Besides, lists have never been my strong point, as I exist permanently in a state of controlled chaos.

However, if the apocalypse is nigh, my family and I could live quite comfortably in my car. There would be enough to eat, with scraps of food left over from old school lunches, along with stagnant water from half-drunk Disney Snow Queen Elsa water bottles.

And my family would be well-clothed, since I have a mountain of clothes for big and little people in the boot. If you need something to help pass the time, there’s piles of reading material, with a month’s worth of newspapers stacked on the front seat and overdue school library books jammed under the driver’s seat. Plus there are some sparkly purple fairy wings to help you get the hell out of this place if it really is all too terrible …

The unlisty life continues inside our home, with piles of washing, explosions of toys, clean dishes, dirty dishes, books, two cats, four fish surviving in an algae-filled tank, and two tadpoles, named Lily and Rosebud, who are existing in a sludgy, slimy glass bowl. I need to have a good strong talk to myself and take some of the following pieces of advice:

• Don’t worry if your house is a pigsty; it’s a home, not a showroom.

• Never reveal the actual cost of your shoes. They were on sale and an absolute bargain. Besides they’re not new, anyway.

• Stop pretending life is perfect, it’s not; it can be messy, hard and heartbreaking.

• Be honest about the vile times – it gives other people permission to also fess up to their struggles.

• Don’t forget to tell the people closest to you that you love them.

• Return phone calls – but if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your friends. (I do love you, really I do … )

• When you’re faced with boldness, be bolder. (I have to credit Napoleon Bonaparte for that cracker of a quote.)

• You are a good mother.

• You don’t have to have biological kids to be a mum; mothering comes in all shapes and sizes.

• It doesn’t matter if you pushed your baby out of your vagina or had it unzipped out of your stomach. All that matters is that you and your child are healthy.

• Breastfeeding can be hard: it hurts and your nipples can bleed.

• Using formula to bottle feed your babies doesn’t lower their IQ or make you any less of a mother.

• Sometimes you hate being a mum, but it doesn’t mean you hate your kids. They make your heart ache with love. It’s the unrelenting roles associated with the title of “mum” that can wear you down.

• Babies will go to sleep … eventually. (Although I’m still waiting for mine to sleep through the night!)

• Going to the park is boring.

• Playing with little kids all day is boring.

• Being with your kids all day can be blissful.

• Having a break from your children is heaven.

• You feel guilty enjoying time away from your family.

• You feel guilty for not being present, and in the moment with your family.

• You feel guilty for going to work.

• You feel guilty for not going to work.

• Your libido can go missing for a while, but don’t forget the raunchy and sexy woman you have been and still are.

• Nothing beats chocolate in bed and a Swedish crime thriller.

• Vibrators are very handy.

• Men do not notice stretch marks and cellulite; only other women notice the songlines of your body.

• Support other women and the choices they make, even if they’re not your choices.

• Go gently on yourself; you are enough.

• Tracksuits should not be worn outdoors.

• Leopard print is classic.

• You can never have enough sparkle on your clothes and in your life.

• Pink, purple and blue hair rocks.

• Floss your teeth.

• Laughter is the best medicine, but antidepressants come a close second.

• The only normal people in your life are the ones you don’t know very well.

• Be kind.

• Baked beans on toast is okay for dinner every now and then.

• Stay optimistic. It doesn’t mean being a Pollyanna, but cynicism is ugly.

• Don’t lead a safe life, take risks. It is far better to go down in flames than live a small, timid existence.

• Sometimes you have no control over what happens to you, but what you can control is how you choose to deal with it.

• Sugar is good for you.

• It’s not always about you. (But what do you really think about me???)

• Stop worrying about what other people think of you. (Are you listening, Jessica?)

• Ignore lists. Only you know what is best for you and your family.

Quick Effective Beauty Secrets!

I am all about learning beauty secrets and I suspect you are, too. After all, it is the little things that really make the difference. We want to look and feel our best.
Here are some beauty secrets that can help you to do that.

1. Your Nails Dry Faster after a Cold Water Dip

Do you get tired of sitting and waiting for your nails to dry? I know that I do. I always have a thousand things on my mind that I want to do and waiting for nails to dry isn’t one of them. I learned that if you dip your hands in cold water when they are tacky, it will help them to set and they will be dry much faster. Plunging them in ice water for ten or fifteen seconds is even better. This is one of my favorite beauty secrets because it helps me save so much time.

2. Baking Soda Mixed with Shampoo Equals Less Buildup

This is a beauty secret that I learned to help me to deal with buildup. Clarifying shampoos are harsh on your hair when used often. Instead of using a clarifying shampoo on a regular basis, try this. Mix a teaspoon of baking soda in with your regular shampoo and wash your hair as you normally would. You only do this as needed and it works beautifully.

3. Stretch Your Mascara Longer by Using This Trick

This one will be loved by all of you mascara queens out there. If you want to stretch your mascara to last a longer amount of time, try this. When you feel like your mascara is drying out, add two to four drops of regular Visine or a multipurpose contact solution and shake. It will moisten your mascara and let you use it for a few weeks longer. This is especially helpful when you need a new mascara and don’t have one stashed back.

4. Eye Cream Isn’t Just for Your Eyes

Eye cream isn’t just for your eyes, ladies. If you are using an eye cream that is designed to target and reduce wrinkles, don’t limit it. Use it around your lips and on your forehead. Basically, you should use it wherever you are seeing wrinkles or the beginnings of wrinkles. It can do wonders for all those areas.

5. Lip Exfoliation And Plumping on The Cheap

Lips need exfoliation from time to time. This seems to be especially true when the weather is cool and they dry out. You don’t have to have a special lip product for this. A new toothbrush works wonderfully. Simply wet the toothbrush and gently scrub it across your lips. Not only will it exfoliate them but it will give you a bit of plumping in your lips as well.

6. Moisturize Upward

This one makes a lot of sense if you think about it. When we put on moisturizer, most of us use a downward motion. When we do that, we are pulling our skin down and helping wrinkles to form. Change your habit. Apply your moisturizer in an upward motion. You can help fight the tide of gravity this way.

7. When in a Pinch

Sometimes, you want to liven up your cheeks a little but you don’t have your blush with you. Here is a little secret that dates way back into the 1800s and maybe even beyond. All you need to do is gently pinch the areas of your face where you naturally blush or along your cheekbones. This is not the most pleasant way of adding color but it is very effective. It also gives you a very natural blush which you cannot achieve with a cosmetic product.

These are only 7 beauty secrets that I am thankful I know. I would love it if you would share some of yours with me.

What are your best beauty secrets?

Defining Relationships?

Sex and the city and Relationship definition?

How do you define your relationships?

Do we have to define our relationships?

Well I’m a HUGE, MASSIVE sex and the city fan. I can watch the series over and over. Oh and the movies! Yep I’m totally a fan! My husband thinks I’m obsessed and bizzar but I simply love it!!

I think we can all relate to one of them. I’m not sure which one I relate to? I think a little of each of them?

These girls defined many of us. The ups and downs of being female. Friendships, boyfriends, finances, careers, outfits – oh the outfits! Long lunches, tears on the phone, late night calls, babies and so on.

So if like me, you have watched the series and movies over and over again and again you will know and remember the most of the famous one liners and are happy to use them. Here are a few of my favorites.

The girls hit Atlantic City to celebrate Charlotte’s ‘thirty-faux’ birthday:
Carrie: “People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates – hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.”

After Miranda’s soon-to-be hubby, Steve, recovers from testicular cancer: “Balls are to men what purses are to women. It’s just a little bag, but we’d feel naked in public without it” – Carrie

Anti-bride Miranda on choosing her wedding dress: Miranda: “I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says ‘virgin’. I have a child. The jig is up.”

After hearing that Charlotte caught her date kissing another woman – whilst still on the date: Samantha: “Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls… because they can.”

On Charlotte’s blind optimism: Charlotte: “I read it in a magazine.”
Miranda: “What magazine? Convenient Theories For You Monthly?”

On not having the money for a deposit to buy back her apartment from Aidan after they split: Carrie: “I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live?! I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes.”

On having some perspective: Carrie: “Saturday night’s dinner came and went with no call from Big. My life was suddenly shit.”

On moving to Napa: Carrie: “If you’re tired, you take a napa, you don’t move to Napa.”

On Aidan making a mess whilst he renovates her flat: Carrie: “You can stay here with your boxes of shit and your shoe-eating dog and knock yourself out putting on the Rogaine and the Speed Stick.”

On Carrie’s first book cover: Courtney (showing Carrie her book cover): “Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast paced city. And you, naked with nothing but your ideas.” Carrie: “I get it. But, see, no matter how fast paced the city, I always manage to get my clothes on before I leave the apartment.”

On chocolate addictions and excellent voicemail messages: Miranda (leaving a message on Carrie’s answering machine): “Your good friend Miranda has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.”

On investing: Carrie: “I like my money right where I can see it… Hanging in my closet.”

On moving in with Aidan: Carrie: “I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know: They are people who have recently moved in with someone.”

On critiquing your boyfriend’s new book:
Carrie: “And if you would shut your trap, I could tell you that I love, love, loved it! I loved it… Except for one huge problem. You have your leading lady running all over town wearing a scrunchie. A SCRUNCHIE!”

After finding out Samantha, in the quest for eternal youth, is having the fat from her derrière injected into her face:
Miranda: “Whatever happened to aging gracefully?”
Carrie: “It got old.”

Carrie: I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. And I don’t think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.

Big: I have to hand it to you kid. Most people come to Paris to fall in love. You came and got slapped.

Smith: Hey, Babe, I flew back… Samantha: You flew all night? Why? Smith: I forgot to tell you something on the phone… I love you. Samantha: You flew back to tell me that? Smith: Can you think of a better reason? Samantha: No, I can’t. You have meant more to me than any man I have ever known.

Big: It took me a really long time to get here, but I’m here. Carrie, you’re the one.
Magda: What you did. That is love. You love.

Miranda: after giving Steve’s mother, who has had a stroke, a bath Let’s not make a big deal of it to Steve, it will upset him.

Charlotte: Harry, I’m a bad wife. I ordered Chinese. Harry: I got something from China, too. They’re giving us a baby. Charlotte: What? Harry: I guess God remembered our address.

(After Big went and got Carrie in paris, they returned to New York) Big: You know, I don’t live here anymore and the Four Season won’t check you in until one o’clock. Carrie: Oh, Did you wanna come up? Big: Abso-fucking-lutely!

However my all time ever favorite is Carrie defining her relationships – famously quoted below.

Carrie:(Last Line in the last ever tv series) Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.

I personally think this is well said!

For more of theses click the link below :
http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/celebrity/celebrity-galleries/2009/07/02/sex-and-the-city-quotes-carrie-sam-miranda-and-charlotte#!image-number=38