Tag Archives: Woman

School age debate.

School age debate.

I know this is a topic, often a spoken about, not always a positive topic, yet a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion on. So I thought that I would ‘chime in’ also as recently there was a ‘heated’ debate about it in the kindergarten playground.

I was faced with a confronting and unwelcome conversation last week by a woman that I don’t know. I was standing in the kindergarten playground chatting with other kindergarten mothers about nothing in particular when a mother that I had never met before starting making comments about our children.

See, we all have children who started kindergarten this year, and we also coincidentally have children that are turning 3 this year some boys, some girls. So when this woman passed comment that our ‘babies’ will also be going through school together, I said “that’s great will your daughter be going to kindergarten 2020?”. Not realising I had just unleashed her favourite topic!

She quickly responded with ‘no, my daughter is going 2021, why would you send your daughter early?, I mean sending a child too young has so many negative effects on them, why would you do that to her?”. I almost felt like I was being personally attacked, or that I was making a terrible decision and possibly ruining my dear daughters life.

I was taken aback – which rarely happens, and because of my silence, this woman thought it was her right to then lecture me on all the negative reasons as to why I should wait and send my daughter to kindergarten when she is 5 turning 6. You see, in her opinion sending my daughter 4 turning 5 in the May, is way too young and will undoubtedly end with teen pregnancy, under age drinking, lack of intelligence, slow learning, being left out of rep sporting teams, being easily influenced by others, difficulties with learning and socialising, and her extensive list went on. And on. And on. (Her words)

I was horrified at her response. I mean. This is the first time I’d ever met her. What a front she has to lecture anyone on their family decisions and what is best for someone else’s children. Too opinionated for my liking, that is for sure.

It really put me in a weird mindset, it made me question my husband and my decision and left me feeling quite angry and deflated. This was mind you, first thing in the morning so it played on my mind quite a lot that day. I spoke to a few friends throughout the day to vent and also get their opinions, of whom I value, and they, my friends much like myself, are of similar mindset with the school age decisions.

I also spoke to my little mans kindergarten teacher later that afternoon as this woman’s righteousness was confronting. I wanted to speak to a teacher who deals with children of varying ages on a daily basis and this teacher also, has over 13 years primary school teaching behind her. The kindergarten teacher is also of the same mindset as myself. That is, that each child is individual and ready at their own pace and in their own time.

I think I will have a better idea as to when we should start her in kindergarten once she starts preschool, however at the moment, my little miss who is not yet 3, knows her alphabet, can count to 20, dresses and undresses herself, copies and repeats her big brothers sight words, mock reads books, is extremely social, not shy, is really confident, will sit colour and draw by herself, can hold a pen or pencil with correct pen grip, will listen and take instruction and can sit through a whole movie, I think I will be ready but time will tell.

All kids are in my view, are individual and each to their own, however with this woman’s rant it got me thinking of all the negative effects that sending a child to school 5 turning 6 May encounter.

A few that really stand out to me are,
– Being an adult doing their HSC.
– Being 18, which is legal age to drink in Australia, which may mean the 18 year old who is still in high school, can and possibly will go out drinking. Is drinking whilst at school appropriate?
– Being older and holding a drivers license which at involve having other school children driving with them.
– Being older and influencing younger students mindsets.
– Wanting to ‘grow up’ too young.
– Will they get distracted or bored easily from being older?

Look, I get that this is a very personal topic, I think that either way, sending your child at 4 or 5, if you are raising your children in a way that you feel appropriate and comfortable with, your child will make the right decisions. They will know what is acceptable and hopefully make good decisions. It’s very individual based on each child differently.

I see valid points from both sides, however what I didn’t appreciate was being ‘force fed’ this woman’s opinion and how forthcoming she was with telling me how terrible I was as a parent for even considering sending my daughter to kindergarten at age 4 with her birthday in May.

What are your thoughts?

 

Don’t let a number defy you!

This is such a truthful, honest and aspiring read.

We are not defined by a number.

Beauty comes from within. As does self love, self respect and self worth.

Do not let scales or a number on a clothing tag defy your mindset.

Think positive thought’s and love the person you are. ❤

Thank you Kate at Wonder Woman Method for this beautiful post.

https://wonderwomanmethod.com/home/2017/1/17/kwf5hbiz8xpc34eut2c1dlcnk35xoi

Wonder Woman Method.

It’s not often I will endorse or help to promote a fitness or health plan. This is different though.

Kate is a wonderful woman who is a fellow mummy at my little guys preschool. Since getting to know her I have such admiration and respect for her and what she does. Not only is Kate a walking billboard for ‘Wonder Woman Method’ she is a qualified nutritionist, counsellor and health coach.

If you are struggling to kick some kilograms or just need a little support with your program, contact Kate. She is a wealth of knowledge and would be more than happy to help you get in your way to a healthier and happier you.

Have a look at her website, there is no harm in looking. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

https://wonderwomanmethod.com

Manipulation.

Manipulation and mind games.

So apparently all children can manipulate? I agree with this statement to an extent.

My little one certainly tries to manipulate me, he does this by being very cute, snugging up then asking me to play. Ok so this isn’t typical manipulation but it’s a form right?

This leads me to my next point. How many types of manipulation are there and what are they?

At what age do children start to manipulate?

Do they understand what they are doing? They may not know or understand the word, but I’m pretty damn sure a lot of children know what they are doing.

I know a lot of adults who manipulate on a regular basis, it often makes me wonder if they realise what they are doing, or are they simply that way inclined?

Is manipulation part if our personality?

Is it embedded in some of us?

Do these people enjoy manipulating?

Why do they feel they need to manipulate to get what they want?

Do that have that low of self esteem that they feel they have to manipulate?

Are they simply negative and nasty people who feel they deserve to be this way?

And my questions keep rolling…..

Manipulation is mainly know as ‘mind games’. These type of mind games I believe can be innocent or much more purposeful and deceiving. Most manipulation is used to ‘get what you want’ right? Why else would people play ‘mind games’?

As human beings, our emotions often take over our judgments therefore making it difficult for us to see the reality behind some certain hidden agendas or motives in different forms of behaviour. (Manipulation)

The controlling aspects or shrewdness can be linked to manipulation that are sometimes very subtle and may be easily overlooked, pushed aside, lost under feelings of obligation, love, or in fact our daily personal habits.

 
To understand the characteristics of a manipulative personality is not always easy as they may not always obvious. This can be because they play a silent game of building up obligations toward them. In the end it makes you feeling guilty, pressured, and obliged to carry out things for their sake even though you’re still wondering how things got to this point. How did they manage to get you to do this or behave that way?

I’ve found that the best way to judge a manipulative person is to observe their actions. Be a little patience with this and start with being polite and nice to them and saying thank you for letting me know this need to be done this way. Sooner you will come to know their reality. Actions speak louder than words.

Some manipulative people will guide people to do things in certain way. Telling them that doing do thing a particular way is for everyone’s good. In actual fact they don’t want to change themselves and want to stay in their own comfort zone. So these manipulative people will tell you stories about how someone else’s actions created problems for everyone. They might try scare tactics by also telling sad endings like he/she was asked to leave by everyone etc etc. Don’t fall victim to their stories. Just do what you think is right and essential. Of course considering others comfort also. But don’t sacrifice your rights and thoughts for them.

A martyr style personality behaves as if they are being considerate toward other people but is actually messing up considerateness with a need to be significant to you. By “martyring” themselves, they are doing things nobody has asked of them or wants them to do but in the process creates a ‘bind’ when they do them. In “doing you a favor”, their expectation increases that you have to return their favor. This type of person may also complain constantly about all the things they do for you and wonder rhetorically when you’re going to return this favor…

Excessively needy and dependent personalities tend to be people who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, this type of personality you will find often puts forward their own opinions and ideas which can quite often be hiding their manipulative behavior so that it seems as if you are responding on your own accord even though they’ve set up everything to have you respond directly to their neediness.

Narcissists. This is the archetypal manipulative personality and it’s very hard to deal with this master manipulator.

You. Seriously, at one time or other, every single one of us will practice manipulative behaviors in one form or other. It is just that for most people, manipulative actions tend to be one-off or only occasional instances rather than a purposeful map for daily living and interaction with others.

It’s interesting to note the possible types of ways in which people try to manipulate one another.

There are some key behaviors that can end up in manipulation, and it’s helpful to know how to spot them before walking right into them. Some are below.

The assumption statement – this manipulative tactic seeks to turn your behavior into what the beholder perceives it as, whether or not their interpretation is accurate. This soon leads to a guilt trip because no matter what happens, your rejection is proof of the assumption.

He said, she said – this manipulative ploy is pseudo-sociology in action. The manipulator takes it upon themselves to tell you what someone else said was the right thing to do. A third party perhaps your employer, partner or friend. It’s a handy way of pushing aside the responsibility from themselves while loading it all onto you.

The confronting statement is a manipulative approach set about to cause an argument. That way, the provoker will end up making you feel terrible over something you didn’t actually do or say but for which they believe you should feel guilty over anyway and they’ll get a huge chunk of sympathy from others with which they start to manipulate you all over again.

Self-pity manipulation, claiming to be unloved/sick/victimized, etc. At times each one of us has times when we’re really in need of some tender self-care but long-term manipulators can make a habit of being the victim or the one needing special attention. This often happens when you may be getting attention and they long for the attention. This can also be seen as ‘attention seeking’ quite often manipulators are also attention seekers.

The guilt trip – this manipulative behavior seeks to make you feel guilty and is aimed at sending you into the land of “should” rather than standing up for your own values.

Guilt trips are also really high on the list of manipulative personality tools. If you can get someone else to feel guilty, then you’re done! Only trouble is, people wear out after being made to suffer guilt trip after guilt trip and then the manipulator who thinks that he or she is on to a good thing here eventually will lose respect, friends, and will be distanced by those who can’t get away, such as family and co-workers. One of the key things to remember with ‘guilt trippers’ it’s hard to escape the guilt trip. The sooner you stop it the better, and that it’s their guilt trip, not yours.

No matter what age, we can all seem to ‘manipulate’ to some extent to get what we want at some point in our lives.

Fact is some people seem to do it more often to gain what they feel they deserve.

What are your thoughts on manipulation?

 

 

Do you have a fantasy?

Fantasies.

I’ve been reading a few books lately and they are mostly biographies however a couple have been fiction novels that have got me thinking.

A recent read is called ‘just one night’ by Kyra Davis. Kyra is a New York Times best selling author and this book certainly does not let her down.

It’s a great book about a women who has the successful corporate career, a long term boyfriend whom she believes she will marry and the ‘proper’ family whom have all the silver linings laid out for her. One night in Vegas with her best friend changes it all though.

The book goes into detail about fantasies and what is expected from certain people and families and what is and isn’t ‘appropriate’.

In one part of the book the lead character is speaking with her best friend about fantasises and the best friend describes why they are a fantasy and why not to act on fantasises, to keep them as a fantasy and the excitement of that to yourself. Sometimes when fantasy’s are played out the excitement isn’t quite the same.

Well different people will have different opinions on this but the book had me thinking about my fantasies and would I ever act on them?

Most fantasies are kept secret as the best friend in the novel suggests. Some are bought to life and some are keep deep inside of oneself.

Some may be sexual fantasies about tall, tanned, well built, defined, handsome men starring at you from across the bar, then slowly approaching you but never taking his almond shaped green eyes away from your’s, keeping the intensity and keeping you intrigued. His body is built like that of a professional athlete, strong, muscular and visible through his fitted business shirt. He finally riches your side and you know there are no words needed. You both know heard going to happen and neither of you want it to stop. The conversation is short, you reach for your clutch and follow him to get a taxi. He opens the door for you and no longer are you in the taxi but you are kissing each other passionately, like you have never felt such lust or want for anyone ever. Hands are fumbling, grabbing and pulling each other closer. You reach his place and make your way in….,

Or your fantasy could be about owning a wonderful home on the beach side. Having a fast car, fantasy zing about a wonderful office with water views…..

Whatever your fantasy they are neither wrong or right. We each have individual needs and wants it’s weather or not we choose to bring them to life that keeps them a fantasy or makes them real.
The encyclopaedia definition of fantasy is :

fantasy
ˈfantəsi,-zi/
noun
1.
the faculty or activity of imagining impossible or improbable things.
“his researches had moved into the realms of fantasy”
synonyms: imagination, creativity, fancy, invention, originality, vision, speculation, make-believe, daydreaming, reverie More
antonyms: truth, realism
a fanciful mental image, typically one on which a person often dwells and which reflects their conscious or unconscious wishes.
plural noun: fantasies
“the notion of being independent is a child’s ultimate fantasy”
synonyms: dream, daydream, pipe dream, flight of fancy, fanciful notion, wish, wishful thinking; More
an idea with no basis in reality.
“it is a misleading fantasy to suggest that the bill can be implemented”
a genre of imaginative fiction involving magic and adventure, especially in a setting other than the real world.
synonyms: myth, legend, fable, fairy tale, romance;
More
antonyms: realism
2.
a fantasia.
verbliterary
verb: fantasy; 3rd person present: fantasies; past tense: fantasied; past participle: fantasied; gerund or present participle: fantasying
1.
imagine the occurrence of; fantasize about.
“it is ludicrous to fantasy ‘disinventing’ the hydrogen bomb”

So I ask, do you have fantasy?

Are they a little ‘taboo’?

Would you act on them?

Drop me an email –

Noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Read more about this novel below.

http://www.kyradavis.com/p/just-one-night-series.html?m=1

Super for women = super woman

Super for women = super women!

So we all know that when a woman stops working for an employer they no longer have paid superannuation right? So when we retire – which we never actually do as we are always still working around the house or looking after children and our loved ones it’s still working, however not paid with money. What do we use as our nest egg?

So many articles of late have bought up this very topic and so I thought I’d share a few tips that I have been doing to help me upon retirement.

1. Put a little away each week into your super account. I don’t earn a lot so can’t really afford to put much away however even though my employer puts my superannuation into my account quarterly, each week I have $20 of my own money go into the same super account. It isn’t much but when I retire it will all add up, every little bit helps!

2. Commissions – again when I make commissions (I work in a sales role) I transfer these into my superannuation account.

3. Gifts – if you are given money – sometimes my family give me birthday money and although it’s rally toying to go buy that dress that you love and think you need – perhaps use the money towards your superannuation. Or if you can’t bear to not spoilt yourself a little – let’s face if we all love gifts and new things 🙂 maybe put $20 in the super and use the rest to get yourself a little something.

4. Sell your unwanted items – perhaps you have a wardrobe of clothes that you just can’t fit into or they are no longer your style? Or maybe you have baby things that are no longer of use? Sell them! I know the thought of selling your belongings can seem overwhelming, but I promise you it’s not hard.

There are so many different selling options out there. Garage sale, eBay, gumtree, local markets and boot sales. All these unwanted items – turn them into cash. Then bank it! Put it in your superannuation.

We all know superannuation accounts are different. Mine is a good one with small annual fees and quite safe – how I like it. I like the thought of paying minimal but still making a return. It may not be a huge fast return but hey – I’m only 33 and not ready to retire yet!

Find the right super find that suits your needs and remember, adding a little extra now will only benefit you in the long term! Happy retirement!

One for those non mummy’s.

So I have a friend who recently started to read my blog.

She isn’t a mummy so when we caught up she asked me to write about other things that don’t necessarily have anything to do with being a mum! I asked her what would she like me to write about and her response was ‘Michelle Bridges it up’ hehe

Well this one is for you.

You know who you are 🙂

For those of you who are not sure who Michelle Bridges is. Michelle is a fabulous Australian personal trainer. She is a wonderful role model as she isn’t super skinny, yet has a great strong beautiful fit body.

Michelle has been a trainer for many years and has a great brand with many sub factors all relating to fitness. She has a 12 week body challenge which I know has been successful as I have had various friends follow and loose wright successfully.

She has a clothing range based on work out gear / active wear that is not just for the gym but super comfy, super affordable and easy to wear to the gym or as every day wear.

She has many published recipe books. Full of easy, healthy, affordable recipes that also taste good. Not like some low fat, calorie controlled recipes that taste like cardboard. She also is an author of an autobiography.

Michelle is one of the top trainers on Australia’s biggest looser tv series.

With all this proven success you should check out her website.

https://michellebridges.com.au

One of my favorite recipes from one of her fabulous recipe books is –

Shakshuka

4 large ripe tomatoes or 410g can chopped tomatoes

1 tbsp olive oil

¼ brown onion, diced

1 small jalapeño chilli, sliced

½ small green capsicum

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp ground cumin

salt and pepper, to taste

2 free-range eggs

1 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped

If using fresh tomatoes, blanch them for 3 minutes, then peel, seed and chop them, and set aside. Over a medium flame, heat oil in skillet, add onion and cook until transparent. Add chilli and green capsicum, and cook for 4 minutes. Add tomatoes, paprika and cumin, and cook for 5 minutes, allowing mixture to reduce. Add salt and pepper to taste. Make 2 small depressions in mixture and crack eggs into them. Cover and cook until eggs are done. Sprinkle over parsley and serve in skillet.

SERVES 2

Otherwise click on the below link for some more quick and easy recipes by Australia’s fitness guru!

http://m.dailylife.com.au/photogallery/health-and-fitness/dl-nutrition/michelle-bridges-best-healthy-recipes-20121114-29bgn.html

An easy effective quick workout Michelle recommends is Circuit training at home!

Michelle Bridges’ ultimate at-home workout in 6 easy exercises!

Gymnastic rolls
1. Lie on the floor with your arms stretched above your head, holding yourself stiff and strong.
2. Take one full roll over to the right. When you’re facing up again, keeping legs and arms stiff, lift both legs and both arms upwards and try to touch your toes.
3. Swiftly flatten out, hold strong and roll back to the left and repeat.
GOOD FORM
The more you can hold yourself stiff and strong, the smoother you’ll find the move becomes.

Basketball jumps
1. Take a low, long step sideways to the right, bending through your legs, keeping your knees aligned with your toes.
2. As you step your left foot in to meet the right, spring off both feet, taking a jump into the air and taking a basketball shot at the same time.
3. Repeat on the other side. When you step out to the side, be sure to swing your arms out wide as you go low, then scoop them up to go upwards for the shot.
GOOD FORM
The lower you go the higher you jump.

Walking push-ups
1. Start in a normal push-up position – hands slightly wider than shoulders, shoulders back, long spine and neck, chin pulled in, core drawn in.
2. Perform one repetition then “walk” or “cross” your right hand over your left, then step your left hand out to the side and perform another push-up.
3. Now “walk” yourself back and repeat. Do as many as you can on your toes then drop to your knees.

Turkish get-ups
1. Start by lying face-up on the floor, holding a dumbbell straight out in front of you.
2. Now begin to get yourself up off the floor without allowing the dumbbell to move from above your head.
3. Get all the way up to standing and then lower yourself back down to the start without allowing the dumbbell to drop.
GOOD FORM
These take practise and require technique, so take your time. If you’re doing time-based training, try doing 5 with your right arm up and then 5 with your left arm up; keep going till your time is up. To make these even harder, try holding a 1kg dumbbell in your hand.

Plyo lunges
1. Standing with feet hip-width apart, draw your core inwards and lift your chest, shoulders back and down.
2. Spring upwards, splitting your legs to land in a lunge position, with your front knee directly above your ankle, not pushing forward over your foot. Use your arms as you would when running – opposite arm to leg – to help engage this dynamic movement.
3. Land with both legs bent at 90 degree angles then push up into a jump, swap legs and land back into lunge position. This movement should be swift and powerful.
GOOD FORM
Always be sure you’re jumping upwards rather than pushing forwards when you move.

Ice skaters
1. Start with your body weight on your right leg and your left foot poised behind right leg, ready to jump across. Be sure to have the grounded foot slightly angled out with knee aligned with toes.
2. Explosively jump to the left, aiming for maximum distance. Use your arms to help propel you across by swinging them in the same direction.
3. Land softly on left foot, knee and toes aligned, sink into the leg then explode off the leg back to the right side
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/womens-health/fitness/galleries/photo/-/12703456/michelle-bridges-ultimate-at-home-workout/12703527/