Tag Archives: Tantrums

The almost 4 year old and her tantrums.

My dear daughter is 4 in a couple of months. We are deep in throwing tantrums over to most, what would seem like ‘nothing important’.

To her, she has all these ‘BIG’ feelings and is struggling to express herself with words.

Tantrums can be exhausting and frustrating to any parent. But ask yourself, how would you explain your feelings if your vocabulary was limited and your brain was overcome and overwhelmed with different feelings and thoughts?

This is a typical day for a developing child. They have limited vocabulary. Struggle with day to day feelings and the smallest things to them can feel like it’s the biggest thing in their world.

Welcome to 3-4 year olds.

For example, yesterday my almost 4 year old had 2 tantrums within perhaps 20 minutes of each other. The first was because her 6yo brother was watching something that she didn’t want to, and instead of her watching it in another room. Miss decided to scream, stamp her feet and yell all kinds of things because ABC kids was not playing.

After we dealt with that in a calming manner, explaining to her that there is another TV that we could put that channel on for her to watch, she decided to calm her ‘Big’ and ‘important’ feelings.

The second tantrum was because she wanted avocado toast just as we were about to leave for her brothers martial arts class. As I explained to her that she can have it once we get back, that was not a good enough answer for her and she proceeded to sit in the pantry and pull out all boxed items, creating a ‘wall’ so that I could not see her. All whilst screaming at me to stop talking to her.

With this I walked away and let her calm down and within a few minutes it’s, she came over to apologise.

These are only a few examples of what we have been experiencing over the past few months. Prior to this, my little miss almost 4, has been quite well behaved and mannered.

I don’t remember my 6 year old boy behaving this way at her age.
Is it a girl thing?
Is it a second child thing?
Or is it simply because my two children are different people?
It could very well be a combination of all of the above, but in any case, I’m hoping that these tantrums start to dissolve soon.

Below is a link that I have found quite helpful.
Hopefully you will also.

Just remember, breathe and know, this is just a phase. You will survive, and you will both thrive from these ‘adventures’.

http://www.essentialkids.com.au/development-advice/development/four-challenges-of-parenting-a-fouryearold-20130402-2h5t9

Dealing with a fussy toddler.

So my 17 month old little man has just decided that everything I put in front of him is ‘yuk’ – his words not mine. I’ve tried many recipes that I think he would like but unless he is feeding himself, and let’s face it, messy and takes double the time. It’s all a little bit frustrating. For us both.

I’ve signed up for many newsletters that help with such toddler issues.

A great one that I recently receivEd was from Baby Bliss.

This website has sooo much helpful information on EVERYTHING to do with being a mummy.

The most recent article that I have read from Baby Bliss I’ve pasted below. I hope it’s as informative for you as it has been for me.

Toddlers: Eating, sleeping and Dealing with the NOs

by  on April 15, 2014 in Parenting SeminarsSiblingsToddlers
By nature toddlers are inquisitive, active and designed to push back. They are exploring their world and this can be exciting and frightening to them. We need to support and guide them through this time with effective methods of setting boundaries and discipline while allowing them to develop a sense of themselves.Sleeping

Toddlers can become tricky at bedtime as they can have some increased separation anxiety. They may ask for you to stay with them when falling asleep and then when they wake overnight. Things you can do to change this (if you want to!):

  • Ensure you have a ritual around bedtime
  • Toddlers need lots of good deep sleep so they need to be asleep by 7/7.30pm at the latest.
  • Rather than sit with them till they are asleep go in and out reassuring them that you will be back.
  • Use a night light.
  • Give your toddler a comforter and include that in the bedtime ritual.
  • Use a clock for those toddlers who rise early.
  • Use a reward chart (for 3 year olds and above) to change behaviour but you must be consistent with it.

Eating

Meal times can become a battle ground with toddlers as they start to decide what they do and don’t like. Try not to fight or turn it into a huge production. Remember toddlers are on the go, go, go all the time and so they can eat on the run. They also can eat non-stop one day and then nothing the next. That is normal. Trust that they will know what they need.

  • Keep mealtimes to 30 minutes
  • Don’t offer too much choice as your child will be confused.
  • Ensure they know that this is all there is once the meal is served.
  • Don’t make dessert a reward; it should just be part of the meal.
  • Vegetables should be on the plate every day.
  • Ask that they taste new foods, just once.
  • Try and make mealtimes before your child gets too tired.

Managing Toddler Behaviour

Toddlers can be tricky. It can be the age of tantrums and telling you, “NO!” Try not to take this behaviour personally – you child is discovering themselves as little individuals and testing out ways of being independent from you.

A few little tips can help you navigate through this phase but remember it is okay to say NO to them and it is okay for them to not like you, for that moment!

  • Always use positive language when you’re asking them not to do something this puts the focus on what you DO want them to do and takes the focus off the thing that you don’t want them to do.
  • ‘No’ is an overused word that doesn’t give the child much information. It’s better to tell them what you do want to do, or if there is immediate danger, a better word is “stop” because it gives them information about what you want them to do.
  • Always speak calmly to your child when correcting them or asking them to do something. This shows them you are in-charge and confidant.
  • Try not to lecture – you child will switch-off after the first minute. Be matter-of-fact: “I won’t let you do that. If you throw that again I will take it away”
  • Natural consequences: A toddler learns discipline best when he experiences natural consequences for his behaviour, rather than a disconnected punishment like time-out. If a child throws food, mealtime is over. If a child refuses to get dressed, we don’t go to the park today. These parental responses appeal to your child’s sense of fairness.
  • Personally, I think that smacking is counterproductive because it teaches children that hitting is ok, particularly if you’re angry, and that if you’re bigger and stronger, then you can use force to solve a problem. At the end of the day, we want our kids to use alternative strategies when they have a problem and so we need to model this for them.

 Your children will become who you are, so be who you want them to be.

for other articles like this head to www.babybliss.com.au