Tag Archives: success

Defining success

Defining success

How do you define your success?

Success can be measured on many levels and depending on your personality, I believe success is also measured by what you personally feel is important to you and makes you feel successful.

I personally measure my success on my happiness and my little family. Including my husband, little man and soon to be little princess.

I am happy in my life, I may not have much but seeing my little guys smile each and every day lightens my world.

Also having a supportive husband who appreciates me being home and being the ‘keeper of the house’ and ‘stay at home mum’ is important to me. I would struggle if I had to leave my little man each and every day. I love being hands on with him and being able to watch him explore and grow each and every day.

I know many people who measure their happiness on other things. These things can include –

Money / wealth
How much they earn, if they are not earning a certain annual amount they don’t feel successful. Recently a comment was passed at my husband towards his salary and that it wasn’t in the ‘commenters’ eyes, a passable salary. The persons comment basically insinuated that what my husband earns is pittance and therefore he isn’t successful. I personally find this shallow but again each person measures success differently.

Happiness
I measure my success on how happy my family are and as long as we have each other, I feel successful and complete.

Assets
I have always said to my husband that I could live in a shoe box as long as I had him and my little man. I don’t need fancy cars or fancy clothes or a big home to feel successful. Again many people do feel that the bigger the home or fancier car they have or perhaps living in a particular suburb – the more successful they feel. We do live in a material world but it’s sad that some peoples mindset is that unless they have the big home they are not as worthy as the next person.

Family
Along with happiness my success is family orientated. I don’t need my family to be successful financially. As long as they are happy I feel happy. I personally don’t believe that you need a successful family to be successful yourself. Your parents money or family money doesn’t make you a better person nor does it make you more successful, I believe in working hard yourself and achieving things for yourself makes you more appreciative.

Materialistic belongings
Living in SYDNEY, a lot of people are designer obsessed and feel they need certain designer pieces to feel successful. Spending thousands of dollars on a particular item to make them feel good about themselves or boost their personal confidence is fine, however having materialist items does not make you a good person. I know this person who is always in designer things and frowns upon chain store clothing. They wear lots of designer jewellery and pass comments on the size of others engagement rings etc. I find this shallow and feel these people have insecurities which is why they measure their success on materialistic belongings. Just because you don’t have a 10 carat diamond ring doesn’t mean that you don’t have a 10 carat heart.

I believe that being a good person is so much more than being focussed on assets, finances and material belongings.

You can’t take your diamond rings and fancy cars with you when you die right?

What I’m not saying is – don’t strive to be successful but measure your successes by things that are worthy.

If you feel you need the big salary to feel competent, or the fast car or latest designer thing. Sure go get those. However I think that you can also measure your success if you are humble and happy in other things.

Majority of the world live in poverty and are happy. They base their successes on other things that the fortunate don’t always understand.

The Wife Drought.

The wife drought!

So for Christmas my husband bought me this book, The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb. At first I was a little taken aback but then read the introduction only to realise it wasn’t an insult as Id originally thought but in fact a compliment.

As most of my readers are aware I gave up my corporate role in April 2014 to be a full time mother to my adorable 2year old and also help with the running around if my husbands 12 year old. We are also expecting bub number 2 in May 2015.

I originally struggled with this as it was not only a shock to my system of loosing my financial independence but also taking on all the household duties which were once shared. Gradually I’m learning more about myself and although I absolutely love my little guy more than anything, I sometimes think about returning to work again and having him in care, however no disrespect to anyone with children in care, I find myself struggling with the thought of having someone else look after him. – another issue I need to deal with in my own head πŸ™‚ and so my conundrum continues.

This book is a great read about ‘wives’ not nessasarily being women but being people who stay at home and run the house or work part time in order to run the house which includes everything from cooking, cleaning, washing, school runs, homework, waiting on the plumber, raising children, after school activities and much more.

It also goes into detail about how many successful men including CEO’s have ‘wives’ which allows them to work late unexpectedly, travel when required, have the ability to sit quietly and read the morning paper without disturbance as they are generally on their way to work in the peace and quite of public transport or perhaps have gone into the office early. They have been able to enjoy a meal without disruption and being able to eat with both hands and not having being pulled in multiple directions or been vomited upon.

Again not that I would change my situation but I sometimes envy a 30minute ‘break’ time to myself to go to the toilet alone, or shower alone, gosh I can’t remember the last time that happened?

So this book puts things into perspective. It states that 1 in 4 women with children under the age of 15 do not work full time. 76% of working men have stay at home ‘wives’ to run the household that allows them the freedom of working late, gym sessions, work travel, unexpected business meetings and come home to a clean house of well respected, well mannered, polite, clean children ready for bed with the wife waiting all day for the plumber or phone guy in between collecting mail, doing washing or groceries and all before the 2:45pm school pick up which leads to after school sports and other activities.

To me it’s saying that men wouldn’t be as successful if women worked as much as men and that most men wouldn’t cope with being the stay at home parent raising children and doing household jobs like women do.

Take a read of the random house review then perhaps grab yourself a copy!

‘I need a wife’

It’s a common joke among women juggling work and family. But it’s not actually a joke. Having a spouse who takes care of things at home is a Godsend on the domestic front. It’s a potent economic asset on the work front. And it’s an advantage enjoyed – even in our modern society – by vastly more men than women.

Working women are in an advanced, sustained, and chronically under-reported state of wife drought, and there is no sign of rain.

But why is the work-and-family debate always about women? Why don’t men get the same flexibility that women do? In our fixation on the barriers that face women on the way into the workplace, do we forget about the barriers that – for men – still block the exits?

The Wife Drought is about women, men, family and work. Written in Annabel Crabb’s inimitable style, it’s full of candid and funny stories from the author’s work in and around politics and the media, historical nuggets about the role of β€˜The Wife’ in Australia, and intriguing research about the attitudes that pulse beneath the surface of egalitarian Australia.

Crabb’s call is for a ceasefire in the gender wars. Rather than a shout of rage, The Wife Drought is the thoughtful, engaging catalyst for a conversation that’s long overdue.

– See more at: http://www.randomhouse.com.au/books/annabel-crabb/the-wife-drought-9780857984265.aspx#sthash.kaNA8q4b.dpuf