Tag Archives: social media

Should we ban smart devices?

What are your thoughts?

I agree, young children and teenagers alike are using their start phones much more than they possibly need too.

There is always a lot of social media involved and gaming.

I know a few ‘tweens’ and teenagers, whom have become recluse, less social, lack conversational skills and basic respect for their surroundings including other people.

Adults, I know are also prone to become ‘addicted’, for lack of a better descriptive word. They have their heads in their smart phones, checking emails, social media, gaming and having conversations via messages rather than actually interacting with others.

This starts from a very young age and can be addictive from a very young age.

For me it goes beyond and should also be monitored at home, with parents and care takers, limiting access to these devices.

These devices interfere with sleep, they interfere with social behaviours and are now having repercussions on younger generations leaving them with less ability to communicate with each other.

I know parents who allow their 5 year olds to go to bed playing games or watching a movie on their iPads.

I know teenagers who ‘snap chat’ or check social media accounts all night. Maybe they fear ‘missing out’ on a status update?

Society is fast becoming obsessed with smart devices.

What future will our children have if they are too busy watching smart devices rather than having normal conversations?

Language and Grammer are suffering with children not having confidence in speaking clearing or being confident in their ability to communicate.

Are these devices doing more harm than good?

What are you thoughts?

Ban phones from school?

https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/schools-need-to-react-quickly-education-expert-urges-smartphone-ban-20180525-p4zhm4.html

Suicide.

Suicide.

– yes such a confronting word, however more confronting is the statistics associated with this word.

Did you know, In 2016, the suicide rate in Australia was 11.7 deaths per 100,000 people, up from 10.6 per 100,000 people in 2007. … In 2016, the standardised death rate for males was 17.8 deaths per 100,000 people, while for females it was 5.8 deaths per 100,000 people.

That’s more than eight people every single day. One person every three hours.
That’s quite a large number wouldn’t you agree?

So why is the suicide rate rising?

Suicide is a prominent concern. Over a five year period from 2012 to 2016, the average number of suicide deaths per year was 2,795.

Suicide rates reduced across many age groups, including a moderate reduction in suicide rates for males in the high risk age groups of 35-49 years. There were modest increases from 2015 to 2016 in suicide rates for other age groups however, including males 15-24 years and females 20-34 years.

For males: The highest age-specific suicide number in 2016 was observed in the 85+ age group (34.0 per 100,000) with 61 deaths. This number was considerably higher than the age-specific suicides observed in all other age groups, with the next highest age-specific suicide rates being in the 30-34, 40-44 and 35-39 year age groups (27.5, 27.2 and 24.8 per 100,000 respectively). Those of a younger age were associated with the lowest age-specific rates (0-14 year age group: 0.4per 100,000; 15-19 year age group: 13.4 per 100,000).

For females: The highest age-specific suicide in 2016 was observed in the 50-54 age group with 82 deaths (10.4 per 100,000), followed by the 40-44, 45-49 and 30-34 age groups (8.5, 8.3 and 8.3 per 100,000 respectively).

The lowest age-specific suicide for females was observed in the 0-14 age group with 7 deaths (0.3 per 100,000) followed by those aged between 65-69 and then 15-19 age group (4.1 and 5.0 100,000 respectively).

Social media can have either negative or positive effects, Tom Simon, an author of the report and associate director for science in the division of violence protection at the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported.

Cyberbullying and harmful content might push a vulnerable teen toward self-harm, yet “social media can help increase connections between people, and it’s an opportunity to correct myths about suicide and to allow people to access prevention resources and materials.”
Dorian A. Lamis, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University School of Medicine/Grady Health System, theorized that use of social media and cyberbullying may affect teenage girls more than boys, resulting in rising suicide deaths among older teen girls.

“Some research has suggested that the timing of puberty in girls is a contributing factor for the increased suicide rate,” has also been reported. Puberty starts as early as 8 in some girls. The psychosocial and physical changes may leave girls “vulnerable to depression, anxiety and other psychiatric disorders earlier on in life.” These known risk factors for suicide may catch up with a girl as she grows older.

There is not one factor that is a cause for suicide. It is not a weakness nor is it because of mental health.

Suicide affects many people and it is sometimes seen as selfish but no one should be judging because it has many repercussions.

Sometimes suicide is a result of bullying or seen as a way for the person committing suicide to get away from a certain situation an escape if you may like to think of it that way. They may be feeling isolated, scared, weak, alone, unhappy, stressed, fearful or overwhelmed. There are no exact reasons as to why someone may contemplate suicide. It’s their decision and we unfortunately on most occasions cannot change it.

No one should ‘chime in’ on negativity about suicide, no one knows what the person has been though, is experiencing or dealing with.

What we do know is that the rate in which suicide is rising, is concerning. Unfortunately the above statistics are not current, and suicide is not often spoken about. There should be no embarrassment associated with the word. We should be more aware of circumstances and situations where our friends, family and loved ones may need us.

In today’s society, we all seem quite wrapped up in our own worlds. Disconnected some may say or selfish to our surroundings. I believe that we need to be more aware and connected with those closest to us. Take not of Friends and family behaviour. Offer to listen to those whom may need to talk. Often people will bottle up their thoughts and feelings in fear of judgment.

Who are we to judge?

One persons situation may change, just by having a listening ear. Or a hand to hold, or comfort in knowing that they are valued and not alone.

There is help if you need it.

Lifeline within Australia 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/about-lifeline/contact-us

Wesley Mission Australia
https://www.wesleymission.org.au/find-a-service/mental-health-and-hospitals/counselling/lifeline-sydney-and-sutherland/

Or if you would like to email me confidentially, my email is – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Remember ‘Every Life Matters’.

It doesn’t take much to ask ‘Are you ok?’
Or
‘How are you?’ These 2 questions may just change someone’s feelings and life.

Etiquette and Manners.

Etiquette and Manners.

Of late I have been disappointed with people’s values and basic lack of manners. I may be ‘old school’ when it comes to these particular values, however, I think small gestures never go unnoticed.

It got me thinking about how society has changed, and I don’t think it is for the better.

I’m one of those people, who if is invited somewhere, will always follow up with a thank you afterward. I will always say thank you in person, but then I follow up with either an email, text message or post a card. I think it’s a small gesture that shows how appreciative you are.

As with birthdays. I think that it’s polite to send a birthday message to those who you are close with, that are celebrating. It takes only a few seconds if not a minute, to send a message to let someone know that your thinking of them. Guaranteed it will not disappoint the receiver.

I think in today’s society, people consume themselves in various things which makes them appear ‘busy’. I think it takes only minimal time to acknowledge someone, and that small gesture may mean something bigger to the receiver.

Prime example, for me, when someone sends me a text message or email, I try my earnest to respond within a 12 hour period. I personally think it’s rude to leave it a few days to respond. Unless of course, that person is not important to you and adds no value in your life. Let’s face it, we all get busy but it takes no time to answer somebody’s communication.

Call me old fashioned, but I think in today’s world, people have become stuck in their own worlds / ruts. Which they believe revolves around them.

I try to make everyone feel important and included. I think there is nothing worse, than bad manners or bad etiquette.

One of my pet hates is lateness. I try to be punctual on all occasions, however if traffic is bad and I’m running late, I will always contact where I am going and apologies for my lateness. I think it’s polite to be early or at least on time. I understand things happen, but if we time manage appropriately, there is not really many reasons for not being punctual.

Another is bad table manners. When someone is eating and on their phone at the same time at the dinner table. I find it extremely rude. Even if at home or in a public space. I never have my phone on the table. I see so many people sitting at tables eating with others yet still on their devices, be it checking emails, playing a game or on social media. I think it’s important to take a break. Eat your food. Enjoy your food. Have a conversation with your peers and be polite. Again I get people are short on time, but is society really becoming so self absorbed?

If I’m on public transport, I will always stand for someone less able than I am or someone older. I think it’s basic manners. I remember being heavily pregnant with my first child. I was still working full time and commuting an hour each way to work. I remember getting on the bus at 5:40pm after I’d finished work and the bus was full. Ii was a 50 degree day in November, I was standing, my feet swollen and my body aching. Not 1 person offered me to sit. The bus was full of people that were mainly school aged, my guess would have been mid to late teenager years.

Now again, I may be delusional in my thinking that behaviour like that is rude, but I think as bought up to offer my seat to older people, pregnant women or those less abled. I’d be horrified if my child was that blatantly rude to anyone.

I know pregnancy doesn’t make me less abled. I possibly would not have taken the seat, however the polite thing would have been for one if the teenagers who seemed very abled, to offer s seat. They all looked at me and most were playing in their electronic devices and chatting and laughing quite loudly.

I don’t think it takes a lot to be polite to others. I don’t believe people are that busy. I think it’s blatantly rude and lacks manners to behave in these particular ways.

What do you think?

Do you think basic manners have been lost?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

Friendships and Social Media.

When social media overtakes friendships.

I recently had an emotional week where I found myself questioning many aspects of my life. Toying with the idea of starting a business and also had a few events happen that have made me question certain friendships.

I’m quite open with my feelings and some would say that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I had a very dear friend sit me down and give me a reality check, which I must say was much needed.

We were chatting about certain things that had upset me and her honesty was exactly what I needed. She said that I do share a lot on my facebook and instagram pages about what I’m up to and things I’m doing with my two little ones. Her suggestion was to stop. She said I’m too open and that may make people feel as though they don’t need to contact me. They already see it posted, so why the need to contact me?

This gorgeous friend also said that I put too much effort into a lot of my friendships and I should hold myself back. I interpreted that as I may be a ‘needy’ friend but she assured me that’s not what she meant.

She said that I’m the thoughtful one who contacts my friends to ‘check in’ basically. Ask them how they are doing, what they have been up to, and of course, it’s me organising a catch up. My dear friend suggested that I stop doing this also. She said that people just wait for my contact and feel they do not need to contact me or ask how I’m doing as they assume that I will contact them, or they will see on my social media what I’m up to which then allows them to not ‘have’ to contact me. She said many of my friendships are one way. Me putting the effort in and them just taking and not making any effort with or for me.

My feelings were hurt but it made perfect sense. She said that this will show me who actually is a true friend by those who take the time to contact me.

It made me realise, that perhaps social media does allow friends to drift apart?

If it’s all out there to see, why should you contact anyone to see how they are?

I’m an old fashioned person. I like to hear in my friends voices that they are ok. I like to physically see them, have the interaction with them and know that they are ok.

Maybe I’m just a weirdo? Is this weird?

I’ve had a few situations arise where I have been excluded and it has hurt my feelings. Maybe I should just get over it, but then again, why can’t I feel hurt by being excluded? I’ve seen things posted on social media that I was not invited too (not that I need to be included in everything) but certain occasions it’s nice to feel included.

I know that people and friendships change. Gosh I’ve experienced this first hand. When we moved out of our ‘area’ and into a new suburb 45 minutes away, I knew that it would show who I would keep as part of my life and who would no longer need my friendship.

That of course hurt.

I’m the friend who travels to the kids birthday parties in peak hour that are hours away, but I don’t get that in return. I’m the friend who drives an hour to help you settle your newborn baby with my newborn baby on board as you are struggling. I’m the friend who is there at who cares what hour, to listen to your word and comfort you when you feel like your works is about to end. And I’m the friend who offers to look after your toddler and give you rest as you are not feeling well or have morning sickness.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world as I know, that I’ve helped my friends when they have needed to rely on me.

I’ve had friends say 45mins is too far to drive to my daughters 1st birthday party, I’ve had friends cancel on me last minute. I’ve had friends organise outings with mutual friends but deliberately exclude me. It’s those friends who don’t return calls, or texts, or blatantly ignore you, that have hurt me. I’ve felt excluded from many situations. I’m the one who drives the distance with 2 little ones in toe, to visit my friends. Those who are important to me. I make the effort. Is effort to much to ask these days?

So are they friends or are they acquaintances?
Or are they just people who were once part of my life?

I’m trying to understand why some people treat others so distant when they are happy to receive but not put out?

Why are some friendships so one sided?

As I get older and after a few reality checks by my honest and true friends, I’m realising that those who I have called dear friends, are not actually that.

And it hurts, but as the old saying goes, it’s not the quantity but the quality.

I have a handful of good and honest friends who do spontaneously contact me. Just to see how I am, and they don’t want or need anything but to see how I am feeling.

For this I am grateful.

So for the next few months, I will be pulling back. I won’t be posting anything about where I am or what I’m up to. I also won’t go out of my way to contact ‘friends’. This will be my test, to see who actually does care enough about me to contact me. Who thinks about me?

It may be an even harsher reality check for me, but it will definitely show me those who I mean anything to and those who I no longer need to feel that I should be contacting or making an effort for.

Maybe social media does take over our lives?
Maybe I do post too much.

Let’s see how this plays out.

Stay tuned….

Social media.

Social media.

I was recently chatting with a friend who said she is never on social media, that she has no time to get on and browse what everybody is up to, nor does it interest her to ‘stalk’ her friends.

Now I’m the first to admit I perhaps check Instagram a little too often and although I’m not a ‘stalker’ I enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to. I no longer live within close proximity to them and enjoy seeing their children’s photos of them changing and growing up. It somehow makes me feel like I am still part of it.

I also post quite a bit, especially photos of my 2 little ones – the absolute loves of my life and I’m extremely proud of them and bring their mummy. You can call it baby spam if you like however as I just said, I no longer live close to family or a lot of my friends so by me posting photos, they too can see my little ones growing and changing and can catch up on what we have been up to.

Now I know to some this may seem weird, or an invasion of privacy or something, however I dont post ‘nude’ or inappropriate images. I always make sure my children are clothed, as with myself and also ensure that the photos are not offensive.

What I find amusing though, is those people who ‘claim’ to never be on social media or don’t have time yet still find the time to ‘like’ a photo or pass comment in a social gathering about something that the saw on social media.

Is this a form of stalking? Secretly checking but in denial?

Is it that they think they are ‘better’ than social media?

Perhaps they don’t know how to use it properly?

Or maybe they are the type of person who is secretly bored with their own life, won’t admit it, but need to see what everyone else is doing but keep it to themselves?

It makes me question though, why are you not admitting to being on social media?

If your using it what is there to hide? So many people are on social media. Should we be embarrassed about it or are these people just pretending that their lives are so busy and fulfilled without it?

Do you use social media?

If so why type of social media do you use?

Instagram
Facebook
Twitter
Snap chat
Linked in
What’s App
Messenger
Blogs – Do you read blogs?

And the list goes on!

These are all forms of social media. In today’s society I think almost everyone has some sort of social media account right?

The world and society have so much to do with social media and its growth is only expanding. Companies advertise with social media, people communicate with social media and it’s also a way of connecting with new and old friends. Corporates also use social media to put updates out there, keep in touch with their clientele and ‘tweet’ news and events.

Why is this so bad?

Advertising on billboards and on hard copy such as newspapers, magazines and flyers can also be quite expensive. I supposed this is why most people and companies are turning to online?

Remember online dating is also social media! So many people in society these days use apps like tinder and match maker.com. Not saying this is a bad thing but what happened to actually meeting someone spontaneous at a bar or park or the gym or somewhere ‘common’?

What is now classified ‘common’?

What is now classified ‘normal’?

How do people that don’t use social media communicate?

Yes there are still some people who chat and phone each other however there are also many who rely on social media to communicate.

What did we used to do prior to social media? Actually sit, chat and enjoy each other’s company?

I’ve seen school ages children actually sitting next to each other and sending ‘snap chat’ messages or text each other. I found it weird. Maybe it’s my age? Am I no longer ‘cool’ or ‘with it’?

Social media has vast become such a huge thing within this day and age.

Do you think it’s a good thing or a hinderance?

Playground correctness

I just read this blog on how parents are worried about the perception from their peers about their parenting.

Fear of judgement in what they believe is good or bad parenting.

It got me thinking. So many parents mostly mothers are so worried about being judged for their parenting style or in some cases ‘lack there off’.

Some parents are helicopter parents and don’t allow their children the opportunity to make mishaps. Constantly hovering to correct the child prior to making a mishap. How can they learn if they don’t experience?

This story speaks about mothers who correct the way their children play. Not allowing them to play in dirt or throw sand or even get dirty.

I agree with the writer here. What happened to allowing our children to play and interact with others at playgrounds and parks without interfering?

Yes I believe a parent should step up and observe their child’s play tactics / antics however I also think that children should be allowed to be children and find their own boundaries. Of course to an extent without harming another.

I’m not a believer of taking your child to the park to play so that you can sit with your phone and get on social media. I think it’s very important to play and interact with your child / children however allow them to grow an be children. Remember they are only children for a short time. Let them enjoy their childhood.

I have been the mother that people snarl at or look down upon. I have a 2.5 year old boy who can be quite boisterous. He plays with dirt and uses sticks as swords and can be a little rough at times but i absolutely step in and discipline him if he decides to get too rough or if I see him beginning to get ‘too much’.

I get judged constantly but I’m used to it.

I’m also the mother who apologies to children and their parents if my child hurts or is mean to another and I do also make my child apologise. Perhaps this could be looked at from many perspectives, I could be seen as the ‘don’t care mother’ who allows their child to play freely and use their imagination and interact with the possibility of rough play or I could be seen as the mother of the ‘naughty child’.

Either way, people will always judge, they will always stare and most people will have something to say about another child be it good or bad.

I allow my children to play freely and be active and imaginative. I’m not going to ‘helicopter’ over them and correct them before they do something (unless I know it’s going to be bad) and I want my children to learn their own boundaries (within reason).

This is a great read. Well written and got me nodding whilst I read it. Go ahead – have a read.

http://blog.kinstantly.com/mommy-correctness-on-the-playground/