Tag Archives: Small

Defining success

Defining success

How do you define your success?

Success can be measured on many levels and depending on your personality, I believe success is also measured by what you personally feel is important to you and makes you feel successful.

I personally measure my success on my happiness and my little family. Including my husband, little man and soon to be little princess.

I am happy in my life, I may not have much but seeing my little guys smile each and every day lightens my world.

Also having a supportive husband who appreciates me being home and being the ‘keeper of the house’ and ‘stay at home mum’ is important to me. I would struggle if I had to leave my little man each and every day. I love being hands on with him and being able to watch him explore and grow each and every day.

I know many people who measure their happiness on other things. These things can include –

Money / wealth
How much they earn, if they are not earning a certain annual amount they don’t feel successful. Recently a comment was passed at my husband towards his salary and that it wasn’t in the ‘commenters’ eyes, a passable salary. The persons comment basically insinuated that what my husband earns is pittance and therefore he isn’t successful. I personally find this shallow but again each person measures success differently.

Happiness
I measure my success on how happy my family are and as long as we have each other, I feel successful and complete.

Assets
I have always said to my husband that I could live in a shoe box as long as I had him and my little man. I don’t need fancy cars or fancy clothes or a big home to feel successful. Again many people do feel that the bigger the home or fancier car they have or perhaps living in a particular suburb – the more successful they feel. We do live in a material world but it’s sad that some peoples mindset is that unless they have the big home they are not as worthy as the next person.

Family
Along with happiness my success is family orientated. I don’t need my family to be successful financially. As long as they are happy I feel happy. I personally don’t believe that you need a successful family to be successful yourself. Your parents money or family money doesn’t make you a better person nor does it make you more successful, I believe in working hard yourself and achieving things for yourself makes you more appreciative.

Materialistic belongings
Living in SYDNEY, a lot of people are designer obsessed and feel they need certain designer pieces to feel successful. Spending thousands of dollars on a particular item to make them feel good about themselves or boost their personal confidence is fine, however having materialist items does not make you a good person. I know this person who is always in designer things and frowns upon chain store clothing. They wear lots of designer jewellery and pass comments on the size of others engagement rings etc. I find this shallow and feel these people have insecurities which is why they measure their success on materialistic belongings. Just because you don’t have a 10 carat diamond ring doesn’t mean that you don’t have a 10 carat heart.

I believe that being a good person is so much more than being focussed on assets, finances and material belongings.

You can’t take your diamond rings and fancy cars with you when you die right?

What I’m not saying is – don’t strive to be successful but measure your successes by things that are worthy.

If you feel you need the big salary to feel competent, or the fast car or latest designer thing. Sure go get those. However I think that you can also measure your success if you are humble and happy in other things.

Majority of the world live in poverty and are happy. They base their successes on other things that the fortunate don’t always understand.

Jessica Rowe – Strong and Truthful.

I saw this in the Sydney Morning Herald today and felt the need to share.

I love her statements and absolutely Agee, life is not perfect, no one us perfect so don’t be so hard on yourself.

On her 44th birthday, Jessica Rowe shares 44 of the lessons she’s learnt along her life’s journey.

“I need to have a good strong talk to myself” … Jessica Rowe.

My life is in dire need of a steam clean, and there’s no better time to clear away the crap and cobwebs than on a birthday. Tomorrow I turn 44 years old, and I figure it’s a good time to reflect on and celebrate the life lessons I have learnt, still haven’t learnt, should learn and will never learn.

I’ve put together a list of those lessons, but before you groan, this is not a bunch of smug, self-satisfied rules for living. Besides, lists have never been my strong point, as I exist permanently in a state of controlled chaos.

However, if the apocalypse is nigh, my family and I could live quite comfortably in my car. There would be enough to eat, with scraps of food left over from old school lunches, along with stagnant water from half-drunk Disney Snow Queen Elsa water bottles.

And my family would be well-clothed, since I have a mountain of clothes for big and little people in the boot. If you need something to help pass the time, there’s piles of reading material, with a month’s worth of newspapers stacked on the front seat and overdue school library books jammed under the driver’s seat. Plus there are some sparkly purple fairy wings to help you get the hell out of this place if it really is all too terrible …

The unlisty life continues inside our home, with piles of washing, explosions of toys, clean dishes, dirty dishes, books, two cats, four fish surviving in an algae-filled tank, and two tadpoles, named Lily and Rosebud, who are existing in a sludgy, slimy glass bowl. I need to have a good strong talk to myself and take some of the following pieces of advice:

• Don’t worry if your house is a pigsty; it’s a home, not a showroom.

• Never reveal the actual cost of your shoes. They were on sale and an absolute bargain. Besides they’re not new, anyway.

• Stop pretending life is perfect, it’s not; it can be messy, hard and heartbreaking.

• Be honest about the vile times – it gives other people permission to also fess up to their struggles.

• Don’t forget to tell the people closest to you that you love them.

• Return phone calls – but if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your friends. (I do love you, really I do … )

• When you’re faced with boldness, be bolder. (I have to credit Napoleon Bonaparte for that cracker of a quote.)

• You are a good mother.

• You don’t have to have biological kids to be a mum; mothering comes in all shapes and sizes.

• It doesn’t matter if you pushed your baby out of your vagina or had it unzipped out of your stomach. All that matters is that you and your child are healthy.

• Breastfeeding can be hard: it hurts and your nipples can bleed.

• Using formula to bottle feed your babies doesn’t lower their IQ or make you any less of a mother.

• Sometimes you hate being a mum, but it doesn’t mean you hate your kids. They make your heart ache with love. It’s the unrelenting roles associated with the title of “mum” that can wear you down.

• Babies will go to sleep … eventually. (Although I’m still waiting for mine to sleep through the night!)

• Going to the park is boring.

• Playing with little kids all day is boring.

• Being with your kids all day can be blissful.

• Having a break from your children is heaven.

• You feel guilty enjoying time away from your family.

• You feel guilty for not being present, and in the moment with your family.

• You feel guilty for going to work.

• You feel guilty for not going to work.

• Your libido can go missing for a while, but don’t forget the raunchy and sexy woman you have been and still are.

• Nothing beats chocolate in bed and a Swedish crime thriller.

• Vibrators are very handy.

• Men do not notice stretch marks and cellulite; only other women notice the songlines of your body.

• Support other women and the choices they make, even if they’re not your choices.

• Go gently on yourself; you are enough.

• Tracksuits should not be worn outdoors.

• Leopard print is classic.

• You can never have enough sparkle on your clothes and in your life.

• Pink, purple and blue hair rocks.

• Floss your teeth.

• Laughter is the best medicine, but antidepressants come a close second.

• The only normal people in your life are the ones you don’t know very well.

• Be kind.

• Baked beans on toast is okay for dinner every now and then.

• Stay optimistic. It doesn’t mean being a Pollyanna, but cynicism is ugly.

• Don’t lead a safe life, take risks. It is far better to go down in flames than live a small, timid existence.

• Sometimes you have no control over what happens to you, but what you can control is how you choose to deal with it.

• Sugar is good for you.

• It’s not always about you. (But what do you really think about me???)

• Stop worrying about what other people think of you. (Are you listening, Jessica?)

• Ignore lists. Only you know what is best for you and your family.