Tag Archives: Self

New year – new you?

New year, new you? Ummm maybe but shouldn’t we be more focused on continuity?

I know that most New Years resolutions are to ‘loose weight’ ‘get fit’ ‘tone up’ etc. however I prefer to try and not follow ‘dad’ diets but continue to eat and live healthy throughout the year.

Yes I know it’s easier said than done, but rest assured if you don’t give yourself a time limit or try to convince yourself it’s a ‘new resolution’ you will generally be able to stick to it.

Now I had my second baby 7 months ago and have recently started to ‘work out’ again. Not because I’m trying to loose baby weight as such. I’m not as I’m fortunate enough that my baby weight was easily shifted. With what I believe helped was breast feeding and generally eating healthy throughout my pregnancy.

I did however still gain 17kg but I managed to loose it all within the first 3 months. My body shape had however changed. I’m more curvy now and my hips are defiantly wider. I’m back to my pre pregnancy weight and in most of my pre pregnancy clothing but I will admit they do fit differently and my jeans are tighter in the hips and bottom and yup – I have muffin top! But I haven’t been too stressed about it. I’m more concerned with keeping my milk supply for my baby girl and also being healthy for my own well being.

So having recently joined the gym to gain some fitness back I’m doing low impact exercises. Things such as body balance class, Pilates on a mat and yoga. I’ve also started with a personal trainer once per week focusing on more core and inner strength training.

Since exercising again I find that I have more energy and feel better as a mother, wife and person.

I used to train a lot, right up until I fell pregnant with my little man who recently turned 3. I trained every day – 7 days per week for about 2 hours per day mainly weight with about 30 minutes cardio and 15 minutes stretching.

It was hard for me to fall pregnant and I had complications with both my pregnancies so with my first my obstetrician suggested I do light exercise only which I basically quit the gym and only did light walking. I found that if I went too quickly I would get cramping and a ‘stitch’ like feeling in my tummy and groin area so I didn’t want to push my body.

Every one is different though and most can continue to exercise without any issues however listen to your body and also seek medical advice if your concerned.

Whilst on holiday I came across this article with some very good exercises which can be done anywhere any time.

I’m big on using your own body weight as your resistance and I’m also a big believer in listening to your body and only doing what your comfortable with.

Check out this link. Great exercises. Easy to do. You can do them anywhere, and perhaps like me, after the little ones go to bed and you have a spare 30-45 minutes to yourself.

I know it may not seem appealing to exercise at the end of the day as your possibly tired from looking after your little ones, or perhaps just a long day at work. BUT trust me when I say the endorphins will kick in and after a few days of exercising. Your body will feel great and your energy levels will be higher.

Go on, give it a go!

Good luck!

http://www.self.com/fitness/workouts/2016/01/bodyweight-moves-get-in-shape/?mbid=social_facebook_selffitness

Raising children

Raising children..

As most of you know I’m a mummy – twice over! I have a gorgeous little man who will be 3 in November and an adorable little princess who entered this world in May. Both are the absolute loves of my life. I often wonder what I did before them.

I must admit with my little man I did things so differently as to how I am with my little girl. I guess being a first time mum I was very over protective, quite nervous and was scared to make mistakes.

Mistakes? Mmmm well I made a lot of them actually but hey, first time mums are allowed. Actually any mum is allowed as there is no rule book to parenting nor is there any right or wrong way. So perhaps they were not mistakes but experiences?

Where to start? with my little guy I would run into his room to check him each time he cried, even if it was only a slight whimper. I actually slept in the same room as him until he was 17 months old as I feared that I would not hear him if he cried. I pretty much mollycoddled him and wrapped him in cotton wool. You wouldn’t think so now though as he is quite independant and self sufficient for a toddler.

With my little girl, I allow her to cry – now please don’t think I’m a terrible mother or neglect her. I certainly do not, however I don’t run to her if she whimpers or cries a little, as I’ve learnt, that babies can cry in their sleep (dreaming). I have a video monitor that is in her room and also a portable monitor that I carry with me that allows me to see her wherever I am. It also has a microphone on it so that if she is awake and upset, I can talk to her through it – sometimes if she simply hears my voice it settles her. I also can assess her situation without running to her side. I will go get her if she is too upset though, or if she continually cries for a period of time. As a mother you learn your babies cries and can differentiate the cry between hungry, sad, tired or just needing cuddles.

With my little guy, as soon as he cried I would pick him up. Sing to him and I also rocked him to sleep. He didn’t know how to self settle and never had too as he had my undivided attention and I was more than happy to carry him around and rock him to sleep.

With my little girl, I allow her to self settle. If she cries I monitor for how long and will go into her room, gently put my hand on her chest so that she can smell me and also feel that I am with her. I sometimes also shhhhhh. Again if too upset I will pick her up and comfort her but I’m certainly not as clingy on her as I was with my little guy. I constantly watch her through the monitor though πŸ™‚

With my little guy, as soon as he cried I would pick him up and carry him around. Second time around, I just don’t have time to carry her constantly as I do have a toddler to also look after.

With my little girl, I allow her to lay in her rocker or in a safe place and observe what going on around her. Yes I carry and hold her but not constantly. There is defiantly no neglect though.

Now as I said before, there is no right or wrong way to parent, everyone has their own way and no one should judge. Being a parent is hard, especially a stay at home parent. There is no ‘break’. You are followed to the bathroom, asked ‘why?’ A million times per day, you seldom shower without an audience and of course share all your meals, however I’d never change it for the world.

Being a mother is the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever done. It is the only thing that continuously makes me smile and be happy. To hold my children is a blessing and to watch them sleep at night then get a good morning kisses and cuddles makes my day. They make me whole.

What I have learnt from both my children is that firstly I’m a lot more relaxed with my little girl, perhaps confident? I know she isn’t going to die from a little cry, I know that self settling is a good thing for both her and I and I have also learnt that although she is a gazillion percent reliant on me, she is ok to lay in her rocker and watch the works go by. I’m never far away and she doesn’t always need to be held it carried around. πŸ™‚

I love both my children equally, there is no favouritism – they are both my absolute world. I’m besotted by them. They make me who I am today and I’m forever grateful that I have 2 gorgeous children that I made.

They are part of me and no matter how over tired I am or how many times I’ve played the same game or sang the same song, they make me happy. Dirty nappies and all. πŸ™‚

Id love to hear your parenting experiences. Email me noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Huff post – great read – toddlers who try!

I just read this article and felt the need to share it.

Its such a great read and also throws in some helpful information on getting your toddler to try more or I believe help with independence.

There is no harm in helping your child and doing things for them however I’m a big believer teaching self independence and with teaching comes knowledge and hopefully self respect and good self esteem levels.

Have a read and tell me what you think.

noordinarymummy@gmail.com
Copyright Β© 2014 TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc. | “The Huffington Post” is a registered trademark of TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc. All rights reserved
THE BLOG
Why Some Kids Try Harder and Some Kids Give Up
Tracy Cutchlow 09/16/14 07:05 PM ET
My toddler struggled to buckle the straps on her high chair. “Almost,” she muttered as she tried again and again. “Almost,” I agreed, trying not to hover. When she got it, I exclaimed, “You did it! It was hard, but you kept trying, and you did it. I’m so proud of you.

The way I praised her effort took a little effort on my part. If I hadn’t known better, I might have just said, “Clever girl!” (Or even “Here, let me help you with that.”) What’s so bad about that? Read on.

Stanford researcher Carol Dweck has been studying motivation and perseverance since the 1960s. And she found that children fall into one of two categories:

Those with a fixed mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their innate talent or smarts
Those with a growth mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their hard work
Fixed mindset: ‘If you have to work hard, you don’t have ability.’

Kids with a fixed mindset believe that you are stuck with however much intelligence you’re born with. They would agree with this statement: “If you have to work hard, you don’t have ability. If you have ability, things come naturally to you.” When they fail, these kids feel trapped. They start thinking they must not be as talented or smart as everyone’s been telling them. They avoid challenges, fearful that they won’t look smart.

Growth mindset: ‘The more you challenge yourself, the smarter you become’

Kids with a growth mindset believe that intelligence can be cultivated: the more learning you do, the smarter you become. These kids understand that even geniuses must work hard. When they suffer a setback, they believe they can improve by putting in more time and effort. They value learning over looking smart. They persevere through difficult tasks.

What creates these beliefs in our kids? The type of praise we give them — even starting at age 1.

The research

In one study, Dweck gathered up fifth graders, randomly divided them in two groups, and had them work on problems from an IQ test. She then praised the first group for their intelligence:

“Wow, that’s a really good score. You must be smart at this.”

She praised the second group for their effort:

“Wow, that’s a really good score. You must have tried really hard.”

She continued to test the kids, including presenting them with a choice between a harder or easier task.

Kids praised for their effort tended to take the challenging task, knowing they could learn more. They were more likely to continue feeling motivated to learn and to retain their confidence as problems got harder.

Kids praised for their intelligence requested the easier task, knowing there was a higher chance of success. They lost their confidence as problems got harder, and they were much more likely to inflate their test scores when recounting them.

Later, Dweck and her colleagues took the study out of the lab and into the home. Every four months for two years, Stanford and University of Chicago researchers visited fifty-three families and recorded them for ninety minutes as they went about their usual routines. The children were 14 months old at the start of the study.

Researchers then calculated how often parents used each type of praise: praising effort; praising character traits; and “other praise” that has a neutral effect, like “Good!” and “Wow!”

They waited five years.

Then the researchers surveyed the children, now 7 to 8 years old, on their attitudes toward challenges and learning. Children with a growth mindset tended to be more interested in challenges. Which kids had a growth mindset? Those who had heard more process praise as toddlers.

Can you unfix a fixed mindset?

I got an email from an inner-city high school teacher. “Is it too late to learn algebra, or third-person singular conjugation, or rocket science if you didn’t [develop a growth mindset] when you were 4 years old?” she asked.

Dweck had the same question. So she took middle-schoolers and college students who had fixed mindsets. She found that the students were able to improve their grades when they were taught that the brain is like a muscle: intelligence is not fixed.

It’s not too late — not for your kids, and not for you. Salman Khan of Khan Academy is on a mission to let you know it. He created an inspiring video, based on Dweck’s work, titled “You Can Learn Anything”:
The message: The brain is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The way you exercise your brain is by embracing challenges, practicing skills, learning new things. As Khan puts it, “the brain grows most by getting questions wrong, not right.”

Which is why, when my toddler was trying to snap her own buckle, I needed to encourage her to take on the challenge by saying, “Almost!” and “Try again” instead of “Here, let me do that for you.”

Pass it on

Sharing is caring, as they say. “If society as a whole begins to embrace the struggle of learning, there is no end to what that could mean for global human potential,” Khan writes.

So pass it on!

Expectations on looking good.

We all want to look our best right?

So why do we set ourselves such high standards?

A lot of women ‘aspire’ to look like models, lately I’ve read articles on how ‘amazing’ a certain ex supermodel still looks and she is 50. What I wonder is, why do we worry about what they look like and why are we comparing ourselves to them?

Models are paid to look good it’s their job. Just as we are paid to go to work, whatever our employment may be, looking good is their employment. If they didn’t look good they wouldn’t get the ‘job’ as such and therefore would be unemployed.

What a lot of us also forget is, majority of the time their salaries exceed ours and they often have personal trainers on a daily basis, nutritionists, chefs to prepare their meals ensuring it’s to their standard and possibly calorie controlled or part of a particular eating plan which allows them to just eat and not have to plan like majority of us.

If we all had help like models have we could all look that way.

Which also brings me to another point, do we all want to look like a model? It seems like a lot of hard work to me.

Why are we not happy with the way we are?

Why do we put pressure on ourselves to look like someone who is paid to look a certain way?

Domestic Violence.

Domestic violence.

We all know someone or are related to someone who is or has been a victim domestic violence.

After watching 60 minutes tonight I feel I need to write about domestic violence. I’ve been watching the Gerard Baden-Clay story and I’m reeling with anger.

Weather or not you believe he murdered his wife Alison. Or weather or not you believe it was an abusive relationship and marriage domestic violence is very much a part of today’s society and it needs to stop.

Some super scary statistics show that just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in 2005.

38% of these women who had been assaulted either sexually or physically report it was by a partner.

It’s been confirmed that one woman dies every week from domestic violence within Australia.

In NSW alone, 24 women were killed last year (2013) in domestic-related incidents.

Of all homicides in NSW, 42 per cent are domestic.

One woman is hospitalised every three hours across the country
from domestic violence.

Please remember as horrifying as these statistics are, they are the sad truth that could possibly be higher.

Unfortunately not all domestic violence cases are reported and many men and women are silent victims. They may be too scared or ashamed to speak up. To tell the truth. Perhaps fear of judgement by their peers or perhaps fear of revenge by their assaulter.

This needs to stop!

Too many women are dieing from domestic violence and it doesn’t stop there. Children are also victims which is terribly sad. Innocent and unsuspecting children at the hands of these violent disgusting people.

I’m not saying it is only men being abusive. There are many women in this world who are just as abusive both physically and mentally. Manipulating and belittling their partners. Perhaps as an act of jealously perhaps an act of low self esteem? Who really knows why these people behave in such a manner. What I know is, it should not be tolerated.

Changing laws to ensure the world is a safer place will require the courage of those victims to stand up and be brave. To speak about their abuse. We as a nation need to stop allowing abusive men to make lame excuses such as ‘Im sorry, I promise it won’t happen again’. Or ‘ I’m so stressed and anger took over, it won’t happen again’. Whatever the excuse violence is a low and criminal act.

Abusive doesn’t always mean being hit or punched or kicked, it can also be being yelled at, belittled or spoken to in a demeaning way. Sometimes the verbal abuse can be more scaring and hurtful than the physical.

Scars and bruises can be covered up with make up. Some people can be extremely mentally strong and are able to hide the emotional scaring or block out these feelings of hurt to the outside world ignoring them and pushing the aside.

It’s the emotional scaring that is so intense that it can remain for forever more haunting it’s victims. This emotional scaring is always in the minds of these victims and will always remain, no matter how hard you try to block it out or push it away, it’s happened and as a victim it can’t be change.

Australians used to regard drunken abusive behaviour by husbands as the normal. For many centuries, men have grown up in families that functioned in these violent circumstances, keeping it secret from their neighbours, friends and peers yet many remain deeply affected.

Sadly, though, many of these abusive people have claimed to be suffering mental abuse, often driven by a jealousy or low self-esteem. They try to destroy the confidence of their victim to the point where they feel like a prisoner and become dependent on the abusive person at hand.

We need to stand as a nation and stop domestic violence.

If you are a victim of domestic violence please stand up. There is help out there and you need not live in fear.

I have pasted some links below where you can get help.

If you would like to talk more to me about domestic violence, please feel free to email me on –
Noordinarymummy@gmail.com

 

http://m.police.nsw.gov.au
https://www.1800respect.org.au/workers/fact-sheets/mandatory-reporting-requirements/
http://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/subjects/domestic-and-family-violence
http://www.domesticviolence.nsw.gov.au
http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-violence-statistics.php

Too old for a bikini?

Too old for a bikini?

At what age is it no longer appropriate to wear a bikini? I’m on an amazing sunny holiday with my two loves, my beautiful husband and my gorgeous little 19 month old boy – both are my world. I look around and see many women wearing bikini’s and some look ok others I wonder…

Am I being a prude? Is there an age were it’s no longer socially acceptable to wear a bikini? I’ve been reading other forums on this matter and have came up with some questions. Is it a self confidence thing? You wear it because you think you look great? Is it polite to stop embarrassing yourself and or your children? You may think you look great but what about others if your over exposing?

I have a friend whom is stunning and gorgeous! She is in her early 40’s and has 2 children but the body of a super model and she refuses to wear a bikini. When I questioned her on why when is looks amazing, her response was that it’s not age appropriate over 40.

I know this will cause some controversy but I tend to agree with her. You have all the younger years to flaunt what you have, why is it that you want to continue to flaunt it?

Are you that in love with yourself that you feel others need to see your body also?

Do you have the mentality of ‘who cares’ what others think?

Do you think ‘if you have it, flaunt it’?

Believe me, there are some very small bikinis out there which I really feel are inappropriate on older women.

Perhaps I am a prude, but there are many stunning full piece swim suits that would look a lot nicer on many women. I don’t care how thin or fit you are sometimes covering up is nicer to look at and less embarrassing to your children. They may not be telling you in fear of offending you but there is one very outspoken approx 6yo here asking his mother to put a dress over her bikini as it’s ’embarrassing’.

I know we all talk about body confidence but is there such a thing as age appropriate or too much body confidence?