Tag Archives: scary mommy

Real friendships.

Absolutely!

For the past 6 or so months, I’d been beating myself up about some friendships that I thought meant a lot to me.

I feel like I had been a good, honest, reliable and trustworthy friend to these people. Turns out the friendship hasn’t been reciprocated.

As a friend I go above and beyond to make the effort to see my ‘friends’. I drive over and hour sometimes to see them and have time with them. Over the past few months no matter how much I try to organise a catch up, I’m being either ignored or pushed aside. Deliberately or not, it has hurt my feelings and made me question if these people are actually true friends?

My husband tells me to ‘let it go’ that they clearly don’t ‘respect my friendship’ but it’s hurt me. True friends make an effort and time for those who are important in their lives, or who they value in their lives.

Why can’t people just be honest?

If our friendship has found it’s ‘use by date’ please be honest. Dont let me feel like a fool when I extend an invitation to see you. You say a ‘yes’ but it never comes into fruition. Please, tell me that you would rather not. Don’t ignore me or cancel last minute or ‘forget’ to respond for months on end. That’s shitty behaviour and not fair.

I was taught to treat others the way that you wish to be treated.

It may take me an hour or perhaps a day to respond to communications. BUT I always will. I dont make excuses. If I don’t want to see you or spend time with you. You will know in the most polite way that I can deliver the answer. I won’t ‘fake’ the friendship.

I don’t have time or the energy to be hurt or hurt others.

The Kind Of Friends Moms Need

The 3rd child?

So on the weekend my husband bought up the ‘3rd’ child question….

We currently have a 3yo boy and a 17mo girl. I feel complete, and extremely blessed. One of each is perfect for me. I have enough time with each and was questioning how would I manage another? We are in a great routine, they play so well together, they both sleep through the night, they adore each other, why ‘rock the boat’ so to speak.

Well firstly I was extremely shocked that my hubby bought this subject up, as he was the one that never wanted children. I basically gave him the ultimatum. He knew that when he proposed he was definitely having babies with me. He still proposed so he must not have worried too much about this.

Once we had our little man he then again said, no more babies I want my wife back and one is plenty, well again we had a chat and yes, we now also have a daughter. We have 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart, fun, happy and healthy little people. I feel completely besotted by them and am happy with the 2 children so you can imagine the shock when hubby bought up a third.

He was away last week for business and clearly missed us. His conversation Saturday went something like this.
‘Babe, do you ever get a pang for another baby?’

Well I nearly fell off my chair and replied, ‘yes I do, but I thought we agreed that the 2 that we have are perfect?’.

Hubby’s response, ‘after being away the past week I really missed you, little man and princess, I was thinking about having a third with you, would you consider it? Would you put your body through it again?’ (FYI, I get really bad morning/ all day sickness, with complicated pregnancy and difficult to actually fall pregnant)

My response, ‘I would put my body through it, absolutely, but we have 2 amazing little ones, do we really want a third?’

Hubby, ‘Hmmm I know, I just think how great a mum you are, how much our kids adore you and how beautiful our kids are, gives me pangs’.

Me, ‘Hmmm’.

So this was never a position I thought I’d be in. I’m pretty sure I’m completely happy with 2, I am one of 3 and remember that one of my siblings was always left out. I feel like 2 always play together and 1 is on the outer? Not sure. I think I’d want 4 rather than 2.

I know I have enough love.

We will see…..

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_source=FB

My little big boy.

My sweet boy will be turning 4 in approx 6 weeks.

Where has the time gone?

It breaks my heart to think he is ‘growing up’. He is my first born and my only boy. (I only have 2 children my baby is a girl)

I’m so proud that he is growing up but and feel torn that I’m loosing my ‘baby boy’.

I’m excited for all his adventures ahead and enjoy watching him, explore, learn and develop. It’s surreal how his personality is developing and how each week his language, thought process and maturity evolves.

This bought tears to my eyes. Happiness and sad. I call him my little big boy. He is growing ‘big’ but no matter how ‘big’ he gets, he will always be ‘my little boy’. ❤️

http://www.scarymommy.com/problem-4-year-olds/?utm_source=FB

Full of love.

I have two. One of each sex. I feel blessed.
My heart is full and complete.

With my first born, my little man. I was obsessed with him. (Ok still am) I wasn’t sure I had enough love for another. But then, I had my little girl, and again, obsessed.

I adore both my children.

Equally.

I love them more than words could ever describe. I know some may think this is weird or over the top but it’s true. I waited until I was in my 30’s before I had my children, some mayday that’s late. I’m glad I waited as I certainly don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. I had a great job prior to babies, I’ve travelled immensely, been able to do things spontaneously and now I get to spend my days raising these two beautiful beings.

I have so much love and adoration for them. I may sound like I’m gushing, well I probably am. Yes I have bad fats but seeing their smiles each and every day Mayes me fall even more in love with them.

I love this post. ❤️

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_medium=partner&utm_source=positiveparents

Parental advice?

Ha ha ha!

Now I’m no one to be handing out parental advice, however I have had 2 different situations with my 2 very different children.

I received, and still do revive plenty of ‘advice’ from others. I listen yes, however I choose what I want to take on board and stuff I choose to pass on. We all have our own ideas on what is right or best for us, what we are willing to accept and what we are willing to try.

My first born, my now 3 year old boy. Well I de everything the ‘wrong’ way.
Perhaps because I was only learning myself? Perhaps because I couldn’t bare to hear him whimper, let alone cry?
Perhaps because he was my first born and I wanted to be awake all night? 😉😆😏 (not)

I’m not quite sure? However I would rock him to sleep every night, whilst I would pace up our hallway. I did this until he was 2 years old. I’d then carefully put him in his cot, if he would stir I’d then have my hand resting on his chest for ‘reassurance’. I’d then sit in the floor with my hand in between the cot slats (almost like a jail cell door) and slowly and gently pat him until he would go back to sleep. This could take hours (no I’m not joking)

He would also wake 5 or 6 times per night, sometimes more and then the whole ‘routine’ would start again. The picking up, holding, rocking, shushing, pacing the hallway, the resting hand, gentle pats whilst sitting on the floor and hand dropped through the side of the cot….. Over and over until he was fast asleep.

When I was almost due to have my second child I couldn’t bare the thought of doing this with 2 little ones. I thought I’d go crazy and not manage so we got an amazing sleep nanny in who helped with our little guy and after 4 nights of her advice. Guess what? He slept through and to this day, he still does. He goes to bed at 6:15pm, is asleep by 6:30pm and sleeps through until about 6:30am. With no pacing, no patting, no shushing , nothing. We brush his teeth, read a book, then it’s lights out with him alone in his bed calming himself to sleep. No pitter patter coming out, nothing. What a game changer!

Sure I miss the extra cuddles and laying with him, however I know it’s good for him to self settle and good for me to not be over tired. Amazing how much more energy I have and less snappy I am with getting a good nights sleep and rest. For the both of us. Because he also needs his sleep in order to grow, learn and be attentive and energy to play.

Our sleep nanny is a wonderful woman Jenny. I have attached her website below for those in Sydney NSW Australia, interested in her services.

Rest assured when number 2 came along, I didn’t do any of that. And you know what? She survived. I survived and we are both still alive and well.

She may just be a ‘better’ sleeper. She is a different person yes. From 4 weeks old she slept through the night. 6pm until 6:30am every night. Now I’m not telling you this to brag. I’m telling you this as all children are different.

When my little girl had her 4 month growth spurt or as some would call it a ‘sleep regression’ it was hard. She did wake for 2 weeks straight every 2-3 hours every night and I was beside myself as I was used to getting a good nights rest and a full 8 hours sleep. So I called in Jenny again. And, within 3 nights our little girl was sleeping through again.

She had her first birthday over the weekend just passed and has slept through every night since she was 5 months old. Thanks to Jenny!

Jenny didn’t punish her, didn’t have her scream the house down, none of that. She basically monitored her over night (let me sleep through) and then left me with her tips / ideas on what may work to get our little girl to sleep through, and yep, they worked.

Now this may not be for everyone. However I was feeling overwhelmed, I needed a full nights sleep for my sanity and also to re connect with my husband.

We would be sitting watching TV or eating a lovely meal, or just spending time together and each night, without fail, the pitter patter of little feet.

I can totally relate to this ‘Scary Mommy’ post. Gosh I think most of us can. It’s worth the read for the little giggle at least. 😉😊

http://www.scarymommy.com/earlier-bedtimes-healthy-children/
http://www.solvebabies.com.au

Days that feel like failure.

Days when we feel like failure.

We all have days where we feel like perhaps we are not the best mum or that we are not on top of things. Gosh, I know sometimes I feel like I am being overwhelmed by everything that I’m not doing anything right.

I feel like perhaps forgotten my little guys drink bottle to go to school or forgot so who g fur ‘news day’ anything, but I often question myself about ‘am I on top of things’. This may be the lack of sleep, it could be the thousand things that I have on my mind, or I could just be overwhelmed by trying to remember everything.

Trying to do everything all at once is not always possible but we must just remind ourselves we are only human.

Again scary mommy just my nod of approval. I get it. Most people would. Click this link and remind yourself, we don’t always have to ‘have it together’. Stop apologising and feel good about yourself and your decisions.

http://www.scarymommy.com/please-stop-apologizing-for-not-being-perfect/

A love like no other.

I love the honesty in this post. Again by one of my favourites. ‘Scary Mommy’.

I sometime feel like I’ve made many mistakes with my little guy, my first born and my first amazing unconditional true love. It’s amazing the love we feel fur our children. Well I know the love that I have for mine. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before, very overwhelming yet so satisfying.

I think I speak for most patents when I say there is no greater love than the love we have for our children.

As a middle child myself I always thought that my mother favoured my older sister and younger brother. One because my sister and mother get along more like sisters and are quite similar and my brother, well he is the baby of the family and a boy.

Much like my little man, my brother us a mummy’s boy. Not that there is anything wrong with it. However I used to curse it, but now that I have my own son, I totally understand and accept it.

I adore both my children but when I was pregnant with my little girl, I had similar thoughts. How can I love another as much? Well I have and I do.

Please read this blog, it hit home for me, perhaps it will also for you!
http://www.scarymommy.com/first-child-love-will-never-change/