Tag Archives: problems

Cheat? Cheater? Cheating?

Cheating!

Once a cheat always a cheat?

I’m A huge believer in monogamy. Call me old fashioned but I don’t believe that you take vows of forever, in sickness and in health and make promises to your partner to be faithful if that’s not what you intend on doing.

I also don’t quite understand the idea that cheating is ok? Then the ‘cheater’ blaming their partner? How is this normal?

I’ve once heard that the ‘cheater’ said they no longer felt wanted by the partner which is why they cheated. Perhaps instead of infidelity they should talk to their partner and try to resolve issues?

I guess I’m some cases it’s their ego that needs a boost? This still doesn’t make it right in my eyes or beliefs.

It also makes me think, will the ‘cheater’ ever be happy and content with the one partner?

Will they always have the inclination to stray and cheat? Are they simply deceitful people?

What would you do if you were cheated on?

I was cheated on by a long term partner and initially I blamed myself, thinking I wasn’t enough and why couldn’t I make him happy or please him?

What I soon realised is that he was the one with the issues not me. It took me a while to stop blaming myself and realise that I actually did nothing wrong and that it was him at fault.

Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as alcoholism, drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, over spending and so on. In case ‘s of infidelity, when the underlying reason is emptiness due to self-abandonment, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex , using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness. Instead of being the ‘bigger person’ and ending the current relationship, the ‘cheater’ takes their emptiness and aloneness with them into their next relationship. And so the cycle continues.

Someone who cheats in one relationship is almost certain to do it again unless they fulfil themselves and heal their inner brokenness.

You cannot expect to put your emptiness and aloneness into someone else. You need to fix your own problems prior to staring a new relationship.

I know that I would never date someone whom I know has previously cheated. Perhaps I have trust issues from my past or perhaps I simply wouldn’t want the continual thoughts of ‘what are they up to, or am I enough?’

My theory is simple and I’ve known many people who cheat on their partners and many who have been cheated on. In my eyes it’s a low act.

Hurting someone for your own fulfilment. I don’t think these people ever change and that there will always be the inclination there for them to repeat offend.

I’ve been with my now husband almost 9 years, married for over 3 years and I can wholeheartedly say that yes we argue and yes I get cranky and upset with him, I personally don’t believe any relationship is perfect but at no stage have I or would i ever contemplate seeking intimacy with someone else.

If I have an issue or feel insecure, low, upset or angry I talk it out and make things work. I think cheating is an easy option for weak people to escape reality.

It takes a stronger person to fix a problem than to cheat and betray for your own personal pleasure hurting those who you supposedly love and care for the most.

I understand that someone may pursue you, however you have the control to walk away and not accept. Take responsibility for your actions and know that for every action, there is a reaction and reputations are hard to change.

 

Ovarian cysts!

Ovarian cysts

My husband and I have been trying for a new baby. Very exciting news. I’ve always wanted 2 children and having a gorgeous little boy who is my world and whom I totally adore has been the best gift ever to me.

As most know, I had various issues with falling pregnant with my little guy and since trying for another I’m experiencing similar issues.

A few weeks ago I went in clomid to assist with ovulating. No luck 🙁 I went to have a blood test to just make sure things are ok.

Unfortunately they are not. I have high levels of testosterone and am not ovulating. I was then sent for an ultrasound. This came back with more horrible news. I have am ovarian cyst the size of an egg on my right ovary. Along with the continual blows, I inly have 14 follicles on my left Fallopian tube and 7 on my right. Most women have hundreds.

So here we go again with fertility issues.

Since finding out all this information I’ve been doing research on both ovarian cysts and follicles. Below is what I’ve found.
Ovarian Cysts and Tumors

The ovaries are two small organs located on either side of the uterus in a woman’s body. They make hormones, including estrogen, which trigger menstruation. Every month, the ovaries release a tiny egg. The egg makes its way down the fallopian tube to potentially be fertilized. This cycle of egg release is called ovulation.

What causes ovarian cysts?
Cysts are fluid-filled sacs that can form in the ovaries. They are very common. They are particularly common during the childbearing years.

There are several different types of ovarian cysts. The most common is a functional cyst. It forms during ovulation. That formation happens when either the egg is not released or the sac — follicle — in which the egg forms does not dissolve after the egg is released.

Nearly 60 Percent of Uterine Cancer Cases Preventable: Report
Other types of cysts include:

Polycystic ovaries. In polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), the follicles in which the eggs normally mature fail to open and cysts form.

Endometriomas. In women with endometriosis, tissue from the lining of the uterus grows in other areas of the body. This includes the ovaries. It can be very painful and can affect fertility.
Cystadenomas. These cysts form out of cells on the surface of the ovary. They are often fluid-filled.

Dermoid cysts. This type of cyst contains tissue similar to that in other parts of the body. That includes skin, hair, and teeth.

What causes ovarian tumors?
Tumors can form in the ovaries, just as they form in other parts of the body. If tumors are non-cancerous, they are said to be benign. If they are cancerous, they are called malignant. The three types of ovarian tumors are:

Epithelial cell tumors start from the cells on the surface of the ovaries. These are the most common type of ovarian tumors.

Germ cell tumors start in the cells that produce the eggs. They can either be benign or cancerous. Most are benign.
Stromal tumors originate in the cells that produce female hormones.
Doctors aren’t sure what causes ovarian cancer. They have identified, though, several risk factors, including:

Age — specifically women who have gone through menopause
Smoking
Obesity
Not having children or not breastfeeding (however, using birth control pills seems to lower the risk)
Taking fertility drugs (such as Clomid)
Hormone replacement therapy
Family or personal history of ovarian, breast, or colorectal cancer (having the BRCA gene can increase the risk)

What are the symptoms of ovarian cysts and tumors?

Often, ovarian cysts don’t cause any symptoms. You may not realize you have one until you visit your health care provider for a routine pelvic exam. Ovarian cysts can, however, cause problems if they twist, bleed, or rupture.

If you have any of the symptoms below, it’s important to have them checked out. That’s because they can also be symptoms of ovarian tumors. Ovarian cancer often spreads before it is detected.

Symptoms of ovarian cysts and tumors include:

Pain or bloating in the abdomen
Difficulty urinating, or frequent need to urinate
Dull ache in the lower back
Pain during sexual intercourse
Painful menstruation and abnormal bleeding
Weight gain
Nausea or vomiting
Loss of appetite, feeling full quickly
How do doctors diagnose ovarian cysts and tumors?

The obstetrician/gynecologist or your regular doctor may feel a lump while doing a routine pelvic exam. Most ovarian growths are benign. But a small number can be cancerous. That’s why it’s important to have any growths checked. Postmenopausal women in particular should get examined. That’s because they face a higher risk of ovarian cancer.

How do doctors diagnose ovarian cysts and tumors? continued…
Tests that look for ovarian cysts or tumors include:

Ultrasound. This test uses sound waves to create an image of the ovaries. The image helps the doctor determine the size and location of the cyst or tumor.

Other imaging tests. Computed tomography (CT), magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), and positron emission tomography (PET) are highly detailed imaging scans. The doctor can use them to find ovarian tumors and see whether and how far they have spread.

Hormone levels. The doctor may take a blood test to check levels of several hormones. These include luteinizing hormone (LH), follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), estradiol, and testosterone.

Laparoscopy. This is a surgical procedure used to treat ovarian cysts. It uses a thin, light-tipped device inserted into your abdomen. During this surgery, the surgeon can find cysts or tumors and may remove a small piece of tissue (biopsy) to test for cancer.
CA-125. If the doctor thinks the growth may be cancerous, he might take a blood test to look for a protein called CA-125. Levels of this protein tend to be higher in some — but not all — women with ovarian cancer. This test is mainly used in women over age 35, who are at slightly higher risk for ovarian cancer.

If the diagnosis is ovarian cancer, the doctor will use the diagnostic test results to determine whether the cancer has spread outside of the ovaries. If it has, the doctor will also use the results to determine how far it has spread. This diagnostic procedure is called staging. This helps the doctor plan your treatment.

How are ovarian cysts and tumors treated?

Most ovarian cysts will go away on their own. If you don’t have any bothersome symptoms, especially if you haven’t yet gone through menopause, your doctor may advocate ”watchful waiting.” The doctor won’t treat you. But the doctor will check you every one to three months to see if there has been any change in the cyst.

Birth control pills may relieve the pain from ovarian cysts. They prevent ovulation, which reduces the odds that new cysts will form.

Surgery is an option if the cyst doesn’t go away, grows, or causes you pain. There are two types of surgery:

Laparoscopy uses a very small incision and a tiny, lighted telescope-like instrument. The instrument is inserted into the abdomen to remove the cyst. This technique works for smaller cysts.

Laparotomy involves a bigger incision in the stomach. Doctors prefer this technique for larger cysts and ovarian tumors. If the growth is cancerous, the surgeon will remove as much of the tumor as possible. This is called debulking. Depending on how far the cancer has spread, the surgeon may also remove the ovaries, uterus, fallopian tubes, omentum — fatty tissue covering the intestines — and nearby lymph nodes.

Other treatments for cancerous ovarian tumors include:

Chemotherapy — drugs given through a vein (IV), by mouth, or directly into the abdomen to kill cancer cells. Because they kill normal cells as well as cancerous ones, chemotherapy medications can have side effects, including nausea and vomiting, hair loss, kidney damage, and increased risk of infection. These side effects should go away after the treatment is done.

Radiation — high-energy X-rays that kill or shrink cancer cells. Radiation is either delivered from outside the body, or placed inside the body near the site of the tumor. This treatment also can cause side effects, including red skin, nausea, diarrhea, and fatigue. Radiation is not often used for ovarian cancer.

Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation may be given individually or together. It is possible for cancerous ovarian tumors to return. If that happens, you will need to have more surgery, sometimes combined with chemotherapy or radiation.

The ovaries contain eggs (which formed in the ovary during childhood) and these are matured by the ovary (usually one at a time) in follicles which then come to the surface of the ovary and burst to release the egg into the top of the fallopian tube.

Thus if multiple follicles have been detected in an ovary, that ovary is developing more than one egg at a time – this can result non identical twins.

Usually only one follicle is developed to maturity at a time but it is possible to stimulate the ovary to produce more (using hormones) as part of interventions relating to infertility treatments.

Antral follicles are small follicles (about 2-8 mm in diameter) that we can see – and measure and count – with ultrasound. Antral follicles are also referred to as resting follicles. Vaginal ultrasound is the best way to accurately assess and count these small structures.

Many fertility specialists believe that the antral follicle counts (in conjunction with female age) are the best tool that we currently have for estimating a woman’s remaining fertility potential (or ovarian reserve). Ovarian volume measurements (also done by ultrasound), and day 3 FSH and AMH levels (blood tests) are additional studies that can help.

Presumably, the number of antral follicles visible on ultrasound is indicative of the relative number of microscopic (and sound asleep) primordial follicles remaining in the ovary. Each primordial follicle contains an immature egg that can potentially develop in the future.

In other words, when there are only a few antral follicles visible, there are far less eggs remaining as compared to when there are many more antral follicles visible. As women age, they have less eggs (primordial follicles) remaining – and they have less antral follicles visible on ultrasound. Therefor lower chances of falling pregnant.

 

Personality types!

Personalities

So after staring my blog I have came across many comments and personalities, so I thought I’d do some research on the various personality types, interesting find.

What type of personality are you?

The Duty Fulfiller

Serious and quiet, interested in security and peaceful living. Extremely thorough, responsible, and dependable. Well-developed powers of concentration. Usually interested in supporting and promoting traditions and establishments. Well-organized and hard working, they work steadily towards identified goals. They can usually accomplish any task once they have set their mind to it.

The Mechanic

Quiet and reserved, interested in how and why things work. Excellent skills with mechanical things. Risk-takers who they live for the moment. Usually interested in and talented at extreme sports. Uncomplicated in their desires. Loyal to their peers and to their internal value systems, but not overly concerned with respecting laws and rules if they get in the way of getting something done. Detached and analytical, they excel at finding solutions to practical problems.

The Nurturer

Quiet, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other’s feelings. Interested in serving others.

The Artist

Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment.

The Protector

Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

The Idealist

Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

The Scientist

Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

The Thinker

Logical, original, creative thinkers. Can become very excited about theories and ideas. Exceptionally capable and driven to turn theories into clear understandings. Highly value knowledge, competence and logic. Quiet and reserved, hard to get to know well. Individualistic, having no interest in leading or following others.

The Doer

Friendly, adaptable, action-oriented. “Doers” who are focused on immediate results. Living in the here-and-now, they’re risk-takers who live fast-paced lifestyles. Impatient with long explanations. Extremely loyal to their peers, but not usually respectful of laws and rules if they get in the way of getting things done. Great people skills.

The Guardian

Practical, traditional, and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. “Good citizens” who value security and peaceful living.

The Performer

People-oriented and fun-loving, they make things more fun for others by their enjoyment. Living for the moment, they love new experiences. They dislike theory and impersonal analysis. Interested in serving others. Likely to be the center of attention in social situations. Well-developed common sense and practical ability To care for others.

The Caregiver

Warm-hearted, popular, and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function.

The Inspirer

Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

The Giver

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

The Visionary

Creative, resourceful, and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues, and may be into “one-up-manship”. They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

The Executive

Assertive and outspoken – they are driven to lead. Excellent ability to understand difficult organizational problems and create solid solutions. Intelligent and well-informed, they usually excel at public speaking. They value knowledge and competence, and usually have little patience with inefficiency or disorganization.

Yoga

So I’m having issues sleeping, not because of my 19 month old but I just can’t seem to fall asleep easily.

I used to fall asleep within approx 30 minutes of going yo bed but recently I’m awake until early hours of the morning. Unfortunately this is not good for my energy levels.

Ive heard that there are certain yoga poses that can assist and I’ve been googling them and found this link :

It’s amazing!

If you like me need help in sleeping, try these yoga poses. I guess the yoga is relaxing your mind and body and also a form of meditation. Can’t re comment enough!

Sweet dreams !

http://www.shape.com/blogs/working-it-out/7-yoga-poses-help-you-catch-more-zzzs#060214

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does your toddler sleep?

Toddler Sleeping Issues!

My little guy has never been a great sleeper, I fact he has always woken minimal 4 times per night.

I’ve read all minds of books to try and get assistance with this. I’ve done control crying and white noise. You name it, I’ve tried it! Still with no avail.

I’ve been told not by one but by many that once asleep, most toddlers sleep through most nights without waking the house hold. But toddlers love to test their independence, so getting them to bed in the first place can be a challenge within itself!

Toddlers also get overtired easily. When they do, they find it harder to get to sleep. They become over stimulated and more aroused. Once you can spot these little signs of tiredness, you should start to settle your bub before grumpiness sets in. A consistent bedtime routine will be a big help.

Understanding sleep and sleep patterns is an important starting point for helping your child develop healthy habits and a positive attitude towards sleep.

Toddler sleep schedule according to our peaditrician should be :

7 am: wake up
1 pm: morning sleep of approx 2 hours
3 pm: wake up
7 pm: bedtime.
If your toddler’s day sleep is too long or too late in the day, you might struggle in getting them ready for bed until late at night.

Some toddlers like to wake with the birds at 5.30 am or 6 am. Like my little guy. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about it. Putting him toddler to bed later at night in the hope of later starts in the morning doesn’t tend to work. He still wakes with the first chirp of a birdie!

In some books I’ve read they say a consistent bedtime routine helps prepare a child for sleep. Most toddlers are ready for bed between 6.30 pm and 7.30 pm. This is a good time, because they sleep deepest between 8 pm and midnight.

A routine might look something like this:

6.30 pm: brush teeth and change nappy
6.45 pm: quiet time (read a book or tell a story)
7 pm: into bed and kiss goodnight.
If your child takes a dummy to bed, you might consider saying goodbye to it at around three years old. My little guy still has one but he is only 16 months old. I constantly get judged by others for allowing him to have it but it settles him and comforts him when upset so I’m happy to allow it for the time being.

Every night if I don’t wait in my little mans room until he is completely asleep he will cry and call out to me. Not daddy or anyone else, just me. This can be testing and I have tried to let him cry it out but he works himself up so much that he vomits. This then means I have to change the sheets and do extra washing. I’ve been suggested by trecillian to try these tips:

1. Avoid boisterous play before bedtime. This can make it harder for your child to settle. Imagine if you were to listen to very loud techno music then try sleeping straight away? Not going to happen as your too pumped up and exited. The same goes for a toddler.

2. Establish a consistent, calming bedtime routine. Before leaving the room, check that your child has everything they need. Remind your child to stay quietly in bed.

3. Try not to respond to your child’s calls after you’ve turned the light out, no matter how loud he protests. If you respond, he’ll try the same thing again next bedtime.

4. If your child gets up and try’s to get out of bed, return them to bed firmly or pay them back down and quietly – over and over until there’s no more getting up. Or you can return them to their bed once – if they get up again, close the bedroom door and ignore all further protests.

5. If your toddler shares a bedroom with a brother or sister, you might need to delay your other child’s bedtime by half an hour until your toddler is settled and asleep. With luck, your toddler will very quickly get the message that bedtime is for sleeping, and the disruption to all will be minimal.

6. In calling out, your child might actually need something. If your child has done a poo, change the nappy with the lights dim and no talking. If your child is scared of a monster under the bed, a quick check by you (with the light off) can confirm the room is monster-free. Your toddler might settle after that. If your child is scared of the dark, think about using a night-light. Whatever the issue is, keeping on eye on light and noise in your child’s room is a good idea.

Other issues that you may experience that I have are night terrors and or bad dreams. A night terror is when your child suddenly becomes very agitated while in a state of deep sleep. A night terror can last from a few minutes up to 40 minutes. My little one often does this and they say not to wake them as they don’t understand or realize what is happening and quite often don’t even remember. Waking them can result in them going back to sleep and experiencing the sane dream / terror.

Many children grind their teeth at some stage. Children won’t usually be woken up by the sound of their own teeth grinding – but other people in the room might be!

Moving to a ‘big bed’
Most children move from a cot to a bed somewhere between two and three-and-a-half years old. But there’s no hurry, particularly as some young toddlers become trickier to manage in a bed. Of course, you might need to move your child if your child has started climbing out of the cot or needs to use the potty at night, or if you need the cot for a new baby.

Getting help
Pills, potions and tonics aren’t usually the answer to solving children’s sleeping problems – there are better ways to deal with your child’s sleep difficulties. I’ve tried rescue remedie, baby calm, lavender, white noise. Everything. We are moving house in 3 weeks so I plan on getting trecillian in to help at the new house.

More info on this can be found at:

http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/settling-techniques-newborn-12-months.html
http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/tackling-toddler-sleep-problems
http://www.mumsnet.com/toddlers/sleep-problems
http://www.sleeplady.com/toddler-sleep-problems/2-year-old-sleep-tips/
http://sleepsense.net/tassessment/?gclid=CMitr9Gfhb0CFYHhpAodXVcAxA
http://www.nightnannies.com.au/parents/services.aspx