I have this theory, that we go through chapters in our lives. Much like a novel / book we all have different stages / chapters.
Let me tell you a little about my chapters.
I grew up in a small country town in NSW. The whole population of the town where I grew up in is approx 2500 people. There is a lot of farming there especially with dairy cattle.
I did all my schooling there and studied to be a fitness instructor whilst studying my HSC (high school certificate in grade 12) as soon as I completed my HSC I moved to Sydney with my then high school boyfriend and started work in a university gymnasium. I did everything from teaching aerobic classes to one on one personal training, swim coaching, pool life guarding and the customer service desk. That relationship was failing as we were both too young to be 100% committed to the relationship so we called it a day.
I met a guy who was in the Royal Australian Navy. I thought he was wonderful and after knowing him approx 3 months, I moved to WA to be with him. This was a whirlwind relationship I was 20yo. After approx 6 months he proposed and I thought he was the ‘one’. Needless to say things turned sour after I found out he was cheating on me. I staied in WA though and soildered on with my life at 21yo.
After almost 3 years in WA I decided it was time to be closer to my family. My older sister had just had her first baby – a gorgeous little girl and my brother who was a jackaroo had been involved in a terrible accident and was in hospital with various broken bones, fractures on the skull and punctured lungs. So back to Sydney I moved.
I started working for a transport company selling their services and was romanced by a much younger guy. I was first not interested as we were colleagues however after him chasing me for over 12 months, I allowed him to take me to dinner. I started a new job and thought our relationship would work.
He was 5 years my junior. We actually got along very well and out romance blossomed. I was shortly introduced to his family and being South American, I was welcomed as part of their family and got along with everyone very well. This relationship for lack of a better word was ‘toxic’ he being younger just wanted to go party with his mates and as he lived with his parents an hour from the city he would ‘use’ my place (I loved alone) as a place to stay after his ‘boys nights’. I lived 15 minutes from the city.
I think I staied with him as I loved his family and with mine being 4hrs away from Sydney, I felt part of something as his mother thought if me as her own. She has 3 boys.
After putting up with his antics for almost 4 years I broke it off with him. Bought a new apartment that was mine and started over – again.
After being single approx a year and starting my own Jewellery wholesale business I thought my life was in order. Until I met my now husband.
We met at a dance party and I initially thought he was homosexual. We were dancing in a group and everyone was quite risky and he was the only guy not ‘mauling’ the girls. 🙂 until he made his move on me.
After acres hours of him trying to convince me he wasn’t homosexual we kissed. From that night on we were inseparable. We were truly in love and spent all our time together. We went visiting my friends and the first time he told me he loved me was in the rain running home after dinner. We had only been dating a month.
I won’t say our relationship was or is perfect. He is 9 years my senior, divorced, has a now almost 12 yo son to his first wife and was quite the bachelor in between his divorce and our beginning.
The first 2 years of our relationship was rocky, we broke up 3 times as he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a committed relationship. His son and I didn’t really get along, no matter how hard I tried the child hated me. He would ignore me, kick me under the table, throw food at me and basically do anything to annoy me.
My hubby thought this was all to hard on the child so decided to call it quits on our relationship. Instead of disciplining the child the easy option was to break up and eliminate the ‘hard’ part. At every break up we were only apart 2 weeks. He kept coming back apologizing profusely. Saying he loves me and can’t be without me.
After dating my now husband for 2 years we decided to live together – well officially live together. We had spent almost every night together since meeting however both owned our own apartments.
On a holiday in Thailand I decided to sell my unit and we decide to rent his out and live together. We rented a gorgeous house that was quite the family home.
Bare in mind, my now hubby was never getting married again nor was he ever having more children (reminder that we have a 15 month old).
We lived happily together for a year when out for dinner one night the bombshell was dropped. ‘I want to see other people’ he said to me. I thought my world was ending.
So after he gave me a month to move out – I started my life yet over again. I picked up the pieces and moved on. Well tried to.
I found a new home, I decided to find a new job and I got on with things. We kept in touch and he started dating other people which hurt. People that I knew.
Within 6 weeks we was asking to forgive him. I was receiving text messages daily, being asked for dinners, emails at work and flowers left at my door.
I asked him why should I forgive and why does he feel he deserves a second chance? He had stuffed me around and this wasn’t fair. We had already broken up 3 times, why would I want to put myself through this again?
So I wrote him a long well thought out email with approx 20 reasons as to why I should consider our relationship again.
Each morning on his way to work he would leave a note and a rose on the windscreen of my car answering a question. This went on until every question I had asked was answered. I didn’t take him back that easily though. I made him start proving his love and saying me, and only me again.
Within a week I had a plane ticket emailed to my work, this ticket was to join him in Paris! At first I wasn’t sure but thought – hey he making a good effort here what have I to loose?
On the trip we did all the romantic things and at the top of the Eiffel Tower he have me a diamond ring. No not an engagement ring but a ‘promise’ ring. This was a promise that he would never break my heart again. And he hasn’t!
We broke up the last day in January, were back together in April and in Paris in May. In feb the following year he proposed, out our favorite park wit a romantic picnic. He had called in sick from his job that day however I knew something was up.
At around 4pm he called me at work to tell me that he would pick me up as he had a surprise for me. I knew what the surprise was. Let’s say woman’s instinct.
We drove to our favorite place and he had everything prepared and said ‘you know your my best friend right?, you know you mean the works to me right?, I’m
Sorry for the past but I want you in my life for forever, will you make me the happiest man in the works and be my wife? Well I said yes!
We started planning a holiday along the Amalfi Coast. His suggestion to my delight was to elope. Just me and him and the Amalfi coast, so romantic and surreal. We had set the date for our family wedding for September that year. 2 weddings within the year I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the universe.
After our Amalfi wedding we decided to start and try for a baby. A wonderful addition to our life. This was a horrible set back. I was told I had no eggs and unless I started HRT (hormone replacement therapy) I would not conceive naturally.
So I had booked myself in with Sydney’s best IVF specialist and started alternate therapies including daily Chinese herbs, acupuncture 3 times per week, yoga, meditation, all natural diet- no foods won’t preservatives, no alcohol, no caffeine, nothing that wasn’t natural.
Yes this was tough but I knew I had to do it. I also spoke to my mother and sister about using their eggs. My sister has beautiful healthy children and my mother has 3 also.
All this whilst planning our Sydney wedding. After our Sydney wedding I had my unfortunate dilemma with my boss and friend (previous post ‘friend or foe’) I then got head hunted by a competitor whom I now still work for almost 3 years later.
It took a while but with persistence and a clear mind we fell pregnant in the January. After 9 months trying we had naturally conceived. Our IVF doctor couldn’t believe it. So we canceled the HRT and IVF and monitored the pregnancy very closely.
I was sick – very sick throughout my pregnancy vomiting twice sometimes more daily. But again very well worth it!
After 9 grueling but amazing months of pregnancy watching my belly grow, see the ultrasounds, hear my little guys heat beat, feel him move inside me – yes he was super active, all that amazing stuff and more. I had my gorgeous little man in November 2012.
The past 16 months have been sleepless, restless, lots of learning. Motherhood has taught me so much.
It’s thought me to put less pressure on myself, accept mistakes, learn to accept that I’m doing the best that I can every day and stressing about being the perfect mother, wife, employee, step mother and friend is not worth it.
I had this amazing little man enter my world who is tried so hard to get, be totally reliant on me. He didn’t know if I was making mistakes or not doing something right. I was clearly just being hard on myself.
He just needed nappie changes, being fed, being clean and most importantly being loved.
So somewhere between getting married in Sydney and falling pregnant (may actually) we moved in with my husbands parents. My hubby took a voluntary redundancy – I know good timing, and to elevate any extra financial stress we rented out our gorgeous home that we bought and moved in with his parents.
We have now been living here now almost 2 years. Thankfully we have also bought our own new home.
We sold our other home 2 weeks ago and now move I to a fresh new family home in 18 days. Not that I am counting 🙂
This is yet another wonderful chapter in my life.
See I believe we all have chapters.
If you sit down and think about where you started and where you are now you are bound to have a few stories.
Think about your chapters. Weather they msgs you laugh or make you cry. We all have a story to tell. Some will appreciate your honesty, others will judge but remember the only important judge on your life is yourself.