Tag Archives: Overwhelmed

Emotions.

Emotions and crying when angry.

Emotions are funny aren’t they?

They make us laugh, cry, smile, happy, frustrated, angry, irritated and much more.

I was going back through some of my old study note’s from when I was studying to become a counsellor. A topic that I came across was emotions and how we deal with them. I remember finding this subject quite interesting and one that I actually got great marks in my assessment for. (Quiet pat on my own back )

Emotions can get the better of us and in some cases can cause people to react or act irrationally.

I started reading through these notes and thinking about my personality and how I react to different situations. I know that when I’m extremely angry I cry. I find it hard to control. It’s almost like I get wild sensation come over me and tears come pouring out.

Some may say this is a sweet softer side of me, I’m also known to be quite hot headed and protective. (Yes I can loose it but I’m mainly ‘ticked’ and will become extremely protective, especially of my children or those close to me. I become a Mumma bear and hath have no fury like a Mumma pushed too far! 😉)

As I have aged I have learnt to ‘wind in’ my hot head and be more diplomatic but in some situations my tears still stream with anger. I suppose tears are better than yelling at someone or becoming violent right? I suppose it’s the more mature reaction but, I sometimes feel as though my tears are not seen for what they are (anger) and could be seen as sadness, defeat or fear?

Sometimes children cry with frustration when they can’t describe or control their emotions. They get sad when they don’t get their own way and cry right?

I cry with anger. With my anger, it’s generally because I feel as though my thoughts and values have been attacked, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and thoughts and no ones are right or wrong. We are all different therefore have different values. Who says your interpretation of something is right and mine is wrong? Or vice versa?

The physical sensations when I feel personally attacked or angry are similar to anxiety, which for me include a racing heart and tightness in the body. I loose my appetite, feel hot, feel like my face is sunburnt and feel a pressure in my chest, almost like someone is pushing against me. It’s weird but that’s how my body deals with it.

I have tried for many years to control the tears when I’m angry, but sometimes this emotion overcomes my control.

What I have learnt from negative emotions though is that if we dwell on it or allow it to manifest in us. They will overtake our lives and make us miserable.

Negative emotions stop us from thinking and behaving rationally and seeing situations in their true perspective. When this occurs, we tend to see only we want to see and remember only what we want to remember. This only prolongs the anger or grief and prevents us from enjoying life.

The longer this goes on, the more entrenched the problem becomes. Dealing with negative emotions inappropriately can also be harmful – for example, expressing anger with violence.

Some people can be overly emotional or sensitive, which is fine everybody is different. For me learning about emotions whilst studying to be a counsellor has helped me to understand other people’s personalities a little more. Reading their body language and reacting appropriately to their feelings.

I think the biggest factor for me personally, and what stands out from my studies is that negative emotions also can manifest in personal insecurities, general unhappiness, stress and anxiety which can lead to depression.

I know a few people who suffer depression and are on medication for it. Depression for some is described as a disease. I won’t go into depression as that’s a whole other topic and I could blog about it all day, a subject close to my heart. However emotions are natural, we cannot control them fully and we will never fully understand them.

Emotions are psychological (our thoughts) and biological (our feelings). Our brain responds to our thoughts by releasing various hormones and chemicals into our blood stream which send us into a state of arousal. All emotions come about this way, be it positive or negative. It’s complex and can be overwhelming which can also make it hard to overcome.

What we need to learn to do more is, let go of what has made you angry or emotional – constantly going over negative events preoccupies you and stops you from living in the ‘present’ and will manifest in making you feel sad and unhappy.

She is here!

For all my loyal readers I want to apologies for my lack of posts lately.

I’ve been a little pre occupied of and I hope that you understand why, my little princess arrived 3 weeks early!

It has been a whirlwind of emotion and I am yet again besotted.

I thought I knew what love was when approx 2.5years ago I welcomed my gorgeous lil man into this world.

Today I feel absolutely besotted, proud, fulfilled and over joyed with love and happiness all over again.

My lil family is now complete.
Two precious little cherubs to love, adore, enjoy, watch grow and protect for forever more.

Let me take you through my journey.

I had been on weekly ultrasounds and checkups with my midwife as my little miss was measuring small. On the lower 10th percentile on the growth chart which had our midwife and obstetric is slightly concerned.

Now hubby not myself are big units however our amazing little man was born 3.53kg and 53cm long. Our lil miss was measuring approx 2.3kg. Quite a big difference.

After my ECG – where they turned my little princess successfully she engaged straight away, I was displayed though however at that time, I could have dilated easily as my cervix was apparently ‘ripe’ and ‘soft’.

Going back to those past 2 weeks, I had my regular weekly ultrasound on the Tuesday followed by my midwife appointment on the Thursday. After the appointment I had a CTG which is a monitor that listens to the baby’s heart. My little miss had a strong healthy and regular heart beat which was reassuring.

She was still measuring small so I then went onto daily check ups. So with my little man, packed up for a few hours we were in the hospital room. Mummy hooked up to these monitoring machines to check little miss and my little man – who was so well behaved, watching a DVD and snacking.

After being monitored for 6 days straight we were advised that our little miss hadn’t grown within 2 weeks, not gained any weight nor had her head or stomach circumference had changed and that the best and safest option would be an induction.

The induction was set for 3pm on Wednesday. I had my bag packed my little miss’s bag packed and my mother had came to stay with my little man.

I was filled with various emotion as id never left my little man before for any longer than 10 hours. So leaving him over night I was heart broken. I was however exited that the time has come to meet my little girl.

After getting the brief on how I was going to be induced I was feeling very nervous.

The obstetrician decided that cervadil was going to be the better option as its a slow release. Releasing 2mg of the induction drug every 6 hours over a 12 hour period. A long process but as my lil miss was small they didn’t want complications and wanted it to be as stress free as possible. Well that didn’t really happen….

After the cervadil was inserted approx 2 hours later my contractions started.

They were quite intense and were lasting a few minutes each time and approx 15 minutes apart. With this I got cramps down my right leg and in my right bottox cheek – very painful. The contractions were coming on closer and closer then at 10pm after 5 hours of fast intense contractions my little miss was distressed and her heart was beating irregular.

They had to stop the labor and calm her. They took the cervadil out and I was put on a drip and given morphine to stop the contractions as I was also still not dilating. I was told to rest over night and they would try again in the morning.

I was quite exhausted and tried my best to sleep but was being constantly monitored and slept with the CTG machine on me which also limited my comfort level but that was nothing as I wanted what was best for my little girl.

The next morning the midwife and obstetrician decided that perhaps the best thing to do would be to break my waters and see how my body reacts and if I dilate that way.

Well at 9:25am my waters were broken and within 15 minutes I was in full on contractions again.

The contractions were lasting over 3 minutes and were only 2 minutes apart. Very fast and very intense. They became faster and longer and closer together. The whole labor only lasted 2 hours as my little miss was born at 11:25am.

As the contractions were so intense I had no time for pain relief. I had gas only. Which helped a little but as the contractions were so intense I struggled to breath and catch my breath so was also ‘blacking out’ due to the pain. Within the 2hours that I was in labour, my husband recalls me blanking out 4 times.

I also hemoraghed and lost a great amount of blood that required me to have 6 bags of fluid administered via a drip followed by a iron infusion that took over 6 hours via a drip. They considered a blood transfusion but we’re hoping that the fluids would work, which they did.

My little miss was born at 1.88kg and 44.5cm long. Teeny tiny but healthy! Yay!

I was exhausted and felt completely out of it, my little miss was also exhausted as she was so small she was tube fed for the first 3 days. I expressed my breast milk and it was syringed into a tube that went down her nose.

I felt relived that she was ok and born strong and healthy however also was upset that she was tube fed. It was for the best though and did only last 3 days.

After 5 nights in the hospital we were discharged and allowed home. Back with my little man and husband. Back into my comfort zone and able to settle into my family of 4.

I feel so complete and in love. I have these 2 amazing children whom I love more than imaginable. No words to describe the happiness or fulfilment that I have for these 2 little people.

Since being home my baby girl has had continual weight gain and is now 2.14kg her 00000 clothing is too big but she is going to grow into them.

Stay tuned and I promise to write again soon.

Guest writers!

After my call out for guest writers a few weeks ago I have received some great responses.

Ive slowly been working my way through them and will post a few over the next few weeks.

Please don’t be disheartened if I don’t post your entry immediately, I will get around to it.

Thank you to everyone who likes my blog and wants to be part of it.

Your enthusiasm and entries are greatly appreciated.