Tag Archives: Kids

Who’s right to discipline?

Who’s right to discipline?

Yet again I’ve had strangers pass comment on my children. This time however my 2 year old was being a little bossy.

Now I’m not a helicopter parent, I do allow him to play in the park or at an indoor play centre with other children and I don’t hover to ensure everything that he does is by ‘others standards’.

The other day we happened to be at an indoor play centre with some friends and my little guy was playing on a climbing thing which had slides and a ball pit and various other child friendly things.

My little guy was happily playing with other children (some we didn’t know, but hey I’d rather he make friends with other children than be shy) I was sitting approx 10 meters away watching him happily play with an older boy whom I’m guessing was approx 4 or 5 years old.

Now let’s be honest with ourselves, boys can be rough, they can be boisterous and they can be bossy. Gosh girls can be also but I find girls more bossy than boisterous. Anyway, my 2 yo was playing with this older child at the top of the climbing frame and another child was climbing up when my 2 yo said ‘you can’t come in my castle’. He and the little boy he was playing with them laughed and ran away. Now I would have thought that at some time or another any child would say such things. I didn’t see any harm in it and the older boy whom my little guy was playing with was saying the same thing. I don’t know who instigated it but they were both saying it.

I was watching from afar and could see that my little guy wasn’t being rough, nor hitting, nor pushing it being ‘hands on’ in any way.

I saw an older man approx 55 walk towards all 3 boys shaking his finger. I thought best I’d go intervene. As I was walking over the older man said to me ‘is this your kid?’ I responded yes. He then said in a quite abusive tone ‘he is being bossy, either you stop it or I will’.

My response was quite civil and I said ‘sorry, they were only playing’ I then smiled and walked away with my 2 yo. I could have reacted in a very different way and now I kinda wish I had of told this old ‘bleep’ where to go and mind his own business. If I had of reacted that way though I would only be stooping to his low inappropriate level.

Now I’m not sure what planet this guy came from but in my planet, I’d never say that to another parent nor would I threaten to discipline another child nor would I discipline someone else’s child. I find it down right rude that a stranger thought he had the right to say that to me or anyone and also think that he had the right to act upon it.

I went and got my son from the climbing thing and took him back to the table and asked him what he was doing. He said just playing, the friend that I was with and her children said he wasn’t doing anything wrong from what they could see.

What was this mans problem?

Who in their right mind would think its ok to disciple someone else’s children? Especially a strangers child?

I wonder how he would feel if the roles were reversed and I decided to act the way he did. I wonder what his reaction would be?

This is a very busy indoor play centre and I have been there previously with my children many times and have never had any issues up until this day.

Now I’m the first to admit, kids will be kids and I try not to be a helicopter parent but under no circumstances would I allow my child to be a bully or to hurt other children. I do monitor and watch my child’s every move but I certainly don’t panic and I do allow him to make his own choices. After all I do want my children to be well rounded and be able to make their own positive choices.

My child has been picked on and bullied to an extent previously but as most adults know, kids will be kids. I didn’t intervene, I simply chatted to him about it. Children push boundaries it’s their way of expressing themselves and working out each other personalities. If my son was being aggressive or hitting or touching the other child perhaps I would have been a little more cross at him and more understanding towards the grumpy man. Instead my 2yo and the older boy were simply playing and said the other child wasn’t allowed in their castle. I’m pretty sure other children have said similar if not worse.

This isn’t where it stopped though. As I was walking back, an older woman decided to say to me as I passed her table ‘your little boy is so naughty, so so naughty’. I just gave her a look of ‘mind your own business’.

So where does the issue start and stop?

Does this strange man or strange woman have the right to speak to me the way they did?

Was my 2 yo out of line?

Is it their right to discipline other people’s children?

How would you feel if you or your child were spoken to in this way?

Would you disciple another child that wasn’t yours?

Email me – I’d love to hear your stories. noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Marriage

Marriage.

Do people just settle?

As my regular readers know, I love sex and the city. I still watch it on Foxtel and still love every little thing about it.

I recently watched the episode where Carrie’s friend ‘just settles’ as the guy is good on paper and she has reached a certain age and feels she needs to settle down as that’s just ‘what you do’.

So it’s made me think – yes I’m s traditionalist and I married for love. However I’ve been thinking of reasons other than love as to why people do marry and this is what I’ve came up with.

For money – yes some people to feel they need the financial guarantee or support for a particular lifestyle so I guess they ‘hunt’ down that person in order to get their needs met.

For religious beliefs – I recently watched a television show on channel 7 where the woman was married at an early age to a Muslim man and they were in love but after many years of his controlling ways and they had 2 beautiful children she wanted to leave him. He wouldn’t sign the divorce papers so when she went on a holiday overseas he lodged a marriage certificate to that country stating that they were still in fact married and as she had met someone else – after the separation she was now committing a crime within their religion. Her ex husband took their children and wouldn’t allow her access to them and almost destroyed her life. She was in hiding for many months as such a ‘crime’ – according to the ex husband could see her jailed for life or even the death penalty.

Now I’m not saying it’s only Muslims but I find it hard to agree with having to stay married if the person that you are married to is making your life miserable and is threatening you or causing harm or an unsafe environment for the family especially children.

For children – so I understand some people think that there is a time frame on when you can / should have children but I don’t understand women who fall pregnant in order to get proposed to? Each to their own though.

For convenience – so they no longer have to worry about a relationship?

So I’ve done some googling and found some other reasons why people get married other than the traditional reason for being in love.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or reasonings for getting married.

Email me – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Because you love them or really like them.

Because she wants to.

Because you don’t seem to be going anywhere.

Because you don’t want anyone else to have them.

Because, wait — how old are you?

Because of God.

Because your boss is married or all your friend’s are married or getting married so you should too?

Because the sex is good.

Because the fights are good.

Because the sex after the fights is really good.

Because they pick up the dry cleaning.

Because you know that even if it gets bad, life will probably be easier, happier, with them than without them.

Because you believe that it’s going to work out.

What ever your reason, I just hope it lasts and its your right reason.

Sparkle Strawberries!

For all the fairy princess’s out there, this one is for you.

This can actually be done with many fruits, including other berries and bananas. If using bananas, perhaps cut them in half or quarters based on how large they are.

Making these with blueberries are quite cute also, a bit fiddley but very cute!

Fun for kids party’s or as a side to a cocktail glass!

Sparkle strawberries!

1 x punnet fresh Strawberries
1 x cup Chopped chocolate, melted (I like to use white chocolate but milk is always a winner)
Toothpicks
Hundreds & thousands for decoration
Method

Prepare a clean dish suitable for the fridge.

Wash the strawberry and dry them thoroughly.

Pin the bottom side strawberry with a toothpick, dip it in the melted chocolate.

Sprinkle with the hundreds and thousands or gently dip the strawberry in a shallow bowl of the hundreds and thousands. Which ever is easier for you.

Refrigerate them for 30 minutes to set the chocolate.

Easy peasy play doh!

No Cook Play Dough

2 cups plain flour
1 cup salt
1 tablespoon cooking oil
½-1 cup cold water
2 drops food colouring

Method

Combine plain flour and salt
Add water and oil.
Mix until ingredients are combined.
Knead well.
If consistency is too wet add a little plain flour.
If too dry add dribbles of water until you gain the desired consistency.

Divide the play dough into 4 large balls and make each ball a different colour using the food colour. Remember adding more colour will deepen the colour of your dough.
This is a quick and easy recipe that kids can help make as well as play with.

This can be stored wrapped in cling wrap or in an air tight container.

Play dough can dry very easily and quickly so if it does simply throw away and make some more 🙂

If you like you can also use cookie cutters and make shapes to use as trinkets or decorations.

Just remember if these are hanging decorations to add a hole at the top prior to baking so that a string or ribbon can be tied through once cooled.

To make dried decorations place your dough cut in shapes on a baking try and place in a hot oven approx 200 degrees for 20 minutes.

Have fun!

 

Jessica Rowe – Strong and Truthful.

I saw this in the Sydney Morning Herald today and felt the need to share.

I love her statements and absolutely Agee, life is not perfect, no one us perfect so don’t be so hard on yourself.

On her 44th birthday, Jessica Rowe shares 44 of the lessons she’s learnt along her life’s journey.

“I need to have a good strong talk to myself” … Jessica Rowe.

My life is in dire need of a steam clean, and there’s no better time to clear away the crap and cobwebs than on a birthday. Tomorrow I turn 44 years old, and I figure it’s a good time to reflect on and celebrate the life lessons I have learnt, still haven’t learnt, should learn and will never learn.

I’ve put together a list of those lessons, but before you groan, this is not a bunch of smug, self-satisfied rules for living. Besides, lists have never been my strong point, as I exist permanently in a state of controlled chaos.

However, if the apocalypse is nigh, my family and I could live quite comfortably in my car. There would be enough to eat, with scraps of food left over from old school lunches, along with stagnant water from half-drunk Disney Snow Queen Elsa water bottles.

And my family would be well-clothed, since I have a mountain of clothes for big and little people in the boot. If you need something to help pass the time, there’s piles of reading material, with a month’s worth of newspapers stacked on the front seat and overdue school library books jammed under the driver’s seat. Plus there are some sparkly purple fairy wings to help you get the hell out of this place if it really is all too terrible …

The unlisty life continues inside our home, with piles of washing, explosions of toys, clean dishes, dirty dishes, books, two cats, four fish surviving in an algae-filled tank, and two tadpoles, named Lily and Rosebud, who are existing in a sludgy, slimy glass bowl. I need to have a good strong talk to myself and take some of the following pieces of advice:

• Don’t worry if your house is a pigsty; it’s a home, not a showroom.

• Never reveal the actual cost of your shoes. They were on sale and an absolute bargain. Besides they’re not new, anyway.

• Stop pretending life is perfect, it’s not; it can be messy, hard and heartbreaking.

• Be honest about the vile times – it gives other people permission to also fess up to their struggles.

• Don’t forget to tell the people closest to you that you love them.

• Return phone calls – but if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your friends. (I do love you, really I do … )

• When you’re faced with boldness, be bolder. (I have to credit Napoleon Bonaparte for that cracker of a quote.)

• You are a good mother.

• You don’t have to have biological kids to be a mum; mothering comes in all shapes and sizes.

• It doesn’t matter if you pushed your baby out of your vagina or had it unzipped out of your stomach. All that matters is that you and your child are healthy.

• Breastfeeding can be hard: it hurts and your nipples can bleed.

• Using formula to bottle feed your babies doesn’t lower their IQ or make you any less of a mother.

• Sometimes you hate being a mum, but it doesn’t mean you hate your kids. They make your heart ache with love. It’s the unrelenting roles associated with the title of “mum” that can wear you down.

• Babies will go to sleep … eventually. (Although I’m still waiting for mine to sleep through the night!)

• Going to the park is boring.

• Playing with little kids all day is boring.

• Being with your kids all day can be blissful.

• Having a break from your children is heaven.

• You feel guilty enjoying time away from your family.

• You feel guilty for not being present, and in the moment with your family.

• You feel guilty for going to work.

• You feel guilty for not going to work.

• Your libido can go missing for a while, but don’t forget the raunchy and sexy woman you have been and still are.

• Nothing beats chocolate in bed and a Swedish crime thriller.

• Vibrators are very handy.

• Men do not notice stretch marks and cellulite; only other women notice the songlines of your body.

• Support other women and the choices they make, even if they’re not your choices.

• Go gently on yourself; you are enough.

• Tracksuits should not be worn outdoors.

• Leopard print is classic.

• You can never have enough sparkle on your clothes and in your life.

• Pink, purple and blue hair rocks.

• Floss your teeth.

• Laughter is the best medicine, but antidepressants come a close second.

• The only normal people in your life are the ones you don’t know very well.

• Be kind.

• Baked beans on toast is okay for dinner every now and then.

• Stay optimistic. It doesn’t mean being a Pollyanna, but cynicism is ugly.

• Don’t lead a safe life, take risks. It is far better to go down in flames than live a small, timid existence.

• Sometimes you have no control over what happens to you, but what you can control is how you choose to deal with it.

• Sugar is good for you.

• It’s not always about you. (But what do you really think about me???)

• Stop worrying about what other people think of you. (Are you listening, Jessica?)

• Ignore lists. Only you know what is best for you and your family.