Tag Archives: hurt

Friendships and Social Media.

When social media overtakes friendships.

I recently had an emotional week where I found myself questioning many aspects of my life. Toying with the idea of starting a business and also had a few events happen that have made me question certain friendships.

I’m quite open with my feelings and some would say that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I had a very dear friend sit me down and give me a reality check, which I must say was much needed.

We were chatting about certain things that had upset me and her honesty was exactly what I needed. She said that I do share a lot on my facebook and instagram pages about what I’m up to and things I’m doing with my two little ones. Her suggestion was to stop. She said I’m too open and that may make people feel as though they don’t need to contact me. They already see it posted, so why the need to contact me?

This gorgeous friend also said that I put too much effort into a lot of my friendships and I should hold myself back. I interpreted that as I may be a ‘needy’ friend but she assured me that’s not what she meant.

She said that I’m the thoughtful one who contacts my friends to ‘check in’ basically. Ask them how they are doing, what they have been up to, and of course, it’s me organising a catch up. My dear friend suggested that I stop doing this also. She said that people just wait for my contact and feel they do not need to contact me or ask how I’m doing as they assume that I will contact them, or they will see on my social media what I’m up to which then allows them to not ‘have’ to contact me. She said many of my friendships are one way. Me putting the effort in and them just taking and not making any effort with or for me.

My feelings were hurt but it made perfect sense. She said that this will show me who actually is a true friend by those who take the time to contact me.

It made me realise, that perhaps social media does allow friends to drift apart?

If it’s all out there to see, why should you contact anyone to see how they are?

I’m an old fashioned person. I like to hear in my friends voices that they are ok. I like to physically see them, have the interaction with them and know that they are ok.

Maybe I’m just a weirdo? Is this weird?

I’ve had a few situations arise where I have been excluded and it has hurt my feelings. Maybe I should just get over it, but then again, why can’t I feel hurt by being excluded? I’ve seen things posted on social media that I was not invited too (not that I need to be included in everything) but certain occasions it’s nice to feel included.

I know that people and friendships change. Gosh I’ve experienced this first hand. When we moved out of our ‘area’ and into a new suburb 45 minutes away, I knew that it would show who I would keep as part of my life and who would no longer need my friendship.

That of course hurt.

I’m the friend who travels to the kids birthday parties in peak hour that are hours away, but I don’t get that in return. I’m the friend who drives an hour to help you settle your newborn baby with my newborn baby on board as you are struggling. I’m the friend who is there at who cares what hour, to listen to your word and comfort you when you feel like your works is about to end. And I’m the friend who offers to look after your toddler and give you rest as you are not feeling well or have morning sickness.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world as I know, that I’ve helped my friends when they have needed to rely on me.

I’ve had friends say 45mins is too far to drive to my daughters 1st birthday party, I’ve had friends cancel on me last minute. I’ve had friends organise outings with mutual friends but deliberately exclude me. It’s those friends who don’t return calls, or texts, or blatantly ignore you, that have hurt me. I’ve felt excluded from many situations. I’m the one who drives the distance with 2 little ones in toe, to visit my friends. Those who are important to me. I make the effort. Is effort to much to ask these days?

So are they friends or are they acquaintances?
Or are they just people who were once part of my life?

I’m trying to understand why some people treat others so distant when they are happy to receive but not put out?

Why are some friendships so one sided?

As I get older and after a few reality checks by my honest and true friends, I’m realising that those who I have called dear friends, are not actually that.

And it hurts, but as the old saying goes, it’s not the quantity but the quality.

I have a handful of good and honest friends who do spontaneously contact me. Just to see how I am, and they don’t want or need anything but to see how I am feeling.

For this I am grateful.

So for the next few months, I will be pulling back. I won’t be posting anything about where I am or what I’m up to. I also won’t go out of my way to contact ‘friends’. This will be my test, to see who actually does care enough about me to contact me. Who thinks about me?

It may be an even harsher reality check for me, but it will definitely show me those who I mean anything to and those who I no longer need to feel that I should be contacting or making an effort for.

Maybe social media does take over our lives?
Maybe I do post too much.

Let’s see how this plays out.

Stay tuned….

Playground correctness

I just read this blog on how parents are worried about the perception from their peers about their parenting.

Fear of judgement in what they believe is good or bad parenting.

It got me thinking. So many parents mostly mothers are so worried about being judged for their parenting style or in some cases ‘lack there off’.

Some parents are helicopter parents and don’t allow their children the opportunity to make mishaps. Constantly hovering to correct the child prior to making a mishap. How can they learn if they don’t experience?

This story speaks about mothers who correct the way their children play. Not allowing them to play in dirt or throw sand or even get dirty.

I agree with the writer here. What happened to allowing our children to play and interact with others at playgrounds and parks without interfering?

Yes I believe a parent should step up and observe their child’s play tactics / antics however I also think that children should be allowed to be children and find their own boundaries. Of course to an extent without harming another.

I’m not a believer of taking your child to the park to play so that you can sit with your phone and get on social media. I think it’s very important to play and interact with your child / children however allow them to grow an be children. Remember they are only children for a short time. Let them enjoy their childhood.

I have been the mother that people snarl at or look down upon. I have a 2.5 year old boy who can be quite boisterous. He plays with dirt and uses sticks as swords and can be a little rough at times but i absolutely step in and discipline him if he decides to get too rough or if I see him beginning to get ‘too much’.

I get judged constantly but I’m used to it.

I’m also the mother who apologies to children and their parents if my child hurts or is mean to another and I do also make my child apologise. Perhaps this could be looked at from many perspectives, I could be seen as the ‘don’t care mother’ who allows their child to play freely and use their imagination and interact with the possibility of rough play or I could be seen as the mother of the ‘naughty child’.

Either way, people will always judge, they will always stare and most people will have something to say about another child be it good or bad.

I allow my children to play freely and be active and imaginative. I’m not going to ‘helicopter’ over them and correct them before they do something (unless I know it’s going to be bad) and I want my children to learn their own boundaries (within reason).

This is a great read. Well written and got me nodding whilst I read it. Go ahead – have a read.

http://blog.kinstantly.com/mommy-correctness-on-the-playground/

Paying for sex is cheating.

MamaMia –

We all know how much I love the MamaMia blog and website!

Here is another read that is thought provoking and I hate to say it, but I totally agree with the author. Well done Rebecca Sparrow!

Cheating is cheating, it doesn’t matter what your trying to blame it on. If you cheat you must take responsibility. I get some marriages may be ‘open’ however paying for sex behind your partners back and in Rebecca’s words, using the family income. Whoever provides the income, it does not matter. You have taken a vow, a broken vow is a broken promise.

Yes I’m opinionated, must of us are, I’m just putting my option out there as Rebecca did and again I say, well done Rebecca.

Many people would be thinking about this interview, cursing or whatever, however don’t be ashamed to say what you think!

Here is Rebecca Sparrows article.

“DON’T SIT THERE AND TELL ME IT’S THE WIFE’S FAULT HER HUSBAND IS SHAGGING AN ESCORT.”

By REBECCA SPARROW

There are days like today when I REALLY wish I worked in an office because Lord, do I need to debrief about what went down on Sunday Night last night.

I’m talking of course about Amanda Goff’s brave and certainly bold interview with James Thomas about her career change. A career change that saw her swap her life as a journalist for one as a highly paid escort in Sydney.

And there is so much I need to unpack and discuss. So I’m just going to write down here everything that is going through my head.

If you didn’t see last night’s interview, you can watch it here. And here’s what News.com.au had to say about it (just to get you up to speed):
By day she’s a 40-year-old mother of two doing the school run. By night, she works as a high-class escort.
Former magazine journalist Amanda Goff — known by her clients as Samantha X — has spoken of her scandalous double life as a secret sex worker.
The Sydney media identity, who has worked at New Idea, Prevention and InStyle, appeared on Seven’s Sunday Night program to promote her new book Hooked – Secrets of a High-Class Escort.
During the candid interview, Goff revealed that she charges $800 an hour for her services or $5000 for a full night from the luxury inner-Sydney apartment where she meets clients.
“I just decided to charge for something that I was doing for free anyway,” she told interviewer James Thomas.
I have no judgement about the fact that Goff is a sex worker. I just don’t. I think if people want to pay for sex for whatever reason – they should be able to do that so long as the female (or male) sex workers are working in safe environments and not being taken advantage of.

So you’re not about to read a rant from me about a woman – even a mother of two small kids – being a sex worker. Her business. Her decision.

But here are the two parts of the interview that I found jarring.
Amanda at her house in Sydney.
1. I’m confused about why Amanda went on national television and told the world she was a sex worker.

I’m sitting here at my laptop wondering if I should be concerned about this or not? Part of me wants to scream, “Your kids are going to get BULLIED. Please don’t do this!” The other part of me thinks, “Why am I saying this mother should be ashamed?” I’m confused. I don’t know what to think. But I do know that it felt wrong to me that Amanda was revealing her identity (which in turn reveals her kids’ identities.). And teasing aside, I would worry about their safety. Selling sex is not like selling Tupperware. I do personally think there is risk involved. Risk of obsession. Risk of stalking. Risk of threats and harm. As much as any of us want to say that men want ‘no strings attached sex” – I think emotions always come in to play. That concerns me. Am I being over the top and out of touch?

2. The bit that really ticked me off was what Amanda had to say about her clients. Here’s just a bit of what she said:

Goff said her services made men “better husbands”. Men, Goff believes, are hard done by and are often neglected by their wives.
“Where else are they going to go to get that outlet? I really do believe that in some cases I make them a happier husband,” she said.
Goff went on to say women needed to do more for their husbands.

“When you take a vow of marriage, men keep to it they provide. Women need to keep to their side to the bargain,” she said.
“I feel for men, I feel they don’t have anyone to talk to.”
Goff’s aim, she said, is to “make men feel desired, listened to and heard”.
Okay, I’m sorry but this is where I call BS.

First up, you’re not helping a marriage when a man has the option (YOU) to turn outside the marriage for sex or comfort or being “listened to”. Your clients want to be listened to? Buddy, go see a marriage therapist. Or, you know, YOUR WIFE. Or a divorce lawyer. Go divorce your wife and then you can spend whatever time you want with escorts.

Second, if these poor misunderstood men just want a sympathetic ear and someone who listens to them – why the need for the big boobs, the inflated lips and the blonde hair? Amanda’s before and after photos are pretty telling. Maybe it’s about them having sex with someone with big boobs, blonde hair and an Angelina Jolie pout? Or do hot chicks make better listeners? Don’t tell me that men are just going to see you Amanda because they want someone who listens to them.

THEY CAN CALL LIFELINE. IT’S FREE.

Lastly, men keep their side of the bargain by ‘providing’? I’m sorry. Is this 1956? I think lots of women are also “providing” an income. And, my bet is these women are also “providing” dinner, and a laundry service and raising children and wiping down the kitchen bench a million friggin’ times.

But in Amanda’s head the wife has to, what? BE HOT?

Men wouldn’t cheat if their wives were prepared to be hot and have sex more often?

And who is this according to?

According to the men who are with Amanda cheating on their wives? Yeah, since we have established that they are CHEATERS – I’m not sure I’d believe them.

It could be that their wives are also having sex with them.

It could be that their wives are running themselves into the ground trying to be ALL THE THINGS.

It could be that these men are philandering arse-hats who spend the family income on escorts.

THAT’S what I have an issue with.

Be a sex worker. Fine. It’s a job. I have no issue with that. But don’t sit there and rehash that old line that it’s the wife’s fault her husband is shagging an escort.

Call it what it is: Cheating.
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/amanda-goff-sunday-night/#lZAy0l2OzhZZ7ZM2.99

Debate or Discussion?

Debate, discussion, communication and opinions.

I’m all for a robust discussion. A disagreement. A difference if opinion. Bring it on.

But so often what I’m seeing from my inside my computer, as a busy mum and blogger is that the average person is hitting the keyboard and secretly saying things online they would never dream of saying in real life.

Words, that they are humiliated and ashamed to say or even own when they are either confronted or are outed.

It’s enough. People are very much I feel happy to write the abusive email, quick text of anger and or a message of nastiness not even thinking of the implications. By hitting send in any communication form or hanging up the phone after that mean message, there will always be implications.

We all have opinion’s and we are all very much entitled to this, please remember though, your message, text, call, email may just be the final tip that really hurts someone, hurts their feelings, emotions and is unrepairable. If you send this to someone who is possible suffering depression or who may be suicidal or in a terrible frame of mind it could be the worst decision ever.

Think before your send. I’ve said this before but every action has a reaction.

You don’t necessarily know how the receiver is feeling of what they are going through. Be kind.

We’re better than this. All of us.

Positive parenting.

Positive parenting

I just came across this great article on positive parenting.

Worth a read. I’ve had a few scared and very judgemental moments where ice wanted to crawl and hide, wish I’d had read this sooner. Great tips on how to deal with such circumstances.

When Children Bite and Strike: 5 Positive Ways To Deal and Heal
Posted by Ariadne Brill

Hitting, pushing, shoving and biting are common ways for preschoolers and toddlers to deal with their emotions. Strikes and bites are often happening because something inside the child, some feeling, like a hiccup, just needs to get out. It could be frustration, upset, sadness, anxiety, fear or a mixed bowl of emotions.

What can we do about it? Very likely, you have heard many suggestions on how to deal with your child’s biting and hitting. Perhaps you have tried time-outs, yelled out of frustration, or taken away a toy. Maybe you have even heard the “bite back” and “strike back” bit of advice but don’t want to go down that path? Would you like to try alternatives based on love, empathy and gentle guidance?

Here are 5 ideas on how to positively deal with a child that hits and bites:

1. Observe: If biting, hitting, pushing has been going on for a little while, chances are you can pin-point some of the situations that bring it about. For a toddler, being upset and not having words to express herself is a common trigger:
For my 20 month old Bella, having toys taken away by her bigger brothers is a sure fire way to get a bite in return. We have worked as a team to instill a habit of “switching” and “asking” for toys as well as respecting when someone is not ready to share.

 

2. Be Pro-Active: Although understanding the reason behind the strike is not a pre-requisite to curbing the problem, being pro-active can reduce the strikes and help our children learn more positive ways to deal with their emotions.
At our weekly playgroup, one 30 month old toddler, Julia*, was keen on hitting my daughter. After the third time, I noticed Julia would strike when I was actively playing with my daughter and Julia was wandering around looking for something to do. Julia would come to strike, her mother would then rush across the room and sternly tell her NO and then walk away again. Julia would move onto the next child she could hit and this cycle would go on and on. The next week, when we started playing with some puzzles, I invited Julia to join us right away. Julia was very happy to do so, and soon her mother joined as well. Julia has not hit Bella for several weeks now – Instead, the girls are learning to play side by side with a bit of guidance.

3. Empathize: If we really take the time to look past the strikes and bites, we can see that the acts are not so much a pre-meditated crimes, but more so outbursts of emotion and a lending a loving ear can help heal the hurt.
When my soon to be 4 year old recently tried kicking and hitting me, I held him close so I wouldn’t get hurt and said “You may not kick or hurt me but I will listen to you. Do you want to tell me what you are feeling?” After some squirming, crying and huffing, he went on to tell me he was really mad. A friend that had been visiting was leaving and he just wasn’t ready to say good-bye. “I hate when people go to their house.” Crying in my arms and having a listening ear was all he needed to recover.

4. Play: For the toddlers as well as for the preschoolers, having an outlet for their frustration, anger or upset is all very important. From roughhousing to playing chase or pillow fights; games that actively allow children to release energy all help prevent biting, hitting and other aggression from building up.
During an unexpectedly long walk up our mountain, my five year old was getting really anxious to get home, he started pestering his brother and poking him (a sign he might start hitting if he gets more worked up.) I suggested we start playing animal safari as we walked. We took turns growling like bears, making elephant noises and lastly roaring like lions. The large breaths of the lion roaring helped Maxi re-focus and relieve some of his energy and soon we were home and nobody had been hurt.

5. Be Firm-Be Kind: Should your child strike you or bite you try to stay calm, show empathy and then with kindness explain the behavior is not alright. Short and descriptive phrases without loaded emotions seem to work best.
“You may not bite your friend. Biting hurts. How about we try to play together?“
“Do not bite. Please try to ask for help.”
“You seem very mad. Hitting is not ok. Do you need something?”

Biting and hitting are a normal part of early childhood and although many parents feel ashamed or embarrassed by this particular behavior, for children it is really just like learning to drink from an open cup, holding a spoon or riding a bicycle…it takes a bit of time, love and lots of patience.

How do you feel when your child hits or bites?

Have you been able to help your child curb biting or hitting?

What has worked for your family?

 

Suffering sinus!

So yet again sinus season has come around. I suffer terribly!

I have found this article on tips to help relieve these terrible symptoms and am willing to try anything.

I found this article on AWS – the wonderful app that is also a website. All Womens Talk

The writer on this subject seems to also be a sufferer to has tried everything!

Thought I’d post and help others 🙂

******************************************
If you suffer from chronic sinusitis, here are a few tips from guest contributor Shari to help you deal with it.

Fed up with constant sinus problems? Sick of stockpiling decongestants and antibiotics? Tell me about it. I’ve tried everything short of spraying Lysol up my nose. Nothing smells of desperation quite like risking permanent damage to one’s olfactory organ for the remote possibility of eliminating sinus pressure. Every year, before I know it, I’m back in the throes my annual six-month sinus infection. Oh, how I love a tall glass of pounding headache in the morning with a shot of facial pain…not. The good news is that I found a combination of remedies that finally kicked my chronic sinusitis to the curb.

1. Spray What?

No worries, I was only kidding about the Lysol. However, grapefruit seed extract (GSE) nasal spray is no joke. In fact, I believe this is the single most beneficial preventative and curative measure I have taken. GSE is a strong natural antioxidant and antibiotic. After using this for several days, all of a sudden—OH EM GEE—I can breathe!

2. Clear The Air

Keep in mind this simple equation: dried-out sinuses + inhalation of germs = chronic stuffy nose and headache. Multiply that by facial pain and you are now the product of a huge sum of nasty disposition. Invest in an air purifier, particularly for your bedroom, and make sure it contains a HEPA filter. (I also have a small unit which uses UV light to sanitize the air. It’s near my desk at work—can’t hurt, right?) A humidifier in your bedroom for dryer months is a must. Mix tea tree oil, lavender oil and eucalyptus oil with apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle to kill mold and germs in the air.

3. Boost Your Immune System

A good-quality probiotic should be an everyday staple for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it aids your immune system. Make sure you put vitamin D in your daily pill organizer next to the multivitamin and vitamin C for the same reasons. Determined to win the battle against my chronic sinus infections, I now ingest many herbal supplements to help strengthen my immune system. After trial and error, I have come to rely on these, my new best friends: goldenseal, elderberry, garlic, oregano, elderberry and astragalus. Warning: buy only reputable brands. Otherwise, you might as well toss your money in the trash can alongside the insurmountable number of tissues you’ll undoubtedly use while in the midst of yet another sinus infection. However, do not begin taking any herbal or vitamin supplements without first consulting with your physician.

4. Natural anti-Inflammatories

Bromelain, an enzyme found in pineapple, is touted for its strong anti-inflammatory properties, particularly for the sinus. Many people are aware of the numerous health benefits of omega 3 fatty acids such as promoting healthy eyes, heart and joints. Add soothing inflamed sinus cavities to its long list of attributes. Research the benefits of turmeric and ginger. These have become essential regulars in my daily supplement regime. Bonus: ginger is purported to help prevent memory problems; if this is true, at least you won’t forget to take the rest of your supplements.

5. Food Basics

I have disciplined myself to drink a nutrient-rich super-green cocktail every day. Okay, it’s actually more like a river-silt flavored super-healthy drink which deceitfully boasts a pleasant berry taste. Nevertheless, it give me me energy and makes my skin look maaaaaahvelous. I now almost like the taste. Almost. Stay away from mucous-producing dairy products but be cognizant of getting enough calcium. Almond milk is a tasty alternative. It is high in calcium and vitamin E and low in sugar. Speaking of sugar, some experts suggest that eliminating it from your diet, along with grain products and caffeine, will cut down on mucous production. Quite frankly, there is no way I can possibly cut sugar, grain or caffeine out of my diet entirely; I just mention it in case your resolve is greater than mine. Try drinking 2T of apple cider vinegar in an 8 oz. glass of water at least 3 times a day at the first sign of symptoms. Apple cider vinegar thins the mucous and is antibacterial and antifungal. Honey and garlic also have antibacterial, antiseptic and antiviral properties.

6. Stick to The Basics

You need to keep up on the basic preventatives. It’s important to keep your sinuses moist with saline nasal spray. Warm compresses are comforting for facial pain and help open the passageways. I can’t say enough about the positive results I’ve gotten from NeilMed® SINUS RINSE™. This method is less awkward than the neti pot. Prescription steroid nasal sprays and daily allergy medications are helpful preventative aids if your chronic sinusitis is a result of allergies. Steaming the sinuses is soothing and helps relieve headaches. (I love the compact personal steamers sold in drug stores).

7. Allergy Proof Your Home

Not only frequent dusting and vacuuming but also regular cleanings of the HVAC system and wall unit air conditioners are super important. Keep your linens and mattress cover clean and dust-mite free. To be honest, I have little personal knowledge of whether regular and meticulous cleanings of my home would benefit my sinuses. If I miraculously develop the gumption to give it a try, I’ll report back.

Shared via allwomenstalk app

P.S – if you have any tips or knowledge on helping relieve sinus or any other allergies, please write me – I’d love to hear from you!

Chapters of our lives.

I have this theory, that we go through chapters in our lives. Much like a novel / book we all have different stages / chapters.

Let me tell you a little about my chapters.

Chapter 1.
I grew up in a small country town in NSW. The whole population of the town where I grew up in is approx 2500 people. There is a lot of farming there especially with dairy cattle.

I did all my schooling there and studied to be a fitness instructor whilst studying my HSC (high school certificate in grade 12) as soon as I completed my HSC I moved to Sydney with my then high school boyfriend and started work in a university gymnasium. I did everything from teaching aerobic classes to one on one personal training, swim coaching, pool life guarding and the customer service desk. That relationship was failing as we were both too young to be 100% committed to the relationship so we called it a day.

Chapter 2.
I met a guy who was in the Royal Australian Navy. I thought he was wonderful and after knowing him approx 3 months, I moved to WA to be with him. This was a whirlwind relationship I was 20yo. After approx 6 months he proposed and I thought he was the ‘one’. Needless to say things turned sour after I found out he was cheating on me. I staied in WA though and soildered on with my life at 21yo.

Chapter 3.
After almost 3 years in WA I decided it was time to be closer to my family. My older sister had just had her first baby – a gorgeous little girl and my brother who was a jackaroo had been involved in a terrible accident and was in hospital with various broken bones, fractures on the skull and punctured lungs. So back to Sydney I moved.

I started working for a transport company selling their services and was romanced by a much younger guy. I was first not interested as we were colleagues however after him chasing me for over 12 months, I allowed him to take me to dinner. I started a new job and thought our relationship would work.

He was 5 years my junior. We actually got along very well and out romance blossomed. I was shortly introduced to his family and being South American, I was welcomed as part of their family and got along with everyone very well. This relationship for lack of a better word was ‘toxic’ he being younger just wanted to go party with his mates and as he lived with his parents an hour from the city he would ‘use’ my place (I loved alone) as a place to stay after his ‘boys nights’. I lived 15 minutes from the city.

I think I staied with him as I loved his family and with mine being 4hrs away from Sydney, I felt part of something as his mother thought if me as her own. She has 3 boys.

After putting up with his antics for almost 4 years I broke it off with him. Bought a new apartment that was mine and started over – again.

Chapter 4.
After being single approx a year and starting my own Jewellery wholesale business I thought my life was in order. Until I met my now husband.

We met at a dance party and I initially thought he was homosexual. We were dancing in a group and everyone was quite risky and he was the only guy not ‘mauling’ the girls. 🙂 until he made his move on me.

After acres hours of him trying to convince me he wasn’t homosexual we kissed. From that night on we were inseparable. We were truly in love and spent all our time together. We went visiting my friends and the first time he told me he loved me was in the rain running home after dinner. We had only been dating a month.

I won’t say our relationship was or is perfect. He is 9 years my senior, divorced, has a now almost 12 yo son to his first wife and was quite the bachelor in between his divorce and our beginning.
The first 2 years of our relationship was rocky, we broke up 3 times as he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a committed relationship. His son and I didn’t really get along, no matter how hard I tried the child hated me. He would ignore me, kick me under the table, throw food at me and basically do anything to annoy me.

My hubby thought this was all to hard on the child so decided to call it quits on our relationship. Instead of disciplining the child the easy option was to break up and eliminate the ‘hard’ part. At every break up we were only apart 2 weeks. He kept coming back apologizing profusely. Saying he loves me and can’t be without me.

Chapter 5.
After dating my now husband for 2 years we decided to live together – well officially live together. We had spent almost every night together since meeting however both owned our own apartments.

On a holiday in Thailand I decided to sell my unit and we decide to rent his out and live together. We rented a gorgeous house that was quite the family home.

Bare in mind, my now hubby was never getting married again nor was he ever having more children (reminder that we have a 15 month old).

We lived happily together for a year when out for dinner one night the bombshell was dropped. ‘I want to see other people’ he said to me. I thought my world was ending.

Chapter 6.
So after he gave me a month to move out – I started my life yet over again. I picked up the pieces and moved on. Well tried to.

I found a new home, I decided to find a new job and I got on with things. We kept in touch and he started dating other people which hurt. People that I knew.

Within 6 weeks we was asking to forgive him. I was receiving text messages daily, being asked for dinners, emails at work and flowers left at my door.

I asked him why should I forgive and why does he feel he deserves a second chance? He had stuffed me around and this wasn’t fair. We had already broken up 3 times, why would I want to put myself through this again?

So I wrote him a long well thought out email with approx 20 reasons as to why I should consider our relationship again.

Each morning on his way to work he would leave a note and a rose on the windscreen of my car answering a question. This went on until every question I had asked was answered. I didn’t take him back that easily though. I made him start proving his love and saying me, and only me again.

Within a week I had a plane ticket emailed to my work, this ticket was to join him in Paris! At first I wasn’t sure but thought – hey he making a good effort here what have I to loose?

On the trip we did all the romantic things and at the top of the Eiffel Tower he have me a diamond ring. No not an engagement ring but a ‘promise’ ring. This was a promise that he would never break my heart again. And he hasn’t!

Chapter 7.
We broke up the last day in January, were back together in April and in Paris in May. In feb the following year he proposed, out our favorite park wit a romantic picnic. He had called in sick from his job that day however I knew something was up.

At around 4pm he called me at work to tell me that he would pick me up as he had a surprise for me. I knew what the surprise was. Let’s say woman’s instinct.

We drove to our favorite place and he had everything prepared and said ‘you know your my best friend right?, you know you mean the works to me right?, I’m
Sorry for the past but I want you in my life for forever, will you make me the happiest man in the works and be my wife? Well I said yes!

Chapter 8.
We started planning a holiday along the Amalfi Coast. His suggestion to my delight was to elope. Just me and him and the Amalfi coast, so romantic and surreal. We had set the date for our family wedding for September that year. 2 weddings within the year I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the universe.

Chapter 9.
After our Amalfi wedding we decided to start and try for a baby. A wonderful addition to our life. This was a horrible set back. I was told I had no eggs and unless I started HRT (hormone replacement therapy) I would not conceive naturally.

So I had booked myself in with Sydney’s best IVF specialist and started alternate therapies including daily Chinese herbs, acupuncture 3 times per week, yoga, meditation, all natural diet- no foods won’t preservatives, no alcohol, no caffeine, nothing that wasn’t natural.

Yes this was tough but I knew I had to do it. I also spoke to my mother and sister about using their eggs. My sister has beautiful healthy children and my mother has 3 also.

All this whilst planning our Sydney wedding. After our Sydney wedding I had my unfortunate dilemma with my boss and friend (previous post ‘friend or foe’) I then got head hunted by a competitor whom I now still work for almost 3 years later.

It took a while but with persistence and a clear mind we fell pregnant in the January. After 9 months trying we had naturally conceived. Our IVF doctor couldn’t believe it. So we canceled the HRT and IVF and monitored the pregnancy very closely.

I was sick – very sick throughout my pregnancy vomiting twice sometimes more daily. But again very well worth it!

Chapter 10.
After 9 grueling but amazing months of pregnancy watching my belly grow, see the ultrasounds, hear my little guys heat beat, feel him move inside me – yes he was super active, all that amazing stuff and more. I had my gorgeous little man in November 2012.

The past 16 months have been sleepless, restless, lots of learning. Motherhood has taught me so much.

It’s thought me to put less pressure on myself, accept mistakes, learn to accept that I’m doing the best that I can every day and stressing about being the perfect mother, wife, employee, step mother and friend is not worth it.

I had this amazing little man enter my world who is tried so hard to get, be totally reliant on me. He didn’t know if I was making mistakes or not doing something right. I was clearly just being hard on myself.

He just needed nappie changes, being fed, being clean and most importantly being loved.

Chapter 11.
So somewhere between getting married in Sydney and falling pregnant (may actually) we moved in with my husbands parents. My hubby took a voluntary redundancy – I know good timing, and to elevate any extra financial stress we rented out our gorgeous home that we bought and moved in with his parents.

We have now been living here now almost 2 years. Thankfully we have also bought our own new home.

We sold our other home 2 weeks ago and now move I to a fresh new family home in 18 days. Not that I am counting 🙂

This is yet another wonderful chapter in my life.

See I believe we all have chapters.

If you sit down and think about where you started and where you are now you are bound to have a few stories.

Think about your chapters. Weather they msgs you laugh or make you cry. We all have a story to tell. Some will appreciate your honesty, others will judge but remember the only important judge on your life is yourself.