Tag Archives: girl

The 3rd child?

So on the weekend my husband bought up the ‘3rd’ child question….

We currently have a 3yo boy and a 17mo girl. I feel complete, and extremely blessed. One of each is perfect for me. I have enough time with each and was questioning how would I manage another? We are in a great routine, they play so well together, they both sleep through the night, they adore each other, why ‘rock the boat’ so to speak.

Well firstly I was extremely shocked that my hubby bought this subject up, as he was the one that never wanted children. I basically gave him the ultimatum. He knew that when he proposed he was definitely having babies with me. He still proposed so he must not have worried too much about this.

Once we had our little man he then again said, no more babies I want my wife back and one is plenty, well again we had a chat and yes, we now also have a daughter. We have 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart, fun, happy and healthy little people. I feel completely besotted by them and am happy with the 2 children so you can imagine the shock when hubby bought up a third.

He was away last week for business and clearly missed us. His conversation Saturday went something like this.
‘Babe, do you ever get a pang for another baby?’

Well I nearly fell off my chair and replied, ‘yes I do, but I thought we agreed that the 2 that we have are perfect?’.

Hubby’s response, ‘after being away the past week I really missed you, little man and princess, I was thinking about having a third with you, would you consider it? Would you put your body through it again?’ (FYI, I get really bad morning/ all day sickness, with complicated pregnancy and difficult to actually fall pregnant)

My response, ‘I would put my body through it, absolutely, but we have 2 amazing little ones, do we really want a third?’

Hubby, ‘Hmmm I know, I just think how great a mum you are, how much our kids adore you and how beautiful our kids are, gives me pangs’.

Me, ‘Hmmm’.

So this was never a position I thought I’d be in. I’m pretty sure I’m completely happy with 2, I am one of 3 and remember that one of my siblings was always left out. I feel like 2 always play together and 1 is on the outer? Not sure. I think I’d want 4 rather than 2.

I know I have enough love.

We will see…..

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_source=FB

A love like no other.

I love the honesty in this post. Again by one of my favourites. ‘Scary Mommy’.

I sometime feel like I’ve made many mistakes with my little guy, my first born and my first amazing unconditional true love. It’s amazing the love we feel fur our children. Well I know the love that I have for mine. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before, very overwhelming yet so satisfying.

I think I speak for most patents when I say there is no greater love than the love we have for our children.

As a middle child myself I always thought that my mother favoured my older sister and younger brother. One because my sister and mother get along more like sisters and are quite similar and my brother, well he is the baby of the family and a boy.

Much like my little man, my brother us a mummy’s boy. Not that there is anything wrong with it. However I used to curse it, but now that I have my own son, I totally understand and accept it.

I adore both my children but when I was pregnant with my little girl, I had similar thoughts. How can I love another as much? Well I have and I do.

Please read this blog, it hit home for me, perhaps it will also for you!
http://www.scarymommy.com/first-child-love-will-never-change/

 

 

Raising children

Raising children..

As most of you know I’m a mummy – twice over! I have a gorgeous little man who will be 3 in November and an adorable little princess who entered this world in May. Both are the absolute loves of my life. I often wonder what I did before them.

I must admit with my little man I did things so differently as to how I am with my little girl. I guess being a first time mum I was very over protective, quite nervous and was scared to make mistakes.

Mistakes? Mmmm well I made a lot of them actually but hey, first time mums are allowed. Actually any mum is allowed as there is no rule book to parenting nor is there any right or wrong way. So perhaps they were not mistakes but experiences?

Where to start? with my little guy I would run into his room to check him each time he cried, even if it was only a slight whimper. I actually slept in the same room as him until he was 17 months old as I feared that I would not hear him if he cried. I pretty much mollycoddled him and wrapped him in cotton wool. You wouldn’t think so now though as he is quite independant and self sufficient for a toddler.

With my little girl, I allow her to cry – now please don’t think I’m a terrible mother or neglect her. I certainly do not, however I don’t run to her if she whimpers or cries a little, as I’ve learnt, that babies can cry in their sleep (dreaming). I have a video monitor that is in her room and also a portable monitor that I carry with me that allows me to see her wherever I am. It also has a microphone on it so that if she is awake and upset, I can talk to her through it – sometimes if she simply hears my voice it settles her. I also can assess her situation without running to her side. I will go get her if she is too upset though, or if she continually cries for a period of time. As a mother you learn your babies cries and can differentiate the cry between hungry, sad, tired or just needing cuddles.

With my little guy, as soon as he cried I would pick him up. Sing to him and I also rocked him to sleep. He didn’t know how to self settle and never had too as he had my undivided attention and I was more than happy to carry him around and rock him to sleep.

With my little girl, I allow her to self settle. If she cries I monitor for how long and will go into her room, gently put my hand on her chest so that she can smell me and also feel that I am with her. I sometimes also shhhhhh. Again if too upset I will pick her up and comfort her but I’m certainly not as clingy on her as I was with my little guy. I constantly watch her through the monitor though πŸ™‚

With my little guy, as soon as he cried I would pick him up and carry him around. Second time around, I just don’t have time to carry her constantly as I do have a toddler to also look after.

With my little girl, I allow her to lay in her rocker or in a safe place and observe what going on around her. Yes I carry and hold her but not constantly. There is defiantly no neglect though.

Now as I said before, there is no right or wrong way to parent, everyone has their own way and no one should judge. Being a parent is hard, especially a stay at home parent. There is no ‘break’. You are followed to the bathroom, asked ‘why?’ A million times per day, you seldom shower without an audience and of course share all your meals, however I’d never change it for the world.

Being a mother is the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever done. It is the only thing that continuously makes me smile and be happy. To hold my children is a blessing and to watch them sleep at night then get a good morning kisses and cuddles makes my day. They make me whole.

What I have learnt from both my children is that firstly I’m a lot more relaxed with my little girl, perhaps confident? I know she isn’t going to die from a little cry, I know that self settling is a good thing for both her and I and I have also learnt that although she is a gazillion percent reliant on me, she is ok to lay in her rocker and watch the works go by. I’m never far away and she doesn’t always need to be held it carried around. πŸ™‚

I love both my children equally, there is no favouritism – they are both my absolute world. I’m besotted by them. They make me who I am today and I’m forever grateful that I have 2 gorgeous children that I made.

They are part of me and no matter how over tired I am or how many times I’ve played the same game or sang the same song, they make me happy. Dirty nappies and all. πŸ™‚

Id love to hear your parenting experiences. Email me noordinarymummy@gmail.com

She is here!

For all my loyal readers I want to apologies for my lack of posts lately.

I’ve been a little pre occupied of and I hope that you understand why, my little princess arrived 3 weeks early!

It has been a whirlwind of emotion and I am yet again besotted.

I thought I knew what love was when approx 2.5years ago I welcomed my gorgeous lil man into this world.

Today I feel absolutely besotted, proud, fulfilled and over joyed with love and happiness all over again.

My lil family is now complete.
Two precious little cherubs to love, adore, enjoy, watch grow and protect for forever more.

Let me take you through my journey.

I had been on weekly ultrasounds and checkups with my midwife as my little miss was measuring small. On the lower 10th percentile on the growth chart which had our midwife and obstetric is slightly concerned.

Now hubby not myself are big units however our amazing little man was born 3.53kg and 53cm long. Our lil miss was measuring approx 2.3kg. Quite a big difference.

After my ECG – where they turned my little princess successfully she engaged straight away, I was displayed though however at that time, I could have dilated easily as my cervix was apparently ‘ripe’ and ‘soft’.

Going back to those past 2 weeks, I had my regular weekly ultrasound on the Tuesday followed by my midwife appointment on the Thursday. After the appointment I had a CTG which is a monitor that listens to the baby’s heart. My little miss had a strong healthy and regular heart beat which was reassuring.

She was still measuring small so I then went onto daily check ups. So with my little man, packed up for a few hours we were in the hospital room. Mummy hooked up to these monitoring machines to check little miss and my little man – who was so well behaved, watching a DVD and snacking.

After being monitored for 6 days straight we were advised that our little miss hadn’t grown within 2 weeks, not gained any weight nor had her head or stomach circumference had changed and that the best and safest option would be an induction.

The induction was set for 3pm on Wednesday. I had my bag packed my little miss’s bag packed and my mother had came to stay with my little man.

I was filled with various emotion as id never left my little man before for any longer than 10 hours. So leaving him over night I was heart broken. I was however exited that the time has come to meet my little girl.

After getting the brief on how I was going to be induced I was feeling very nervous.

The obstetrician decided that cervadil was going to be the better option as its a slow release. Releasing 2mg of the induction drug every 6 hours over a 12 hour period. A long process but as my lil miss was small they didn’t want complications and wanted it to be as stress free as possible. Well that didn’t really happen….

After the cervadil was inserted approx 2 hours later my contractions started.

They were quite intense and were lasting a few minutes each time and approx 15 minutes apart. With this I got cramps down my right leg and in my right bottox cheek – very painful. The contractions were coming on closer and closer then at 10pm after 5 hours of fast intense contractions my little miss was distressed and her heart was beating irregular.

They had to stop the labor and calm her. They took the cervadil out and I was put on a drip and given morphine to stop the contractions as I was also still not dilating. I was told to rest over night and they would try again in the morning.

I was quite exhausted and tried my best to sleep but was being constantly monitored and slept with the CTG machine on me which also limited my comfort level but that was nothing as I wanted what was best for my little girl.

The next morning the midwife and obstetrician decided that perhaps the best thing to do would be to break my waters and see how my body reacts and if I dilate that way.

Well at 9:25am my waters were broken and within 15 minutes I was in full on contractions again.

The contractions were lasting over 3 minutes and were only 2 minutes apart. Very fast and very intense. They became faster and longer and closer together. The whole labor only lasted 2 hours as my little miss was born at 11:25am.

As the contractions were so intense I had no time for pain relief. I had gas only. Which helped a little but as the contractions were so intense I struggled to breath and catch my breath so was also ‘blacking out’ due to the pain. Within the 2hours that I was in labour, my husband recalls me blanking out 4 times.

I also hemoraghed and lost a great amount of blood that required me to have 6 bags of fluid administered via a drip followed by a iron infusion that took over 6 hours via a drip. They considered a blood transfusion but we’re hoping that the fluids would work, which they did.

My little miss was born at 1.88kg and 44.5cm long. Teeny tiny but healthy! Yay!

I was exhausted and felt completely out of it, my little miss was also exhausted as she was so small she was tube fed for the first 3 days. I expressed my breast milk and it was syringed into a tube that went down her nose.

I felt relived that she was ok and born strong and healthy however also was upset that she was tube fed. It was for the best though and did only last 3 days.

After 5 nights in the hospital we were discharged and allowed home. Back with my little man and husband. Back into my comfort zone and able to settle into my family of 4.

I feel so complete and in love. I have these 2 amazing children whom I love more than imaginable. No words to describe the happiness or fulfilment that I have for these 2 little people.

Since being home my baby girl has had continual weight gain and is now 2.14kg her 00000 clothing is too big but she is going to grow into them.

Stay tuned and I promise to write again soon.

Battle of the names!

Battle of the names!

So as my due date approaches hubby and I are trying to come up with names that we both like and can of course agree on to babe our little girl – Yep we are having a little princess.

My family is now complete, a little man and a little girl.

I only ever wanted 2 children and thought it would be ideal to have one of each – however I would have been extremely happy with 2 boys but am blessed to have been given the gift of one of each. I feel like my little family is perfect.

Now the tough part – coming up with a suitable name that suits both hubby’s name, my name and her big brothers name.

Hubby’s name is 3 syllables but we shorten it to single syllable, my name is also 3 syllables again we shorten it to single and my little mans name is single syllable so of course I’d like another single syllable name.

Problem is that we agree on something then hubby tells someone and they of course have negative comments which then puts him off that name.

Why is people feel the need to pass comment on things that don’t directly include them?

I mean I find it rude when people comment on chosen names and what bugs me most, is that it’s not even their child that is being named so why do they feel they have the right to pass comment on such things?

My little guy wants to call her twinkle but of course that’s out of the question but then there are others who are making suggestions also and putting down our choices. It has nothing to do with them right? Am I alone with my thoughts on this matter?

Naming a child is quite personal and there are many factors to consider including if it goes with the surname – our of which is quite peculiar so that’s a major consideration. Then there is the middle name factor, I’m quite traditional in the sense that I like the middle babe to be a family name possibly derived from a grandparents name or close relation. So coming up with a first name can be tricky!

What are some of your favourite girls names that are single syllable?

My list is as follows;

We had however agreed on a first and middle name for our little princess, though after a few various inputs today when hubby’s disclosed what we liked to some people and they passed negative comments, he now doesn’t like what we had chosen.

Back to square one!

Ava
Eve
Bo
Mila
Milly
Lou
Ella
Belle

Then a few others that Id consider;

Arabella
Eadie
Avery
Chloe
Codi
Phoebe
Halle
Leni
Lola
Lila
Layla
Lexi

Tell me your favourites. I’d love to hear from you.

Please also tell me your thoughts on people having their say on your choice of baby name.

I know everyone has an opinion but should it really be their choice on that you call your child?

Email me at – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Manipulation.

Manipulation and mind games.

So apparently all children can manipulate? I agree with this statement to an extent.

My little one certainly tries to manipulate me, he does this by being very cute, snugging up then asking me to play. Ok so this isn’t typical manipulation but it’s a form right?

This leads me to my next point. How many types of manipulation are there and what are they?

At what age do children start to manipulate?

Do they understand what they are doing? They may not know or understand the word, but I’m pretty damn sure a lot of children know what they are doing.

I know a lot of adults who manipulate on a regular basis, it often makes me wonder if they realise what they are doing, or are they simply that way inclined?

Is manipulation part if our personality?

Is it embedded in some of us?

Do these people enjoy manipulating?

Why do they feel they need to manipulate to get what they want?

Do that have that low of self esteem that they feel they have to manipulate?

Are they simply negative and nasty people who feel they deserve to be this way?

And my questions keep rolling…..

Manipulation is mainly know as ‘mind games’. These type of mind games I believe can be innocent or much more purposeful and deceiving. Most manipulation is used to ‘get what you want’ right? Why else would people play ‘mind games’?

As human beings, our emotions often take over our judgments therefore making it difficult for us to see the reality behind some certain hidden agendas or motives in different forms of behaviour. (Manipulation)

The controlling aspects or shrewdness can be linked to manipulation that are sometimes very subtle and may be easily overlooked, pushed aside, lost under feelings of obligation, love, or in fact our daily personal habits.

 
To understand the characteristics of a manipulative personality is not always easy as they may not always obvious. This can be because they play a silent game of building up obligations toward them. In the end it makes you feeling guilty, pressured, and obliged to carry out things for their sake even though you’re still wondering how things got to this point. How did they manage to get you to do this or behave that way?

I’ve found that the best way to judge a manipulative person is to observe their actions. Be a little patience with this and start with being polite and nice to them and saying thank you for letting me know this need to be done this way. Sooner you will come to know their reality. Actions speak louder than words.

Some manipulative people will guide people to do things in certain way. Telling them that doing do thing a particular way is for everyone’s good. In actual fact they don’t want to change themselves and want to stay in their own comfort zone. So these manipulative people will tell you stories about how someone else’s actions created problems for everyone. They might try scare tactics by also telling sad endings like he/she was asked to leave by everyone etc etc. Don’t fall victim to their stories. Just do what you think is right and essential. Of course considering others comfort also. But don’t sacrifice your rights and thoughts for them.

A martyr style personality behaves as if they are being considerate toward other people but is actually messing up considerateness with a need to be significant to you. By “martyring” themselves, they are doing things nobody has asked of them or wants them to do but in the process creates a ‘bind’ when they do them. In “doing you a favor”, their expectation increases that you have to return their favor. This type of person may also complain constantly about all the things they do for you and wonder rhetorically when you’re going to return this favor…

Excessively needy and dependent personalities tend to be people who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, this type of personality you will find often puts forward their own opinions and ideas which can quite often be hiding their manipulative behavior so that it seems as if you are responding on your own accord even though they’ve set up everything to have you respond directly to their neediness.

Narcissists. This is the archetypal manipulative personality and it’s very hard to deal with this master manipulator.

You. Seriously, at one time or other, every single one of us will practice manipulative behaviors in one form or other. It is just that for most people, manipulative actions tend to be one-off or only occasional instances rather than a purposeful map for daily living and interaction with others.

It’s interesting to note the possible types of ways in which people try to manipulate one another.

There are some key behaviors that can end up in manipulation, and it’s helpful to know how to spot them before walking right into them. Some are below.

The assumption statement – this manipulative tactic seeks to turn your behavior into what the beholder perceives it as, whether or not their interpretation is accurate. This soon leads to a guilt trip because no matter what happens, your rejection is proof of the assumption.

He said, she said – this manipulative ploy is pseudo-sociology in action. The manipulator takes it upon themselves to tell you what someone else said was the right thing to do. A third party perhaps your employer, partner or friend. It’s a handy way of pushing aside the responsibility from themselves while loading it all onto you.

The confronting statement is a manipulative approach set about to cause an argument. That way, the provoker will end up making you feel terrible over something you didn’t actually do or say but for which they believe you should feel guilty over anyway and they’ll get a huge chunk of sympathy from others with which they start to manipulate you all over again.

Self-pity manipulation, claiming to be unloved/sick/victimized, etc. At times each one of us has times when we’re really in need of some tender self-care but long-term manipulators can make a habit of being the victim or the one needing special attention. This often happens when you may be getting attention and they long for the attention. This can also be seen as ‘attention seeking’ quite often manipulators are also attention seekers.

The guilt trip – this manipulative behavior seeks to make you feel guilty and is aimed at sending you into the land of “should” rather than standing up for your own values.

Guilt trips are also really high on the list of manipulative personality tools. If you can get someone else to feel guilty, then you’re done! Only trouble is, people wear out after being made to suffer guilt trip after guilt trip and then the manipulator who thinks that he or she is on to a good thing here eventually will lose respect, friends, and will be distanced by those who can’t get away, such as family and co-workers. One of the key things to remember with ‘guilt trippers’ it’s hard to escape the guilt trip. The sooner you stop it the better, and that it’s their guilt trip, not yours.

No matter what age, we can all seem to ‘manipulate’ to some extent to get what we want at some point in our lives.

Fact is some people seem to do it more often to gain what they feel they deserve.

What are your thoughts on manipulation?