Tag Archives: experiences

Happy Anniversary

3 years.

Yes, it’s been 3 years since I started this blog. Gosh how quickly time flys!

I started it as something for ‘me’ somewhere I can ‘vent’, share experiences and thoughts, it has changed my life and brought me much satisfaction. It has changed me and the way I live my life. Interesting how when you put pen to paper, thoughts and feelings stream along with the after thought of, hey should I post this? Is this too honest? Am I being too open?

Writing a blog requires your time, devotion, commitment, and discipline. Blogging is considered similar to that of a personal journal. It has helped me to be observant of my life, who I allow close to me and gives purpose to my personal growth. It has trained my mind to track life and articulate the changes I’ve been experiencing.

When writing a personal blog, your blog becomes a digital record of your life that is saved “in the cloud.” As a result, it can never be lost, stolen, or destroyed in a fire. Almost consider it a ‘time capsule’.

When I started this blog I had many new things and changes in my life. I’d not long had my first child, I’d recently left my job and we moved our family into the suburbs where I knew no one. It was a huge life change, and so far for the better. Hard at first as I’d left all my ‘familiar’. I had no friends where we moved too, I was putting my little man into a preschool where I knew no one, it was s while new chapter. At first I felt lost and lonely but then I was connecting with other bloggers and readers of my blog. I know some may feel this is a ‘fake’ or ‘questionable’ communication, but it was communicating and to me, it helped me to feel connected with the outside world, in what was unfamiliar territory.

My blog is allowing me to communicate with others, maybe not face to face, but I now have over 6000 followers across my webpage, Facebook and twitter accounts. An achievement that I’m proud of as I don’t self promote nor do I pay for any advertising, oh and I don’t have advertisements on my blog.

To me my blog is about recording thoughts and feelings on paper and opening up and sharing my experience with others, allowing readers to either agree or disagree with me and my writing. Everyone has their own opinion and you may find blogging requires a filter. It’s simply not possible to write about every event, every thought, and every happening in your life. It’s ok to be open and personal, I just think for me especially, I like to hold a little back. Keep some things private.

I’ve found since starting writing my blog about my life and the thoughts that shape it, I’m more inclined to think more intentionally about who I am, who I am becoming, and whether you like what you see or not. Only you can change your thought process and only you can change the way that you live.

Whether it be through comments, e-mails, or social media, you may be surprised at how quickly you meet people on-line. And by meet people, I mean legitimately form relationships that seek to serve one another, a common ground and shared experiences. I’ve found that the blogging community is friendly, encouraging, and most people genuinely are wanting for you to succeed.

Blogging not only changes your life, it also changes the life of the reader, because blogs are free for the audience and open to the public, on many levels, it is an act of giving. It is a selfless act of service to invest your time, energy, and worldview into a piece of writing and then offer it free to anybody who wants to read it. Others may find inspiration in your writing… and that’s a wonderful feeling. There will always be negativity but I try not to allow those negative comments to overtake me. It’s hard yes, but I also know that what I write is the truth and how I feel or what I’ve experienced.

I’ve tried to write about many of my life events. I try not to be to open but still give enough to be relatable.

I’m not a regular blogger, but I do write when I feel inspired.

In my past 3 years of blogging, I’ve perhaps had 2 blogs that have had mean, nasty or negative responses and reactions. I don’t purposely try and create these responses, I simply write about my or someone close to me, life events and sometimes others can relate a little too well and take offence.

If your considering to start a personal blog, I’d say go for it. Give it a go and if you find it’s not for you, nothing lost, but if you love it! Yippee!

So on that note, happy anniversary No Ordinary Mummy! 💕

Emotions.

Emotions and crying when angry.

Emotions are funny aren’t they?

They make us laugh, cry, smile, happy, frustrated, angry, irritated and much more.

I was going back through some of my old study note’s from when I was studying to become a counsellor. A topic that I came across was emotions and how we deal with them. I remember finding this subject quite interesting and one that I actually got great marks in my assessment for. (Quiet pat on my own back )

Emotions can get the better of us and in some cases can cause people to react or act irrationally.

I started reading through these notes and thinking about my personality and how I react to different situations. I know that when I’m extremely angry I cry. I find it hard to control. It’s almost like I get wild sensation come over me and tears come pouring out.

Some may say this is a sweet softer side of me, I’m also known to be quite hot headed and protective. (Yes I can loose it but I’m mainly ‘ticked’ and will become extremely protective, especially of my children or those close to me. I become a Mumma bear and hath have no fury like a Mumma pushed too far! 😉)

As I have aged I have learnt to ‘wind in’ my hot head and be more diplomatic but in some situations my tears still stream with anger. I suppose tears are better than yelling at someone or becoming violent right? I suppose it’s the more mature reaction but, I sometimes feel as though my tears are not seen for what they are (anger) and could be seen as sadness, defeat or fear?

Sometimes children cry with frustration when they can’t describe or control their emotions. They get sad when they don’t get their own way and cry right?

I cry with anger. With my anger, it’s generally because I feel as though my thoughts and values have been attacked, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and thoughts and no ones are right or wrong. We are all different therefore have different values. Who says your interpretation of something is right and mine is wrong? Or vice versa?

The physical sensations when I feel personally attacked or angry are similar to anxiety, which for me include a racing heart and tightness in the body. I loose my appetite, feel hot, feel like my face is sunburnt and feel a pressure in my chest, almost like someone is pushing against me. It’s weird but that’s how my body deals with it.

I have tried for many years to control the tears when I’m angry, but sometimes this emotion overcomes my control.

What I have learnt from negative emotions though is that if we dwell on it or allow it to manifest in us. They will overtake our lives and make us miserable.

Negative emotions stop us from thinking and behaving rationally and seeing situations in their true perspective. When this occurs, we tend to see only we want to see and remember only what we want to remember. This only prolongs the anger or grief and prevents us from enjoying life.

The longer this goes on, the more entrenched the problem becomes. Dealing with negative emotions inappropriately can also be harmful – for example, expressing anger with violence.

Some people can be overly emotional or sensitive, which is fine everybody is different. For me learning about emotions whilst studying to be a counsellor has helped me to understand other people’s personalities a little more. Reading their body language and reacting appropriately to their feelings.

I think the biggest factor for me personally, and what stands out from my studies is that negative emotions also can manifest in personal insecurities, general unhappiness, stress and anxiety which can lead to depression.

I know a few people who suffer depression and are on medication for it. Depression for some is described as a disease. I won’t go into depression as that’s a whole other topic and I could blog about it all day, a subject close to my heart. However emotions are natural, we cannot control them fully and we will never fully understand them.

Emotions are psychological (our thoughts) and biological (our feelings). Our brain responds to our thoughts by releasing various hormones and chemicals into our blood stream which send us into a state of arousal. All emotions come about this way, be it positive or negative. It’s complex and can be overwhelming which can also make it hard to overcome.

What we need to learn to do more is, let go of what has made you angry or emotional – constantly going over negative events preoccupies you and stops you from living in the ‘present’ and will manifest in making you feel sad and unhappy.

My life as a mummy of two!

My life as a mummy of two!

So settling into being a mummy of two has been challenging. Loving it, but challenging.

Experiencing the love all over again, smelling and absorbing my new born and still being everything I can be for my 2 year old.

My 2 year old has been a little jealous and understandably. He has had his mummy all to himself for the past 2.5years, now all of a sudden he has to share his mummy and it hasn’t been an easy adjustment for him.

Throughout my pregnancy I was trying to help him adjust, I bought books about becoming a big brother, books about expecting a baby and we would chat about how he is getting a little sister and that it’s very special for both him and her.

I thought he would be a little jealous but I guess I wasn’t prepared for the huge change in him.

Firstly my little man used to be a fairly good sleeper. After night nurses and reward charts I had managed to get him to go down approx 6pm in his own bed, we would read 3 books then it was lights off. My little man would then sleep through in his own big boy bed until approx 6am the next morning.

Since I was in hospital for over a week my husband and mother were looking after my little man. His routine wasn’t really followed and for a few weeks he didn’t like to go to bed and wasn’t sleeping through, waking multiple times per night and insisting on sleeping with me and leaving his bedside lamp on.

The first few nights I was really strict and walked him back to his room, comforted him and helped him to go back to sleep but after 5 nights of the same behaviour I began to feel bad and allowed him to come into my bed and sleep with me.

Mainly because it’s a huge adjustment and in between feeding my little girl every 2.5 hours I have been pretty tired. Also secretly I love snuggling with him and he is my little man, my first born and always will be.

This phase only lasted approx 3 weeks though and now he is happy to go to his own bed, he isn’t sleeping through every night, however most nights he does, and if he doesn’t he is only waking once or twice and I carry him back to his room and he goes back to sleep.

He is really sweet with his sister and is quite protective and loving towards her. If he hears her cry he will come straight to me and tell me she is upset and he also runs to her room and says in the sweetest little voice ‘you ok Mila?’

He also loves to help me change her nappy and I allow him to choose her outfits. I want him to feel involved and part of her life. Although he is only 2.5years old I think that by allowing him to be a big part in the decisions around her will help him to adjust and accept her more easily and not have him be as jealous or feel left out or pushed aside.

My little girl though is a different story, she sleeps very well and I actually wake her to feed. During the day I’m feeding every 3 hours however of a night I let her sleep and she wakes me. She is only 3 weeks old though and I anticipate that this may change.

The dynamic in the house has also changed, it feels complete now. I feel like I’m whole. My little man and my little princess have completed me, of course with my husband. 🙂 I was once told that to have one child of each sex is a ‘gentleman’s family’ or a ‘pigeon pair’ which is apparently quite well looked upon in the eyes of some. I feel blessed that I have been able to create this little family with my husband and also be able to give him a child of each sex.

Being a parent is a constant lesson, I’m always learning more about myself but also about my children. I’m feeling very blessed at this stage in my life.

I’m sure with each step and change in growth patterns with my 2 children things within our home will change also with dynamics and learning. I look forward to sharing these moments with you.

Authors? Journalists? Bloggers?

Authors

Just putting it out there, I was told blatantly the other day that unless you have writing qualifications you shouldn’t blog.

I was taken aback but then thought how rude and self absorbed the person who said it must be. Are they are simply saying or implying that unless your a professionally or academically trained writer you should write? Or that what you write isn’t worth reading? Or perhaps they don’t care to know about every day life with every day people? Do they think they are more superior? Who knows!

I get that must blogs are written by journalists or perhaps published authors but the cast majority of blog are written by everyday people for everyday people.

Which brings me to my next thought.

What is a blog?

Many people have different ideas about what a blog should or shouldn’t be. After much internet searching I’ve discovered –

blog
blɒɡ/
noun
1.
a personal website or web page on which an individual records opinions, links to other sites, etc. on a regular basis.
verb
1.
add new material to or regularly update a blog.
“it’s about a week since I last blogged”
“he blogged the Democratic and Republican national conventions as an independent”
Origin

1990s: abbreviation of weblog.

Or definition by Wikipedia

A blog (a truncation of the expression weblog)[1] is a discussion or informational site published on the World Wide Web and consisting of discrete entries (“posts”) typically displayed in reverse chronological order (the most recent post appears first). Until 2009 blogs were usually the work of a single individual[citation needed], occasionally of a small group, and often covered a single subject. More recently “multi-author blogs” (MABs) have developed, with posts written by large numbers of authors and professionally edited. MABs from newspapers, other media outlets, universities, think tanks, advocacy groups and similar institutions account for an increasing quantity of blog traffic. The rise of Twitter and other “microblogging” systems helps integrate MABs and single-author blogs into societal newstreams. Blog can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.

The emergence and growth of blogs in the late 1990s coincided with the advent of web publishing tools that facilitated the posting of content by non-technical users. (Previously, a knowledge of such technologies as HTML and FTP had been required to publish content on the Web.)

A majority are interactive, allowing visitors to leave comments and even message each other via GUI widgets on the blogs, and it is this interactivity that distinguishes them from other static websites.[2] In that sense, blogging can be seen as a form of social networking service. Indeed, bloggers do not only produce content to post on their blogs, but also build social relations with their readers and other bloggers.[3] There are high-readership blogs which do not allow comments, such as Daring Fireball.

Many blogs provide commentary on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries; others function more as online brand advertising of a particular individual or company. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, Web pages, and other media related to its topic. The ability of readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important contribution to the popularity of many blogs. Most blogs are primarily textual, although some focus on art (art blogs), photographs (photoblogs), videos (video blogs or “vlogs”), music (MP3 blogs), and audio (podcasts). Microblogging is another type of blogging, featuring very short posts. In education, blogs can be used as instructional resources. These blogs are referred to as edublogs.

On 16 February 2011, there were over 156 million public blogs in existence.[4] On 20 February 2014, there were around 172 million Tumblr[5] and 75.8 million WordPress[6] blogs in existence worldwide. According to critics and other bloggers, Blogger is the most popular blogging service used today, however Blogger does not offer public statistics.[7][8] Technorati has 1.3 million blogs as of February 22, 2014[9]

So my interpretation of this and again many people will see it as they want to, a blog is something someone or a group write which allows them freedom of speech. They write about their passions, feelings, experiences, hobbies, anything that they like.

Is this right or wrong?

There are many celebrity gossip blogs out there and many personal blogs out there. They can be written on anything from interior design, cooking, fitness, mummy tips, parenting tips, shopping, styling anything!

So my question is, if you get offended or assume something is written directly at you. Don’t read it.

Everybody is allowed their own opinions and for the most part as long as names are not mentioned a blog is almost like someone’s vent or personal diary. Their win right to post what they like.

There are many controversial blogs out there and there are many readers for many blogs. Each to their own I say and again, if you don’t like it, don’t read it!