Tag Archives: daughter

School age debate.

School age debate.

I know this is a topic, often a spoken about, not always a positive topic, yet a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion on. So I thought that I would ‘chime in’ also as recently there was a ‘heated’ debate about it in the kindergarten playground.

I was faced with a confronting and unwelcome conversation last week by a woman that I don’t know. I was standing in the kindergarten playground chatting with other kindergarten mothers about nothing in particular when a mother that I had never met before starting making comments about our children.

See, we all have children who started kindergarten this year, and we also coincidentally have children that are turning 3 this year some boys, some girls. So when this woman passed comment that our ‘babies’ will also be going through school together, I said “that’s great will your daughter be going to kindergarten 2020?”. Not realising I had just unleashed her favourite topic!

She quickly responded with ‘no, my daughter is going 2021, why would you send your daughter early?, I mean sending a child too young has so many negative effects on them, why would you do that to her?”. I almost felt like I was being personally attacked, or that I was making a terrible decision and possibly ruining my dear daughters life.

I was taken aback – which rarely happens, and because of my silence, this woman thought it was her right to then lecture me on all the negative reasons as to why I should wait and send my daughter to kindergarten when she is 5 turning 6. You see, in her opinion sending my daughter 4 turning 5 in the May, is way too young and will undoubtedly end with teen pregnancy, under age drinking, lack of intelligence, slow learning, being left out of rep sporting teams, being easily influenced by others, difficulties with learning and socialising, and her extensive list went on. And on. And on. (Her words)

I was horrified at her response. I mean. This is the first time I’d ever met her. What a front she has to lecture anyone on their family decisions and what is best for someone else’s children. Too opinionated for my liking, that is for sure.

It really put me in a weird mindset, it made me question my husband and my decision and left me feeling quite angry and deflated. This was mind you, first thing in the morning so it played on my mind quite a lot that day. I spoke to a few friends throughout the day to vent and also get their opinions, of whom I value, and they, my friends much like myself, are of similar mindset with the school age decisions.

I also spoke to my little mans kindergarten teacher later that afternoon as this woman’s righteousness was confronting. I wanted to speak to a teacher who deals with children of varying ages on a daily basis and this teacher also, has over 13 years primary school teaching behind her. The kindergarten teacher is also of the same mindset as myself. That is, that each child is individual and ready at their own pace and in their own time.

I think I will have a better idea as to when we should start her in kindergarten once she starts preschool, however at the moment, my little miss who is not yet 3, knows her alphabet, can count to 20, dresses and undresses herself, copies and repeats her big brothers sight words, mock reads books, is extremely social, not shy, is really confident, will sit colour and draw by herself, can hold a pen or pencil with correct pen grip, will listen and take instruction and can sit through a whole movie, I think I will be ready but time will tell.

All kids are in my view, are individual and each to their own, however with this woman’s rant it got me thinking of all the negative effects that sending a child to school 5 turning 6 May encounter.

A few that really stand out to me are,
– Being an adult doing their HSC.
– Being 18, which is legal age to drink in Australia, which may mean the 18 year old who is still in high school, can and possibly will go out drinking. Is drinking whilst at school appropriate?
– Being older and holding a drivers license which at involve having other school children driving with them.
– Being older and influencing younger students mindsets.
– Wanting to ‘grow up’ too young.
– Will they get distracted or bored easily from being older?

Look, I get that this is a very personal topic, I think that either way, sending your child at 4 or 5, if you are raising your children in a way that you feel appropriate and comfortable with, your child will make the right decisions. They will know what is acceptable and hopefully make good decisions. It’s very individual based on each child differently.

I see valid points from both sides, however what I didn’t appreciate was being ‘force fed’ this woman’s opinion and how forthcoming she was with telling me how terrible I was as a parent for even considering sending my daughter to kindergarten at age 4 with her birthday in May.

What are your thoughts?

 

autism

A friend of my husbands wrote this beautiful piece about his son who has been diagnosed with autism.

It was published in The Sun Herald here in SYDNEY this past Sunday. (Which also happened to be Australia’s Father’s Day)

The writer, my husbands friend, speaks about his acceptance of his child, how he will love him no matter what and will do everything to ‘help’ rather than ‘fix’ his beautiful innocent son.

Such a touching piece of writing and very well said.

http://m.dailylife.com.au/life-and-love/parenting-and-families/i-learned-to-let-go-of-the-urge-to-fix-my-son-20150904-gjfdr8.html

Attempted break in.

Attempted break in

So not that long ago we had an attempted break in, into our home.

It was approx 9:30pm at night and someone tried to break in through my little girls bedroom. She is only 8 weeks old and was in bed at the time.

There are French doors onto a balcony off her room which is where they tried to get in.

I was laying in bed watching TV when I heard a door handle tattle as though someone was trying to open it but couldn’t. You know the sound when your opening a door but it’s locked and it rustles? Well that’s the sound.

This sound kept happening for approx 30 minutes – it started about 9pm. At first I didn’t think much of it, I thought it was my husbands eldest son who is almost 13 in the bathroom but as it kept happening I though best I’d check it out.

As I walked from my bedroom hubby’s son was standing outside my door scared. He had heard it too, as we both stood still it happened again. It was coming from my daughters bedroom. She is 8 weeks old. I grabbed my phone and started to call my husband who was downstairs working on his laptop but he had his phone on silent as he wasn’t answering.

I decided I’d go downstairs and get him. Hubby came up and as he went out to investigate, the attempted intruder ran, they had entered our property from a reserve that we back onto then they came through our tennis court and up into a balcony which is s good 2-3 meters high and into my daughters balcony.

I called the police and within minutes they were at our house. I think they arrived as I ended the call to the police station. They were very prompt and made me feel thankful.

They walked our property and saw foot prints but unfortunately the offered we had managed to get away. Perhaps they were in hiding down in the scrub of the reserve behind our property boundary.

They next day I went outside to look for possible entry points and to see if there were more footprints and yes there were. Not implying that they had came back but just confirming which areas of our property they had been on. I know they were not our foot prints as it had been raining and these prints were quite fresh. They has also been around the front of our home as we have a pebble path with loose pebbles and the pebbles were embedded with large foot prints. The police didn’t walk that path. That particular path is right outside mine and my 2 year old sons bedrooms.

So the following day I arranged various security company’s to come and investigate what updated security systems and measures we need. They have since been installed.

Although I have been concerned as I do have 2 young children. I can’t say that I was overly scared as my thought process is that, if someone wants to get in bad enough, they will find away.

Perhaps I’m arrogant towards the situation but I’m not going to allow this to scare me or change the way I live. Why should I live in fear, especially within my own home? All I can do is protect myself and my family.

My biggest concern is if the proposed intruder was on drugs and how they may react or behave. That there is out of my control.

We have even more secure systems and high tech alarms in place now and security and the police patrolling the area on a more regular basis.

Have you had a break in or attempted break I’m?

I’d be interested in hearing your story. Email me – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Mia Freedman

26 beauty truths only mothers understand. (Or aunts)

I just read the best article from an extremely funny journalist. Mia Freedman. Mia is the brains and braun behind ‘MamaMia’ blog, website and much more.

I only have a toddler who happens to be a boy however  my sister has 3 beautiful children whom I am extremely close with so these ring true from them. My sisters kids are now 13, 11 and 8 with the 2 eldest being girls. ‘Tweens’ and ‘teenagers’ are always experimenting finding their own style and comfort zone with both clothes and make up.

I myself only wear make up on special occasions which is basically only ever mascara, eye liner and lippy and perhaps 3 time per year but this story made me smirk with happiness and automatically filled me with find memories.

 

Please read Mia’s story below.

Once the baby’s out, your beauty routine will never go back to the way it was.

Don’t like sharing your lipstick? Too late.

Your body is not the only thing that changes after you have a baby. Your beauty routine does too, because you’re never alone in your bathroom and you have no time.

Remember the days of luxuriating in the bath or cranking up the music while you spend a satisfying 25 minutes trying to perfect a make-up trick you saw in a magazine?

BAHAHAHAHAHHAAA.

How times change. Here are the beauty truths only mothers can understand.

1. Your bikini line is now something for public commentary. “My mummy has a hairy front bum” is something every child will announce, usually in a supermarket queue.

2. Having to answer these and 100 other questions while putting on makeup or doing your hair: “What actually happens when you die? What rocks are made of? Where do farts go when you can’t smell them anymore?”

3. Eye makeup remover is the best way to remove lipstick from all over your child’s face. Also from the carpet and the dog.

4. Red lipstick and black eyeliner are the best way to create realistic looking scars and wounds. Particularly useful at Halloween.

5. You no longer associate the word ‘bath’ with relaxation or peace. Instead, you associate it with 37 bath toys and an inevitable tantrum when it’s time to wash hair.

6. Doing your makeup takes twice as long because your children want to play with all the brushes / EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

7. Eyeshadow is a bitch to get out of tiles when someone drops it on the floor and it smashes into a thousand powdery pieces.

8. You will be judged when you take your 2-year-old to the nail salon, even though you just really needed to get a pedicure and that’s what iPads were invented for.

9. You will always have chipped nail polish and chipped nails. Always.

10. You embrace ‘natural’ makeup because you actually have no time for the routine you once had and who actually cares what you look like today?

11. You will be asked “what’s that on your face, mummy?” as curious fingers are pointed at your pimples, moles and freckles.

12. Your GHD is covered in inches of dust, and you can’t remember the last time you switched it on.

13. Cleansing your face with anything other than a facial wipe? Not going to happen.

14. You have to keep your makeup hidden at all times, because lipsticks, even really, really expensive ones, are crayons.

15. You become an expert at putting makeup on without a mirror in two minutes flat because LITTLE CHILDREN. (This explains a lot about how I look before my first office bathroom visit of the day).

16. You can’t blow-dry your hair properly because either a) your child hates the sound of the hairdryer and will wail the whole time it’s running or b) loves the sound of the hairdryer and just keeps insisting you turn it on them in a HILARIOUS game.

17. “Grooming” now means shaving your legs once a month. In winter, it’s once every three months.

18. Shapewear. Shapewear. Shapewear.

19. “Doing your hair” now means just spraying it with dry shampoo.

20. Conversations like this when you’re putting on makeup:

“But Mama WHY are you painting your face?”

“Because it makes me feel good.

“Why does it make you feel good?”

“Er… because it makes me feel nicer.”

“But why? it looks sticky. Can I put it on?”

“No, little boys don’t really wear makeup…”

“But why? I want to look like a vampire too.”

(oh.)

21. Finding your makeup brushes being used as paint brushes. And the paint is… (oh no) your eye shadow. And the canvas is (oh no)… the wall.

22. Explaining to your three year old that she is too pretty for makeup… and then putting in on yourself.

23. Answering the urgent question every single day: “No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet… No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet. No, your hair isn’t a long as Elsa’s yet…”

24. Acting nonchalant when your daughter tells you that she has put “nappies” on her “babies” – the nappies being an entire packet of pads!

25. When your daughter becomes a teenager, you must start hiding every beauty product you own because she nicks them. All. The. Time.

26. On the flipside, you get to start nicking hers when she starts buying cool stuff.

You can read Mia’s other stories at:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/author/mia/

http://www.mamamia.com.au

http://www.theglow.com.au/beauty/beauty-for-mothers-truths/?mm

Step children.

On my recent holiday to Fiji I met some lovely people. All different and from various countries but no the less similar.

It seems almost 1 in 3 family’s have step children. Given that the divorce rates here in Australia alone are high, statistics show that approx 48% of marriage ends in divorce.

This one woman I met was quite opinionated on her step child.

On day 4 of our holiday my toddler and I were swimming in one of the family friendly pools when she came with her 2 year old daughter to play with us. My little one had a dump truck, spade and rake in the pool which seemed to be a hit with other children.

So the usual conversation started, she asked me then I asked her the same questions,’how long have you been here, how long are you staying, is this your first Fiji trip, who are you with? Etc

Her response was she was with her husband, their two daughters and her husbands son.

Her husbands son I thought? She then elaborated that She and her husband had been together 13 years and they had 2 daughters together, a 5 year old and a 2 year old. The ‘husbands son’ was 19 and from his previous relationship. I didn’t divulge any deeper but she was more than happy to tell me all about the situation.

The husbands son seems to be the ‘favourite’ child, let’s face it when it comes to break ups, there is always pity on the ‘poor child’ who’s parents are no longer together.

She went on to tell me that she didn’t have much to do with him as he is bad mannered, disrespectful towards her, arrogant and expecting. He apparently ‘wants for nothing and receive’s all he asks for, she mentioned that they are certainly not wealthy but the father buys and does whatever the son asks. She also proceeded to tell me that he demands his fathers attention and because her husband doesn’t see the son too often as he lives with his mother he feels feels obliged to give him his undivided attention when he does see him. I asked how often does her husband see his son and she replied with ‘every second weekend’.

She said that she has no doubt that her hubby loves their two daughters but wishes he put as much effort into them as he does his 19 year old son. She said that when the son is around the daughters are often not included with the father and sons activities.

Quite sad really. I think that as the girls grow up they will see this behaviour and perhaps resent both the father and his son?

I asked her how it affects her marriage and she replied with ‘it’s great when the son isn’t around’. I guess I wasn’t surprised as there are many similar situations like this.

Which makes me wonder, do you have to like your step children?

This woman certainly gave me the impression that she doesn’t like her step son at all. She said a few other things which shocked me and I think that if I was in her position I wouldn’t like the husbands son either.

She says she tolerates her husbands son for his sake but cringes each time the son is over, as it generally means that she and her husband argue over his parenting style with the son and the lack of involvement he has with their daughters. She feels that her husband favours the son and has a sense of guilt which is why he allows the son to behave in such a disrespectful and arrogant manner.

I felt sorry for her, what a difficult situation.

I guess that her story is not the only one like this out there, there are so many split families around, however I guess it’s how you treat the situation as to how your next relationship / family will unfold.

She said it’s always been the same for the 13 years that they have been together but has gotten worse since they had their girls and she sometimes questions why she puts up with it.

I didn’t ask her but I am wondering ‘Do you think the father feels guilty that he has moved on and is happy with someone other than the sons mother which is why he feels obliged to put the son first and almost neglects his new family of wife and 2 girls when the son is around?’.