Tag Archives: Communication

Should we ban smart devices?

What are your thoughts?

I agree, young children and teenagers alike are using their start phones much more than they possibly need too.

There is always a lot of social media involved and gaming.

I know a few ‘tweens’ and teenagers, whom have become recluse, less social, lack conversational skills and basic respect for their surroundings including other people.

Adults, I know are also prone to become ‘addicted’, for lack of a better descriptive word. They have their heads in their smart phones, checking emails, social media, gaming and having conversations via messages rather than actually interacting with others.

This starts from a very young age and can be addictive from a very young age.

For me it goes beyond and should also be monitored at home, with parents and care takers, limiting access to these devices.

These devices interfere with sleep, they interfere with social behaviours and are now having repercussions on younger generations leaving them with less ability to communicate with each other.

I know parents who allow their 5 year olds to go to bed playing games or watching a movie on their iPads.

I know teenagers who ‘snap chat’ or check social media accounts all night. Maybe they fear ‘missing out’ on a status update?

Society is fast becoming obsessed with smart devices.

What future will our children have if they are too busy watching smart devices rather than having normal conversations?

Language and Grammer are suffering with children not having confidence in speaking clearing or being confident in their ability to communicate.

Are these devices doing more harm than good?

What are you thoughts?

Ban phones from school?

https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/schools-need-to-react-quickly-education-expert-urges-smartphone-ban-20180525-p4zhm4.html

Cheat? Cheater? Cheating?

Cheating!

Once a cheat always a cheat?

I’m A huge believer in monogamy. Call me old fashioned but I don’t believe that you take vows of forever, in sickness and in health and make promises to your partner to be faithful if that’s not what you intend on doing.

I also don’t quite understand the idea that cheating is ok? Then the ‘cheater’ blaming their partner? How is this normal?

I’ve once heard that the ‘cheater’ said they no longer felt wanted by the partner which is why they cheated. Perhaps instead of infidelity they should talk to their partner and try to resolve issues?

I guess I’m some cases it’s their ego that needs a boost? This still doesn’t make it right in my eyes or beliefs.

It also makes me think, will the ‘cheater’ ever be happy and content with the one partner?

Will they always have the inclination to stray and cheat? Are they simply deceitful people?

What would you do if you were cheated on?

I was cheated on by a long term partner and initially I blamed myself, thinking I wasn’t enough and why couldn’t I make him happy or please him?

What I soon realised is that he was the one with the issues not me. It took me a while to stop blaming myself and realise that I actually did nothing wrong and that it was him at fault.

Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as alcoholism, drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, over spending and so on. In case ‘s of infidelity, when the underlying reason is emptiness due to self-abandonment, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex , using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness. Instead of being the ‘bigger person’ and ending the current relationship, the ‘cheater’ takes their emptiness and aloneness with them into their next relationship. And so the cycle continues.

Someone who cheats in one relationship is almost certain to do it again unless they fulfil themselves and heal their inner brokenness.

You cannot expect to put your emptiness and aloneness into someone else. You need to fix your own problems prior to staring a new relationship.

I know that I would never date someone whom I know has previously cheated. Perhaps I have trust issues from my past or perhaps I simply wouldn’t want the continual thoughts of ‘what are they up to, or am I enough?’

My theory is simple and I’ve known many people who cheat on their partners and many who have been cheated on. In my eyes it’s a low act.

Hurting someone for your own fulfilment. I don’t think these people ever change and that there will always be the inclination there for them to repeat offend.

I’ve been with my now husband almost 9 years, married for over 3 years and I can wholeheartedly say that yes we argue and yes I get cranky and upset with him, I personally don’t believe any relationship is perfect but at no stage have I or would i ever contemplate seeking intimacy with someone else.

If I have an issue or feel insecure, low, upset or angry I talk it out and make things work. I think cheating is an easy option for weak people to escape reality.

It takes a stronger person to fix a problem than to cheat and betray for your own personal pleasure hurting those who you supposedly love and care for the most.

I understand that someone may pursue you, however you have the control to walk away and not accept. Take responsibility for your actions and know that for every action, there is a reaction and reputations are hard to change.

 

Communication etiquette

Communication etiquette

I have met some wonderful new friends lately and some of them are married to men with ex wife’s.

I guess with the Australian divorce rate at 43% many relationships have ex wife’s or husbands. In saying that though, statistics show that if you marry after the age of 30 your marriage is more likely to go the distance.

Chatting with my new friends we were discussing how their partner communicates with the ex. Most of them have children involved so they have to communicate but it interested me as to how they communicate and how often.

To my surprise the ex wife’s of most of these men are quite demanding with communication. Don’t they realise their ex has moved on and is remarried with a new family?

There is this one ex who still signs off with a ‘x’ now to me and most of my friends an ‘x’ is a kiss right? I asked my new friend if her hubby and his ex were close. Her response was ‘no, but I think the ex does it to erk me’. Now this isn’t a surprise to me as I’ve had my fair share of dealing with troublesome ex’s however my thoughts were, ‘how immature’.

Another new friend was telling me that her hubby’s ex wife will text at all hours and demand that he response and is asking for all types of things, mostly asking for money having to to pay for extras on top of her child maintenance but also complaining that she can’t get a sitter to watch the child so can he take time off from work to have him? If he says no she plays the guy card saying that the child would really like to see him and misses him and please can’t it just be in his lunch break. If my friend wasn’t as trusting and confident in her marriage and also knowing how much her hubby dis likes his ex wife, this could have ruined their relationship.

Now we all know some women can be like this however how would they feel if the tables were reversed and it was an ex wife contacting their new husband if they were to have one? My guess is they wouldn’t like it too much as must people with these personality types are generally selfish, jealous and controlling.

Statistics show that most women have a fear of being alone and also letting go. Is this why some insist on still being part of the ex hubby’s life and like to cause drama within his new family? It makes me wonder, do they enjoy being a ‘pest’?

Another new friend also told me that her hubby’s ex wife emailed him asking for a ‘one night stand’ as she wanted another child but wanted her children to have the same father. I find this very weird and asked if this was before my friend and her hubby were together. To my response she replied with ‘nope, we had been together about ) months, I’d met their children and she knew of me’.

Another says that the ex sends the child to their house wearing clothes that are either 3 sizes too small or completely ruined, knowing that it’s embarrassing for both the child and the step mother so that the step mother will go and buy new ones but then when the child wears them back to his mothers / ex wife she then doesn’t return them. Apparently this is a continuos thing and constant battle with the hubby’s new family.

Another says that her and her hubby pay the private school fees along with extra sporting activities and purchase all the school uniforms on top of child support otherwise the mother / ex wife doesn’t buy them and the child misses out. She claims she can’t afford it?

I thought that child support us 19% of the non living with parents salary paid monthly to the parent who the child lives full time with? All of this to my knowledge is what child support is supposed to pay for? Some women are getting $280 per week for 1 child whom she only has 3 day one week and 6 the next so only having the child 9 days out of 14 but insisting on being paid high child support and extra.

Where do you draw the line?

You don’t want you child to ‘miss out’ on things.

Seriously, what are some people thinking? Or are they not thinking?

Apparently these women think that any time is sufficient.

So what do you think is appropriate etiquette for contacting ex’s?

I have friends that don’t contact at crazy hours nor do my family. General consensus is common courtesy right? What time would you find appropriate for calling or texting someone?