Tag Archives: choice

Being a step parent.

My husband sent me this article earlier today. He says it’s helping him to understand the ‘challenges’ of being a step parent.

Are you a step parent?

What are your thoughts on this article?

I think it’s defiantly worth a read. So many people are so quick to call step parents ‘step monsters’ and judge the situation.

I personally don’t think it’s anyone’s right to judge another’s situation.

We are all different and we all parent differently.

We all fall in love for different reasons and we all have various relationship requirements.

Some of us can’t help who we fell in love with. Others choose to be more picky with choosing their partners.

I have  friends who would never date anyone who have children to other partners and I totally respect that. Being a step parent is challenging.

Id love to hear your thoughts on this article.

Email me – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

or find me on Twitter @noordinarymummy

or Facebook www.facebook.com/noordinarymummy

http://powertochange.com/sex-love/support-stepmom/

 

Settlements and chores

Settlements and chores with marriage and divorce.

I recently read an article in Australia’s Marie Claire magazine about divorce settlements and how they are being settled.

To my shock these things are now being divided almost into a spreadsheet of what the women did around the house during the marriage and put a number on. For example, each load of washing was valued at $25.00.

After reading more into this breakdown it also detailed ‘babysitting duties’ at $25/hr, cooking at $15 per person per meal, school runs at $20/hr and so on.

So these women say have 3 children ranging from 5-15 years old and are married for 17 years and now getting settlements based on what they ‘earns’ during their marriage raising their families?

Please explain to me how this works?

I thought that being a mother was a blessing and not a job?

Why should we be paid or compensated for being given this privilege?

I understand that when we do become mothers and like myself some choose to become a stay at home mum and raise our children instead of keeping our careers and having our little ones in full time care, this is our choice. So why when things don’t go as planned are women expecting to get a lump dime pay out to compensate for loss of earnings?

The article I read had the woman seeking half her husbands superannuation, which I understand she hasn’t early any in the past however many years as she has been the home maker, but why is she entitled?

Along with half the super she is seeking the lump sum payment which looks a bit like this.

17 years
3 children
* 1 x load of washing per day @ $25 per load = $175 x 17 years = $546,976
* Baby sitting @ $25 per hour – 5 hours per day, = $125 x 5 days per week, the time she is at home alone each week day with the / her children = $625 x 15 years = $
* 6 x dinners per week @ $20 per meal for 5 people = $600 x 17 years = $
* Daily errands = $20 per hour @ 3hours per day = $60 x 7 days = $420 x 17 years = $
* Ironing @ $25 per basket x 2 baskets per week = $50 x 17 years =
* cleaning the family home @ $25 per hour x 3 days per week = $75 x 17 years = $
* Packing school lunches @ $10 per lunch, 3 x children.
10 years for the eldest @ 5 x days per week, $50 per week @ 40 weeks per year x 10 years = $20,000
5 years for the Middle child @ 5 days per week $10,000
1 year for the youngest @ 5 days per week $2,000
Total = $32,000

So this all equals $2,278.53 per week
Which equals $118,483.82 per year
Over 17 years equals $2,012,355.00

Keep in mind this doesn’t include her going for half the superannuation not half the combined assets.

Is this fair?

With the average Australian annual salary being $75,000 per annum what would you expect from your partner if you were to divorce after 17 years and raising 3 children?

Would you expect or want half his superannuation?

Would you expect a lump sum pay out similar to the above?

Who actually can afford to pay out over $2 million dollars in a divorce settlement?

Another article that I found interesting was one where the husband worked out what his wife’s annual salary should equate to if being paid on parental duties only. Surprising it’s $97,000 per annum – this is not including house hold chores.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/stay-at-home-salary/

Have you been divorced?

Do you find this fair?

Email me : noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Battle of the names!

Battle of the names!

So as my due date approaches hubby and I are trying to come up with names that we both like and can of course agree on to babe our little girl – Yep we are having a little princess.

My family is now complete, a little man and a little girl.

I only ever wanted 2 children and thought it would be ideal to have one of each – however I would have been extremely happy with 2 boys but am blessed to have been given the gift of one of each. I feel like my little family is perfect.

Now the tough part – coming up with a suitable name that suits both hubby’s name, my name and her big brothers name.

Hubby’s name is 3 syllables but we shorten it to single syllable, my name is also 3 syllables again we shorten it to single and my little mans name is single syllable so of course I’d like another single syllable name.

Problem is that we agree on something then hubby tells someone and they of course have negative comments which then puts him off that name.

Why is people feel the need to pass comment on things that don’t directly include them?

I mean I find it rude when people comment on chosen names and what bugs me most, is that it’s not even their child that is being named so why do they feel they have the right to pass comment on such things?

My little guy wants to call her twinkle but of course that’s out of the question but then there are others who are making suggestions also and putting down our choices. It has nothing to do with them right? Am I alone with my thoughts on this matter?

Naming a child is quite personal and there are many factors to consider including if it goes with the surname – our of which is quite peculiar so that’s a major consideration. Then there is the middle name factor, I’m quite traditional in the sense that I like the middle babe to be a family name possibly derived from a grandparents name or close relation. So coming up with a first name can be tricky!

What are some of your favourite girls names that are single syllable?

My list is as follows;

We had however agreed on a first and middle name for our little princess, though after a few various inputs today when hubby’s disclosed what we liked to some people and they passed negative comments, he now doesn’t like what we had chosen.

Back to square one!

Ava
Eve
Bo
Mila
Milly
Lou
Ella
Belle

Then a few others that Id consider;

Arabella
Eadie
Avery
Chloe
Codi
Phoebe
Halle
Leni
Lola
Lila
Layla
Lexi

Tell me your favourites. I’d love to hear from you.

Please also tell me your thoughts on people having their say on your choice of baby name.

I know everyone has an opinion but should it really be their choice on that you call your child?

Email me at – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Paying for sex is cheating.

MamaMia –

We all know how much I love the MamaMia blog and website!

Here is another read that is thought provoking and I hate to say it, but I totally agree with the author. Well done Rebecca Sparrow!

Cheating is cheating, it doesn’t matter what your trying to blame it on. If you cheat you must take responsibility. I get some marriages may be ‘open’ however paying for sex behind your partners back and in Rebecca’s words, using the family income. Whoever provides the income, it does not matter. You have taken a vow, a broken vow is a broken promise.

Yes I’m opinionated, must of us are, I’m just putting my option out there as Rebecca did and again I say, well done Rebecca.

Many people would be thinking about this interview, cursing or whatever, however don’t be ashamed to say what you think!

Here is Rebecca Sparrows article.

“DON’T SIT THERE AND TELL ME IT’S THE WIFE’S FAULT HER HUSBAND IS SHAGGING AN ESCORT.”

By REBECCA SPARROW

There are days like today when I REALLY wish I worked in an office because Lord, do I need to debrief about what went down on Sunday Night last night.

I’m talking of course about Amanda Goff’s brave and certainly bold interview with James Thomas about her career change. A career change that saw her swap her life as a journalist for one as a highly paid escort in Sydney.

And there is so much I need to unpack and discuss. So I’m just going to write down here everything that is going through my head.

If you didn’t see last night’s interview, you can watch it here. And here’s what News.com.au had to say about it (just to get you up to speed):
By day she’s a 40-year-old mother of two doing the school run. By night, she works as a high-class escort.
Former magazine journalist Amanda Goff — known by her clients as Samantha X — has spoken of her scandalous double life as a secret sex worker.
The Sydney media identity, who has worked at New Idea, Prevention and InStyle, appeared on Seven’s Sunday Night program to promote her new book Hooked – Secrets of a High-Class Escort.
During the candid interview, Goff revealed that she charges $800 an hour for her services or $5000 for a full night from the luxury inner-Sydney apartment where she meets clients.
“I just decided to charge for something that I was doing for free anyway,” she told interviewer James Thomas.
I have no judgement about the fact that Goff is a sex worker. I just don’t. I think if people want to pay for sex for whatever reason – they should be able to do that so long as the female (or male) sex workers are working in safe environments and not being taken advantage of.

So you’re not about to read a rant from me about a woman – even a mother of two small kids – being a sex worker. Her business. Her decision.

But here are the two parts of the interview that I found jarring.
Amanda at her house in Sydney.
1. I’m confused about why Amanda went on national television and told the world she was a sex worker.

I’m sitting here at my laptop wondering if I should be concerned about this or not? Part of me wants to scream, “Your kids are going to get BULLIED. Please don’t do this!” The other part of me thinks, “Why am I saying this mother should be ashamed?” I’m confused. I don’t know what to think. But I do know that it felt wrong to me that Amanda was revealing her identity (which in turn reveals her kids’ identities.). And teasing aside, I would worry about their safety. Selling sex is not like selling Tupperware. I do personally think there is risk involved. Risk of obsession. Risk of stalking. Risk of threats and harm. As much as any of us want to say that men want ‘no strings attached sex” – I think emotions always come in to play. That concerns me. Am I being over the top and out of touch?

2. The bit that really ticked me off was what Amanda had to say about her clients. Here’s just a bit of what she said:

Goff said her services made men “better husbands”. Men, Goff believes, are hard done by and are often neglected by their wives.
“Where else are they going to go to get that outlet? I really do believe that in some cases I make them a happier husband,” she said.
Goff went on to say women needed to do more for their husbands.

“When you take a vow of marriage, men keep to it they provide. Women need to keep to their side to the bargain,” she said.
“I feel for men, I feel they don’t have anyone to talk to.”
Goff’s aim, she said, is to “make men feel desired, listened to and heard”.
Okay, I’m sorry but this is where I call BS.

First up, you’re not helping a marriage when a man has the option (YOU) to turn outside the marriage for sex or comfort or being “listened to”. Your clients want to be listened to? Buddy, go see a marriage therapist. Or, you know, YOUR WIFE. Or a divorce lawyer. Go divorce your wife and then you can spend whatever time you want with escorts.

Second, if these poor misunderstood men just want a sympathetic ear and someone who listens to them – why the need for the big boobs, the inflated lips and the blonde hair? Amanda’s before and after photos are pretty telling. Maybe it’s about them having sex with someone with big boobs, blonde hair and an Angelina Jolie pout? Or do hot chicks make better listeners? Don’t tell me that men are just going to see you Amanda because they want someone who listens to them.

THEY CAN CALL LIFELINE. IT’S FREE.

Lastly, men keep their side of the bargain by ‘providing’? I’m sorry. Is this 1956? I think lots of women are also “providing” an income. And, my bet is these women are also “providing” dinner, and a laundry service and raising children and wiping down the kitchen bench a million friggin’ times.

But in Amanda’s head the wife has to, what? BE HOT?

Men wouldn’t cheat if their wives were prepared to be hot and have sex more often?

And who is this according to?

According to the men who are with Amanda cheating on their wives? Yeah, since we have established that they are CHEATERS – I’m not sure I’d believe them.

It could be that their wives are also having sex with them.

It could be that their wives are running themselves into the ground trying to be ALL THE THINGS.

It could be that these men are philandering arse-hats who spend the family income on escorts.

THAT’S what I have an issue with.

Be a sex worker. Fine. It’s a job. I have no issue with that. But don’t sit there and rehash that old line that it’s the wife’s fault her husband is shagging an escort.

Call it what it is: Cheating.
Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/amanda-goff-sunday-night/#lZAy0l2OzhZZ7ZM2.99