Tag Archives: bully

Suicide.

Suicide.

– yes such a confronting word, however more confronting is the statistics associated with this word.

Did you know, In 2016, the suicide rate in Australia was 11.7 deaths per 100,000 people, up from 10.6 per 100,000 people in 2007. … In 2016, the standardised death rate for males was 17.8 deaths per 100,000 people, while for females it was 5.8 deaths per 100,000 people.

That’s more than eight people every single day. One person every three hours.
That’s quite a large number wouldn’t you agree?

So why is the suicide rate rising?

Suicide is a prominent concern. Over a five year period from 2012 to 2016, the average number of suicide deaths per year was 2,795.

Suicide rates reduced across many age groups, including a moderate reduction in suicide rates for males in the high risk age groups of 35-49 years. There were modest increases from 2015 to 2016 in suicide rates for other age groups however, including males 15-24 years and females 20-34 years.

For males: The highest age-specific suicide number in 2016 was observed in the 85+ age group (34.0 per 100,000) with 61 deaths. This number was considerably higher than the age-specific suicides observed in all other age groups, with the next highest age-specific suicide rates being in the 30-34, 40-44 and 35-39 year age groups (27.5, 27.2 and 24.8 per 100,000 respectively). Those of a younger age were associated with the lowest age-specific rates (0-14 year age group: 0.4per 100,000; 15-19 year age group: 13.4 per 100,000).

For females: The highest age-specific suicide in 2016 was observed in the 50-54 age group with 82 deaths (10.4 per 100,000), followed by the 40-44, 45-49 and 30-34 age groups (8.5, 8.3 and 8.3 per 100,000 respectively).

The lowest age-specific suicide for females was observed in the 0-14 age group with 7 deaths (0.3 per 100,000) followed by those aged between 65-69 and then 15-19 age group (4.1 and 5.0 100,000 respectively).

Social media can have either negative or positive effects, Tom Simon, an author of the report and associate director for science in the division of violence protection at the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported.

Cyberbullying and harmful content might push a vulnerable teen toward self-harm, yet “social media can help increase connections between people, and it’s an opportunity to correct myths about suicide and to allow people to access prevention resources and materials.”
Dorian A. Lamis, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University School of Medicine/Grady Health System, theorized that use of social media and cyberbullying may affect teenage girls more than boys, resulting in rising suicide deaths among older teen girls.

“Some research has suggested that the timing of puberty in girls is a contributing factor for the increased suicide rate,” has also been reported. Puberty starts as early as 8 in some girls. The psychosocial and physical changes may leave girls “vulnerable to depression, anxiety and other psychiatric disorders earlier on in life.” These known risk factors for suicide may catch up with a girl as she grows older.

There is not one factor that is a cause for suicide. It is not a weakness nor is it because of mental health.

Suicide affects many people and it is sometimes seen as selfish but no one should be judging because it has many repercussions.

Sometimes suicide is a result of bullying or seen as a way for the person committing suicide to get away from a certain situation an escape if you may like to think of it that way. They may be feeling isolated, scared, weak, alone, unhappy, stressed, fearful or overwhelmed. There are no exact reasons as to why someone may contemplate suicide. It’s their decision and we unfortunately on most occasions cannot change it.

No one should ‘chime in’ on negativity about suicide, no one knows what the person has been though, is experiencing or dealing with.

What we do know is that the rate in which suicide is rising, is concerning. Unfortunately the above statistics are not current, and suicide is not often spoken about. There should be no embarrassment associated with the word. We should be more aware of circumstances and situations where our friends, family and loved ones may need us.

In today’s society, we all seem quite wrapped up in our own worlds. Disconnected some may say or selfish to our surroundings. I believe that we need to be more aware and connected with those closest to us. Take not of Friends and family behaviour. Offer to listen to those whom may need to talk. Often people will bottle up their thoughts and feelings in fear of judgment.

Who are we to judge?

One persons situation may change, just by having a listening ear. Or a hand to hold, or comfort in knowing that they are valued and not alone.

There is help if you need it.

Lifeline within Australia 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/about-lifeline/contact-us

Wesley Mission Australia
https://www.wesleymission.org.au/find-a-service/mental-health-and-hospitals/counselling/lifeline-sydney-and-sutherland/

Or if you would like to email me confidentially, my email is – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Remember ‘Every Life Matters’.

It doesn’t take much to ask ‘Are you ok?’
Or
‘How are you?’ These 2 questions may just change someone’s feelings and life.

Intimidation

Intimidation

I dont get intimidated. I’m a pretty strong minded and strong personality that I don’t allow negativity to get to me, nor do I allow ‘idiots’ to create negative in my life.

Yes I’ve had my fair share of idiots creating issues, I just don’t allow it to affect me. It’s been hard, but I have learnt. Especially since writing my blog. People will seldom give compliments, instead they feel it’s their right to be negative and point out faults in either my stories, words, experiences or Grammer. But that’s their issue. Yes it used to make me self doubt, but I’ve grown to ignore most negatives. It’s simply not worthwhile.

Of late I’ve been reading lots of blogs about bullying. I don’t agree with it and I actually condone it. It’s the lowest form of gaining attention.

My theory is that those who bully have their own issue’s and are ‘lashing’ out and taking it out on others to make themselves feel better. If they have nothing better do to with their time, other than to intimidate or be negative towards others, well that’s their issues and perhaps they need to get a hobby.

Bullying creates low self esteem in others and also self doubt. I guess that’s what the ‘bully’ is seeking? To make others feel insecure, bad about themselves and negative?

In most cases with bullying, these people are self entered and suffer low self esteem which is why they feel attacked and then react by attacking others caused by their own insecurities. These people have ‘issues’ which is why they bully others, to make themselves feel better about the person that they are.

But why?

Bullying is a huge problem world wide that can have huge repercussions. It is becoming more of an issue in schools, online, sporting groups and also behind closed doors.

There are many forms of bullying.

Cyber bullying
This is where the bully is ‘attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via the internet, social media, email or somehow ‘electronic’, carried out online or through mobile phones or computers.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them)
Accessing internet accounts without permission

Indirect bullying
This is where the bully is attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via another source. Possibly another person or ‘indirectly’. They are not contacting the victim direct.

Direct bullying
This is where the bully is attacking you or contacting you directly. Either face to face, over the phone or ‘targeted’ directly at you.

Physical bullying
This involves hitting, shoving, pushing, tripping, and other kinds of unwanted force.

Verbal bullying
This involves hurtful comments, name-calling, teasing. Slander, using hurtful words and or phrases to ‘attack’, hurt or offend the victim.

Social bullying
This involves using relationships to hurt someone.

Bullying could include using SMS, email or social networking sites to harass or abuse someone.

It is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

There are ways to stop bullying.

Firstly report it.

You can report it to the police or to an organisation like I have. I have put contact links below for you.

Talk to someone about it.

You are not alone, there are reasons why these people are called ‘trolls’ it’s because they are not nice people who are generally unhappy within themselves and are pushing their own issues onto others.

A lot of bullying happens via social media, almost so that the bully can remain ‘face less’ or ‘hidden’. If you are bullying via social media, why? Are you too afraid to speak up in person? – I’m certainly not saying it’s ok to bully face to face but hiding behind a compute is a cowardly act.

Bullying altogether is a cowardly act.

Remember all bullying is a crime which you can be convicted for.

A criminal conviction that will have repercussions for the rest of your life. You may loose your job, you may loose access to your children, you may loose respect of your peers but most importantly you can go to jail for this.

It doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are. Bullying is not on and you will get caught and hopefully reprimanded.

There are too many incidences where this is not bought to the attention of others and sadly it can result in someone taking their own life.

Did you know that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube all ban cyber bullying?

If you have been bullied online or otherwise, have seen bullying online or otherwise or are worried that you may have bullied someone else online and you don’t know what to do next, you can get free, confidential legal advice from Lawmail.

So what is the definition of bullying?

Bullying is behaviour that is meant to be hurtful.
It targets a certain person or group of people.
It happens more than once; and
embarrasses, threatens or intimidates the person being bullied.

Is cyber bullying a crime?

Cyber bullying can be a crime under either South Australian or national law when it involves:

Cyber bullying is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them). Accessing internet accounts without permission.

Defamation (spreading lies to intentionally hurt someone’s reputation).

Encouraging suicide.

Menacing, harassing or offensive use of the internet or a mobile.

It is a crime to use a phone or the internet in threaten, harass or seriously offend somebody.

A message or post could be considered offensive if it is likely to cause serious anger, outrage, humiliation or disgust. The maximum penalty is 3 years in jail.

Let’s put a stop to bullying.
#StopBullying
#NoMoreBullies

http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/

http://m.cybersmart.gov.au

http://www.lawstuff.org.au/sa_law/topics/bullying/cyber-bullying

Who’s right to discipline?

Who’s right to discipline?

Yet again I’ve had strangers pass comment on my children. This time however my 2 year old was being a little bossy.

Now I’m not a helicopter parent, I do allow him to play in the park or at an indoor play centre with other children and I don’t hover to ensure everything that he does is by ‘others standards’.

The other day we happened to be at an indoor play centre with some friends and my little guy was playing on a climbing thing which had slides and a ball pit and various other child friendly things.

My little guy was happily playing with other children (some we didn’t know, but hey I’d rather he make friends with other children than be shy) I was sitting approx 10 meters away watching him happily play with an older boy whom I’m guessing was approx 4 or 5 years old.

Now let’s be honest with ourselves, boys can be rough, they can be boisterous and they can be bossy. Gosh girls can be also but I find girls more bossy than boisterous. Anyway, my 2 yo was playing with this older child at the top of the climbing frame and another child was climbing up when my 2 yo said ‘you can’t come in my castle’. He and the little boy he was playing with them laughed and ran away. Now I would have thought that at some time or another any child would say such things. I didn’t see any harm in it and the older boy whom my little guy was playing with was saying the same thing. I don’t know who instigated it but they were both saying it.

I was watching from afar and could see that my little guy wasn’t being rough, nor hitting, nor pushing it being ‘hands on’ in any way.

I saw an older man approx 55 walk towards all 3 boys shaking his finger. I thought best I’d go intervene. As I was walking over the older man said to me ‘is this your kid?’ I responded yes. He then said in a quite abusive tone ‘he is being bossy, either you stop it or I will’.

My response was quite civil and I said ‘sorry, they were only playing’ I then smiled and walked away with my 2 yo. I could have reacted in a very different way and now I kinda wish I had of told this old ‘bleep’ where to go and mind his own business. If I had of reacted that way though I would only be stooping to his low inappropriate level.

Now I’m not sure what planet this guy came from but in my planet, I’d never say that to another parent nor would I threaten to discipline another child nor would I discipline someone else’s child. I find it down right rude that a stranger thought he had the right to say that to me or anyone and also think that he had the right to act upon it.

I went and got my son from the climbing thing and took him back to the table and asked him what he was doing. He said just playing, the friend that I was with and her children said he wasn’t doing anything wrong from what they could see.

What was this mans problem?

Who in their right mind would think its ok to disciple someone else’s children? Especially a strangers child?

I wonder how he would feel if the roles were reversed and I decided to act the way he did. I wonder what his reaction would be?

This is a very busy indoor play centre and I have been there previously with my children many times and have never had any issues up until this day.

Now I’m the first to admit, kids will be kids and I try not to be a helicopter parent but under no circumstances would I allow my child to be a bully or to hurt other children. I do monitor and watch my child’s every move but I certainly don’t panic and I do allow him to make his own choices. After all I do want my children to be well rounded and be able to make their own positive choices.

My child has been picked on and bullied to an extent previously but as most adults know, kids will be kids. I didn’t intervene, I simply chatted to him about it. Children push boundaries it’s their way of expressing themselves and working out each other personalities. If my son was being aggressive or hitting or touching the other child perhaps I would have been a little more cross at him and more understanding towards the grumpy man. Instead my 2yo and the older boy were simply playing and said the other child wasn’t allowed in their castle. I’m pretty sure other children have said similar if not worse.

This isn’t where it stopped though. As I was walking back, an older woman decided to say to me as I passed her table ‘your little boy is so naughty, so so naughty’. I just gave her a look of ‘mind your own business’.

So where does the issue start and stop?

Does this strange man or strange woman have the right to speak to me the way they did?

Was my 2 yo out of line?

Is it their right to discipline other people’s children?

How would you feel if you or your child were spoken to in this way?

Would you disciple another child that wasn’t yours?

Email me – I’d love to hear your stories. noordinarymummy@gmail.com