Tag Archives: boy

The 3rd child?

So on the weekend my husband bought up the ‘3rd’ child question….

We currently have a 3yo boy and a 17mo girl. I feel complete, and extremely blessed. One of each is perfect for me. I have enough time with each and was questioning how would I manage another? We are in a great routine, they play so well together, they both sleep through the night, they adore each other, why ‘rock the boat’ so to speak.

Well firstly I was extremely shocked that my hubby bought this subject up, as he was the one that never wanted children. I basically gave him the ultimatum. He knew that when he proposed he was definitely having babies with me. He still proposed so he must not have worried too much about this.

Once we had our little man he then again said, no more babies I want my wife back and one is plenty, well again we had a chat and yes, we now also have a daughter. We have 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart, fun, happy and healthy little people. I feel completely besotted by them and am happy with the 2 children so you can imagine the shock when hubby bought up a third.

He was away last week for business and clearly missed us. His conversation Saturday went something like this.
‘Babe, do you ever get a pang for another baby?’

Well I nearly fell off my chair and replied, ‘yes I do, but I thought we agreed that the 2 that we have are perfect?’.

Hubby’s response, ‘after being away the past week I really missed you, little man and princess, I was thinking about having a third with you, would you consider it? Would you put your body through it again?’ (FYI, I get really bad morning/ all day sickness, with complicated pregnancy and difficult to actually fall pregnant)

My response, ‘I would put my body through it, absolutely, but we have 2 amazing little ones, do we really want a third?’

Hubby, ‘Hmmm I know, I just think how great a mum you are, how much our kids adore you and how beautiful our kids are, gives me pangs’.

Me, ‘Hmmm’.

So this was never a position I thought I’d be in. I’m pretty sure I’m completely happy with 2, I am one of 3 and remember that one of my siblings was always left out. I feel like 2 always play together and 1 is on the outer? Not sure. I think I’d want 4 rather than 2.

I know I have enough love.

We will see…..

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_source=FB

My little big boy.

My sweet boy will be turning 4 in approx 6 weeks.

Where has the time gone?

It breaks my heart to think he is ‘growing up’. He is my first born and my only boy. (I only have 2 children my baby is a girl)

I’m so proud that he is growing up but and feel torn that I’m loosing my ‘baby boy’.

I’m excited for all his adventures ahead and enjoy watching him, explore, learn and develop. It’s surreal how his personality is developing and how each week his language, thought process and maturity evolves.

This bought tears to my eyes. Happiness and sad. I call him my little big boy. He is growing ‘big’ but no matter how ‘big’ he gets, he will always be ‘my little boy’. ❤️

http://www.scarymommy.com/problem-4-year-olds/?utm_source=FB

A love like no other.

I love the honesty in this post. Again by one of my favourites. ‘Scary Mommy’.

I sometime feel like I’ve made many mistakes with my little guy, my first born and my first amazing unconditional true love. It’s amazing the love we feel fur our children. Well I know the love that I have for mine. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before, very overwhelming yet so satisfying.

I think I speak for most patents when I say there is no greater love than the love we have for our children.

As a middle child myself I always thought that my mother favoured my older sister and younger brother. One because my sister and mother get along more like sisters and are quite similar and my brother, well he is the baby of the family and a boy.

Much like my little man, my brother us a mummy’s boy. Not that there is anything wrong with it. However I used to curse it, but now that I have my own son, I totally understand and accept it.

I adore both my children but when I was pregnant with my little girl, I had similar thoughts. How can I love another as much? Well I have and I do.

Please read this blog, it hit home for me, perhaps it will also for you!
http://www.scarymommy.com/first-child-love-will-never-change/

 

 

Taming the toddler!

Taming the toddler!

Dressing my 2 year old of late feels like I’m wrestling a crocodile – not that I’ve wrestled a croc but it seems that since he started preschool, a whole new world has begun!

Simple tasks like dressing him is full on with him running around being cheeky and making it more of a game, I get one leg of his pants in then he runs off expecting me to chase him with the only contained leg falling out, back to square one.

Although this is cute and can be a fun game, I’m 6 months pregnant and get out of breath easily and also can’t move as quick as I normally can nor can I manoeuvre myself as well with my tummy! The simple task of dressing that once took 5 minutes now can take up to 20.

He only goes to preschool 1 day per week and has only been a handful of times. This is also his first time in any day care / preschool facility as I’m a stay at home mum and whilst I was working he had a nanny one day per week whom would come to our home and care for him there, therefore he was still in his comfort zone.

So since starting preschool – which I do believe is good for him and will get better, the drop offs are very hard with tears and tantrums from my lil guy and him shouting ‘me no likey preschool’. ‘I go home now’ and ‘peese mummy no go’. Breaks my heart every time! Perhaps I’m just a clingy mum or not tough enough? However I am re assured by the centre director and other staff that he does calm down and settle after approx 15 minutes of me leaving.

I also know that it’s not the preschools fault that he is behaving this way, he is only 2 and being put in a new environment can be challenging for anyone.

On pick up I get the best reception from him with a huge smile then him running towards me followed by huge hugs having both his innocent little arms tightly wrapped around my neck and have him almost climbing up on top of me to get closer then followed by a big kiss. Makes my whole day to get that love from him as I certainly do miss him.

That evening and next day though can be tiring as he becomes extremely clingy and needing with him following me everywhere I go and holding my hand even walking around our home.

This I love, but bed time becomes another challenge with him no wanting to go to bed alone and insisting that I stay in his bedroom with him. If i try to leave I get tears and heartbreak. I think to myself, be tough and just make him stay alone to sleep but then my softer side says, why not sit with him, he is two and he won’t want me to ‘hold him’ for too many more years. Yes he says in the sweetest little voice ‘peese mummy old me’ which means he would like my hand to rest on his heart whilst he falls asleep – bless him.

He has also learnt lots of new sentences, including him putting his finger across his lips and saying ‘shhh, stop it, sit down’ something I’m guessing his teachers must say? And another one ‘umm I dont think so’. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad his vocabulary is expanding and he is learning better sentences however not sure I like those particular sentences coming from my ‘just turned 2 little guy?.

Another wonderful side effect from day care is the lashing out. He has certainly been asserting himself, mainly with other boys and generally it’s a jealous thing, like them playing with his toys or even being too close to me. He has never been an aggressive or rough child but the past 2 weeks have shown me that he can be quite rough with pushing and throwing things.

From studying my counselling course I’ve learnt that it’s very normal for a toddler or child to lash out or behave aggressively when they have a major change in their young lives as they are stamping out their emotions, asserting themselves and also trying to work out how and where they fit into the change.

It’s almost like they are pushing boundaries to see how far they can get, asserting themselves and making their own path. This does settle down but it’s a big adjustment for them.

Should you try to tame a toddler?

My theory is to allow them to show their personality but set boundaries. I’m not going to raise a brat or disrespectful child. My little man already has boundaries and though I do discipline him I also explain why I’m disciplining him and try to help him understand what he has done wrong and how not to do it again.

I’m not huge on smacking but I do believe in time out. I sit my little guy on his bed, get down to his eye level, ask him to look at me whilst I’m talking to him and speak to him in an assertive but compassionate voice. I don’t like to raise my voice but he does recognise the difference in the tone in my voice and that he is in trouble. He then sits on his bed with the door closed for 2 minutes. I then go back to his room and explain again what he has done wrong and generally find that he is remorseful.

I’ve heard that 3 year olds are worse than 2 year olds? Gosh! I love my little guy more than the world but he certainly tests me and keeps me on my toes at times, here is for hoping 3 isn’t worse!

How do you tame your toddler?

What are your experiences?

Is it just us or is parenting an emotional rollercoaster?

Every day brings its highs and lows and unexpected loopty-loops.

There are moments of absolute joy that lift us up and take our breath away. And then there are trying moments such as those when the little one decides to draw all over your nice white walls with black permanent marker that bring us down and also take our breath away.

Yet through it all, there’s something in us that forgives our little ones need for attention and we forget, open our arms, scoop them up and love them all over again!

The uncomplicated love of a parent.

Battle of the names!

Battle of the names!

So as my due date approaches hubby and I are trying to come up with names that we both like and can of course agree on to babe our little girl – Yep we are having a little princess.

My family is now complete, a little man and a little girl.

I only ever wanted 2 children and thought it would be ideal to have one of each – however I would have been extremely happy with 2 boys but am blessed to have been given the gift of one of each. I feel like my little family is perfect.

Now the tough part – coming up with a suitable name that suits both hubby’s name, my name and her big brothers name.

Hubby’s name is 3 syllables but we shorten it to single syllable, my name is also 3 syllables again we shorten it to single and my little mans name is single syllable so of course I’d like another single syllable name.

Problem is that we agree on something then hubby tells someone and they of course have negative comments which then puts him off that name.

Why is people feel the need to pass comment on things that don’t directly include them?

I mean I find it rude when people comment on chosen names and what bugs me most, is that it’s not even their child that is being named so why do they feel they have the right to pass comment on such things?

My little guy wants to call her twinkle but of course that’s out of the question but then there are others who are making suggestions also and putting down our choices. It has nothing to do with them right? Am I alone with my thoughts on this matter?

Naming a child is quite personal and there are many factors to consider including if it goes with the surname – our of which is quite peculiar so that’s a major consideration. Then there is the middle name factor, I’m quite traditional in the sense that I like the middle babe to be a family name possibly derived from a grandparents name or close relation. So coming up with a first name can be tricky!

What are some of your favourite girls names that are single syllable?

My list is as follows;

We had however agreed on a first and middle name for our little princess, though after a few various inputs today when hubby’s disclosed what we liked to some people and they passed negative comments, he now doesn’t like what we had chosen.

Back to square one!

Ava
Eve
Bo
Mila
Milly
Lou
Ella
Belle

Then a few others that Id consider;

Arabella
Eadie
Avery
Chloe
Codi
Phoebe
Halle
Leni
Lola
Lila
Layla
Lexi

Tell me your favourites. I’d love to hear from you.

Please also tell me your thoughts on people having their say on your choice of baby name.

I know everyone has an opinion but should it really be their choice on that you call your child?

Email me at – noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Morning sickness!

Morning sickness!

For anyone that has suffered, I feel for you. With my first pregnancy I thought I had it bad. Vomiting, headaches, constantly tired, achy limbs, swollen ankles and that’s just what I remember.

This time around it’s worse! How could it possibly be worse you ask? Well it is. I’m vomiting all day, mostly bile and being graphic it also helps itself out my nose! Still all the body aches and headaches and super tired but hey, I’m growing a baby inside!

So yes, there is my announcement, we are pregnant and although I’m feeling absolutely rotten, I’m blessed and exited and extremely happy that I am having another child. Extending my family and giving my little guy a sibling.

So throughout all my morning sickness I’ve tried multiple remedies and let me say, not much has worked for me.

I’ve tried the dry crackers beside the bed first thing of a morning.

I’ve tried sipping sparkling water.

I’ve tried ginger tablets.

I’ve tried sea sick and travel sick tablets.

I’ve tried sucking ginger.

I’ve tried taking the morning sickness tables.

I’ve even tried maxalon!

Over tried dry toast.

I’ve tried black tea.

Nothing as worked for me.

So what causes morning sickness?

Below is an article by Victorian health that explains why we experience morning sickness and how we can try combat it!

I found it an interesting read, as most of you already know and understand, Morning sickness is caused by the hormones in your body adjusting and growing another little person inside you and with all the change it causes havoc in some women.

I’d love to hear your remedies or morning sickness stories.

Email me – noordinarymummy@gmail.com
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For most women, morning sickness begins around the fourth week of pregnancy and generally goes away around the 12th to 14th week. However, bear in mind one in five pregnant women will suffer morning sickness into their second trimester, and an unfortunate few will also experience nausea and vomiting for the entire duration of their 9 month pregnancy.

In most cases, morning sickness doesn’t harm the woman or the unborn child. However, severe morning sickness that includes weight loss and dehydration needs prompt medical attention. This may also require a drip or even hospitalisation.
Some Symptoms of morning sickness can include:
Nausea
Loss of appetite
Vomiting
Psychological effects, such as depression and anxiety.

The myth of hysteria and morning sickness

Unrelenting morning sickness can have a profound effect on your quality of life, preventing you from working, socialising and looking after your other children.

Pregnant women enduring morning sickness report higher levels of psychological stress, including anxiety and depression. This prompted the false belief that morning sickness is purely psychosomatic, which means that the woman’s fears and anxieties trigger her physical discomfort. However, there is no research to support these claims.

Possible causes of morning sickness

The cause of morning sickness remains a mystery, but it is thought a combination of physical and metabolic factors play a significant role, including:
High levels of hormones, including oestrogen
Fluctuations in blood pressure, particularly lowered blood pressure
Altered metabolism of carbohydrates
The enormous physical and chemical changes that pregnancy triggers.

Morning sickness and your baby

Some women are concerned that the action of vomiting may threaten their unborn baby. Vomiting and retching may strain the abdominal muscles and cause localised aching and soreness, but the physical mechanics of vomiting won’t harm the baby. The fetus is perfectly cushioned inside its sac of amniotic fluid.

Numerous studies have discovered that moderate morning sickness is associated with a reduced risk of miscarriage. However, prolonged vomiting (that leads to dehydration and weight loss) can deprive your child of proper nutrition and increase the risk of your baby being underweight at birth.

If you have nausea and vomiting that will not stop, contact your doctor or midwife.

Severe morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum)

Severe morning sickness is known as hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and can affect around one in 1,000 pregnant women. The symptoms of HG include repeated vomiting, weight loss and dehydration. Treatment usually involves hospitalisation, and the administering of intravenous liquids and nutrition.

The possible complications of untreated hyperemesis gravidarum include:
Electrolyte imbalances
Extreme depression and anxiety
Malnourishment of the fetus
Excessive strain on vital organs, including the liver, heart, kidneys and brain.

Managing morning sickness

Suggestions for coping with morning sickness include:
Don’t take drugs of any kind, unless your doctor knows you are pregnant and has prescribed specific medications.
Eat a few dry crackers or plain sweet biscuits before getting out of bed in the morning.
Don’t eat anything that you suspect will make you nauseous. In general high-carbohydrate meals are well tolerated.
Eat small meals regularly, as an empty stomach tends to trigger nausea.
It may help to avoid cooking or preparing foods.
Drink as much as you can manage. Sometimes sips of flat lemonade, diluted fruit juice, cordial, weak tea, ginger tea, clear soup or beef extract drinks are helpful. If none of these are bearable, try sucking on ice cubes.
Vitamin B6 supplements can be useful, but doses above 200 mg per day can actually be harmful. Follow your doctor’s advice.
Consider acupressure or acupuncture on the wrist.
Wear loose clothes that don’t constrict your abdomen.
Moving around may aggravate morning sickness. Rest whenever possible.

Seeing your doctor about morning sickness

Always seek medical advice if your morning sickness is severe, if you have lost a lot of weight quickly, or if you feel depressed or anxious. Treatment options can include drugs that won’t harm your developing baby.

Where to get help
Your doctor
Maternal and child health nurse

Things to remember
Around half to two-thirds of all pregnant women will experience morning sickness.
Possible causes include high levels of hormones, blood pressure fluctuations and changes in carbohydrate metabolism.
Severe morning sickness, called hyperemesis gravidarum, may require hospitalisation.
Symptoms of morning sickness may be relieved by eating a few dry crackers before you get up in the morning, avoiding foods and smells that make you nauseous, drinking plenty of fluids and choosing high-carbohydrate and high-protein foods.
Better Health Channel

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Being a mummy.

I love being a mum!

I read many blogs and quite often find myself drawn to 2 in particular, yes MamaMia by Mia Freedman and Mouths of Mums.

As you know I recently gave up my career, actually let’s rephrase it ‘I’ve put my career on hold to have a family’. I’m sure I will go back to work at some stage but for now I’m a mummy.

I am also the first to admit that I struggled with this. Along with the complete financial reliance on my hubby I felt I was also giving up some of my independence. I’m not sure if other parents have felt the same when they made this decision however I certainly did.

It’s now been approx 4 months since I gave up my employment and I must say I love being a mummy. I have many friends and acquaintances who may not agree with me, they may feel like they struggle. I however am relishing in it and absolutely adore being a mummy. I absolutely adore my son too! 🙂

I have no deadlines, I have no immediate commitments, work to my own schedule and can sit around in my pyjamas all day if I feel like it. Not that this actually happens as our days are filled with reading group, gymbaroo, swimming lessons, play dates and general house hold chores including grocery shopping, washing, dishes, preparing meals and much more! But I still love it and feel grateful that my husband and I are in a position where I can be a stay at home mummy. I know some family’s simply can not afford to have one parent stay at home, I feel very fortunate and lucky.

I truly believe that being a stay at home parent is not for everyone and some people need a career or something more. I did love my job but after long consideration do not regret giving it up for my little man. Each day he inspires me and makes me laugh. I often find myself just looking at him and wondering what I did prior to having him? Each day he teaches me something new both about life and about myself. The love I have for him is indescribable and grows more and more with every passing day.

Again not everyone wants to be a stay at home parent, not everyone can be a stay at home parent for what ever their reasoning. It may be financial, it may be that they are more career focussed, perhaps they are a better parent when they are also working. Whatever their reasons, it’s an individual choice and no one should judge another for their choices.

So this now brings me to another article I read on my favourite MamaMia blog. It has made me feel even better about my decision to be a stay at home mummy. I enjoy being a mummy and cherish the fact that I can actually have all this time with my little man, seeing him grow and explore and make his own adventures.

I’ve pasted the article below to share with others who may be feeling in a conundrum about their choices.

By ALISSA WARREN

I like being a mum.

There, I said it.

In fact, I’ll go one step further. I love being a mum.
For years, I’ve been a bit sheepish about admitting it. I’d go as far as to say I felt a bit embarrassed.

Admitting you enjoy motherhood is met with the same looks you might get if you mentioned that you wear a Batman mask for fun. Or you wash your bed linen twice a day.

Like, what?

Somehow, this innocent, OBVIOUS statement has become almost socially unacceptable to say out loud.

Those five little words.

I love being a mum.

I’ve thought about this a lot lately. About why there is a stigma to saying you love motherhood. And I think there are three reasons we’re reluctant to say it.

The first is that up until relatively recently, saying “I love it!” was the only possible answer to the question “Are you enjoying motherhood?” There were no other acceptable options. As soon as they had children, women had to hide their unhappiness, their frustration, their guilt, their anxiety and their boredom for fear of being labelled a bad mother or an ungrateful one. Being negative or honest was frowned upon so women self-censored. Post natal depression didn’t even have a name let alone any community or medical understanding.

Being able to speak openly about the hard parts of motherhood has been undoubtedly a positive thing. It’s a less isolating experience now. There’s a better, wider understanding of the challenges involved in parenthood. There’s no longer pressure to be a Carol Brady Stepford Wife who’s hap-hap-happy all the time!

The result of this though, is that the pendulum has swung too far. There’s a sense among some women that by being positive about motherhood, you’re somehow letting the side down. Which confused me for a long time. Because when I say I love motherhood, I’m not suggesting everyone should. Not all the time, anyway. I’m not undermining anything any other woman wants to say about the experience. I’m not implicitly criticising any other mother for being less positive than me.

But surely my voice and my experience counts too? Surely there’s room for a range of different expressions about the experience of motherhood? Why does one sentiment have to cancel out another? It doesn’t.

The conversations about motherhood are so often about the struggles, the tantrums, the balance, the homework and the no-sleep. Sure, there’s that.

But recently, it’s become ONLY that. Because sometimes it feels like mothers aren’t really allowed to say we love motherhood. With good intentions, the good stuff has taken a backseat for fear of offending people who didn’t/couldn’t have children and for fear of upsetting the mothers who were struggling.

Peversely, singing the praises of motherhood has pretty much become taboo.

Have we been shit-canning motherhood for so long and in such depth, that we can’t even remember – and savour – the main game?

I’m reclaiming the land. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel for women who can’t have children or that I think childless women are living incomplete lives. Nor do I want to be insensitive to mothers who can’t be parents, who want to be – a sadness I can’t begin to imagine.

But I’d like to put an end to the collective shaming of ‘enjoying life with children’.

Because I love it. And I’m not ashamed to say, these are the bits I love the most.

1. It’s full.
My life is packed. Full of cuddles, arguments, questions like, ‘does God have eyes?’ and squeaky little voices. Their words fill the air. Always. Their little lives fill my heart. And literally, too. I have so many Nurofen syringes that I don’t have anywhere to put my kitchen scissors. I have so many colourful drink bottles busting from our Tupperware drawer that I had to throw out my extra tea towels. My days are long, my weeks are fast. They’re full. And fulfilling.

2. My kids have given me the greatest gift: patience.
Children don’t rush to put their shoes on, do a wee, get into the car, sit in their carseat or put their seatbelt on. This process once took me about 7.5 seconds. It takes my children a minimum of 17 minutes. This busy life has the slowest of moments and while it’s taken me a long time to stop nagging and embrace it. (However, I believe others may not be so keen to embrace how LATE we are).

3. It’s fun.
Oh, the horror. I just said motherhood was F-U-N! I can hear the sharpening of pitchforks. But it’s true. It’s funny and it’s fun. My kids’ little faces when I tell them they can have Weet Bix for dinner. Or the way they stare at themselves in the reflection of the mirror to see their little teeth. Or when they blame a fart on someone else. Or when they talk to birds. It’s humour at it’s purest and most original.

4. There’s no bullshit.
There’s no room for sensitive souls on the home front. Everyone gets a dressing down. There’s little space for a mum to have a ‘bad day’ and wallow around feeling sorry for herself. There’s no better pick-me-up than a forced one.

5. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
Enough said.

But that’s the thing, there’s not enough being said.

The ingredients that make up motherhood should be celebrated for their simplicity and loveliness. Let’s reignite the love.

 

Manipulation.

Manipulation and mind games.

So apparently all children can manipulate? I agree with this statement to an extent.

My little one certainly tries to manipulate me, he does this by being very cute, snugging up then asking me to play. Ok so this isn’t typical manipulation but it’s a form right?

This leads me to my next point. How many types of manipulation are there and what are they?

At what age do children start to manipulate?

Do they understand what they are doing? They may not know or understand the word, but I’m pretty damn sure a lot of children know what they are doing.

I know a lot of adults who manipulate on a regular basis, it often makes me wonder if they realise what they are doing, or are they simply that way inclined?

Is manipulation part if our personality?

Is it embedded in some of us?

Do these people enjoy manipulating?

Why do they feel they need to manipulate to get what they want?

Do that have that low of self esteem that they feel they have to manipulate?

Are they simply negative and nasty people who feel they deserve to be this way?

And my questions keep rolling…..

Manipulation is mainly know as ‘mind games’. These type of mind games I believe can be innocent or much more purposeful and deceiving. Most manipulation is used to ‘get what you want’ right? Why else would people play ‘mind games’?

As human beings, our emotions often take over our judgments therefore making it difficult for us to see the reality behind some certain hidden agendas or motives in different forms of behaviour. (Manipulation)

The controlling aspects or shrewdness can be linked to manipulation that are sometimes very subtle and may be easily overlooked, pushed aside, lost under feelings of obligation, love, or in fact our daily personal habits.

 
To understand the characteristics of a manipulative personality is not always easy as they may not always obvious. This can be because they play a silent game of building up obligations toward them. In the end it makes you feeling guilty, pressured, and obliged to carry out things for their sake even though you’re still wondering how things got to this point. How did they manage to get you to do this or behave that way?

I’ve found that the best way to judge a manipulative person is to observe their actions. Be a little patience with this and start with being polite and nice to them and saying thank you for letting me know this need to be done this way. Sooner you will come to know their reality. Actions speak louder than words.

Some manipulative people will guide people to do things in certain way. Telling them that doing do thing a particular way is for everyone’s good. In actual fact they don’t want to change themselves and want to stay in their own comfort zone. So these manipulative people will tell you stories about how someone else’s actions created problems for everyone. They might try scare tactics by also telling sad endings like he/she was asked to leave by everyone etc etc. Don’t fall victim to their stories. Just do what you think is right and essential. Of course considering others comfort also. But don’t sacrifice your rights and thoughts for them.

A martyr style personality behaves as if they are being considerate toward other people but is actually messing up considerateness with a need to be significant to you. By “martyring” themselves, they are doing things nobody has asked of them or wants them to do but in the process creates a ‘bind’ when they do them. In “doing you a favor”, their expectation increases that you have to return their favor. This type of person may also complain constantly about all the things they do for you and wonder rhetorically when you’re going to return this favor…

Excessively needy and dependent personalities tend to be people who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, this type of personality you will find often puts forward their own opinions and ideas which can quite often be hiding their manipulative behavior so that it seems as if you are responding on your own accord even though they’ve set up everything to have you respond directly to their neediness.

Narcissists. This is the archetypal manipulative personality and it’s very hard to deal with this master manipulator.

You. Seriously, at one time or other, every single one of us will practice manipulative behaviors in one form or other. It is just that for most people, manipulative actions tend to be one-off or only occasional instances rather than a purposeful map for daily living and interaction with others.

It’s interesting to note the possible types of ways in which people try to manipulate one another.

There are some key behaviors that can end up in manipulation, and it’s helpful to know how to spot them before walking right into them. Some are below.

The assumption statement – this manipulative tactic seeks to turn your behavior into what the beholder perceives it as, whether or not their interpretation is accurate. This soon leads to a guilt trip because no matter what happens, your rejection is proof of the assumption.

He said, she said – this manipulative ploy is pseudo-sociology in action. The manipulator takes it upon themselves to tell you what someone else said was the right thing to do. A third party perhaps your employer, partner or friend. It’s a handy way of pushing aside the responsibility from themselves while loading it all onto you.

The confronting statement is a manipulative approach set about to cause an argument. That way, the provoker will end up making you feel terrible over something you didn’t actually do or say but for which they believe you should feel guilty over anyway and they’ll get a huge chunk of sympathy from others with which they start to manipulate you all over again.

Self-pity manipulation, claiming to be unloved/sick/victimized, etc. At times each one of us has times when we’re really in need of some tender self-care but long-term manipulators can make a habit of being the victim or the one needing special attention. This often happens when you may be getting attention and they long for the attention. This can also be seen as ‘attention seeking’ quite often manipulators are also attention seekers.

The guilt trip – this manipulative behavior seeks to make you feel guilty and is aimed at sending you into the land of “should” rather than standing up for your own values.

Guilt trips are also really high on the list of manipulative personality tools. If you can get someone else to feel guilty, then you’re done! Only trouble is, people wear out after being made to suffer guilt trip after guilt trip and then the manipulator who thinks that he or she is on to a good thing here eventually will lose respect, friends, and will be distanced by those who can’t get away, such as family and co-workers. One of the key things to remember with ‘guilt trippers’ it’s hard to escape the guilt trip. The sooner you stop it the better, and that it’s their guilt trip, not yours.

No matter what age, we can all seem to ‘manipulate’ to some extent to get what we want at some point in our lives.

Fact is some people seem to do it more often to gain what they feel they deserve.

What are your thoughts on manipulation?

 

 

Easy Salmon Balls

Well if like me you are constantly trying to come up with some new ideas to give your toddler to eat, this one is easy.

My little guy is very independant and is now only wanting to feed himself, so coming up with healthy options for finger food wasnt easy. Perhaps your toddler is fussy also? Mine is all about texture – he likes to poke everything and only then if he decides the texture is ok, well then he may eat it.

It also helps them to add some fish into their diets. As we all know fish is full of wonderful minerals including magnesium and omega 3 which is great for brain development and also good for the fatty tissue in skin.

Here is a very simple yet yummy recipe that my little one loves – mainly because he can feed himself!

1 x tin red or pink salmon – drained o f brine

1 x medium sweet potato

1 x half cup bread crumbs

1 x tablespoon lemon juice

2 x tablespoons wholemeal flour

1 x quarter cup of cottage cheese

Method –

Chop the sweet potato into cubes and cook until soft then drain water and mash coarsly.

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees

Combine the salmon, sweet potato, cottage cheese, lemon and flour then roll into balls – approx the size of golf balls

After the balls are rolled – roll them in the bread crumbs and make sure they are well coated

Line a baking tray with baking paper then gently place all the salmon balls on the tray evenly spaced

Bake for approx 10 minutes, watching as to not burn turning as they gow golden.

Welcome – Getting to know me.

So welcome to No Ordinary Mummy, My first Blog 🙂

I’ve always read blogs and have always wanted to start one so now here I have.

A few years ago (8) I met my now husband – got engaged – got married and have recently had our first child. A gorgeous little boy now 15 months old. He is amazing, every day he makes me smile and I feel so blessed to have this healthy, happy, gorgeous it’s little man in my life.

Why am I telling you this personal information you ask? Because I want to be honest with you and let you in on my life…..