Tag Archives: blog

The almost 4 year old and her tantrums.

My dear daughter is 4 in a couple of months. We are deep in throwing tantrums over to most, what would seem like ‘nothing important’.

To her, she has all these ‘BIG’ feelings and is struggling to express herself with words.

Tantrums can be exhausting and frustrating to any parent. But ask yourself, how would you explain your feelings if your vocabulary was limited and your brain was overcome and overwhelmed with different feelings and thoughts?

This is a typical day for a developing child. They have limited vocabulary. Struggle with day to day feelings and the smallest things to them can feel like it’s the biggest thing in their world.

Welcome to 3-4 year olds.

For example, yesterday my almost 4 year old had 2 tantrums within perhaps 20 minutes of each other. The first was because her 6yo brother was watching something that she didn’t want to, and instead of her watching it in another room. Miss decided to scream, stamp her feet and yell all kinds of things because ABC kids was not playing.

After we dealt with that in a calming manner, explaining to her that there is another TV that we could put that channel on for her to watch, she decided to calm her ‘Big’ and ‘important’ feelings.

The second tantrum was because she wanted avocado toast just as we were about to leave for her brothers martial arts class. As I explained to her that she can have it once we get back, that was not a good enough answer for her and she proceeded to sit in the pantry and pull out all boxed items, creating a ‘wall’ so that I could not see her. All whilst screaming at me to stop talking to her.

With this I walked away and let her calm down and within a few minutes it’s, she came over to apologise.

These are only a few examples of what we have been experiencing over the past few months. Prior to this, my little miss almost 4, has been quite well behaved and mannered.

I don’t remember my 6 year old boy behaving this way at her age.
Is it a girl thing?
Is it a second child thing?
Or is it simply because my two children are different people?
It could very well be a combination of all of the above, but in any case, I’m hoping that these tantrums start to dissolve soon.

Below is a link that I have found quite helpful.
Hopefully you will also.

Just remember, breathe and know, this is just a phase. You will survive, and you will both thrive from these ‘adventures’.

http://www.essentialkids.com.au/development-advice/development/four-challenges-of-parenting-a-fouryearold-20130402-2h5t9

Happy Anniversary

3 years.

Yes, it’s been 3 years since I started this blog. Gosh how quickly time flys!

I started it as something for ‘me’ somewhere I can ‘vent’, share experiences and thoughts, it has changed my life and brought me much satisfaction. It has changed me and the way I live my life. Interesting how when you put pen to paper, thoughts and feelings stream along with the after thought of, hey should I post this? Is this too honest? Am I being too open?

Writing a blog requires your time, devotion, commitment, and discipline. Blogging is considered similar to that of a personal journal. It has helped me to be observant of my life, who I allow close to me and gives purpose to my personal growth. It has trained my mind to track life and articulate the changes I’ve been experiencing.

When writing a personal blog, your blog becomes a digital record of your life that is saved “in the cloud.” As a result, it can never be lost, stolen, or destroyed in a fire. Almost consider it a ‘time capsule’.

When I started this blog I had many new things and changes in my life. I’d not long had my first child, I’d recently left my job and we moved our family into the suburbs where I knew no one. It was a huge life change, and so far for the better. Hard at first as I’d left all my ‘familiar’. I had no friends where we moved too, I was putting my little man into a preschool where I knew no one, it was s while new chapter. At first I felt lost and lonely but then I was connecting with other bloggers and readers of my blog. I know some may feel this is a ‘fake’ or ‘questionable’ communication, but it was communicating and to me, it helped me to feel connected with the outside world, in what was unfamiliar territory.

My blog is allowing me to communicate with others, maybe not face to face, but I now have over 6000 followers across my webpage, Facebook and twitter accounts. An achievement that I’m proud of as I don’t self promote nor do I pay for any advertising, oh and I don’t have advertisements on my blog.

To me my blog is about recording thoughts and feelings on paper and opening up and sharing my experience with others, allowing readers to either agree or disagree with me and my writing. Everyone has their own opinion and you may find blogging requires a filter. It’s simply not possible to write about every event, every thought, and every happening in your life. It’s ok to be open and personal, I just think for me especially, I like to hold a little back. Keep some things private.

I’ve found since starting writing my blog about my life and the thoughts that shape it, I’m more inclined to think more intentionally about who I am, who I am becoming, and whether you like what you see or not. Only you can change your thought process and only you can change the way that you live.

Whether it be through comments, e-mails, or social media, you may be surprised at how quickly you meet people on-line. And by meet people, I mean legitimately form relationships that seek to serve one another, a common ground and shared experiences. I’ve found that the blogging community is friendly, encouraging, and most people genuinely are wanting for you to succeed.

Blogging not only changes your life, it also changes the life of the reader, because blogs are free for the audience and open to the public, on many levels, it is an act of giving. It is a selfless act of service to invest your time, energy, and worldview into a piece of writing and then offer it free to anybody who wants to read it. Others may find inspiration in your writing… and that’s a wonderful feeling. There will always be negativity but I try not to allow those negative comments to overtake me. It’s hard yes, but I also know that what I write is the truth and how I feel or what I’ve experienced.

I’ve tried to write about many of my life events. I try not to be to open but still give enough to be relatable.

I’m not a regular blogger, but I do write when I feel inspired.

In my past 3 years of blogging, I’ve perhaps had 2 blogs that have had mean, nasty or negative responses and reactions. I don’t purposely try and create these responses, I simply write about my or someone close to me, life events and sometimes others can relate a little too well and take offence.

If your considering to start a personal blog, I’d say go for it. Give it a go and if you find it’s not for you, nothing lost, but if you love it! Yippee!

So on that note, happy anniversary No Ordinary Mummy! 💕

Parenting differences.

I’m a fairly carefree parent. I do discipline my little ones but I’m certainly not as ‘strict’ as I’ve been told I should be.

I often get ‘looks’ and ‘opinions’ on how I am with my children. They are not ‘brats, however I also know that they are not ‘angles’.

In the past year I’ve had a few mothers distance themselves from us. I’m pretty sure it’s either because I’ve offended them, or my children have. I know this as when we have ‘bumped’ into each other and I’ve suggested a catch up or play date, the conversation either changes or there becomes a strange and uncomfortable silence.

We all parent differently and we all do what works for us.

We all have different needs and expectations within our family’s. I know I don’t judge others by their parenting skills, it’s what works for them, so why should they judge me?

I posted another related article a few weeks ago about ‘if my child is being an ‘A Hole’ please tell me.’ I think this post coincides with that.

We all have differences, don’t judge, don’t distance but please speak up. I find it more offensive to pull away than to tell me the truth. I know I may not appreciate your opinion, however at least I will know where I stand with you and why those awkward conversations and silences hsppen.

Dealing With Parenting Differences Among Friends, Family And Kind Strangers

The Field Trip.

I’m not one to promote anything that I don’t believe in.

Let me start by saying I’m not affiliated with The Field Trip in anyway, nor is this a paid post.

I was approached by The Field Trip a while ago now as the CEO’s wife follows my blog. I offered to write about it back then as after looking at the website I thought it was an awesome organisation. Something that I think is well purposed and that there should be more organisations such as The Field Trip. I however got side tracked when trying to workout how to get all that they do in a single post.

So many good things to say about this organisation however I didn’t want to write an essay. Instead I’ve decided to let you make up your own mind.

The Field Trip is a metaphoric journey, empowering young people to find their passion, peers and path.

The Field Trip’s model for measuring impact and success is inspired by the work of Jane Gleeson-White, and her book: Six Capitals, which highlights a recent revolution in attempting to measure humanity’s impact on the world.

This program helps to enable today’s youth purpose, and the ability to achieve things that many adults perhaps thought they could not achieve.

It offers youth the encouragement and foresight to push themselves in a safe environment.

The Field Trip is a youth leadership program with a difference – a metaphoric journey, opening young people’s eyes to possibilities and opportunities which help them achieve their unique potential and create a positive legacy for the local and global community.

Please, do yourself a favour and have a look at the attached web link.

http://www.thefieldtrip.co/purpose

Is technology ruining our children?

I’ve said a few times that I think technology makes children anti social and causes many other issues.

Here is yet another great read on negative affects that technology has on our children.

This is possibly the third article on this subject that has came into my feed within about a month.

I’m a big believer in everything in moderation. I grew up playing outside, using my imagination and enjoying the outdoors – yes I know, I grew up in a small country town and my childhood was approx 3 decades ago, however I would not change it for the world.

I limit my children’s screen time.

I’ve seen the affects technology can have on children. What negative behaviour it can create. I’m not saying to can it totally, I just think we should all perhaps think prior to passing our little ones our smart phones to ‘keep them quiet or occupied’. Why not read a book with them, play eye spy, kick a ball outside, start drawing, explore in your garden or in a park, collect leaves, make an indoor cubby? So many other options and ways to create fun with our children that does not require technology.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-wealth/201508/screentime-is-making-kids-moody-crazy-and-lazy

Why moms are heros – by Rachel – Finding Joy.

To you, the mother.
To you, perhaps the tired mother who wants to throw her hands in the air and have a good cry over the frustration of the day but can’t even figure out what exactly made it so frustrating. To you the mother with littles who need you 25 hours in a 24 hour day. To you the mother, in whatever season of motherhood you may be in who needs a reminder about motherhood. To you, the mother, who might wonder if all of this mothering stuff really does make a difference.

Well, it does. And here is a small reminder of why.

You see, you are an amazing being. You get up before dawn and go to sleep well past the setting sun. And often, you stay awake through out the nights – waking to the cry of an infant or the whimper of a toddler with a bad dream or up watching for the teenager to return home. You, even though you’re tired, wake in the morning and put a smile on your face and look at those little ones who kept you up through the night and whisper to them I love you. It’s a love that isn’t dependent on sleep or looks or agendas. It’s a mother’s love.

You cook and bake and clean and do it all again. And again. And again. So often when there’s nothing in the pantry you can work your magic and pull a meal together that gets the cheers and hoorays of those sitting around your table. But you have thick skin – often the meals are met with noses turned and sighs and little ones telling you they really don’t like whatever you lovingly prepared. And then, dear mother, you negotiate and barter and set limits and hope that they eat at least two bites before they wash it down with the diluted half milk half chocolate milk mixture.

You are the chief problem solver. You can handle any argument – whose turn it is to unload or load or if one kid is bothering the other way too much. You have limits on name calling, yelling, fibbing, and teasing. You have mastered the art of counting to ten – in a row. You know when to step back and climb the stairs and sit on the floor in the bathroom and count to one hundred and then come out with a renewed sense of energy. And even if you don’t have you just push through. And sometimes, it means pbjs or pancakes for dinner – and then your kids think you’re even cooler.

You budget and drive and clean. And laundry? You breathe it. Day in and day out and day in and day out. Those mystery and long lost socks are no match for you the sorter, folder, and organizer. And even when you get behind you still joke about taming Mount Washmore even though really, really you wish for just one week where you didn’t have to fold all of those clothes. But, deep down, hidden in there, you know that this is a season – a sweet season – where the onesies, blankets, size 2T socks, soccer shorts, and leotards get to be in your wash. So you breathe deep and try to remember the value and sweetness of these fleeting years while you fold the stack of wrinkled t-shirts.

You, dear mother, are amazing. So often you look at all others are doing and then you measure yourself with a stick that is much too short. You’ll look at all they do and miss the amazing things you do. No one knows your kids the way you do – their quirks, sense of humor, and how to finally get them to stay in bed. You know when to just ignore the noise and keep on talking. You know them. You go to bed exhausted and wake up tired and yet you still give and do it the next day because you love the ones who call you mom.

You need a reminder today, a reminder of your greatness. And so today, to you the chief budget keeper, problem solver, sock folder, rocking chair rocker, temperature taker, sitter up till the teen gets home, sweeper, toy sorter for the tenth time in a day, listener, driver to and fro, cooker, cleaner, medicine giver, tamer of the laundry, repeated reader of books, and giver of self you need to remember that what you are doing today makes a difference.

It matters.

Motherhood matters greatly. The littles or middles or bigs in your home look at you. Their mom. They see the good – the way you give, the sweet things you do, the meals you make – and they love you. You deserve to be loved. And sometimes, sometimes they forget to tell you. Sometimes they yell at you or don’t obey or say things like I hate you and all of that. Those things don’t define you. Instead of quitting you just keep going. You go through sleepless nights, tight budgets, crabby kids, worry about tomorrow, homework being lost, times being sick, more sleepless nights, and all of the above plus more. Those tender hugs from years passed matter just as much today as do those moments where you want to whisper I quit but instead keep going.

That is my definition of a hero.

You are a hero.

Every single day. When you get up and rise and love on those kids and give of self. Don’t ever listen to the lies of the world that tell you that you are only a good mom if you do x, y, and z. Motherhood isn’t graded by the number of pinterest projects completed, or clever facebook status updates, or perfectly executed birthday parties, or the number on the scale. Motherhood isn’t this quantifiable thing – it’s not graded by everything you accomplish, but rather is a beautiful example of giving of self and loving even when the reserve tank is empty.

Your heart gives everyday.

So you, sweet mother, today I want you to move through your day – no matter how your day is – and remember that you are making a difference. Those kids who seem forever young will grow. And you, you are the one blessed with today and the time to walk that growing up journey with them. In all the bumps, twists, turns, and ups and downs no matter what you are their mother.

And that is something to be absolutely celebrated today.

Carry on hero.

~Rachel

Wholesome Child.

For those who know me, know that I love to bake!

I don’t think there is a better scent than that of freshly baked goodies. 😉

I try to bake and make healthy treats for me any my family, especially my two kiddies. I also try to make sugar free or refined sugar free and use wholemeal or whole grains where I can.

I just happened to find this on Instagram, got to love social media 😉 I am no way affiliated with them, but after scrolling through their webpage and recipes I wanted to share.

So for those of you like me, trying to be healthy, check out these recipes. Yummy! I plan on baking some tomorrow!

http://www.wholesomechild.com.au/recipe_category/healthy-treats/

The 3rd child?

So on the weekend my husband bought up the ‘3rd’ child question….

We currently have a 3yo boy and a 17mo girl. I feel complete, and extremely blessed. One of each is perfect for me. I have enough time with each and was questioning how would I manage another? We are in a great routine, they play so well together, they both sleep through the night, they adore each other, why ‘rock the boat’ so to speak.

Well firstly I was extremely shocked that my hubby bought this subject up, as he was the one that never wanted children. I basically gave him the ultimatum. He knew that when he proposed he was definitely having babies with me. He still proposed so he must not have worried too much about this.

Once we had our little man he then again said, no more babies I want my wife back and one is plenty, well again we had a chat and yes, we now also have a daughter. We have 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart, fun, happy and healthy little people. I feel completely besotted by them and am happy with the 2 children so you can imagine the shock when hubby bought up a third.

He was away last week for business and clearly missed us. His conversation Saturday went something like this.
‘Babe, do you ever get a pang for another baby?’

Well I nearly fell off my chair and replied, ‘yes I do, but I thought we agreed that the 2 that we have are perfect?’.

Hubby’s response, ‘after being away the past week I really missed you, little man and princess, I was thinking about having a third with you, would you consider it? Would you put your body through it again?’ (FYI, I get really bad morning/ all day sickness, with complicated pregnancy and difficult to actually fall pregnant)

My response, ‘I would put my body through it, absolutely, but we have 2 amazing little ones, do we really want a third?’

Hubby, ‘Hmmm I know, I just think how great a mum you are, how much our kids adore you and how beautiful our kids are, gives me pangs’.

Me, ‘Hmmm’.

So this was never a position I thought I’d be in. I’m pretty sure I’m completely happy with 2, I am one of 3 and remember that one of my siblings was always left out. I feel like 2 always play together and 1 is on the outer? Not sure. I think I’d want 4 rather than 2.

I know I have enough love.

We will see…..

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_source=FB

Intimidation

Intimidation

I dont get intimidated. I’m a pretty strong minded and strong personality that I don’t allow negativity to get to me, nor do I allow ‘idiots’ to create negative in my life.

Yes I’ve had my fair share of idiots creating issues, I just don’t allow it to affect me. It’s been hard, but I have learnt. Especially since writing my blog. People will seldom give compliments, instead they feel it’s their right to be negative and point out faults in either my stories, words, experiences or Grammer. But that’s their issue. Yes it used to make me self doubt, but I’ve grown to ignore most negatives. It’s simply not worthwhile.

Of late I’ve been reading lots of blogs about bullying. I don’t agree with it and I actually condone it. It’s the lowest form of gaining attention.

My theory is that those who bully have their own issue’s and are ‘lashing’ out and taking it out on others to make themselves feel better. If they have nothing better do to with their time, other than to intimidate or be negative towards others, well that’s their issues and perhaps they need to get a hobby.

Bullying creates low self esteem in others and also self doubt. I guess that’s what the ‘bully’ is seeking? To make others feel insecure, bad about themselves and negative?

In most cases with bullying, these people are self entered and suffer low self esteem which is why they feel attacked and then react by attacking others caused by their own insecurities. These people have ‘issues’ which is why they bully others, to make themselves feel better about the person that they are.

But why?

Bullying is a huge problem world wide that can have huge repercussions. It is becoming more of an issue in schools, online, sporting groups and also behind closed doors.

There are many forms of bullying.

Cyber bullying
This is where the bully is ‘attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via the internet, social media, email or somehow ‘electronic’, carried out online or through mobile phones or computers.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them)
Accessing internet accounts without permission

Indirect bullying
This is where the bully is attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via another source. Possibly another person or ‘indirectly’. They are not contacting the victim direct.

Direct bullying
This is where the bully is attacking you or contacting you directly. Either face to face, over the phone or ‘targeted’ directly at you.

Physical bullying
This involves hitting, shoving, pushing, tripping, and other kinds of unwanted force.

Verbal bullying
This involves hurtful comments, name-calling, teasing. Slander, using hurtful words and or phrases to ‘attack’, hurt or offend the victim.

Social bullying
This involves using relationships to hurt someone.

Bullying could include using SMS, email or social networking sites to harass or abuse someone.

It is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

There are ways to stop bullying.

Firstly report it.

You can report it to the police or to an organisation like I have. I have put contact links below for you.

Talk to someone about it.

You are not alone, there are reasons why these people are called ‘trolls’ it’s because they are not nice people who are generally unhappy within themselves and are pushing their own issues onto others.

A lot of bullying happens via social media, almost so that the bully can remain ‘face less’ or ‘hidden’. If you are bullying via social media, why? Are you too afraid to speak up in person? – I’m certainly not saying it’s ok to bully face to face but hiding behind a compute is a cowardly act.

Bullying altogether is a cowardly act.

Remember all bullying is a crime which you can be convicted for.

A criminal conviction that will have repercussions for the rest of your life. You may loose your job, you may loose access to your children, you may loose respect of your peers but most importantly you can go to jail for this.

It doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are. Bullying is not on and you will get caught and hopefully reprimanded.

There are too many incidences where this is not bought to the attention of others and sadly it can result in someone taking their own life.

Did you know that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube all ban cyber bullying?

If you have been bullied online or otherwise, have seen bullying online or otherwise or are worried that you may have bullied someone else online and you don’t know what to do next, you can get free, confidential legal advice from Lawmail.

So what is the definition of bullying?

Bullying is behaviour that is meant to be hurtful.
It targets a certain person or group of people.
It happens more than once; and
embarrasses, threatens or intimidates the person being bullied.

Is cyber bullying a crime?

Cyber bullying can be a crime under either South Australian or national law when it involves:

Cyber bullying is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them). Accessing internet accounts without permission.

Defamation (spreading lies to intentionally hurt someone’s reputation).

Encouraging suicide.

Menacing, harassing or offensive use of the internet or a mobile.

It is a crime to use a phone or the internet in threaten, harass or seriously offend somebody.

A message or post could be considered offensive if it is likely to cause serious anger, outrage, humiliation or disgust. The maximum penalty is 3 years in jail.

Let’s put a stop to bullying.
#StopBullying
#NoMoreBullies

http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/

http://m.cybersmart.gov.au

http://www.lawstuff.org.au/sa_law/topics/bullying/cyber-bullying

My little big boy.

My sweet boy will be turning 4 in approx 6 weeks.

Where has the time gone?

It breaks my heart to think he is ‘growing up’. He is my first born and my only boy. (I only have 2 children my baby is a girl)

I’m so proud that he is growing up but and feel torn that I’m loosing my ‘baby boy’.

I’m excited for all his adventures ahead and enjoy watching him, explore, learn and develop. It’s surreal how his personality is developing and how each week his language, thought process and maturity evolves.

This bought tears to my eyes. Happiness and sad. I call him my little big boy. He is growing ‘big’ but no matter how ‘big’ he gets, he will always be ‘my little boy’. ❤️

http://www.scarymommy.com/problem-4-year-olds/?utm_source=FB