Tag Archives: Age

School age debate.

School age debate.

I know this is a topic, often a spoken about, not always a positive topic, yet a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion on. So I thought that I would ‘chime in’ also as recently there was a ‘heated’ debate about it in the kindergarten playground.

I was faced with a confronting and unwelcome conversation last week by a woman that I don’t know. I was standing in the kindergarten playground chatting with other kindergarten mothers about nothing in particular when a mother that I had never met before starting making comments about our children.

See, we all have children who started kindergarten this year, and we also coincidentally have children that are turning 3 this year some boys, some girls. So when this woman passed comment that our ‘babies’ will also be going through school together, I said “that’s great will your daughter be going to kindergarten 2020?”. Not realising I had just unleashed her favourite topic!

She quickly responded with ‘no, my daughter is going 2021, why would you send your daughter early?, I mean sending a child too young has so many negative effects on them, why would you do that to her?”. I almost felt like I was being personally attacked, or that I was making a terrible decision and possibly ruining my dear daughters life.

I was taken aback – which rarely happens, and because of my silence, this woman thought it was her right to then lecture me on all the negative reasons as to why I should wait and send my daughter to kindergarten when she is 5 turning 6. You see, in her opinion sending my daughter 4 turning 5 in the May, is way too young and will undoubtedly end with teen pregnancy, under age drinking, lack of intelligence, slow learning, being left out of rep sporting teams, being easily influenced by others, difficulties with learning and socialising, and her extensive list went on. And on. And on. (Her words)

I was horrified at her response. I mean. This is the first time I’d ever met her. What a front she has to lecture anyone on their family decisions and what is best for someone else’s children. Too opinionated for my liking, that is for sure.

It really put me in a weird mindset, it made me question my husband and my decision and left me feeling quite angry and deflated. This was mind you, first thing in the morning so it played on my mind quite a lot that day. I spoke to a few friends throughout the day to vent and also get their opinions, of whom I value, and they, my friends much like myself, are of similar mindset with the school age decisions.

I also spoke to my little mans kindergarten teacher later that afternoon as this woman’s righteousness was confronting. I wanted to speak to a teacher who deals with children of varying ages on a daily basis and this teacher also, has over 13 years primary school teaching behind her. The kindergarten teacher is also of the same mindset as myself. That is, that each child is individual and ready at their own pace and in their own time.

I think I will have a better idea as to when we should start her in kindergarten once she starts preschool, however at the moment, my little miss who is not yet 3, knows her alphabet, can count to 20, dresses and undresses herself, copies and repeats her big brothers sight words, mock reads books, is extremely social, not shy, is really confident, will sit colour and draw by herself, can hold a pen or pencil with correct pen grip, will listen and take instruction and can sit through a whole movie, I think I will be ready but time will tell.

All kids are in my view, are individual and each to their own, however with this woman’s rant it got me thinking of all the negative effects that sending a child to school 5 turning 6 May encounter.

A few that really stand out to me are,
– Being an adult doing their HSC.
– Being 18, which is legal age to drink in Australia, which may mean the 18 year old who is still in high school, can and possibly will go out drinking. Is drinking whilst at school appropriate?
– Being older and holding a drivers license which at involve having other school children driving with them.
– Being older and influencing younger students mindsets.
– Wanting to ‘grow up’ too young.
– Will they get distracted or bored easily from being older?

Look, I get that this is a very personal topic, I think that either way, sending your child at 4 or 5, if you are raising your children in a way that you feel appropriate and comfortable with, your child will make the right decisions. They will know what is acceptable and hopefully make good decisions. It’s very individual based on each child differently.

I see valid points from both sides, however what I didn’t appreciate was being ‘force fed’ this woman’s opinion and how forthcoming she was with telling me how terrible I was as a parent for even considering sending my daughter to kindergarten at age 4 with her birthday in May.

What are your thoughts?

 

Self sufficient tweens

When should children become self sufficient?

I know many families with children and my sister has 3, friends have multiple children and other extended family have many also.

What intrigues me is, when should they become self sufficient or independent?

I know many Tweens / teens that are exceptionally independant and crave to be self sufficient. They go off after school and ‘hang out’ with their friends, on weekends they ‘hang out’ with friends and are often seeking to do things independently. BUT at what age is this acceptable and what age do kids become more independent?

From my experience it varies. It also depends on how these children have been raised and what they are taught.

My sisters children are 14, 12 and almost 9. The 2 eldest are girls and are extremely independant and self sufficient. They make their own breakfast of a morning, they make their beds every day – these beds are Alison double beds, they help with household chores without being asked too, including mowing the lawns, helping with the dishes, folding of washing and hanging out of washing. They also assist at meal times with preparation. They often go to friends for sleep overs on a weekend and movie dates (with friends) etc without adult supervision.

In my opinion I guess it’s the maturity of these children / teens / Tweens also. My sisters girls are quite mature and I guess have a sense of self satisfaction in being able to do things for themselves.

I had a friend over earlier this week also who has a 14 year old girl and also a 12 year old girl. Now they too are very self sufficient and independant. They both catch public transport to and from school and walk from the train station home. The walk is approx 15 minutes and is a very safe area but they want to walk. They want to be able to do things for themselves.

Is 12 too young to walk alone or with friends though?

I remember walking too and from school in primary school. With some friends or alone. It was a good 25-30 minute walk but I enjoyed it. It made me feel ‘grown up’ to an extent and I felt ‘cool’ being able to do that for myself.

I also know other children who are also within this age group, 13 but have no independence nor are close to being self sufficient. These Children struggle to do anything for them-selves including picking out clothes to wear. Still asking if they should wear long pants on a cold day and struggle to make themselves a sandwich. Perhaps this is their parents fault? The parents have always treated their children as babies so to speak, they have mollycoddled them and still do.

How are children supposed to be independent if not given the opportunity but also, why are some children not seeking independence? I distinctly remember wanting to go be with my friends on a weekend, or wanting to just do things for myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to not be home, but I wanted to be able to do things for myself.

Perhaps times have just changed and children don’t want to be self sufficient?

But then why do I know so many Tweens seeking independence?

I believe that by law children are not allowed to stay home by themselves if 11 years old or under. Which I agree with but this doesn’t include them walking 10 minutes with a group of friends to get home right?

Most parents work do how can they get picked up? Or I guess those children are in some sort of after school care?

Should children be ok to walk home alone or in a group?

I know the dangers of pedophiles etc but again, is this based on the maturity of the child?

What are your thoughts on children being self sufficient is it age appropriate or based on maturity?

Too old for a bikini?

Too old for a bikini?

At what age is it no longer appropriate to wear a bikini? I’m on an amazing sunny holiday with my two loves, my beautiful husband and my gorgeous little 19 month old boy – both are my world. I look around and see many women wearing bikini’s and some look ok others I wonder…

Am I being a prude? Is there an age were it’s no longer socially acceptable to wear a bikini? I’ve been reading other forums on this matter and have came up with some questions. Is it a self confidence thing? You wear it because you think you look great? Is it polite to stop embarrassing yourself and or your children? You may think you look great but what about others if your over exposing?

I have a friend whom is stunning and gorgeous! She is in her early 40’s and has 2 children but the body of a super model and she refuses to wear a bikini. When I questioned her on why when is looks amazing, her response was that it’s not age appropriate over 40.

I know this will cause some controversy but I tend to agree with her. You have all the younger years to flaunt what you have, why is it that you want to continue to flaunt it?

Are you that in love with yourself that you feel others need to see your body also?

Do you have the mentality of ‘who cares’ what others think?

Do you think ‘if you have it, flaunt it’?

Believe me, there are some very small bikinis out there which I really feel are inappropriate on older women.

Perhaps I am a prude, but there are many stunning full piece swim suits that would look a lot nicer on many women. I don’t care how thin or fit you are sometimes covering up is nicer to look at and less embarrassing to your children. They may not be telling you in fear of offending you but there is one very outspoken approx 6yo here asking his mother to put a dress over her bikini as it’s ’embarrassing’.

I know we all talk about body confidence but is there such a thing as age appropriate or too much body confidence?