Tag Archives: 5

School age debate.

School age debate.

I know this is a topic, often a spoken about, not always a positive topic, yet a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion on. So I thought that I would ‘chime in’ also as recently there was a ‘heated’ debate about it in the kindergarten playground.

I was faced with a confronting and unwelcome conversation last week by a woman that I don’t know. I was standing in the kindergarten playground chatting with other kindergarten mothers about nothing in particular when a mother that I had never met before starting making comments about our children.

See, we all have children who started kindergarten this year, and we also coincidentally have children that are turning 3 this year some boys, some girls. So when this woman passed comment that our ‘babies’ will also be going through school together, I said “that’s great will your daughter be going to kindergarten 2020?”. Not realising I had just unleashed her favourite topic!

She quickly responded with ‘no, my daughter is going 2021, why would you send your daughter early?, I mean sending a child too young has so many negative effects on them, why would you do that to her?”. I almost felt like I was being personally attacked, or that I was making a terrible decision and possibly ruining my dear daughters life.

I was taken aback – which rarely happens, and because of my silence, this woman thought it was her right to then lecture me on all the negative reasons as to why I should wait and send my daughter to kindergarten when she is 5 turning 6. You see, in her opinion sending my daughter 4 turning 5 in the May, is way too young and will undoubtedly end with teen pregnancy, under age drinking, lack of intelligence, slow learning, being left out of rep sporting teams, being easily influenced by others, difficulties with learning and socialising, and her extensive list went on. And on. And on. (Her words)

I was horrified at her response. I mean. This is the first time I’d ever met her. What a front she has to lecture anyone on their family decisions and what is best for someone else’s children. Too opinionated for my liking, that is for sure.

It really put me in a weird mindset, it made me question my husband and my decision and left me feeling quite angry and deflated. This was mind you, first thing in the morning so it played on my mind quite a lot that day. I spoke to a few friends throughout the day to vent and also get their opinions, of whom I value, and they, my friends much like myself, are of similar mindset with the school age decisions.

I also spoke to my little mans kindergarten teacher later that afternoon as this woman’s righteousness was confronting. I wanted to speak to a teacher who deals with children of varying ages on a daily basis and this teacher also, has over 13 years primary school teaching behind her. The kindergarten teacher is also of the same mindset as myself. That is, that each child is individual and ready at their own pace and in their own time.

I think I will have a better idea as to when we should start her in kindergarten once she starts preschool, however at the moment, my little miss who is not yet 3, knows her alphabet, can count to 20, dresses and undresses herself, copies and repeats her big brothers sight words, mock reads books, is extremely social, not shy, is really confident, will sit colour and draw by herself, can hold a pen or pencil with correct pen grip, will listen and take instruction and can sit through a whole movie, I think I will be ready but time will tell.

All kids are in my view, are individual and each to their own, however with this woman’s rant it got me thinking of all the negative effects that sending a child to school 5 turning 6 May encounter.

A few that really stand out to me are,
– Being an adult doing their HSC.
– Being 18, which is legal age to drink in Australia, which may mean the 18 year old who is still in high school, can and possibly will go out drinking. Is drinking whilst at school appropriate?
– Being older and holding a drivers license which at involve having other school children driving with them.
– Being older and influencing younger students mindsets.
– Wanting to ‘grow up’ too young.
– Will they get distracted or bored easily from being older?

Look, I get that this is a very personal topic, I think that either way, sending your child at 4 or 5, if you are raising your children in a way that you feel appropriate and comfortable with, your child will make the right decisions. They will know what is acceptable and hopefully make good decisions. It’s very individual based on each child differently.

I see valid points from both sides, however what I didn’t appreciate was being ‘force fed’ this woman’s opinion and how forthcoming she was with telling me how terrible I was as a parent for even considering sending my daughter to kindergarten at age 4 with her birthday in May.

What are your thoughts?

 

Growing up.

Growing up.

Today was a tough day for me. Emotionally.

Today I took my almost 5 year old to ‘transition day’ at his soon to be, ‘big School’. Yes my little man is off to kindergarten next year. (2018)

It was a big day for us both. I was emotional because I know he is growing up, and too fast for me. I was nervous for him as we walked into the unknown. The front gates of ‘big school’ that is possibly 10 times bigger than his current preschool. Not to mention the transition that he will discover from going to preschool 3 days per week, to going to kindergarten 5 days per week.

It feels like only yesterday that I held my 3.53kg bundle of love in my arms. Looking down at him longingly and adoring everything about him. From his teeny tiny nose, to his beautiful little fingers and toes and big brown eyes that still to this day, have me mesmerised.

Today showed me just how much my little man has grown up. He may only be 4 (almost 5, November) but, he showed me so much maturity that I was super proud. Im always proud of him, but today I was gleaming.

He took everything in his stride. He was not nervous, he was not scared, he was not sad. He was excited for the path that lay ahead. The smile on his face and his inquisitive eyes showed me just how ready he is for this next chapter.

My heart was bursting with pride for this little man that I am raising. He was such a gentleman when meeting his new teachers and peers and showed me that all the little things that I have been instilling in him, he has in fact taken on board.

Little things like looking at someone’s eyes when they are speaking to you, smiling politely and answering politely when spoken too, raising his hand when he wants to speak in a group setting and allowing his peers through doorways etc rather than pushing and shoving to get somewhere first, being respectful, thoughtful and courteous etc.

Today we bought ‘Big School’ uniforms and his school bag. Seeing him try on his new uniform definitely gave me a lump in my throat, holding back the tears as I didn’t want him to see me cry.

If ever I get a tear in my eye, he is straight away comforting me, asking me if I’m ok, hugging me and holding my hand tight. For such a rough and tumble robust boy, he is such a beautiful soul.

As he stood there examining himself in the mirror and asked me if he looked ‘Smart’. I told him yes and very handsome. He replied “handsome is good mum, but you always say that. I want to look Smart like I know stuff”. I quietly knew that, so confirmed to him, that yes, he most definitely looks “Smart”.

The emotions of being his mum fill me with happiness each and every day. I am not one to struggle with words, but words can’t describe my love and how proud I am of my boy.

I can not believe that my eldest and only boy (who will always be my little boy) is off to kindergarten. His kind soul and caring ways will hopefully see him succeed in whatever he chooses in his path.

Next year I’m sure I will have butterflies swarming in my tummy and tears rolling down my face as I bid him farewell as he walks through the front gate of his ‘big school’.

I know that within all my heart he is ready. He is eager to learn and is excited for his new chapter.

Although he is growing up, I’m very much enjoying watching my little boy grow and turn into such a sweet, humble, caring and loving person.

As his preschool chapter is coming to an end, his big school journey is beginning and I will always have memories.

Where, oh where, have the past 5 years gone? ❤️

5 words

5 words!

I was chatting with hubby over the recent holidays about words that I ‘apparently’ say ‘all the time’. We were having a giggle and he says ‘you always say this, do you know what it means?’ Of course my response was ‘yes, if I’m using the words of course I know the meaning’.

So he tested me. 😉 that’s my forever academic hubby! Keeps me on my toes.

So I just wanted to share my ‘words’ that I ‘apparently’ use all the time.

This is not my made up meaning, I actually have copied the true meaning from the dictionary – just to prove to hubby that I do know what I’m talking about!

Melodramatsing / Melodramatic –
melodramatic
mɛlədrəˈmatɪk/
adjective
adjective: melodramatic
relating to melodrama.
“a melodramatic comedy about Slavic miners”
characteristic of melodrama, especially in being exaggerated or overemotional.
“he flung the door open with a melodramatic flourish”
synonyms: exaggerated, histrionic, extravagant, overdramatic, overdone, overripe, over-sensational, sensationalized, overemotional, sentimental;More
theatrical, stagy, actressy, actorly;
informalhammy
“he flung the door open with a melodramatic flourish”
antonyms: calm, stoical

Retaliate –
rɪˈtalɪeɪt/
verb
verb: retaliate; 3rd person present: retaliates; past tense: retaliated; past participle: retaliated; gerund or present participle: retaliating
make an attack in return for a similar attack.
“the blow stung and she retaliated immediately”
synonyms: fight back, strike back, hit back, respond, react, reply, reciprocate, counterattack, return fire, return the compliment, put up a fight, take the bait, rise to the bait, return like for like, get back at someone, get, give tit for tat, give as good as one gets, let someone see how it feels, give someone a dose/taste of their own medicine; More
have/get/take one’s revenge, take/exact/wreak revenge, be revenged, revenge oneself, avenge oneself, take reprisals, get even, even the score, settle a/the score, settle accounts, pay someone back (in their own coin), pay someone out, repay someone, exact retribution, take an eye for an eye (and a tooth for a tooth);
informalgive someone their comeuppance;
informalget one’s own back;
raregive someone a Roland for an Oliver
“they could torment him without his being able to retaliate”
antonyms: turn the other cheek
archaic
repay (an injury or insult) in kind.
“they used their abilities to retaliate the injury”

Humiliated –
humiliate
hjʊˈmɪlɪeɪt/
verb
past tense: humiliated; past participle: humiliated
make (someone) feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their dignity and pride.
“you’ll humiliate me in front of the whole school!”
synonyms: embarrass, mortify, humble, show up, shame, make ashamed, put to shame;disgrace, discomfit, chasten, subdue, abash, abase, debase, demean, degrade, deflate, crush, quash, squash, bring down, bring low, cause to feel small, cause to lose face, make someone eat humble pie, take down a peg or two; informalput down, cut down to size, settle someone’s hash; informalmake someone eat crow; informalown
“you’ll humiliate me in front of the whole school”
embarrassing, mortifying, humbling, ignominious, inglorious, shaming, shameful;
discreditable, undignified, discomfiting, chastening, debasing, demeaning, degrading, deflating, crushing, quashing, squashing, bringing down, bringing low;
informalblush-making;
rarehumiliatory
“a humiliating election defeat”

Monotonous –
monotonous
məˈnɒt(ə)nəs/
adjective
dull, tedious, and repetitious; lacking in variety and interest.
“the statistics that he quotes with monotonous regularity”
synonyms: tedious, boring, dull, uninteresting, unexciting, wearisome, tiresome, repetitive, repetitious, unvarying, unchanging, unvaried, lacking variety, without variety, humdrum, ho-hum, routine, mechanical, mind-numbing, soul-destroying, prosaic, run-of-the-mill, uneventful, unrelieved, dreary, plodding, colourless, featureless, dry as dust, uniform, monochrome; More
(of a sound or utterance) lacking in variation in tone or pitch.
“her slurred monotonous speech”
synonyms: toneless, flat, unvarying, uninflected, droning, soporific
“a monotonous voice”

Hectic –
hectic
ˈhɛktɪk/
adjective
adjective: hectic
1.
full of incessant or frantic activity.
“a hectic business schedule”
synonyms: frantic, frenetic, frenzied, feverish, manic, restless, very busy, very active, fast and furious; More
lively, brisk, bustling, buzzing, vibrant, crowded;
informallike Piccadilly Circus
“a hectic business schedule”
antonyms: leisurely, quiet
2.
MEDICINEarchaic
relating to or affected by a regularly recurrent fever typically accompanying tuberculosis, with flushed cheeks and hot, dry skin.
nounMEDICINEarchaic
noun: hectic; plural noun: hectics
1.
a hectic fever or flush.

I know I use these words a lot and now that he has picked me up on them I think I will make a conscience effort to choose different words.

The thing is though, I’m comfortable with these words and seem to use them in correct Grammer so maybe I should just get the thesaurus out and use different words with the same meaning?

What are your most used words?

What do you think your words say about you?

Why do you think you use those words regularly?

I’d love to hear from you.

Helping your child deal with frustrations.

Such a great read!

My little guy can become frustrated and angry, he is only 3, and as a result he ‘flips out’.

This is a result of many things.

– The fact that he cannot articulate his feelings at this stage. He doesn’t really know what he is feeling except happy or angry or sad. ‘Feelings’ are generally acknowledged around age 5/6.

– He cannot control his emotions properly. This is something that is generally learnt around 4/5 years old.

– He could be feeling overwhelmed.

– He may be overtired. I don’t always know if he is waking through the night. A disruptive sleep can make anyone short tempered.

– Hunger. He could be having a ‘growth spurt’ and may very well be hungry. Or he could be too busy playing or doing something that he doesn’t eat enough. We can only monitor so much so if he isn’t eating properly he may not be able to deal with various situations. I know I’m I’m hungry. I can get angry and not even realise!

A great tip that I’ve learnt from this article to help children deal with anger and frustration is creating a ‘Mad List’. I’ve copied the paragraph from this article explaining ‘Mad List’. Very easy to do and I think, would be useful.

Mad list – When my son was younger, a mad list was the secret to helping him vent his frustration. Young children need to vent (just like adults), but they don’t yet know how to do that. Screaming and flailing feels good in the moment, so they go with what works.

Ask your child to name all of the things that make him mad. Write down his list on a piece of paper while he vents his emotions. Provide empathy and understanding while you do this. Kids need to feel understood, and a simple, “Ooh, that makes me mad, too!” shows that you get it. Once the list is complete, ask your child to tear it into tiny pieces (this provides a much needed physical release of emotion) and throw them in the air. Then collect the pieces together and throw them out for good.

Go on. Do yourself a favour, click on this link and have a read.
You may already use these strategies.
You may have already heard of them.
If you haven’t, perhaps try them?
If you already use them, how have they worked for you?

Id love to hear your experiences and thoughts on these.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/02/teach-frustration-tolerance-kids/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pbsparents&utm_campaign=parents_expert

Mia Freedman

26 beauty truths only mothers understand. (Or aunts)

I just read the best article from an extremely funny journalist. Mia Freedman. Mia is the brains and braun behind ‘MamaMia’ blog, website and much more.

I only have a toddler who happens to be a boy however  my sister has 3 beautiful children whom I am extremely close with so these ring true from them. My sisters kids are now 13, 11 and 8 with the 2 eldest being girls. ‘Tweens’ and ‘teenagers’ are always experimenting finding their own style and comfort zone with both clothes and make up.

I myself only wear make up on special occasions which is basically only ever mascara, eye liner and lippy and perhaps 3 time per year but this story made me smirk with happiness and automatically filled me with find memories.

 

Please read Mia’s story below.

Once the baby’s out, your beauty routine will never go back to the way it was.

Don’t like sharing your lipstick? Too late.

Your body is not the only thing that changes after you have a baby. Your beauty routine does too, because you’re never alone in your bathroom and you have no time.

Remember the days of luxuriating in the bath or cranking up the music while you spend a satisfying 25 minutes trying to perfect a make-up trick you saw in a magazine?

BAHAHAHAHAHHAAA.

How times change. Here are the beauty truths only mothers can understand.

1. Your bikini line is now something for public commentary. “My mummy has a hairy front bum” is something every child will announce, usually in a supermarket queue.

2. Having to answer these and 100 other questions while putting on makeup or doing your hair: “What actually happens when you die? What rocks are made of? Where do farts go when you can’t smell them anymore?”

3. Eye makeup remover is the best way to remove lipstick from all over your child’s face. Also from the carpet and the dog.

4. Red lipstick and black eyeliner are the best way to create realistic looking scars and wounds. Particularly useful at Halloween.

5. You no longer associate the word ‘bath’ with relaxation or peace. Instead, you associate it with 37 bath toys and an inevitable tantrum when it’s time to wash hair.

6. Doing your makeup takes twice as long because your children want to play with all the brushes / EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

7. Eyeshadow is a bitch to get out of tiles when someone drops it on the floor and it smashes into a thousand powdery pieces.

8. You will be judged when you take your 2-year-old to the nail salon, even though you just really needed to get a pedicure and that’s what iPads were invented for.

9. You will always have chipped nail polish and chipped nails. Always.

10. You embrace ‘natural’ makeup because you actually have no time for the routine you once had and who actually cares what you look like today?

11. You will be asked “what’s that on your face, mummy?” as curious fingers are pointed at your pimples, moles and freckles.

12. Your GHD is covered in inches of dust, and you can’t remember the last time you switched it on.

13. Cleansing your face with anything other than a facial wipe? Not going to happen.

14. You have to keep your makeup hidden at all times, because lipsticks, even really, really expensive ones, are crayons.

15. You become an expert at putting makeup on without a mirror in two minutes flat because LITTLE CHILDREN. (This explains a lot about how I look before my first office bathroom visit of the day).

16. You can’t blow-dry your hair properly because either a) your child hates the sound of the hairdryer and will wail the whole time it’s running or b) loves the sound of the hairdryer and just keeps insisting you turn it on them in a HILARIOUS game.

17. “Grooming” now means shaving your legs once a month. In winter, it’s once every three months.

18. Shapewear. Shapewear. Shapewear.

19. “Doing your hair” now means just spraying it with dry shampoo.

20. Conversations like this when you’re putting on makeup:

“But Mama WHY are you painting your face?”

“Because it makes me feel good.

“Why does it make you feel good?”

“Er… because it makes me feel nicer.”

“But why? it looks sticky. Can I put it on?”

“No, little boys don’t really wear makeup…”

“But why? I want to look like a vampire too.”

(oh.)

21. Finding your makeup brushes being used as paint brushes. And the paint is… (oh no) your eye shadow. And the canvas is (oh no)… the wall.

22. Explaining to your three year old that she is too pretty for makeup… and then putting in on yourself.

23. Answering the urgent question every single day: “No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet… No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet. No, your hair isn’t a long as Elsa’s yet…”

24. Acting nonchalant when your daughter tells you that she has put “nappies” on her “babies” – the nappies being an entire packet of pads!

25. When your daughter becomes a teenager, you must start hiding every beauty product you own because she nicks them. All. The. Time.

26. On the flipside, you get to start nicking hers when she starts buying cool stuff.

You can read Mia’s other stories at:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/author/mia/

http://www.mamamia.com.au

http://www.theglow.com.au/beauty/beauty-for-mothers-truths/?mm

Step children.

On my recent holiday to Fiji I met some lovely people. All different and from various countries but no the less similar.

It seems almost 1 in 3 family’s have step children. Given that the divorce rates here in Australia alone are high, statistics show that approx 48% of marriage ends in divorce.

This one woman I met was quite opinionated on her step child.

On day 4 of our holiday my toddler and I were swimming in one of the family friendly pools when she came with her 2 year old daughter to play with us. My little one had a dump truck, spade and rake in the pool which seemed to be a hit with other children.

So the usual conversation started, she asked me then I asked her the same questions,’how long have you been here, how long are you staying, is this your first Fiji trip, who are you with? Etc

Her response was she was with her husband, their two daughters and her husbands son.

Her husbands son I thought? She then elaborated that She and her husband had been together 13 years and they had 2 daughters together, a 5 year old and a 2 year old. The ‘husbands son’ was 19 and from his previous relationship. I didn’t divulge any deeper but she was more than happy to tell me all about the situation.

The husbands son seems to be the ‘favourite’ child, let’s face it when it comes to break ups, there is always pity on the ‘poor child’ who’s parents are no longer together.

She went on to tell me that she didn’t have much to do with him as he is bad mannered, disrespectful towards her, arrogant and expecting. He apparently ‘wants for nothing and receive’s all he asks for, she mentioned that they are certainly not wealthy but the father buys and does whatever the son asks. She also proceeded to tell me that he demands his fathers attention and because her husband doesn’t see the son too often as he lives with his mother he feels feels obliged to give him his undivided attention when he does see him. I asked how often does her husband see his son and she replied with ‘every second weekend’.

She said that she has no doubt that her hubby loves their two daughters but wishes he put as much effort into them as he does his 19 year old son. She said that when the son is around the daughters are often not included with the father and sons activities.

Quite sad really. I think that as the girls grow up they will see this behaviour and perhaps resent both the father and his son?

I asked her how it affects her marriage and she replied with ‘it’s great when the son isn’t around’. I guess I wasn’t surprised as there are many similar situations like this.

Which makes me wonder, do you have to like your step children?

This woman certainly gave me the impression that she doesn’t like her step son at all. She said a few other things which shocked me and I think that if I was in her position I wouldn’t like the husbands son either.

She says she tolerates her husbands son for his sake but cringes each time the son is over, as it generally means that she and her husband argue over his parenting style with the son and the lack of involvement he has with their daughters. She feels that her husband favours the son and has a sense of guilt which is why he allows the son to behave in such a disrespectful and arrogant manner.

I felt sorry for her, what a difficult situation.

I guess that her story is not the only one like this out there, there are so many split families around, however I guess it’s how you treat the situation as to how your next relationship / family will unfold.

She said it’s always been the same for the 13 years that they have been together but has gotten worse since they had their girls and she sometimes questions why she puts up with it.

I didn’t ask her but I am wondering ‘Do you think the father feels guilty that he has moved on and is happy with someone other than the sons mother which is why he feels obliged to put the son first and almost neglects his new family of wife and 2 girls when the son is around?’.

Incidental exercise

Incidental exercise

Sorry I have written about exercise or fitness for a little while. Feeling sluggish has made me lazy. No excuse though I know 🙂

I’ve been suffering sinus and also a slight head cold – double whammy unfortunately. Feeling a little better now though.

It’s been raining a lot so being stuck inside I’ve been cooking and keeping warm. Oh and eating!

I don’t often struggle to exercise or be active but when I feel under the weather I’m not always so motivated….

How do you keep active when your feeling unwell?

I try ‘incidental’ exercise. Keeping active when not feeling great often exerts you even more and naked you feel worse right?

Sometimes a good sweat can make you feel better though?

How do you know how far to push yourself when not feeling well?

Try core exercise.

1. Holding your tummy in whilst doing general home chores or even whilst walking to collect the mail. My driveway is 75m long so is a couple minutes walk.

2. Squeezing your bottom cheeks in and holding for 10 seconds then Releasing and repeating 10 times. You can do this whilst watching your favourite shows

3. Standing on your tippy toes raising your calves then going back down on your flat feet – again repeating 10 times after holding for a few seconds on each raise.

4. Whilst sitting on the lounge, keep your legs out straight, point and flex your toes and hold each movement for 5 seconds. Although this doesn’t seem to strenuous simply stretching your muscles gives you an incidental workout.

5. Planking – I know – how?
Lay on the floor on your tummy, arms beside you and legs straight. Slightly raise your legs and shoulders – without bending your knees or straining your neck. Create a slight banana in the curve of your back. Again holding each position for 10 seconds – repeat 10 times.