Tag Archives: 3

My little big boy.

My sweet boy will be turning 4 in approx 6 weeks.

Where has the time gone?

It breaks my heart to think he is ‘growing up’. He is my first born and my only boy. (I only have 2 children my baby is a girl)

I’m so proud that he is growing up but and feel torn that I’m loosing my ‘baby boy’.

I’m excited for all his adventures ahead and enjoy watching him, explore, learn and develop. It’s surreal how his personality is developing and how each week his language, thought process and maturity evolves.

This bought tears to my eyes. Happiness and sad. I call him my little big boy. He is growing ‘big’ but no matter how ‘big’ he gets, he will always be ‘my little boy’. ❤️

http://www.scarymommy.com/problem-4-year-olds/?utm_source=FB

Helping your child deal with frustrations.

Such a great read!

My little guy can become frustrated and angry, he is only 3, and as a result he ‘flips out’.

This is a result of many things.

– The fact that he cannot articulate his feelings at this stage. He doesn’t really know what he is feeling except happy or angry or sad. ‘Feelings’ are generally acknowledged around age 5/6.

– He cannot control his emotions properly. This is something that is generally learnt around 4/5 years old.

– He could be feeling overwhelmed.

– He may be overtired. I don’t always know if he is waking through the night. A disruptive sleep can make anyone short tempered.

– Hunger. He could be having a ‘growth spurt’ and may very well be hungry. Or he could be too busy playing or doing something that he doesn’t eat enough. We can only monitor so much so if he isn’t eating properly he may not be able to deal with various situations. I know I’m I’m hungry. I can get angry and not even realise!

A great tip that I’ve learnt from this article to help children deal with anger and frustration is creating a ‘Mad List’. I’ve copied the paragraph from this article explaining ‘Mad List’. Very easy to do and I think, would be useful.

Mad list – When my son was younger, a mad list was the secret to helping him vent his frustration. Young children need to vent (just like adults), but they don’t yet know how to do that. Screaming and flailing feels good in the moment, so they go with what works.

Ask your child to name all of the things that make him mad. Write down his list on a piece of paper while he vents his emotions. Provide empathy and understanding while you do this. Kids need to feel understood, and a simple, “Ooh, that makes me mad, too!” shows that you get it. Once the list is complete, ask your child to tear it into tiny pieces (this provides a much needed physical release of emotion) and throw them in the air. Then collect the pieces together and throw them out for good.

Go on. Do yourself a favour, click on this link and have a read.
You may already use these strategies.
You may have already heard of them.
If you haven’t, perhaps try them?
If you already use them, how have they worked for you?

Id love to hear your experiences and thoughts on these.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/02/teach-frustration-tolerance-kids/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pbsparents&utm_campaign=parents_expert

Split families

Split Families.

I visited a friend recently who is in a similar position to myself. She had married a man who has children to his previous wife. 4 in fact.

Being that school holidays had just finished and a few more were just around the corner we were chatting about school holidays and how do they split them and also if she includes his children in in all their holidays.

Her response was very truthful and I agree.

She said they do split them but as her husband works full time and long hours, when his children are with them for the holidays he arranged for them to stay with his parents – the Childrens grandparents, half the time so that she doesn’t have to change her plans or do the running around after them. After all she said – quote – ‘they are not my children and they require a lot of work and it’s also important for them to see and spend time with their grandparents’.

I understand that this may offend some people but I think it’s a smart move. She has a 3 year old with her husband and is pregnant with their second child. She said their 3 year old is her main responsibility and that the other children are also old enough to be self sufficient.

Their ages are varied between 13 to 17. I agree that they are old enough to be self sufficient.

I also know that a toddler is busy and does require a lot of attention.

So when she said that her husband also believes that they should be doing things including ‘alone’ holidays with just them 2 (adults/parents/her and him/hubby and wife) and their child I was intrigued as I know my husband thinks that step children should be included in everything.

I asked why he says they need to do things with ‘just them’ and her response was ‘although he loves all his children it’s important for us to do things alone as our family, we do separate holidays with his children but he understands the importance of us having our time together. Me him and our son’.

I was impressed that her husband understands this as most split families are not as open minded and some have a sense of ‘guilt’ so therefore go over and beyond to try and make the step children or children to previous relationships feel super important and in most cases they get all the attention and are not self sufficient as they are mollycoddled. Or felt sorry for. (See previous post on step children which I write after meeting a family in fiji)

I get each family is different and everyone has different needs.

I also understand children to previous relationships still need to be included in some things but do they need to be included in everything?

Do you see importance of doing things as a family and not always having to include step children or children from previous relationships?

I think in most cases it will help the husband and wife’s relationship as my friend was saying that the 2 younger step children are quite jealous of the 3 year old and if her husband is playing with the 3 year old, the others interrupt and ask the father to do things that they know they 3 year old can do, that way the 3 year old is excluded.

What are your thoughts on this?

Do you think children to previous relationships should always be included in everything?

Should they get special treatment as the parents are no longer together?

Should there still be holidays for the new partner and their children?

Is it important to have separate holidays?

I’d love to hear from you – email me, noordinarymummy@gmail.com

 

Broken friendships.

Broken friendships.

It’s interesting the friendships we make along the years. Some that last, some that pass but what I guess still integers me as why some last longer than others and what makes those that don’t last fade?

I’m the first one to admit I don’t have thousands of friends. I don’t need them. I have a few amazing friends whom I know I can count on at anytime and they would be there for me.

What breaks my heart though are those lost friendships that are non recoverable.

I have had a few of these also.

In most cases my friendships generally end as people we grow apart however sometimes things happen that change a friendship forever and it’s unrepairable.

For instance, I’ve had friends not like my husband for whatever reason so they choose to cut me out of their lives. I’ve had friends marry partners themselves who are controlling and limit their time with their friends. Or they don’t allow their partners to spend time with their own friends insisting that the husbands friends are their ‘couple’ friends so that’s whom they should be spending time with.

I had a wonderful friend whom I met through an old boyfriend. She was dating my then boyfriends best friend. We automatically got along and even after my relationship with that boyfriend ended we staied friends. She was with her boyfriend for a lot longer than I was with mine. I think my relationship ended after 2 years and gets about 4 years however through the whole time we kept our friendship separate.

We had the type of friendship that if she had an argument with her boyfriend and was upset at 2am she would call me and I would go to her home and comfort her or she would come to mine.

We often had ‘OC nights’ – for the young readers, OC is ‘orange county’ which is a TV show that used to be in Tuesday nights. We would cook a yummy dinner and have desert and wine and make it a girls night in. It was fun. We did it for possibly 3-4 years or even longer! We would giggle and laugh and feel that we could relate to these TV characters. There were about 5 of us girls that would do this.

Even after my friend broke up with her boyfriend we kept our friendship. She had a pretty tough break up as they were living together however I always made sure I was there for her.

We had a few other boyfriends inbetween but nothing serious. We would go out and party, dance and have fun. Gosh we were 25 year old single fun loving females.

Her boyfriend still lingered though as they had such a string love and respect for each other. I was always supportive even when she started dating a new guy. Sometimes it’s best to say nothing and give no advice as it may very we back fire. So for a few months she was double dating so to speak.

I knew they new boyfriend wasn’t much of a fan of mine. He thought I was a bad influence on her as I was care free, independant and very strong minded. I think our friendship started to change there. We started to spend less time together as she was spending more time with the new boyfriend.

I started to see my now husband about 6 months after she started dating her now husband.

Although mine and my husbands relationship was a bit stop start in the beginning she was almost always supportive. Until at her wedding which we attending something changed. My hubby and I had a fight and he broke up with me. I was so upset as it was my friends ‘big day’ however I held it together and went to the bathroom then left to go back to our hotel as it was a destination wedding. From then on she didn’t like my now hubby. Possibly understandable but I have since heard and she once told me that my behaviour that day ruined her wedding. Now I never made a scene nor did I cry in public but apparently I ruined her wedding day.

So after my hubby (was only boyfriend at the time) and I broke up and came back to Sydney we tried to work on our relationship – he had been married before and his break up was messy and difficult. I understand being at another wedding would have been tough even though his marriage has ended 5 years earlier. We ended up working through it only to break up a month later.

My friend was fuming and demanded I go stay with her and her hubby until I found my own place which I was grateful for so I staied with her for a week.

A few months passed and my ex (now hubby) was wanting me back. At this time I was dating a younger guy whom my friend also didn’t approve of. I felt at this point I couldn’t do anything good in her eyes. It was at my 30th where the younger new boyfriend attended that I realised she and I wouldn’t be close again.

After that relationship ended and my ex and I had worked things through – or were trying a fresh start. Ex (now hubby) and I went to Paris. When my friend heard about the trip she called me and says that she refuses to be there for me ever again and when the pieces break again she won’t pick them up. She made it very clear that she didn’t like my now hubby and cannot say she is happy for me. I was really upset but guess I had to understand.

Even though I’d supported her through her multiple break ups and fights with her previous boyfriend is also been on the end of the phone at 2, 3 whatever am consoling her and being a supportive friend. I kind of sensed that she now thought as she was married she didn’t need me or my friendship as she had his friends and I guess this was her easy way out?

I was quite heart broken.

A few years passed and I’d heard that her mum was unwell then passed away and I took the day off work to attend the funeral. When her first child was born I sent a shall gift. Each year on her mothers birthday and anniversary I send a nice message of thoughts letting her know I’m always here and understand how tough it would be for her going through such life changing times without her mum. I always received messages back from her saying thank you and that she will always love me and appreciate my thoughts and that when she gets time it would be nice to catch up. I still have all these text messages and facebook messages.

So recently I invited her to my little boys 2nd birthday. We have many mutual friend and I see these friends possibly monthly if not more often as we all have children around the same age. I’d chatted to a mutual friend asking if she tonight it would be a nice idea and she thought perhaps it would. After all this time and all the ‘olive branches’ I’ve put out there thought maybe this could bring our friendship back, however I got a bit of a slap in the face. The text response was simply ‘that’s kind but we can’t make it’ I was upset again then realised. Why am I constantly allowing this so called friend to disappoint me?

She clearly doesn’t want my friendship anymore.

For many reasons friendships end and it’s sad but I think a true friend –
Will never judge.
Will never listen to others put their friend down.
Will stand by their friend and support them through anything.
Will make time for their friends.

Tell me your broken friendship stories.

Noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Burpee’s – The exercise.

Burpee’s….? (The exercise)

I’ve been doing some research on different exercises and how they can benefit and it hinder our bodies. Let’s face it, some exercises can be quite ‘jolting’ or ‘harsh’ or ‘demanding’ on our different body parts which can cause injury. Now before you stop reading or decide – ‘yep, exercise causes injury, there’s no reason for me to hurt myself’ each exercise when preformed correctly can actually benefit and do your body justice.

I’ve just read an article on Burpee’s. Yep the age old Burpee!

Now knowing my background as a personal trainer, I don’t remember having my client do many if these. I think although they have been used and performed for centuries, I personally believe that the new ‘Cross Fit’ training has inspired trainer all over the world, to bring back the Burpee!

It makes sense to me and whilst I’m sitting in the couch waiting for my toddler to wake from his midday sleep writing this blog, my hubby asked ‘why are you writing about something you don’t actually do?’ Hmmmm well hubby just because I don’t do them right now, doesn’t mean others don’t.  In fact now I’m feeling a little inspired to do some, perhaps tomorrow 🙂
Burpees 101: What They Are & Benefits!

This six-count bodyweight movement is used across the country in workouts by coaches, fitness fans, and trainers alike as an all-around conditioning exercise that gets the heart rate up. A burpee is a squat that moves into a quickly into a plank position, then back up to standing in one quick movement.

“A burpee is somewhat equal to a push up, good morning, air squat, and a vertical jump all in one”.

If done correctly, the exercise will train the pushing muscles of the upper body, all the muscles of the lower body, and the core muscles. Giving you – a complete all over body workout.

Breaking It Down

1. Start by standing up straight. Bend over at the hips, pushing the hips slightly back and reaching down to touch the floor with your hands while keeping both your feet on the floor (your can bend your knees slightly, but you want to make sure you’re using your hamstrings for the strength).

2. From there, quickly jump back with your feet into a push-up / plank position.

3. Your chest should only then slightly touch the floor. You don’t necessarily need to do a true push-up but don’t slump onto the floor, using your core and stomach muscles to stabilise your body weight.

4. Return into the plank position by pushing up with your hands (again keeping your core tight).

5. Push back up by using the power from your hips and bottom to bring your feet in toward your hands. Try to land on the whole foot as to stop any rolling of the ankle.

6. Explosively again jump upward, most people add a clap or throw their hands up into the air for the extra ‘oomph’.

To practice getting the hips fired up for a Burpee, it’s best to practice the burpee with your feet together and then play around with your foot position. Just keep in mind that if your feet go further out than your shoulders, it will be harder to use your hips and bottom muscles when jumping back up.

Burpee Benefits

There are a lot of benefits that come from doing burpees, the most obvious of which is being able to get up quickly after a fall.

A Burpee is a movement that develops strength, endurance, explosiveness, and coordination because there’s so much going on.

Most fitness professionals or athlete’s say that you can reap many benefits from doing burpees no matter your form, it’s also reiterated that there are no specific rules on how to get from standing to the floor and back up again, however there are ways to make the whole process a whole lot more efficient.

By doing your burpees properly you will not fatigue as fast and will be able to keep going performing these exercises longer.

In a high rep burpee workout—think more about good form. When you’re working for speed, think less is more, move faster. A Burpee is great for cardiovascular workout also!

Try doing 3 sets of 10 Burpee’s 3 times a week and build from there!

Love them? Or hate them? Tell me what you think of burpees or have you got a favourite exercise?

Mia Freedman

26 beauty truths only mothers understand. (Or aunts)

I just read the best article from an extremely funny journalist. Mia Freedman. Mia is the brains and braun behind ‘MamaMia’ blog, website and much more.

I only have a toddler who happens to be a boy however  my sister has 3 beautiful children whom I am extremely close with so these ring true from them. My sisters kids are now 13, 11 and 8 with the 2 eldest being girls. ‘Tweens’ and ‘teenagers’ are always experimenting finding their own style and comfort zone with both clothes and make up.

I myself only wear make up on special occasions which is basically only ever mascara, eye liner and lippy and perhaps 3 time per year but this story made me smirk with happiness and automatically filled me with find memories.

 

Please read Mia’s story below.

Once the baby’s out, your beauty routine will never go back to the way it was.

Don’t like sharing your lipstick? Too late.

Your body is not the only thing that changes after you have a baby. Your beauty routine does too, because you’re never alone in your bathroom and you have no time.

Remember the days of luxuriating in the bath or cranking up the music while you spend a satisfying 25 minutes trying to perfect a make-up trick you saw in a magazine?

BAHAHAHAHAHHAAA.

How times change. Here are the beauty truths only mothers can understand.

1. Your bikini line is now something for public commentary. “My mummy has a hairy front bum” is something every child will announce, usually in a supermarket queue.

2. Having to answer these and 100 other questions while putting on makeup or doing your hair: “What actually happens when you die? What rocks are made of? Where do farts go when you can’t smell them anymore?”

3. Eye makeup remover is the best way to remove lipstick from all over your child’s face. Also from the carpet and the dog.

4. Red lipstick and black eyeliner are the best way to create realistic looking scars and wounds. Particularly useful at Halloween.

5. You no longer associate the word ‘bath’ with relaxation or peace. Instead, you associate it with 37 bath toys and an inevitable tantrum when it’s time to wash hair.

6. Doing your makeup takes twice as long because your children want to play with all the brushes / EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

7. Eyeshadow is a bitch to get out of tiles when someone drops it on the floor and it smashes into a thousand powdery pieces.

8. You will be judged when you take your 2-year-old to the nail salon, even though you just really needed to get a pedicure and that’s what iPads were invented for.

9. You will always have chipped nail polish and chipped nails. Always.

10. You embrace ‘natural’ makeup because you actually have no time for the routine you once had and who actually cares what you look like today?

11. You will be asked “what’s that on your face, mummy?” as curious fingers are pointed at your pimples, moles and freckles.

12. Your GHD is covered in inches of dust, and you can’t remember the last time you switched it on.

13. Cleansing your face with anything other than a facial wipe? Not going to happen.

14. You have to keep your makeup hidden at all times, because lipsticks, even really, really expensive ones, are crayons.

15. You become an expert at putting makeup on without a mirror in two minutes flat because LITTLE CHILDREN. (This explains a lot about how I look before my first office bathroom visit of the day).

16. You can’t blow-dry your hair properly because either a) your child hates the sound of the hairdryer and will wail the whole time it’s running or b) loves the sound of the hairdryer and just keeps insisting you turn it on them in a HILARIOUS game.

17. “Grooming” now means shaving your legs once a month. In winter, it’s once every three months.

18. Shapewear. Shapewear. Shapewear.

19. “Doing your hair” now means just spraying it with dry shampoo.

20. Conversations like this when you’re putting on makeup:

“But Mama WHY are you painting your face?”

“Because it makes me feel good.

“Why does it make you feel good?”

“Er… because it makes me feel nicer.”

“But why? it looks sticky. Can I put it on?”

“No, little boys don’t really wear makeup…”

“But why? I want to look like a vampire too.”

(oh.)

21. Finding your makeup brushes being used as paint brushes. And the paint is… (oh no) your eye shadow. And the canvas is (oh no)… the wall.

22. Explaining to your three year old that she is too pretty for makeup… and then putting in on yourself.

23. Answering the urgent question every single day: “No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet… No, your hair isn’t as long as Elsa’s yet. No, your hair isn’t a long as Elsa’s yet…”

24. Acting nonchalant when your daughter tells you that she has put “nappies” on her “babies” – the nappies being an entire packet of pads!

25. When your daughter becomes a teenager, you must start hiding every beauty product you own because she nicks them. All. The. Time.

26. On the flipside, you get to start nicking hers when she starts buying cool stuff.

You can read Mia’s other stories at:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/author/mia/

http://www.mamamia.com.au

http://www.theglow.com.au/beauty/beauty-for-mothers-truths/?mm

Chicken n Veg Sausage Rolls!

Easy chicken n veg sausage rolls

Ingredients
1 cup wholemeal breadcrumbs
500g mince (chicken or beef)
2 eggs – 1 for mixture plus 1 lightly beaten for brushing on pastry
1 zucchini, finely grated
1 carrot, finely grated
1/2 onion, grated (optional)
4 sheets frozen puff pastry, just thawed

Tomato or sweet chilli or sauce, to serve
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 200°C and line 2 baking sheets with baking paper.

Step 2
Put all filling ingredients into a large bowl (not including pastry and second egg). Combine well.

Step 3
Place 1 pastry sheet on a floured surface and fold in half. Spoon approx 3 tablespoons of mixture lengthways along the end of the pastry.
Roll along until your pastry looks like a log.
Repeat with remaining pastry sheets.
Cut rolls into desired lengths and make two small incisions into each roll to prevent splitting. This lets the inside heat out which causes the pastry to split otherwise.
Place on baking sheets, cover and chill for 30 minutes.
Brush with beaten egg.

Step 4
Bake for 25-30 minutes or until the rolls are lightly browned and cooked through. Serve with sauce on the side.

Best served warm but can also be eaten cold and will keep in the fridge for a week or freeze.

These can be varied depending on the flavours your family like.

I generally use beef mince and by grating the carrot and zucchini finely they are disguised and little ones don’t and can’t pick it out 🙂 extra unknown vege yippee! 🙂

Incidental exercise

Incidental exercise

Sorry I have written about exercise or fitness for a little while. Feeling sluggish has made me lazy. No excuse though I know 🙂

I’ve been suffering sinus and also a slight head cold – double whammy unfortunately. Feeling a little better now though.

It’s been raining a lot so being stuck inside I’ve been cooking and keeping warm. Oh and eating!

I don’t often struggle to exercise or be active but when I feel under the weather I’m not always so motivated….

How do you keep active when your feeling unwell?

I try ‘incidental’ exercise. Keeping active when not feeling great often exerts you even more and naked you feel worse right?

Sometimes a good sweat can make you feel better though?

How do you know how far to push yourself when not feeling well?

Try core exercise.

1. Holding your tummy in whilst doing general home chores or even whilst walking to collect the mail. My driveway is 75m long so is a couple minutes walk.

2. Squeezing your bottom cheeks in and holding for 10 seconds then Releasing and repeating 10 times. You can do this whilst watching your favourite shows

3. Standing on your tippy toes raising your calves then going back down on your flat feet – again repeating 10 times after holding for a few seconds on each raise.

4. Whilst sitting on the lounge, keep your legs out straight, point and flex your toes and hold each movement for 5 seconds. Although this doesn’t seem to strenuous simply stretching your muscles gives you an incidental workout.

5. Planking – I know – how?
Lay on the floor on your tummy, arms beside you and legs straight. Slightly raise your legs and shoulders – without bending your knees or straining your neck. Create a slight banana in the curve of your back. Again holding each position for 10 seconds – repeat 10 times.