I’m at a stage now where I find that I don’t have too many ‘friends’. I guess with age, I have grown out of needing lots of friends and just wanting a few.
Those whom I know I can call upon at any time, and those whom I can confide in and it’s just ‘easy’. I dont need explain myself, I don’t need a reason to call, it’s just an easy relationship where I can be me without judgment. Trustworthy and honest.
I turned 40 earlier this year (amongst covid) and I remember thinking about who I will invite to my 40th birthday celebrations. I only had about 5 close female friends and their partners. Why I hear you wondering. Well because I have outgrown so many of my old friendships.
Friends that are needy. Friends that judge me. Friends that i always had to visit because my house seemed too far for them to travel. Friends that would gossip behind my back. Friends that refuse to introduce you to their new partner (for whatever reason) and simply friends that I no longer feel are important to me. Different values and we have grown apart.
In the years past I have invested so much into forming friendships and I tried so hard to keep them. What I have since realised, is that friendships should not be hard work, they should be easy and seamless.
In the past couple weeks I have found out that two of my closest friends are leaving. One I met by chance almost 5 years ago and even though I’m 10 years older. We ‘clicked’. We have kids the same age. We share similar interests. Our kids go to the same school and it’s just easy. She doesn’t judge. She isn’t competitive with our children’s academics and she is genuinely happy and proud of my children when they accomplish things. As am I of her children. We are I suppose, surrogate aunts to each other’s children.
The other friend whom is leaving I only met this year, however I feel as though we have known each other all our lives. Our daughters started kindergarten together this year and although my daughter is my second child to attend school, she is my baby and last child. (I only have 2)
Upon school drop off the first day of kindergarten I cried. My daughter was fine but I was an emotional mess. I struggled to comprehend that I was now going to be alone. I have been a stay at home mum since my son was born and he is now 8. It’s been a huge adjustment for me but I enjoy being a mum and I have given up my career to be a mum and I do not for one bit regret it. My husband is in a very senior position and has an extremely successful carer, so I chose to be the home duties parent. Back to school story, anyway as I walked out from my daughters classroom I was wiping the tears from my eyes and holding back the blubbering when this beautiful mummy approached me to check if i was ok? She comforted me and since that day we clicked.
I then saw her at pick up each day at school and we would chat. We swapped numbers and met up for coffee and had play dates with the children. Again we have children similar ages and our daughters have actually become best friends and we are close. I value her and think it’s rare to come across people that are so selfless and special.
This morning as I was organising the farewell luncheon for one of the Mums it hit me. My eyes welled up and tears dripped down my face. Im loosing two of the most loviest mum friends I could have found. Who would have thought that in my 40’s I’d be faced with finding new friends?
I believe that the universe has a wonderful but weird way of showing you what people mean to you. I will miss both these women immensely. They have become a huge part of not only mine, but my children’s lives. They will never be replaced and we will forever have holes in our hearts where they have left us. (Only by distance) but what I do know is, that there will be plenty of phone calls, FaceTime chats and weekend getaways to visit each other.
So my advice for you all reading this, hold those important to you close and with two hands.
As the old saying goes ‘True friends are like diamonds precious and rare; fake friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere.’
You know who you are. 💗💗
2014: 2nd wife? (0 Comments)