It’s ok.

It’s ok.

These are uncertain times.

People are stressed and suffering anxiety more than ever before.

These circumstances are something that the majority of us have never experienced before and possibly won’t experience again.

And it’s ok.

It’s ok to feel alone.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed.

It’s ok to be anxious.

It’s ok to be fearful.

It’s ok sad.

It’s ok to cry.

It’s ok to not know.

It’s ok to feel confused.

It’s ok to feel misunderstood.

It’s ok to not feel your ‘normal’ self.

But what we must not do, is allow it to overcome us.

I know it seems easy for me to say as I sit here typing on my couch, but we can’t allow it to overcome us. We are stronger than this. Have your bad days, weeks, time. You are also grieving a loss. 

A loss of normality, a loss of seeing those whom you love, who you would normally spend your time with. The smile from other parents, children or teachers at school drop off or pick up, the smile from the stranger in the supermarket. A smile is contagious and if your not receiving them, you may start to feel sadness.

Communication is now more important than ever. Call, write, email, FaceTime. Stay connected to those whom you can’t give a hug too. Contact the ones who cheer you up. The ones whom are normally the happy bubbly person. They may be able to help you see the light on this dim situation. Or they may need cheering up themselves.

It’s times like these that push us to limits. 

Push us to what feels like breaking point.

Push us into uncharted territory where we haven’t been before.

These times will have us question almost everything in our lives.

Are we actually happy?

Do we really enjoy what we are doing with our lives?

Is this the life I actually want to live?

Is this really the person whom I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Reflect on yourself, good or bad.

Being in isolation can make or break you.

It can show you sides of others that you may not want to see. You may see greed, anger, nastiness, love, care, understanding, arrogance, selfishness. It’s uncertainty that feeds on anxiety and emotion. 

People whom you once saw in a particular way, may not actually be that person. Statistics have shown that domestic violence has tripled in China over this pandemic. Domestic violence could be emotional or physical. Someone hitting you, pushing you or even a shove, be it slightly forceful or violently or even yelling at you in a derogatory way or calling you names, saying you are negative, intolerable, unbearable to be around is abuse. This is domestic violence and neither are acceptable or should be tolerated.

People fear the unknown and for the majority, the unknown creates anxiety. Anxiety can have us behaving in ways that we normally would not. 

In these uncertain times more than ever, take time for you. It may seem far fetched, unattainable or unreasonable because others are relying on you (children and family) however if you are not coping, how can you help others? It may seem selfish and that the responsibility is falling on you which is another stress, but you need to look after yourself, first and foremost. 

Even taking a warm bath alone may help. Do some stretching, sit with your eyes closed on the floor with your legs crossed and focus for 5 minutes on your breathing. Slow breaths in then slowly breath out. Even lay flat, with your eyes closed. Taking time away from normality, even for a short time will help your own mental health.

You may feel like you have no time alone, or selfish for having time alone. However, we as people are not meant to be constantly in the company of others. We need to recharge ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with doing so. 

You may find that things that used to make you feel happy no longer do. Change is confronting and can also be confusing.

Find comfort in things that make you happy. 

Not everyone will support you. Not everyone will understand you. Sometimes you just need empathy, compassion and comfort in your feelings. Not being put down and made to feel worse about the situation. Support those who are not coping. Don’t make them feel worse about their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings and help them to feel better. Sometimes it’s better to keep your own personal options to yourself. Try to support those who are not finding this difficult situation easy. Those whom appear to be the strongest in dealing with stressful times may actually be the ones needing to be supported the most in these unusual situations.

We will all come out of this. But being told that may not be the most appropriate thing to say to someone struggling at the moment. Being kind, empathetic and compassionate are nicer qualities. Being supportive may mean being quiet and just saying nothing. Listen to how others are feeling. By saying your feelings aloud is venting and that in itself is a release of fear and anxiety. Being able to admit and speak about how your feelings will help you overcome them.

Don’t let fear overcome you. 

Please remember to be kind.

Change can be good. 

It’s ok to have all kinds of feelings.

Just feel them. 💗

Self isolation.

What does self isolation mean to you?

What have you learnt?

What have you been doing?

How do you think it’s changed you?

Are you missing or craving routine?

Do you miss your social life?

I know that when we all come out of this challenging time, we will all more more grateful and hopefully more understanding of each other. 

I was a very social person prior to self isolating. I will admit, it has been tough. I miss seeing my friends. I miss the things that we would once consider mundane. The school picks ups, the afternoon activities, the bumping into people whom we know at the supermarket. I miss the little things. 

I miss giving my family and friends a hug when they are feeling down. I miss seeing the smiles on my children’s faces when they see their friends of a morning at school drop off. 

I am constantly reading all these posts about keeping busy and what we ‘should’ be doing with our time. What I’m finding though, is that what we ‘should’ be doing, is actually connecting and staying connected to those people who are closest to us. 

This is new for the majority of us. We are not used to being at home 24/7. Confined if you like, to our own homes. Not being able to pop out for brunch, or going to work meetings. The lack of social interaction can be tough for most of us. 

What we need to appreciate though is having this time with our children and partners. Being forced to spend time with those whom we normally wouldn’t get much time with. My two children are in primary school for approximately 6 hours a day. My husband leaves for work early each morning for his commute followed by a working day of about 9-10hrs then another hour long commute home. This does not leave a lot of free time for us as a family.

Having my immediate family all under the one ‘roof’ again for an extended period is a blessing. Being able to bond and reconnect again in a time that would normally be super busy. Each rushing off to our own commitments. What we must not take for granted is that for those of us with children, our children are only little once. They may be a handful at the moment, demanding your time, affection and attention, but give it whilst you can. One day in the future, they may not need you as much, they may disregard the small things like a kiss upon their forehead at bedtime. They may become too ‘cool’ for that hug at school drop off. You may become embarrassing to them. 

I know that most parents are still working remotely through this self isolation. But please don’t be too hard on either yourself or your family. 

We are all in this together. And we will all be ok when we come out of this. 

Times like these seem to be going on for forever, but in the scheme of things, this time will past soon enough abc we will look back on it with wonder. 

Take each day as it comes and be grateful for all that you have, and not all that you wish you had. 💗