The 3rd child?

So on the weekend my husband bought up the ‘3rd’ child question….

We currently have a 3yo boy and a 17mo girl. I feel complete, and extremely blessed. One of each is perfect for me. I have enough time with each and was questioning how would I manage another? We are in a great routine, they play so well together, they both sleep through the night, they adore each other, why ‘rock the boat’ so to speak.

Well firstly I was extremely shocked that my hubby bought this subject up, as he was the one that never wanted children. I basically gave him the ultimatum. He knew that when he proposed he was definitely having babies with me. He still proposed so he must not have worried too much about this.

Once we had our little man he then again said, no more babies I want my wife back and one is plenty, well again we had a chat and yes, we now also have a daughter. We have 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart, fun, happy and healthy little people. I feel completely besotted by them and am happy with the 2 children so you can imagine the shock when hubby bought up a third.

He was away last week for business and clearly missed us. His conversation Saturday went something like this.
‘Babe, do you ever get a pang for another baby?’

Well I nearly fell off my chair and replied, ‘yes I do, but I thought we agreed that the 2 that we have are perfect?’.

Hubby’s response, ‘after being away the past week I really missed you, little man and princess, I was thinking about having a third with you, would you consider it? Would you put your body through it again?’ (FYI, I get really bad morning/ all day sickness, with complicated pregnancy and difficult to actually fall pregnant)

My response, ‘I would put my body through it, absolutely, but we have 2 amazing little ones, do we really want a third?’

Hubby, ‘Hmmm I know, I just think how great a mum you are, how much our kids adore you and how beautiful our kids are, gives me pangs’.

Me, ‘Hmmm’.

So this was never a position I thought I’d be in. I’m pretty sure I’m completely happy with 2, I am one of 3 and remember that one of my siblings was always left out. I feel like 2 always play together and 1 is on the outer? Not sure. I think I’d want 4 rather than 2.

I know I have enough love.

We will see…..

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-day-i-fell-in-love-with-having-two/?utm_source=FB

Are argument’s healthy?

I’ve always said that the occasional argument is healthy.

I think that perhaps it’s a way of venting to our significant other, yet it also allows us to work through differences, which in return help us to learn about each other.

We, as people evolve as we age and grow. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes people grow closer.

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/according-psychologists-couples-argue-love/

Quick an effective core workout.

Quick an effective core workout.

Exercising doesn’t have to be extensive. It doesn’t mean that you need to do hours of exercise in order to see results or feel good.

I believe that doing the right exercise for your needs or wants, in proper form will have you seeing good results in no time.

I literally train for 2.5hrs per week. (If I’m lucky, I don’t always get to all 3 classes but I try to do at least 1). I do a body balance class on a Monday. This class is only an hour, it consists of a mixture of Pilates, yoga and Thai Chi moves. I find it helps me to stretch, relax and ease my mind for the week ahead. It’s low impact but I see results. Wednesday and Saturday to do a 30 minute CXWorx class which is a core training class. This again is low impact using balance and minimal weight and a resistance band / tube doing movement’s that tighten and tone your core muscles and improves your functional strength.

So below I’ve put together a short workout that I believe will get you results. It’s not a long workout, but if you try and do it at least 3 times per week, you will get some sort of results. Not over night, but if your following a healthy eating plan and keeping hydrated and active, along with doing these exercises correctly. You will get results. Remember a healthy mind helps a healthy body.

These exercises do not require any equipment other than your own body weight. You can do them in the comfort and privacy of your home or outside in the garden. I personally love training out doors. I love the fresh air and serenity that being in a garden can provide. Calming and relaxing yet still a workout.

Try doing these exercises for 30 seconds each. Once you have completed a whole round, start again.

Try completing these exercise 3 times each. If you can only do a single round, that’s ok. You can build up to doing the 3 rounds. Start slow if your a beginner or have not exercised in a while, and whilst I’m no doctor, if you have any injury or health issues, please speak to your doctor prior to any exercise.

1st exercise
Plank.
Lay on your stomach face down.
Start by ensuring that your elbows are directly under your shoulders.
Your feet a little wider than hip width and if you can, raise up onto your toes keeping your stomach tightened. If you find yourself wobbling or dipping in the lower back, go down to your knees with toes resting on the floor.
It is important that you keep your back straight and level, don’t raise your hips and look directly ahead. If you look down at your feet you will cause strain in your neck.
If your feeling shakey or any pain in your lower back, it is best to perform this exercise on your knees. Remember though, you must keep your back level and core activated for this exercise to be effective. (An activated core us basically tightening your stomach muscles, holding them in).
2nd exercise
Leg Raises.
Laying on your back, bring your knees up to create a 90 degree angle between your legs and the floor.
Activate your core (brace / tighten your stomach muscles) imagine that there is a box pushed up against your hamstring’s (back of legs) and bottom and your calf muscles are resting on the top of it.
Keeping your toes pointed, slowly lower them down to tap the floor then slowly raise them back up keeping the knees at 90 degrees at all times.
This movement comes from the hips only and should take you 2 seconds to get your toes to touch the floor then, 2 seconds to raise them again.
Keeping your tummy braced will help support your lower back, you can tuck your fingers under the small of your lower back (think kidney region) but don’t allow it to arch or lift your back off the ground. By tightening the stomach muscles you will have more control with this movement.
3rd exercise
Squats.
Standing with your feet a little wider than hip width, keep your toes facing forward brace your tummy and keeping your back straight, imagine there is a chair behind you and your going to sit on it.
Lower your bottom as if your tail bone is going to touch the chair, but instead of sitting using your leg and bottom muscles to stand back up.
If your loosing your balance you can keep your hands and arms out straight in front of you, or rest them on your hips.
This is more effective if your driving your strength from your heels (in your feet).
4th exercise
Single leg squat right side.
Standing with your feet again hip width apart, leaning slightly over from the hips so that your nose is over your toes. Back straight. Looking forward.
Take your left leg back and straighten it, point your toe. Keep your right knee slightly bent and using your right leg to squat down and up. Taking 2 seconds to go down and 2 seconds to raise up.
Try to keep the left leg slightly off the floor and remember, this is not a deep lunge or swat, you only need to bend to lower approx 30cms.
As with the above exercise keep your stomach tightened to activate your core.
If your loosing balance put your hands either on your hips or reach them out in front.
Try to ensure that your stable leg is not ‘wobbling’ if your knee is moving sideways, you can injure yourself, so please try to keep as stable as possible.
5th exercise
Single leg squat left side.
(as above but opposite side)
Standing with your feet hip width apart, leaning slightly over from the hips so that your nose is over your toes. Back straight. Again looking forward.
Take your right leg back and straighten it, point your toe, keep your left knee slightly bent for balance and using your left leg to squat down and up. Again only a slight movement of approx 40cm and again try to keep the straight leg off the floor.
Taking 2 seconds to go down and 2 seconds to raise up.
As with the above exercise keep your stomach tightened to activate your core.
If your loosing balance put your hands either on your hips or reach them out in front.
6th exercise
Star Jump Burpee.
This exercise will certainly get your heart rate up which is good for ‘cardio’.
Start by laying face down on the floor.
Then ‘jump’ up and into a star jump.
(Arms and legs wide). Keep a slight bend in your knees to avoid ‘jarring’ of the joints.
Remember to keep your tummy in, back straight and use your leg’s and bottom muscles to stabilise your movement.
7th exercise
Oblique Crunch – left side.
Start by laying on your back, then roll onto your left side. Have your left arm out at shoulder height but flat on the floor. This will help stabilise your body from rolling forward. Legs straight. Toes pointed.
Then using your oblique (side of tummy muscles) squeeze up to the roof by raising your top (right) knee and right elbow. Try to get the knee and elbow to touch. Imagine your creating a C shape with your spine with your knee and head the top and bottom of the C. You will feel a slight ‘pinch’ between your ribs and hips if this exercise is done correctly.
8th exercise
Oblique Crunch – right side.
(as above but opposite side)
Start by laying on your back, then roll onto your right side. Have your right arm out at shoulder height but flat on the floor. This will help stabilise your body from rolling forward. Legs straight. Toes pointed.
Then using your oblique (side of tummy muscles) squeeze up to the roof by raising your top (now left) knee and left elbow. Try to get the knee and elbow to touch.
You will feel a slight ‘pinch’ between your ribs and hips if this exercise is done correctly.
9th exercise
Lifting Plank – right side
Starting in your plank position as you do in exercise 1. Keeping your elbows under your shoulders and hands together.
Make sure your stomach is activated to support your lower back and your body still.
Slowly and gently, push your body up with your right hand keeping the hand under the shoulder and arm straight, them raise with the left hand. You are now in a push up position.
Hold for 2 seconds, then lower the body again by going back down onto your elbows, right side down first.
You can do this exercise either on your toes or your knees. If you find that your body seems to be rolling, adjust and lower to your knees. You will still get results, you just need to strengthen your core to hold your body and form correctly. You can build up to being on your toes.
10th exercise
Lifting Plank – left side
(as above but opposite side)
Starting in your plank position as you do in exercise 1. Keeping your elbows under your shoulders and hands together.
Make sure your stomach is activated to support your lower back and your body still.
Slowly and gently, push your body up with your left hand, keeping the hand under the shoulder and arm straight, them raise with the right hand.
You are now in a push up position.
Hold for 2 seconds, then lower the body again by going back down onto your elbows left side down first.
11th exercise
Oblique side taps.
Laying on your back with knees bent and toes tucked up towards your bottom.
Keep your hands along aside your body.
Slightly raise the top of your body, basically from your chest to the top of your head. Approx 15cm off the floor.
Then with your fingers, move sideways towards your toes gently taping your ankle. Creating a slight C shape in your spine.
Alternate from left to right with your stomach muscles tightened to help support your lower back.

Whilst performing any of the above exercises, remember to breathe. By breathing your oxygenating your blood, which keeps it pumping throughout your body. Oxygen energises!

Enjoy! Remember exercise should be fun.

I’d love to hear or see your results.

Intimidation

Intimidation

I dont get intimidated. I’m a pretty strong minded and strong personality that I don’t allow negativity to get to me, nor do I allow ‘idiots’ to create negative in my life.

Yes I’ve had my fair share of idiots creating issues, I just don’t allow it to affect me. It’s been hard, but I have learnt. Especially since writing my blog. People will seldom give compliments, instead they feel it’s their right to be negative and point out faults in either my stories, words, experiences or Grammer. But that’s their issue. Yes it used to make me self doubt, but I’ve grown to ignore most negatives. It’s simply not worthwhile.

Of late I’ve been reading lots of blogs about bullying. I don’t agree with it and I actually condone it. It’s the lowest form of gaining attention.

My theory is that those who bully have their own issue’s and are ‘lashing’ out and taking it out on others to make themselves feel better. If they have nothing better do to with their time, other than to intimidate or be negative towards others, well that’s their issues and perhaps they need to get a hobby.

Bullying creates low self esteem in others and also self doubt. I guess that’s what the ‘bully’ is seeking? To make others feel insecure, bad about themselves and negative?

In most cases with bullying, these people are self entered and suffer low self esteem which is why they feel attacked and then react by attacking others caused by their own insecurities. These people have ‘issues’ which is why they bully others, to make themselves feel better about the person that they are.

But why?

Bullying is a huge problem world wide that can have huge repercussions. It is becoming more of an issue in schools, online, sporting groups and also behind closed doors.

There are many forms of bullying.

Cyber bullying
This is where the bully is ‘attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via the internet, social media, email or somehow ‘electronic’, carried out online or through mobile phones or computers.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them)
Accessing internet accounts without permission

Indirect bullying
This is where the bully is attacking’ or ‘contacting’ the victim via another source. Possibly another person or ‘indirectly’. They are not contacting the victim direct.

Direct bullying
This is where the bully is attacking you or contacting you directly. Either face to face, over the phone or ‘targeted’ directly at you.

Physical bullying
This involves hitting, shoving, pushing, tripping, and other kinds of unwanted force.

Verbal bullying
This involves hurtful comments, name-calling, teasing. Slander, using hurtful words and or phrases to ‘attack’, hurt or offend the victim.

Social bullying
This involves using relationships to hurt someone.

Bullying could include using SMS, email or social networking sites to harass or abuse someone.

It is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

There are ways to stop bullying.

Firstly report it.

You can report it to the police or to an organisation like I have. I have put contact links below for you.

Talk to someone about it.

You are not alone, there are reasons why these people are called ‘trolls’ it’s because they are not nice people who are generally unhappy within themselves and are pushing their own issues onto others.

A lot of bullying happens via social media, almost so that the bully can remain ‘face less’ or ‘hidden’. If you are bullying via social media, why? Are you too afraid to speak up in person? – I’m certainly not saying it’s ok to bully face to face but hiding behind a compute is a cowardly act.

Bullying altogether is a cowardly act.

Remember all bullying is a crime which you can be convicted for.

A criminal conviction that will have repercussions for the rest of your life. You may loose your job, you may loose access to your children, you may loose respect of your peers but most importantly you can go to jail for this.

It doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are. Bullying is not on and you will get caught and hopefully reprimanded.

There are too many incidences where this is not bought to the attention of others and sadly it can result in someone taking their own life.

Did you know that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube all ban cyber bullying?

If you have been bullied online or otherwise, have seen bullying online or otherwise or are worried that you may have bullied someone else online and you don’t know what to do next, you can get free, confidential legal advice from Lawmail.

So what is the definition of bullying?

Bullying is behaviour that is meant to be hurtful.
It targets a certain person or group of people.
It happens more than once; and
embarrasses, threatens or intimidates the person being bullied.

Is cyber bullying a crime?

Cyber bullying can be a crime under either South Australian or national law when it involves:

Cyber bullying is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them). Accessing internet accounts without permission.

Defamation (spreading lies to intentionally hurt someone’s reputation).

Encouraging suicide.

Menacing, harassing or offensive use of the internet or a mobile.

It is a crime to use a phone or the internet in threaten, harass or seriously offend somebody.

A message or post could be considered offensive if it is likely to cause serious anger, outrage, humiliation or disgust. The maximum penalty is 3 years in jail.

Let’s put a stop to bullying.
#StopBullying
#NoMoreBullies

http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/

http://m.cybersmart.gov.au

http://www.lawstuff.org.au/sa_law/topics/bullying/cyber-bullying

Tips on raising resilient boys to help them thrive. By Maggie Dent.

Tips on raising resilient boys to help them thrive.
By Maggie Dent.

Maggie Dent is an expert in helping Australian parents raise resilient, strong and loving men. Her passion for helping boys comes from alarming statistics, revealing they’re more likely to take greater physical risks, get injured in accidents and sport, and face bigger mental health risks as they grow into men.

When Maggie holds parenting lectures, the room is full of mostly women – mums wanting the best advice on parenting their sons.

Help boys feel secure.
Boys may be expected to be tougher than girls, but in reality, all children can feel berated and vulnerable in certain situations.

Tip: Give your boy small cues to remind them they’re loved. For example, a little tickle, wink or high-five.

Modify language.
Boys develop language skills a lot later than girls.This is because the right hemisphere of the brain develops more so than the left. When boys become frustrated, they can sometimes default to anger since they don’t have the words to express how they’re feeling.

Tip: Use hand gestures as well as speech to explain what you need or want them to do. Boys also respond to visual signs more than verbal, so avoid calling out to them from another room.

Build bridges of connection.
Building little love bridges, or moments of connection, makes boys feel like they matter. Boys need to see constant loving action as well as verbal affirmations of love.

When boys are naughty it can feel like they’re intentionally being disrespectful, rude or forgetful. Reframe that idea, and know that at times, they really can only focus on one thing, and that they’re not good with change. If we understand how our sons process information, and accept they are genuinely more forgetful than girls, more allowances can be made and frustration can be kept at bay.

Tip: Try to avoid enquiring about school immediately after the day has finished — they’re exhausted and need time. Allow them to come to you when they’re ready to talk, and create moments of loving connection that they can hold on to.

Curb physicality and roughness.
Men are biologically wired to be physical. They have a larger amygdala and more testosterone, so their type of play can be quite rough.
Tip: Keep it safe by setting simple guidelines: try avoid hurting yourself, others, and damaging things.

Expect testosterone surges.
Boys have testosterone surges around the ages of 4, 10 and 14. Be mindful that this can mean excess energy for them.

Tip: Keep boys physically active in large spaces outside the home. Also, set them exciting, challenging tasks that require concentration – they’ll be much calmer afterwards.

Six motherhood truths for those days when you want to quit.

Written by Rachel from Finding Joy.

Six motherhood truths for those days when you want to quit.

It’s overwhelming at times isn’t it?

Those days, those days longing to be a parent, they’re long gone and now, now you’ve found yourself here. In the midst of motherhood. At times feeling like you are drowning in things that once looked exciting, cute, and fun. Sure there are the fun moments, the moments that look like the Pampers commercial that you helped pay for with your years of purchasing diapers, but often, often motherhood, and motherhood in the midst, is a great deal of surviving through the day.

And sometimes we forget that those feelings of surviving are in fact moments of thriving.

Moments of discovering yourself, of getting stronger, and honestly, changing the world just a teeny bit day by day. So today, today I’m sharing with you six truths to remember on those days when you feel like throwing in the motherhood towel for a moment.

Here are six things you must remember during those motherhood days.

1. Throw the idea of failing out. (read Dear Mom Who Feels Like She is Failing)

So you had a bad day – that doesn’t mean you failed. It is a day. Or maybe a week. Or a season. But seriously, there is not all bad in everything. It’s perspective, truly. Maybe your birthday party was just ordinary with not one hand made item – not failing. You bought the juice boxes with the high fructose corn syrup and brought them to soccer – not failing. You forgot to sign them up for dance – not failing. Your child was the one screaming at the checkout line because you wouldn’t purchase the $3.99 Little Pet Shop that was placed at convenient preschool level – not failing. Normal, really.

Yet, you and I, we live in a world where all of these externals could so easily grade us as mothers. Seriously, now, sweet mom, do those things really matter? No. The grade of motherhood isn’t based on external perfection. True failure happens when one quits. You’re up now. Reading these words. And as you read them you, the mother, are a warrior – a silent diaper changing nose wiping picking up books folding socks driving to soccer making dinner with nothing in the pantry warrior. That’s not failing. That’s fighting.

2. Even if you’re not thanked what you are doing matters.

This. Again. You may not be thanked. You may feel that what you are doing doesn’t matter. You may feel that you are not valued. You may feel like those kids of yours hate you. You may feel like you’re in the midst of the most thankless job around. But, here’s the deal – what you do every single day matters even though often it feels like not much. So I’m telling you today – thank you. Thank you for getting up at night. Thank you for helping with math homework. Thank you for counting to ten when you wanted to scream. Thank you for saying I’m sorry after you got too mad. Thank you. I stand up and I applaud you and all the other mothers that read this site applaud you. You are amazing.

3. You will never be the same.

It is impossible to make it through motherhood without being the same. Impossible. Motherhood means giving of the heart and investing in the heart of others and in that process a beautiful metamorphosis takes place. You’re still you – with all of your beautiful gifts and dreams and desires and talents – but now you’ve adapted to take those gifts and to combine them with the beauty of motherhood. Yes, the beauty. Even though often it doesn’t feel beautiful. It still is. One painting, one hug, one chocolate chip cookie batch, one buckling up in the carseat, after another day.

Don’t lose the beautiful premotherhood part of you. Continue to cultivate it and let your children see you thrive as well. So you love art? Paint. Gardening? Garden. Reading books? Read. Running? Run. Teach them your skills, tell them about what you love, and explore life together. Motherhood isn’t about losing self instead it’s about growing self and sharing self with those children blessed to call you mom.

4. The ordinary moments are the most beautiful. (read Seeing Motherhood: Why the Little Things Matter)

Little things matter. If there was one thing I’d want to tattoo on my arm as a reminder to me it would be those words. Or, lol, maybe I should just get a shirt or a coffee mug instead. But, here’s the deal, sweet mother who needs a reminder today about the value of motherhood – the little moments matter. And often the most. Do you know what I remember about my mother? I remember a time where we sat in the kitchen after cutting corn off the ears because we were freezing it and she looked at my dad and smiled and loaded us all in the car and we went to Dairy Queen. And then once there, when I got ready to order my standard cherry dilly bar she looked at me and told me to get whatever I wanted. I remember – that peanut buster parfait was my favorite one ever. She probably doesn’t. But, I do. It was a little thing. A little moment. That has stuck with me all these years. As does the time she put a note in my second grade red Tupperware lunch box with the individual boxes that now would be incredibly cool even though I always wanted one of those tin ones. The note said I love you Rachel. Have a good day. And I remember it.

So savor those little things. They matter. The little notes. The hugs. The times spent resting in the grass looking at the clouds. The times in the car where you listen to their music and try to appreciate what they love. They matter.

5. Everyone’s motherhood story is different and yet all equally important.

Your story is different from my story which is different from my neighbor Maria’s story which is different from the mom at your preschool’s story and on and on. And that is beautiful. And important. Embrace each other’s stories – don’t compare – but instead learn to celebrate. Maybe you are a horrible cook but fabulous at gardening. Trade. Bless each other. You provide the veggies and she the meal. That’s doing life together. We can’t do everything perfectly. And honestly? Perfection would get old. There is beauty in imperfection.

Motherhood in reality is living in imperfection. There are spills, fights, lost homework, meals that are totally disliked, days where a shower seems like a gift, deadlines, and more. But there are also hugs, I love you’s, moments where you watch them sleep and just breathe, and times of bliss. Mine will look different than yours. But they’re both beautiful. Celebrate each other’s story. Don’t compete.

6. Moms are heroes. Real, everyday heroes.

A hero, according to Merriam-Webster, is one who shows great courage. When you stepped into motherhood you demonstrated great courage. No longer was your life centered on you, but now, your life is a beautiful example of giving. Of fighting for your children. I know you fight dear mother. Some of you fight for their health, for their hearts, for their time, for them to go to bed, but whatever you do you fight. And that matters. That’s part of being a hero.

You’re a hero when you get up when you’re exhausted. You’re a hero when you give of your food for them because they’re still hungry. You’re a hero when you try to do those pinterest crafts (for real). You’re a hero when you forget your agenda and sit on the couch and read. You’re a hero when you fold those clothes after they’re all dumped out again. You’re a hero when you want to quit and you keep fighting. You’re a hero. And when you feel otherwise, take a moment, and look at all you do in one day. And then remind yourself that you, as a mother, you are truly amazing.

Six truths.

For moms. In whatever stage of motherhood you find yourself today.

Onward, brave mother. Onward.

~Rachel

And what century do we live in?

Please remind me, what year / century are we living in?

– “It’s so fascinating to learn about how people used to live — especially when we discover that not much has really changed.
However, sometimes you come across some old traditions that you simply can’t believe people ever followed — like these odd dating rituals throughout history.

But what women in the 1950s were expected to do for their husbands? Well, those traditions have certainly flown right out the window!
In May of 1955, Housekeeping Monthly published an article entitled, “The Good Wife’s Guide,” detailing all the ways that a wife should act and how best she can be a partner to her husband and a mother to her children.

It may feel a little strange to accept these rules today, but it remains so interesting to see how society once behaved.”

Click the link to read more…..

http://www.littlethings.com/1950s-good-housewife-guide/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=postplanner&utm_source=facebook.com