Too quick to judge?
I was getting my nails done the other day and had my two little ones with me. They were both in the double pram. My 3 month old fast asleep and my 2.5yo watching a movie on my iPhone. Both quiet and not disturbing anyone.
The woman sitting beside me was not impressed and passed a comment which hurt my feelings and really u feed me. Her rude comment was ‘I come to these places to be away from kids, I’d never bring mine here, they are in after school care’.
It hurt my feelings but also got me thinking.
This woman leaves her kids in after school care so that she can get her nails done? To me that’s selfish. The kids are in school for what 6 hours and she can’t get her nails done then? She has to leave them in care to get them done?
I know she didn’t work that day as I then listened to her conversation with her friend on the phone – yes she sat talking on the phone whilst getting her nails done. She said to her friend that she had caught up with ‘such and such’ for lunch.
My second thought was, my children are not bothering anyone nor disturbing? They are both being very quiet and are extremely well behaved. What is this woman’s problem? Don’t get me wrong, my 2 year old can be naughty, I’m not saying he is an angel but he was being really well behaved this day and I was most impressed with his good behaviour.
Perhaps she was having a bad day?
Now setting the record straight, it wasn’t a beauty salon as such and it certainly wasn’t anywhere fancy. It was a nail salon that specialises in quick mani pedi’s – like in and out in 30 minutes and has approx 20 chairs awaiting clients. Not a quiet sanctuary at all.
I’m usually the type of person who would quickly put this woman in her place and tell her off however the bigger person in me thought to let it slide.
I did however pass comment back to her saying ‘sorry if they are bothering you, they are being quiet and sitting in the pram not disturbing anyone.’ The manager of the salon said its ok and ease don’t feel like I need to apologies for having my children with me and said many mothers bring their children who run around the salon touching things. I was secretly hoping that this woman was listening.
I think sat through my manicure thinking many thoughts such as –
Because I’m a mother am I not supposed to take my children to a salon?
Am I not supposed to be getting a 30 minute manicure?
Am I supposed to leave my children at home?
Is it a bad thing that I have my children with me at all times and actually enjoy it?
Am I not supposed to spoilt myself?
What gives this woman the right to pass comment on someone else’s children?
Doesn’t she enjoy being around her children?
Are her children really naughty which is why she puts them in care?
And the list goes on………
Perhaps it is selfish of me to want to do something for myself?
Gosh I’m a full time mum to a beautiful yet energetic 2 year old boy and a 3 month old. They are both with me 99% of the time. Should I not be entitled to sit in a salon for 30 minutes and get a manicure?
It’s interesting as so many people are so quick to pass comment and judge your parenting skills and or techniques.
My thoughts to those who pass comment, especially when they are strangers who don’t know you or your situation – but then does this actually matter? Is who do you think you are to pass comment and or judgment? Are your children the most well behaved in the world?
How do we feel confident in raising our children to be well adjusted, happy, caring, considerate, loving, giving, fair, successful people if we are constantly being judged in our every move?
We all make mistakes right?
What is perfect parenting?
Everyone makes mistakes, as long as we learn from them who are we to judge each other.
Until we walk in others shoes we should perhaps keep our negative comments to ourselves.
Parenting is hard work and I don’t believe it’s anyone else’s right to tell another parent that their child is naughty nor should they pass comment on how to parent.