Too quick to judge?

Too quick to judge?

I was getting my nails done the other day and had my two little ones with me. They were both in the double pram. My 3 month old fast asleep and my 2.5yo watching a movie on my iPhone. Both quiet and not disturbing anyone.

The woman sitting beside me was not impressed and passed a comment which hurt my feelings and really u feed me. Her rude comment was ‘I come to these places to be away from kids, I’d never bring mine here, they are in after school care’.

It hurt my feelings but also got me thinking.

This woman leaves her kids in after school care so that she can get her nails done? To me that’s selfish. The kids are in school for what 6 hours and she can’t get her nails done then? She has to leave them in care to get them done?

I know she didn’t work that day as I then listened to her conversation with her friend on the phone – yes she sat talking on the phone whilst getting her nails done. She said to her friend that she had caught up with ‘such and such’ for lunch.

My second thought was, my children are not bothering anyone nor disturbing? They are both being very quiet and are extremely well behaved. What is this woman’s problem? Don’t get me wrong, my 2 year old can be naughty, I’m not saying he is an angel but he was being really well behaved this day and I was most impressed with his good behaviour.

Perhaps she was having a bad day?

Now setting the record straight, it wasn’t a beauty salon as such and it certainly wasn’t anywhere fancy. It was a nail salon that specialises in quick mani pedi’s – like in and out in 30 minutes and has approx 20 chairs awaiting clients. Not a quiet sanctuary at all.

I’m usually the type of person who would quickly put this woman in her place and tell her off however the bigger person in me thought to let it slide.

I did however pass comment back to her saying ‘sorry if they are bothering you, they are being quiet and sitting in the pram not disturbing anyone.’ The manager of the salon said its ok and ease don’t feel like I need to apologies for having my children with me and said many mothers bring their children who run around the salon touching things. I was secretly hoping that this woman was listening.

I think sat through my manicure thinking many thoughts such as –

Because I’m a mother am I not supposed to take my children to a salon?

Am I not supposed to be getting a 30 minute manicure?

Am I supposed to leave my children at home?

Is it a bad thing that I have my children with me at all times and actually enjoy it?

Am I not supposed to spoilt myself?

What gives this woman the right to pass comment on someone else’s children?

Doesn’t she enjoy being around her children?

Are her children really naughty which is why she puts them in care?

And the list goes on………

Perhaps it is selfish of me to want to do something for myself?

Gosh I’m a full time mum to a beautiful yet energetic 2 year old boy and a 3 month old. They are both with me 99% of the time. Should I not be entitled to sit in a salon for 30 minutes and get a manicure?

It’s interesting as so many people are so quick to pass comment and judge your parenting skills and or techniques.

My thoughts to those who pass comment, especially when they are strangers who don’t know you or your situation – but then does this actually matter? Is who do you think you are to pass comment and or judgment? Are your children the most well behaved in the world?

How do we feel confident in raising our children to be well adjusted, happy, caring, considerate, loving, giving, fair, successful people if we are constantly being judged in our every move?

We all make mistakes right?

What is perfect parenting?

Everyone makes mistakes, as long as we learn from them who are we to judge each other.

Until we walk in others shoes we should perhaps keep our negative comments to ourselves.

Parenting is hard work and I don’t believe it’s anyone else’s right to tell another parent that their child is naughty nor should they pass comment on how to parent.

Summer tips!

So with summer just around the corner, a lot of friends are starting to work towards their summer body.

Or if your like me, your trying to shift those last couple of baby kilos.

I know I’ve posted some foods calorie counts previously to help with weight loss goals.

Below I’ve listed a few easy ‘switches’ that can help you achieve these goals sooner!

Always remember to achieve your weight loss goals, eat healthy and your still allowed ‘cheat meals’ or snacks on occasion. With all weight loss, it is recommended that some exercise is included. Be it a walk or a class of some sort or simply running around with your children.

You can loose weight with a strict diet and without exercise however exercise will speed up the process and you will get results sooner!

Not to mention feel better as exercise releases endorphins and will give you more energy and a heather mind.

๐Ÿ™‚

Switch a full cream milk in your flat white (123 calories) to skim milk flat white (68 calories)

Switch 100g of roast duck (313 calories) for 100g of roast chicken (152 calories)

Switch a can of lemonade (124 calories) for a diet lemonade (2 calories) โ€“ or even better sparkling water (0 calories)

Switch a pita bread pocket (190 calories) for a slice of Mountain Bread (75 calories)

Switch a glass of tonic water (135 calories) for a glass of soda water (0 calories)

Switch a 100ml scoop of Connoisseur
Vanilla ice cream (224 calories) for the same size scoop of Peterโ€™s Light and Creamy Vanilla (75 calories)

Switch a tablespoon of regular cottage cheese (45 calories) for a tablespoon of low fat cottage cheese (26 calories)

Switch 80g of mashed potato (85 calories) for 80g of mashed cauliflower (19 calories)

Switch a tablespoon of sour cream (70 calories) for a tablespoon of fat free Greek yoghurt (13 calories)

Switch a cup of regular soy milk (185 calories) for a cup of light soy milk (95 calories)

Another tip – always read the labels of food as sometimes when something is low or no fat, it has a higher sugar count.

And what happens if we don’t burn the sugar ??? It turns to fat!

Relationships – defining them?

Relationships.

Well let me firstly start by saying – every relationship is hard! Be it a friendship, partnership or marriage. As most of my loyal readers know, I love sex and the city. I watch the episodes over and over along with the movies – never have enough. Sad but true. I recently watched the episode where Carrie is trying to define relationships. I think it’s the final episode where she comes back from Paris with big and it’s right at the end where she meets up with the girls in their favourite cafe and as the walk out it quotes – “most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.’ Carrie – I love this quote.

Anyway – I recently spoke with a friend whom has recently broken up from a long term relationship. They were talking marriage, children, sharing the rest of their lives together. Now they have gone separate ways.

When I asked what was the reasoning behind the break up, as I thought that they seemed so in love, the response was that they were no longer physically attracted to their partner.

I then thought to myself, perhaps the relationship was doomed from the beginning? Yes it would be nice to have a physically attractive partner but looks are only ‘skin deep’. Looks fade and over time what we find physically attractive changes.

I personally believe that you should always be attracted to the personality over looks. Be with someone who makes you laugh, who you can be your true self with and be comfortable enough in their company to sit in silence and just ‘be together’. A friend.

Not that I’ve always taken my own advice.

So what are relationships based on if it’s only physical?

We all eventually age and wrinkle. Some of us even gain weight and get bad skin. How can we sustain a relationship long term if we are only basing our relationships on physical attraction? Are people or couples honestly up for ‘sex’ 100% of the time? Do you not get tired, get too busy, feel emotionally drained, be physically drained, become stressed, feel less attractive yourself or just not be ‘in the mood’? Perhaps I’m the only one?

Relationships take work. They are not easy and they are certainly a compromise.

I’ve always said and will continue to say. At any given stage within a relationship, one of the partners will be more in love than the other. This I think is just a true hard fact.

I believe that you cannot possibly be 100% in love and attracted physically, emotionally and mentally to the same person 100% of the time. I’m the first to admit that I’m not 100%, 100% of the time.

Having ‘things’ in common or having common ground and likes are a good start but what happens when your hobbies or likes evolve. We all evolve as people and change. I know I don’t like the same things as I did 10 years ago. Perhaps not even 5 years ago? So how are we supposed to be happy with the same person for the rest of our lives?

Well we compromise.

We compromise our likes and wants to help make a relationship work.

What happens though if one partner gives more and compromises more than the other? Is this fair and why should they be the only one to compromise or make sacrifices?

I personally don’t believe that in say a 20, 30, 40 or 50 year marriage that both partners are 100% in love 100% of the time. Most relationships have hurdles and hard times and I believe that by having differences you grow as a partnership. You overcome differences and learn more about each other.

So I gave my advice to my friend and I hope that they are thinking wisely about their future choices. Physical attraction will always ‘grow old’. Mental and emotional attraction will change but I think you can build more on mental and emotional attraction.

I ask, what made you fall in love with your partner?

Do you agree that relationships are work?

Do you think that it’s compromise?

How much would you compromise?

noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Depression

Depression

Semicolon tattoos – recently there has been an increase in these tattoos. I though it must have been hip or the latest cool thing to do but I’ve since found out that they actually have a meaning.

The Semicolon Project is a non-profit dedicated to supporting people dealing with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and other forms of mental illness.

The message is simple: โ€œA semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. That author is you and the sentence is your life.โ€

I know a lot of people including friends and family who have and still do suffer depression.

Depression is not a bad word.

Depression is more than just a low mood โ€“ it’s a serious illness that has an impact on both physical and mental health.

While we all feel sad, moody or low from time to time, some people experience these feelings intensely, for long periods of time (weeks, months or even years) and sometimes without any apparent reason. This is depression.

There are different types of depression.

Did you know that Bipolar is also classified a depression? As is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – SAD is a disorder that is thought to be related to the variation in light exposure in different seasons. It’s characterised by mood disturbances from the sun and moon along with temperature change.

I’ve listed a few below but not all

Melancholia
This is the term used to describe a severe form of depression where many of the physical symptoms of depression are present. One of the major changes is that the person can be observed to move more slowly. The person is also more likely to have a depressed mood that is characterised by complete loss of pleasure in everything, or almost everything.

Major depression
Can also be called major depressive disorder, clinical depression, unipolar depression or simply depression. It involves low mood and/or loss of interest and pleasure in usual activities. It affects all parts of the differed life and can make simply waking up in the morning feel like something harder and more demanding.

Psychotic depression
Sometimes people suffering a depressive disorder can also lose touch with reality and experience psychosis. It may involve hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that don’t exist) or delusions (false beliefs), such as believing they are bad or evil, or that they are being watched or followed. They can also become paranoid, feeling as though everyone in the world is against them or perhaps that they are the cause of illness or bad events occurring around them.

Antenatal and postnatal depression
This could be that the expecting parent is feeling sad, anxious or unhappy about the pending arrival. Fathers can also get antenatal or postnatal depression. Bringing life into this world is a big thing. It can be tough and even though we to get your head around – planned pregnancy or non planned.

None if the above are bad things, they are just types of depression which are caused by our own feelings and emotions. They cannot be co trolled nor should they be ignored.

These types of depression can vary from person to person and if you do or have felt sad or unhappy for a long period of time, perhaps speak to your local doctor.

Just as there are many types of depression there are many different treatments.

If you suffer depression or know someone who may need some help please, check out the below website, Beyond Blue is a foundation for depression where you can not only get a better understanding of depression, the signs and how it may be caused but also where you can seek help.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression