My life as a mummy of two!

My life as a mummy of two!

So settling into being a mummy of two has been challenging. Loving it, but challenging.

Experiencing the love all over again, smelling and absorbing my new born and still being everything I can be for my 2 year old.

My 2 year old has been a little jealous and understandably. He has had his mummy all to himself for the past 2.5years, now all of a sudden he has to share his mummy and it hasn’t been an easy adjustment for him.

Throughout my pregnancy I was trying to help him adjust, I bought books about becoming a big brother, books about expecting a baby and we would chat about how he is getting a little sister and that it’s very special for both him and her.

I thought he would be a little jealous but I guess I wasn’t prepared for the huge change in him.

Firstly my little man used to be a fairly good sleeper. After night nurses and reward charts I had managed to get him to go down approx 6pm in his own bed, we would read 3 books then it was lights off. My little man would then sleep through in his own big boy bed until approx 6am the next morning.

Since I was in hospital for over a week my husband and mother were looking after my little man. His routine wasn’t really followed and for a few weeks he didn’t like to go to bed and wasn’t sleeping through, waking multiple times per night and insisting on sleeping with me and leaving his bedside lamp on.

The first few nights I was really strict and walked him back to his room, comforted him and helped him to go back to sleep but after 5 nights of the same behaviour I began to feel bad and allowed him to come into my bed and sleep with me.

Mainly because it’s a huge adjustment and in between feeding my little girl every 2.5 hours I have been pretty tired. Also secretly I love snuggling with him and he is my little man, my first born and always will be.

This phase only lasted approx 3 weeks though and now he is happy to go to his own bed, he isn’t sleeping through every night, however most nights he does, and if he doesn’t he is only waking once or twice and I carry him back to his room and he goes back to sleep.

He is really sweet with his sister and is quite protective and loving towards her. If he hears her cry he will come straight to me and tell me she is upset and he also runs to her room and says in the sweetest little voice ‘you ok Mila?’

He also loves to help me change her nappy and I allow him to choose her outfits. I want him to feel involved and part of her life. Although he is only 2.5years old I think that by allowing him to be a big part in the decisions around her will help him to adjust and accept her more easily and not have him be as jealous or feel left out or pushed aside.

My little girl though is a different story, she sleeps very well and I actually wake her to feed. During the day I’m feeding every 3 hours however of a night I let her sleep and she wakes me. She is only 3 weeks old though and I anticipate that this may change.

The dynamic in the house has also changed, it feels complete now. I feel like I’m whole. My little man and my little princess have completed me, of course with my husband. 🙂 I was once told that to have one child of each sex is a ‘gentleman’s family’ or a ‘pigeon pair’ which is apparently quite well looked upon in the eyes of some. I feel blessed that I have been able to create this little family with my husband and also be able to give him a child of each sex.

Being a parent is a constant lesson, I’m always learning more about myself but also about my children. I’m feeling very blessed at this stage in my life.

I’m sure with each step and change in growth patterns with my 2 children things within our home will change also with dynamics and learning. I look forward to sharing these moments with you.

Tortilla layer cake

An easy mid week or weekend family meal.

Quick, easy and delicious!

Oh and mildly healthy

Tortilla layer cake?

An easy alternative to tacos/tortilla wraps.

Ingredients (serves 6)

1 x kilo mince – I use lean beef but you can also use chicken or turkey mince.
2 x packets taco seasoning
1 × 6 pack tortilla wraps
1 1/2 x cups water
1/2 x cup sour cream
1/2 x cup tomato salsa
2 x cups grated cheese
Method

Pre-heat oven to 180°c

Brown off mince on stove top then add taco seasoning and water.

Simmer for 15 mins.

In an oven proof bowl layer each tortilla wrap with mince, salsa, sour cream and cheese untill all wraps are used. It will resemble something like a cake!

Sprinkle cheese across the top.

Place in preheated oven untill cheese is melted / grilled to desired liking.

Children’s Rooms

Setting up a child’s bedroom.

Creating a haven for your little ones to sleep, relax and play can be a challenge at the best of times, however throwing in colour pallets, superhero themes and toy areas can put your head into a spin!

It can be really difficult finding the right balance between the functional and the fun, and evolving the space as your children grow and change.

While sleeping space needs to be calm and quiet, the room should also be fun and have areas that inspire your little a ones creativity and imagination with plenty of storage and space for books, craft and toys.

I often change both my little princess’s nursery and my little mans room around. I personally get board of looking at it the same way each and every day so assume that perhaps so do they?

Why shouldn’t our children have a fun bedroom that they actually enjoy being in that it’s only about ‘sleep time’.

Below I’ve listed a few things to consider when trying to put together the perfect kids room for your little ones:

Get the kids involved – use their favourite colours, gather some of their favourite artworks to display, and make them really feel part of the decision making. That way they are more likely to want to spend time in this space.

Space it out – especially if you are only working with a small space, try to use the space wisely so there are specific areas for both sleep and play. Keep the sleeping space clutter free and away from toys and other distractions is a good idea. Wall shelving can also be a good way to keep ‘special’ items away from harms way.

Create a reading corner – kids who love books will hopefully grow into adults that love books. By creating a little reading corner in one area of the room your essentially creating a space where you can display favourite books, and a dedicated area for quiet time. Tee-pees are great to house the kids treasured items.

Light – while bright or natural lighting is important during the day for play time and homework softer lighting is much more soothing for night time. A night light or lamp is a good idea to have next to or close to the bed for bedtime stories.

Let the imagination run wild – if you keep the basics like the bed or cot neutral, then experiment with bold colours and textures in your artwork, wall decals (removable ones) bed linen, furnishings and toys, make the room fun and easy to excite and delight your children at every age and stage of their lives.

Settlements and chores

Settlements and chores with marriage and divorce.

I recently read an article in Australia’s Marie Claire magazine about divorce settlements and how they are being settled.

To my shock these things are now being divided almost into a spreadsheet of what the women did around the house during the marriage and put a number on. For example, each load of washing was valued at $25.00.

After reading more into this breakdown it also detailed ‘babysitting duties’ at $25/hr, cooking at $15 per person per meal, school runs at $20/hr and so on.

So these women say have 3 children ranging from 5-15 years old and are married for 17 years and now getting settlements based on what they ‘earns’ during their marriage raising their families?

Please explain to me how this works?

I thought that being a mother was a blessing and not a job?

Why should we be paid or compensated for being given this privilege?

I understand that when we do become mothers and like myself some choose to become a stay at home mum and raise our children instead of keeping our careers and having our little ones in full time care, this is our choice. So why when things don’t go as planned are women expecting to get a lump dime pay out to compensate for loss of earnings?

The article I read had the woman seeking half her husbands superannuation, which I understand she hasn’t early any in the past however many years as she has been the home maker, but why is she entitled?

Along with half the super she is seeking the lump sum payment which looks a bit like this.

17 years
3 children
* 1 x load of washing per day @ $25 per load = $175 x 17 years = $546,976
* Baby sitting @ $25 per hour – 5 hours per day, = $125 x 5 days per week, the time she is at home alone each week day with the / her children = $625 x 15 years = $
* 6 x dinners per week @ $20 per meal for 5 people = $600 x 17 years = $
* Daily errands = $20 per hour @ 3hours per day = $60 x 7 days = $420 x 17 years = $
* Ironing @ $25 per basket x 2 baskets per week = $50 x 17 years =
* cleaning the family home @ $25 per hour x 3 days per week = $75 x 17 years = $
* Packing school lunches @ $10 per lunch, 3 x children.
10 years for the eldest @ 5 x days per week, $50 per week @ 40 weeks per year x 10 years = $20,000
5 years for the Middle child @ 5 days per week $10,000
1 year for the youngest @ 5 days per week $2,000
Total = $32,000

So this all equals $2,278.53 per week
Which equals $118,483.82 per year
Over 17 years equals $2,012,355.00

Keep in mind this doesn’t include her going for half the superannuation not half the combined assets.

Is this fair?

With the average Australian annual salary being $75,000 per annum what would you expect from your partner if you were to divorce after 17 years and raising 3 children?

Would you expect or want half his superannuation?

Would you expect a lump sum pay out similar to the above?

Who actually can afford to pay out over $2 million dollars in a divorce settlement?

Another article that I found interesting was one where the husband worked out what his wife’s annual salary should equate to if being paid on parental duties only. Surprising it’s $97,000 per annum – this is not including house hold chores.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/stay-at-home-salary/

Have you been divorced?

Do you find this fair?

Email me : noordinarymummy@gmail.com

Cyber bullying

Cyber bullying!!

There are many types of cyber bullying.

Bullying is a huge problem world wide that can have huge repercussions. It is becoming more of an issue in schools, online, sporting groups and also behind closed doors.

I recently watched a movie called ‘Disconnected’. It talks about social media, online bullying, chat forum dangers and just what happens over the internet.

It’s alarming to watch these terrible things happen to every day people. This movie is based on a true story. I won’t spoil it and tell you too much about it however the online bullying that occurs on this movie by two young school boys towards another boy when they pretend to be a girl and post nude images then send his images to the whole school is horrible. The targeted boy hangs himself. Very sad. Unfortunately this happens every day and nothing is done about it.

More information on this movie is in the following link.

http://disconnectthemovie.com

I have in the past been victim to a ‘type’ of cyber bullying. This particular person was being nasty and negative also making demands and accusations towards me and towards my blogs and writing ability.

They felt that what was written is defamation or lies. It’s not, what I’m writing is experiences in either my life or someone who I know. I have facts and plenty of proof. These blogs are written about many people that I know, they have given their permission for me to express their experiences and are certainly not targeted against one person. I write about every day things that occur in most peoples lives and lots of personal experiences had by myself and those I know.

This particular person should perhaps stop reading the blog? Or stop following me on Twitter. They seem to think everything I’m writing about is about them. Maybe they are just so twisted in their own lives that they feel bad about themselves so fear that perhaps they relate to my blogs therefore believe it’s about them?

In most cases with bullying, these people are self entered and suffer low self esteem which is why they feel attacked and then react by attacking others caused by their own insecurities. These people have ‘issues’ which is why they bully others, to make themselves feel better about the person that they are.

What they are doing is actually bullying me, not the other way around.

I guess they feel as they are not directly contacting me as a person only via a blog or Twitter so they cannot get caught and that they are not directly bullying me, however it is classified cyber bullying.

Cyber bullying is terrible and can cause people to become insecure, reserved, shy, recluse and scared.

I have reached out and alerted Stop Bullying which is a government organisation who looks into all claims and then monitors the bully’s actions and correspondence.

There are ways to stop bullying.

Firstly report it.

You can report it to the police or to an organisation like I have. I have put contact links below for you.

Talk to someone about it.

You are not alone, there are reasons why these people are called ‘trolls’ it’s because they are not nice people who are generally unhappy within themselves and are pushing their own issues onto others.

Remember cyber bullying is a crime which you can be convicted for.

A criminal conviction that will have repercussions for the rest of your life. You may loose your job, you may loose access to your children, you may loose respect of your peers but most importantly you can go to jail for this.

It doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are. Cyber bullying is not on and you will get caught and hopefully reprimanded.

There are too many incidences where this is not bought to the attention of others and sadly it can result in someone taking their own life.

I fortunately am not allowing this person to get to me. As much as they think it’s ok to try bully me through others. It’s not ok and you have been reported.

Did you know that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube all ban cyber bullying?

If you have been bullied online, have seen bullying online or are worried that you may have bullied someone else online and you don’t know what to do next, you can get free, confidential legal advice from Lawmail.

What is bullying?

Bullying is behaviour that is meant to be hurtful.
It targets a certain person or group of people.
It happens more than once; and
embarrasses, threatens or intimidates the person being bullied.

What is cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying is bullying carried out online or through mobile phones or computers.

This could include using SMS, email or social networking sites to harass or abuse someone.

Is cyber bullying a crime?

Cyber bullying can be a crime under either South Australian or national law when it involves:

Cyber bullying is using the internet or a phone in a threatening, harassing or offensive way.

Stalking (including messaging someone to harm or scare them)
Accessing internet accounts without permission

Defamation (spreading lies to intentionally hurt someone’s reputation)

Encouraging suicide

Menacing, harassing or offensive use of the internet or a mobile.

It is a crime to use a phone or the internet in threaten, harass or seriously offend somebody.

A message or post could be considered offensive if it is likely to cause serious anger, outrage, humiliation or disgust. The maximum penalty is 3 years in jail.

http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/

http://m.cybersmart.gov.au

http://www.lawstuff.org.au/sa_law/topics/bullying/cyber-bullying